Dr. Zonk stared at the giant red monstrosity. MEEEEEEEELT, he thought desperately. YOU KNOW YOU CAN DO IT!!!
Dr. Zonk was a scientist that was mad in multiple ways. The first is that “mad” is a synonym for “insane”, a synonym known to be used to describe crazy scientists with a big frizzy ball of shockingly blue hair. The second is that he was very, very, extremely, ferociously, absolutely terror-inducingly angry at a popsicle. Yes, you read that right. A popsicle.
This popsicle was a child’s dream. It was a delectable sweet cherry flavor, juicy and cold, but that wasn’t even the best part. This particular popsicle was ten feet tall and five feet wide with a long, thick wooden dowel down the middle and protruding out the bottom.
But in the very middle, encapsulated inside the flavored ice, was a crystalline diamond. This diamond, labeled the Mind Diamond, gave its beholder the power to mind-control anyone they wanted. It was trapped in the giant popsicle by Dr. Zonk’s enemy—Freezeray. Freezeray was the town superhero, and had the power to freeze anything into a thick coating of ice. Freezeray had frozen the diamond so that Dr. Zonk couldn’t get to it, and just for fun poured cherry flavoring on and stabbed in a wooden stick.
Ever since, Dr. Zonk had gotten all his best minions to put heat lamps and fires all around it. He’d reduced it to eight feet tall and four feet wide, but nobody could get to the diamond. Power drills glanced right off its icy surface and fists barely made a mark. The only way Dr. Zonk could get to the diamond was melting, and it was driving him CRAZY.
Meanwhile, Freezeray was having a grand time watching Dr. Zonk drive himself insane. She’d implanted microscopic cameras on the popsicle stick so she could monitor the scientist’s progress on melting the icy treat.
Soon, she thought, I’ll storm their lair and freeze the diamond forever.
See, unbeknownst to the public, Freezeray had another ability. But this ability she could only use once in her lifetime. This ability was basically her normal power, but the ice became unmeltable. No matter how many heat lamps they turned on, fires they lit or punches they threw, the ice would stay solid and ice-cold. Freezeray had neglected to use it for fear that she’d need it someday, but she knew that it would be best used to trap the dangerously powerful diamond forever. But first she planned on freezing the insane scientist and making him watch as his precious diamond got frozen for eternity.
Freezeray wore her classic blue-and-white Freezeray jumpsuit with her white sneakers and short blonde wig. Freezeray wore a boys’ blonde wig because she knew that society wouldn’t welcome her as a superheroine. All the comic books portrayed Batman and Spider-Man and Superman. Batwoman, Spider-Woman, and Superwoman? Most kids wouldn’t even know they existed. Superheroes were stereotypically male. Girls didn’t save the day. So Freezeray went along with being a boy. She wanted to be known as a girl, but society simply wouldn’t accept it.
Freezeray watched Dr. Zonk yell at his minions to make fires burn hotter, laughing. He really was a mad scientist. She then noticed how depleted the popsicle was—only two feet wide and five feet tall! She would have to move fast. Freezeray adjusted her wig and tightened her shoelaces. Hesitating a second, she grabbed her monitor and was off.
Dr. Zonk was this close to his prize. He could almost feel it! Freezeray had kept him from his prize, but not for long. The superhero was too late! He would have his diamond and the first thing he’d do with it was have Freezeray walk off a cliff!
Dr. Zonk, perched on a chair, stared as pink liquid dripped onto the floor from the ever-melting popsicle. One eye spasmed as he grinned creepily at the crystal. He didn’t even notice when his assistant, Burt, called his name.
“Doctor?” Burt piped up.
“Doctor?” He tried again.
“Doctor?” Growing a little irritated, Burt yelled,
Shaken from his apparent trance, Dr. Zonk whirled around. “What? No need to yell!”
Burt ignored this. “We have some new intel from camera #5.”
The scientist immediately perked up. “Is it that Freezeray brat? He’s so annoying!”
Burt cleared his throat. “Well, yes. She is outside the main door, most likely picking the lock now—”
Dr. Zonk burst out laughing. “Freezeray is a girl?!?!”
Burt nodded solemnly.
Still giggling hysterically, Dr. Zonk replied, “I’m up against a girl? Gosh, I thought this was going to be hard! You might as well open the door for her! This will be a piece of cake—or should I say, popsicle!”
Burt raised an eyebrow but was silent. He handed the giggling scientist the recording of Freezeray entering.
In the video, Freezeray (wearing her wig) casually walked up to the camera. “Hello, Doctor. I bet you’re sitting there salivating over your precious diamond. I’ll have you know that you are not getting your grubby little hands on the Mind Diamond, now or ever. Well, I’m about to dump a big surprise on you.” Freezeray pulled off her wig and let her white-blonde curls fall to her back.
Dr. Zonk paused the video, choking on laughter, tears in his eyes. “Aaaaahhhhh, this’ll be so much easier than I thought.”
Freezeray was turning redder by the minute. She stood at the front doors, out of view of the cameras. She’d checked her monitor to find an infuriatingly sexist conversation between Dr. Zonk and his assistant. She got so angry that she almost froze the screen. Tossing her unused boys’ wig to the ground, she picked the lock and thrust open the door to Dr. Zonk’s headquarters.
The HQ was very obviously a villain’s lair. It was a hulking black building that always had toxic waste flowing from its sewers. Cameras recorded everything and everyone within fifty feet of them, and windows were made of Plexiglas. Their HQ wasn’t hidden at all. It was smack-dab in the center of the busiest street in town.
Great pick, Doctor. Great pick.
Freezeray stormed down the hallway, thrusting her arms out to freeze any of Dr. Zonk’s minions that tried to stop her. Agile and quick, Freezeray made her way to the main room in record time.
The scientist didn’t even notice the superheroine enter. He was too busy watching the diamond with indescribable greed and hunger.
Casually freezing the large groups of minions flocking to her, Freezeray smiled calmly. “Not trying to ruin your moment, but that diamond is staying right there.”
Dr. Zonk turned, unintimidated. “Hello, Freezerella,” he mocked, drawing out the A for extra effect. “Glad you and your feminineness decided to join us.”
Freezeray smiled. “My feminineness and I are going to kick your butt, so I’d be careful what you say.”
“Ha!” The scientist scoffed. “Like you’ll even put up a fight.”
There’s that grin again. “Just you wait.”
Freezeray thrust out a hand to freeze Dr. Zonk, but he was quick. He dodged and rolled and even cartwheeled once. Freezeray’s heart thumped in her chest, playing a nice dramatic beat to go along with the fight.
Heroine and villain dodged and struck, played defense and offense, until Dr. Zonk suddenly stopped. Freezeray was about to put him in his icy place when she traced his gaze. The diamond was freed of its sweet cherry chains. Immediately Dr. Zonk made a break for it. Instead of running after him, Freezeray froze the ground under the mad scientist’s feet. Dr. Zonk fell to the ground with a thud. Before he could get up, the superheroine trapped him in ice. No more minions left to fight, Freezeray walked over to study Dr. Zonk’s expression.
The scientist had his arm thrust out, desperately grabbing for his prize. His eyes were bulging, terrified yet knowing. His freshly ironed white lab coat billowed behind him, seemingly frozen in time.
Freezeray grinned. This would be more fun than she’d thought.
She froze him under another five inches of ice. “That was for being evil.”
Another five. “That was for hurting people.”
“And finally” —Freezeray added another foot of ice to the hunk encasing the mad scientist— “that was for being so sexist!”
The superheroine casually strolled over to the Mind Diamond. Her smile was replaced with a solemn expression of concentration. She put her hands straight out front of her and bored her eyes into the diamond. White and blue tendrils swirled from her palms, covering up the crystal until all she could see of the powerful diamond was a huge blizzard of swirling blues and whites. Freezeray’s eyes glowed a ghostly white and with one last unleashed scream, the tendrils fell away to find the diamond encapsulated in a thick five feet of ice on all sides.
Freezeray collapsed to the floor, her energy spent. She lay there for what felt like forever. But at least she knew that no matter what Dr. Zonk tried, the Mind Diamond will be safely trapped in its cage of ice forever.