Dead Bedroom

It's official after years of effort to verbalize the sentiment. Intimacy had vanished like money when It's spent. I love you but damn it does bring some weight. I hate that my head craves the feeling to sway.

Her body calling me throwing thoughts into my brain. A feeling that is easy to understand but difficult to explain. Sex becomes dust, and only silence is obtained. Happens occasionally which dismantles lust when she complains.

Hang my thoughts like a Keychain. My wife is perfect in many ways. Responsible and diligent but she is no saint. Wild from the start so she faded from being insane.

We laugh and talk but cry and scream. Despite the hell couples carry we make a great team. We have our moments that pushes the boundaries of self esteem. When arguments formulate pain the emotional damage is extreme.

I define loyalty in which I strictly maintain. But why is sex more addictive than cocaine? Despite our precious lifestyle with a house on our terrain. I can't help feel that a part of me is abstained.

Now I know truthfully that it shouldn't matter. Feeding love on a silver platter. Depressed from work and what comes after. I dropped affection and now the pieces are all scattered.

I fight myself due to plastic emotions. Your past haunts me like the bottom of the ocean. You slept with enough to despise devotion. I feel that my sexual needs can't go undone. I love the passion of being one on one. I understand not everyday but at least once a month.

I won't cheat though despite the urge. That isn't the problem I'm down to earth. Honest because I understand that one lie can hurt. Loyalty is common sense that shouldn't raise concern.

The age gap between us is about a decade. I am currently 34 who's happily engaged. Do the math to find my wife's age. Her patience doesn't exist. Her maturity will explain. It's been a year since I've got laid. We have our fights that causes delay. Crazy how before it was everyday. Can't understand how the passion fades. This sexual demon has been wrongly caged. For most people that's the relationship grenade.

I feel bad because I'm not the type. To complain about having fun at night. It stressed me out, so I decided to write. Sorry my love, but the drag isn't right.

"Oh, I'm tired," or "not today." But on the phone, for Christ's sake. Watch a movie and touch so that comfort can reinstate. Too relaxed that the will went away. Strange because you tell me to wait. I ask once a month just so that it circles the brain.

Love you though I want you to know. Your ambition and drive is why I love you most. But lately, I feel like a ghost. You speak to me as if you lost hope.

Sorry for being delusional. If only I can exchange libido for being casual. Dead bedrooms where sex was replaced by a snore. The devotion we had was one you adored.

Fantasizing actions that are completely doable. I tried to speak but you treat me like a journal. Kiss a chance to be nocturnal. Do what mammals do because affection is normal. Ride the wave before my heart is purple. While holding the key as if love is universal.

You have never done me wrong so I won't complain. The love between us flows viciously through our veins. Feelings that can't be ignored nor played. Once present it deteriorates like a burning flame.

Maybe one day she will understand. Shoot bullets straight up to see where it lands. A convo that won't be In my hands. Silence anger like a door being slammed.

Life isn't bad just the joy is being pulled. We used to fuck like a pair of wolves. Work picks up as it should. Speak with authority but she has a heavier foot.

Coming home to cook and clean. The baggage of chores that raises the heat. I'd return some words if they came with a receipt. Treasure the good as if it's a treat.

For some reason my mind doesn't approve. You used to accept every chance to have your body abused. Now asking becomes a dispute. Even though you seduce me to filter a mood. Frustrated as if the idea is huge. As I keep moving forward to see what the future includes.

It's been a full year. Wow! You watch movies strict parents won't allow. Neglect the vibe as wonder what that's about. Crazy and sad the things we go without.

Nevertheless the love is there. We smile and laugh as if the damage was repaired. I'm impressed as if the man upstairs. Listens and follows through even with despair.

The sex well that I don't know. It does slow me down like walking on snow. Just keep on going by chasing dough. Use my free time to stalk the cashflow.

Houston, we have a problem. My ideas are flagged as if the concept is condemned. The air became thick as it gets dense. As my awareness sharpen a dagger of self defense.

Desire rented a studio but is jobless. Talk like they don't know how to end a sentence. Pulls me under like some of my expenses. Lifting debt, but the muscles get tense. Sounds easy like climbing a fence. Simple on paper but executing is complex.

It happens so I will not judge. Sex doesn't define life nor love. It hurts the ego when push comes to shove. Regardless of it all we have to raise above.

I've expected nothing less. All of my efforts and nothing progressed. Despite the love there are other ways to express. I love my wife nonetheless. Love is like a game of chess. You forget the rules and it becomes a mess. Think it through as if your trying to impress. Stay strong because most will be depressed.

I've learned to move on and be optimistic. Asking and asking just leads to confliction. Leave it aside like a bag of trail mix. Because at some point the urge will click. She will get horny as some point and begin with a wink. I'll be ready as if I had a couple drinks.

It's been 15 years the commitment is there. I have my needs but never an affair. My loyalty is unbreakable no-one can compare. I love my wife completely and I'm aware.

Hallucinating the worst but it's all in my head. You don't hate me because I'm your best friend. Us against the world until it splits like an egg. Our relationship is a fortress I have to defend. You and I until time meets the end. Sex isn't required just a task to recommend. As great as it is bliss is fed. Kiss the love our actions embellish.