236 comments

Kids Mystery

Authors Note: This is one of the presents I am giving to my almost 5-year-old brother. His birthday is on September 14th. Just a heads up, this story is not true in case you didn’t already know. So happy birthday Joe!!!!


“Yes, I understand he is talented but can he attend this school?”

“Ms. Roberts I can assure you that my son is a very talented young boy. He has never received a grade lower than an ‘A’ in his life! He is also a talented athlete and musician. He does it all!” Mrs. Tate said convincingly.

Joseph Tate is a talented young boy. He was thirteen years old and already a better basketball player than LeBron James. His mother was trying to get him into the best school in the world. But as you could imagine it was really hard to get into.

Joe had applied last year but they denied his application. He had worked harder and harder each month trying to get in. He could play the piano like Mozart, and he knew every country, state, and provinces in the world. But yet there were students attending Bridgewater school considered as more intelligent.

The principal of the school (Ms. Roberts) had put Joe on the waiting list until further notice. She told us a lot of people couldn’t take the pressure of the school and dropped out. That was good news for Joe because he was first on the waiting list. 

Today they were visiting the school to make sure it was the right fit. They had always assumed it would be perfect and never went to visit. 

“So this is our science room. I was told Joe was very good at this subject.” She turned her head to look at Joe.

“Um...Yeah. I love all subjects.” He looked down at his shoes and kept walking.

“What he means is, he’s good at all the subjects.” Mrs. Tate said with a laugh. Joe was a smart kid but he never intended to go to a kind of school like this. He wanted to be a normal kid.


***


“Joe!!!! Guess what, guess what, guess what?!” Mrs. Tate yelled from upstairs.

“What?” Joe asked softly.

“Some kid got kicked off the school list because he lied on his application. I guess his mom just really wanted him to go there. I just don’t get what kind of parents would do that!”

“Yeah, I wonder.” He muttered.

“Aren’t you excited? Oh, we need to get some proper school clothes for you. You need to look like a nerd!!” She said excitedly. 

Joe nodded and walked upstairs.

***


It was the first day of school and Mrs. Tate had picked out the perfect outfit for Joe to wear. Joe put on his outfit fast, even though he didn’t want to go he never liked to be late.

They got in the car and started to drive there. Joe’s bag had to be enormous. The school sent out an email saying all the supplies you would be needing. It was much more than his former school had asked for.

Once they got there Joe got out slowly and said goodbye to his mom. The school was located in Ulm, Germany. But since Joe and his family lived in California they attended the same school but in a different place. They decided to make more of the Bridgewater schools because they realized not everyone could fly to Germany every day.  

Joe assumed the school would be much easier than everyone made it seem, even if it was the best school in the world. 

Once he walked into the school he saw what he least expected. It looked like people were flying. But when he looked closer he saw they were standing on drones. A girl jumped off her drone and walked over to him.

“Hey, are you new here?”

Joe replied with a simple yes and continued to look around. “You're going to love it here. Did you know one of the founding fathers of our school was Albert Einstein? I guess that’s one of the reasons we have a reputation for being super smart.” She paused to look at Joe. Joe didn’t answer, he was too amazed by the drone technology.

“Oh, the drones! Do you like them? I designed the blueprints for them. Sally over there put them together. I’m Rachel by the way,” She said, sticking out her hand. Joe shook it and looked up at Rachel.

“I’m Joe,” He said simply.

“Your Joe? I’ve heard lots about you! You are supposed to be smart, huh? What’s 10 × 4 - 2 × (16 ÷ 4) ÷ 2 ÷ 1/2 + 9? Don’t think, just answer.”

“I don’t know, 22.5?” Joe said unsure of himself.

“You don't know? It’s worse to answer and say you're unsure than to not answer and really know the correct answer.”

“What?” Joe asked.

“I’m saying...You know what never mind. Here I’ll show you to your first class.” She walked in front of Joe while he followed. While they were walking through the hallways Joe saw many different inventions students had made. This school was nothing like he had ever seen before. 

He could have sworn he saw a saber-toothed tiger in the science lab. He almost asked about it, but he didn’t want to look dumb in front of Rachel.

“I saw your mouth open,” Rachel said, staring him down. “What were you going to say?”

“Nothing.” He said looking away from her.

“You know it doesn’t make you dumb to ask a question.” She said turning away. Joe thought about that for a moment. He had heard that from numerous teachers before but there was something about Rachel that made it sound more true. 

“Are you in my first class?” Joe asked, trying to change the subject.

“Oh, no. I was told you needed to be taught about our school. You see we have made many different science inventions, unlocked many doors in the math program, and our sports teams have been playing phenomenally lately. Ms. Robert’s told me that you needed to be loosened up. That you need to be informed about nature.”

Joe didn’t know how to respond but he nodded. When Rachel stopped he almost bumped into her. “Here we are, just through those doors. Well, nice meeting you!” She walked back down the hallway and Joe opened the door. 

He couldn’t believe what he saw in the classroom and he was never able to describe it to anyone.





September 12, 2020 21:36

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236 comments

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03:43 Sep 13, 2020

Sorry, I'm a tad bit late but that doesn't take away how amazing this is. And I'm not saying this because you commented on my story but I loved the storyline. It was so creative! The descriptions were insane, and you made the dialogue really, really clear which was really good. All in all, it was so good and I hope to see more! -Sarah

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Evelyn ⭐️
14:36 Sep 13, 2020

Thank you so much Sarah!!

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Corey Melin
22:45 Sep 12, 2020

I enjoyed your story quite a bit, and hopefully your brother enjoys it, and impressed with your writing. At that age, who knows. I listed some suggestions that you can abide by or skip all of them. I'm no grammar expert so tend to stray away from making suggestions. Instead, I look at the creative and imaginative skills in a writer. You are superb in both. Keep up the writing. Suggestions: “Ms. Roberts I can assure you that my son is a very talented young boy. He has never gotten a grade lower than an ‘A’ in his life!- Sugge...

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:34 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you so much Corey! I just edited it and changed some things to your suggestions! Thank you for helping me improve my story! You are such a big help!!!

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Corey Melin
23:46 Sep 12, 2020

You are welcome! Anything to help my fellow writers.

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Evelyn ⭐️
23:48 Sep 12, 2020

Also just letting you know, if you ever want me to check out your stories just tell me! I absolutely love them!!!!!!!

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Avery G.
21:46 Sep 12, 2020

Wow, this was good! There is going to be a part two, right? I loved it! Great job!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:47 Sep 12, 2020

Thank you so much Avery! If there is a good prompt, I will be making a sequel.

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Avery G.
21:48 Sep 12, 2020

You're welcome! Yay!

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:49 Sep 12, 2020

🤣😄

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Dhwani Jain
09:55 Jun 29, 2021

Nice story, Evelyn. I loved the cliffhanger and the way Joe was overwhelmed was described perfectly!

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15:49 Feb 13, 2021

Okay, so I was intrigued by the title because... reasons. Still, you wrote a good, clean story. There were a few errors and I think that part, where the "***" appeared twice almost next to each other, could have either been deleted or lengthened, but your tone really works well!

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21:46 Dec 25, 2020

Whaaaaaaaaaaaat? I was not expecting the ending, and it ROCKED! Good work Evelyn!

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B. W.
04:38 Nov 11, 2020

heyyyy

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B. W.
20:38 Oct 25, 2020

Hey, are you there?

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B. W.
21:35 Oct 09, 2020

Hey Evelyn? it's been a while

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Evelyn ⭐️
17:48 Oct 11, 2020

Hey Im so glad to here from you again!! How's your novel going? Also loving the new name!!

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B. W.
18:47 Oct 11, 2020

I tried to talk to ya a few other times but you never really said anything. Which novel though? I'm working on like four or so novels at the moment. Thanks, it's a halloween name ^^

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Evelyn ⭐️
22:11 Oct 13, 2020

Oh sorry if I didn't see your other comments I have been really busy. How's the Harlow and Willow one?

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B. W.
22:12 Oct 13, 2020

Eh, that ones going good i guess but that's not what i'm working on at the moment. I have a new novel ^^

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Keerththan 😀
08:31 Oct 07, 2020

Upvote spree for you!?? I was planning to read your new story! But I am a little busy right now!

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Evelyn ⭐️
17:44 Oct 11, 2020

Sure!!

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Keerththan 😀
17:51 Oct 11, 2020

Okay! Please read my new story if u r free...

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Megan Sutherland
12:55 Oct 05, 2020

Evelyn, I miss you! Where have you been?? :(

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:59 Oct 05, 2020

Sorry!! I just have been so busy with school! I love reedsy and writing but now I'm just a little busier. I am looking forward to reading your new stories though!!

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Megan Sutherland
22:11 Oct 05, 2020

okiii I hope you have time to come out with something soon!

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B. W.
20:50 Sep 30, 2020

I think i'm almost done with a novel :)

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C.j 🤍
15:45 Sep 30, 2020

I gave you 90 more points,hope it helped 🤞🙂

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Evelyn ⭐️
20:55 Oct 05, 2020

THANKS SO MUCH!!!

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B. W.
16:13 Sep 28, 2020

Hey, could ya maybe help me with something? i thought of a new novel

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:07 Sep 28, 2020

ok sure!!!

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B. W.
21:09 Sep 28, 2020

to make it easier so you could help, could i tell you the plot for it?

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Evelyn ⭐️
21:10 Sep 28, 2020

Yea sure!

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B. W.
21:13 Sep 28, 2020

the plot: there are four friends, two boys and two girls. One of the girls is a 'Guardian' and keeps hidden as a regular human while protecting the other three and being friend's with them. Though she can't reveal herself to be a guardian because many terrible things would happen if she did and scientists would probably try to take her, so she must be careful around her friends and other people so they won't discover what she is

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B. W.
20:16 Sep 26, 2020

Hey i made another story that's kind of for my demi-god series, could ya check out and leave some feedback on "My older sister?"

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Tia Castaway
18:36 Sep 25, 2020

Awesome story!!! I love how you made the girl character,who helped joe !!!

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Evelyn ⭐️
15:46 Sep 28, 2020

Thanks!

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B. W.
15:22 Sep 25, 2020

:D go check out "Betrayed" and leave some feedback

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C.j 🤍
20:33 Sep 24, 2020

When will part 2 come out?

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B. W.
17:49 Sep 24, 2020

Up-vote spree? :)

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Keerththan 😀
02:43 Sep 24, 2020

Wrote a new story. Mind reading it ?

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