Dawn of Spring

Dawn of Spring[1]

Triggering warning: suicide, violence and blood

Bleak moonlight paled the mottled shade of sycamore trees, along the Huangpu River, whirled several melancholy shadows, flittering, wavering, quivering, as if an obsolete wrecked ship in the vast ocean, or a ramshackle shanty in the windy plateau. Among all the lightening windows of thousands of buildings in the vintage Shanghai, there was one particularly somber, in which a girl wept sorrowfully, black hair smoothly flowing like a river, phoenix eyes shining like pearls, slim shape naturally forming. Although her tears smearing up her exquisite make-up, she still emitted a mysterious sense of pulchritude.

Beside her stood a young man. An unutterable flick of determination revealed in his sparkling eyes. He stood behind the charming young girl, gently stroking her back as if she were a frightened cat, attempting to console her down until the inviting smell from the kitchen reminded him of the stewing dishes.

“ Sheng, mom got me to look after her. Don’t you worry. You take care of yourself and pursue your dream.”, said the young man to the girl, in a tone of unswerving determination.

“ You always have this excellent talent of dancing, much better than me. I’m sure that, one day, you’ll become famous”, the man kept talking with reassurance.

“ But 哥哥[2], you are also such a talented dancer, and it is such a pity for you to give up your dream…”, cried Sheng, tears trickling down her cheeks.

Chun slowly walked out of the kitchen, hands holding a small white china bowl, with exquisite decorative pattern of blue dragons, “This is the 糖醋排骨[3] I specially made for you. 快点趁热吃吧[4]”, muttered Chun to his sister, who was already collapsed in tears.

“ It is my fault. If only I could have the capability to make money, you wouldn’t suffer so much like now…”, wept Sheng helplessly.

“ Don’t be so sad. ‘人生达命岂暇愁，且饮美酒登高楼[5]’, Li Bai was also lost in melancholy at that time. But instead of indulging himself in endless sorrow, he chose to face his life and relish every moment of it. You still have the show at your Christian high school tomorrow, right? You’ll be the rising star. Don’t worry too much about us. We’ll be fine.”

“I’ll definitely try my level best to attain my dream, not only for myself, but also for the family. I won’t let you down!”, Sheng uttered in a determined voice, eyes sparkling with persistence.

Deep sorrow had been clutching the heart of Sheng. Perhaps the natural combination of such sorrow and her soft dancing style showed the vivid illustration of “愁[6]”, the most powerful emotion in the genes of Chinese culture, granting her the magical power to vividly express the elegance of the traditional dance style, like a soaring phoenix, relishing the grandiosity of the universe.

Standing at the stage and surrounded by seas of applause, Sheng felt her sank in extreme solitude, without any perception of happiness of sorrow. She glanced through the auditorium and, all of a sudden, her eyes encountered with Chun’s most familiar face, soft and warm, seemingly the warm sunshine of Spring melting down the coldest ice in her heart. Lost in truancy, she subconsciously stepped down the stage, crashing with an older man wearing a traditional Chinese-style short gown with dragon patterns on it, hairs domineeringly combed back. The moment she glanced at his face, she recognized him, Yulie Jin, one of the most wealthy and powerful man in Shanghai, his opium business all over the world.

“ Sorry, sir”, apologized Sheng.

“ Oh, Miss. Li, what a coincidence. I was just wondering to invite you to my house tomorrow. There will be a huge party, where all of the celebrities in Shanghai will show up, and I’m really anticipating for your presence”, said Jin.

“ Oh, thank you, sir. But I’m not quite sure about whether it would be appropriate for me to attend such an aristocratic occasion”

“Don’t worry, I’m also an artistic enthusiast. You are certainly welcome. I have a meeting in a moment. I’m really looking forward to seeing you this Saturday.” Then in a few seconds, he disappeared in the crowds.

Sheng was in a mood of apprehensiveness. She seemed to picture the scenario of her meeting with Jin, in his golden, tremendous palace of wealth and power, with a sense of premonition.

Yet the day still came.

“ Excuse me, sir?”

“ Oh, yes, please come in. This is my house and you don’t have to be that nervous.”

“ Ok, thank you, sir. Considering the current situation, please forgive my rudeness of bring up such silly questions. But I’m still in confusion with respect to my invitation. Apologize again for my brusqueness.”

“ There’s no need to apologize. I’m the one who should apologize to you, actually, for inviting you to my house without clarifying the reason.”

“ Oh, sir, that’s fine. How may I help you?”

“ Sheng, you know that you’re such a brilliant dancer, right? There is no other people in that dance group who deserves the honor more than you. I’m a man who cherishes the value of your promising young people, especially the kind of people who shares a strong artistic obsession with me. You will be the shining star on a wider stage. Do you have a dream to become a professional dancer in the most prestigious dance group in the world?”, said Jin in a pretentious voice.

“Ah, dancing has been my life and my wildest dream is to join such a prestigious dance group. I’m practicing day and night all for the silver chance to join the Shanghai dance group, which seems the first step to pursue my dream. Oh, please forgive my boorishness.”

“Actually, it’s not that complicated to fulfill your dream. I’m a successful business man and I got my own connections. One of my”, Jin’s talking was suddenly interrupted by a strong man with a ferocious look entering the room. But noticing the slight displeasure revealed on Jin’s face, the man swiftly left the room, as if there were a ruthless killer after him.

“Ah, sorry for the interruption. One of my business partners, his close friend is the leader of the world prestigious dance group from France. Since you are such a talented and clever young girl, I wonder if you want to hold the opportunity to accept my offer”, a wicked sneer flashed across Jin’s face, but Sheng was too focused on the chance to notice.

“ Emm… But sir, under such circumstances, after my father’s unfortunate passing away and… I genuinely possess nothing to reciprocate your favor…”

“ Wait, wait, what makes you think that I want money from you?”

“ Don’t you worry, you deserve it. Sheng, this can be a little awkward to say, but to be honest, the first sight I looked at you, I know you are the special one…”

“ Thanks for your compliment, sir. I’m flattered.”

“Sheng, I believe that you are a girl with not only beauty but also wits, kindness and sense of responsibility. You know what I mean, right? Also think for your family. It should be enough for today and I’m looking forward to your reply before the weekends.”

After leaving Jin’s house, Sheng was haunted by extreme depression and hopelessness. Never could she fall asleep in the dark cold night. She was thinking of her decaying family, her mother seemingly at her last breath, her exhausted brother wandering between various harbor in order to gain enough money for the family of three. How could she still have the choice to pursue her own felicity, to pursue her unswerving romantic affection, to hold on to the right of making decisions, while the whole family was suffering from impoverishment. No. She had no alternative but to accept the offer.

Another night of struggles and sorrow.

Sheng was sitting at the side of the bed and staring at the silver mirror in front of her, her phoenix eyes glittering with a hiding sense of melancholy. She dedicatedly stared at the image from the mirror, which reflected a gorgeous woman in a traditional Chinese qipao meticulously chosen by Jin, a woman she barely knew from her memory. Her eyesight swiftly slid from the mirror to the bronzed rouge box positioned on the chest of drawer, its golden surface fading and revealing its inner blackness.

With the creaking sound of the door opening, in came Jin, stepping towards her. His face revealed a pretentiously kind smile, or perhaps more like an evil sneering. Sheng suddenly felt the coldness of his fingers sweeping across her back. His fingers brushed on her clean and smooth skin, dirtying it like dust on a white canvas. So far, Jin had always treated her like something ornate—an exquisite porcelain doll just out of packaging, like his own collection of valuable objects. Slowly, Sheng could feel that his fingers moving to the button of her qipao. The moment he attempted to unbuckle it, Sheng suddenly shrink away from him.

There were many times that Sheng, in a mood of reluctance, tried to stay escape from Jin’s behavior, yet she lacked the courage to stop him. Images of her brother secretly waking up at midnight and wiping medicine to his bloody and weather-beaten body came flashing across her eyes; images of her aged mother lifelessly lying on the hospital bed and hopelessly waiting for the right therapy, suffering from the ineffable triggered her deep sorrow and remorse. Tears subconsciously trickled down her cheeks. Noticing her weakness, Jin stealthily sneered and then just indifferently ignored it.

Rains drizzlled outward, with a suffocating darkness suffusing the air. Sheng lifted up her hollow eyes and glanced out of the window, hoping to find a little bit of light, but in vain, merely the endless darkness, seemingly engulfing every ray of light in the world. The monotone pace of drizzles became the only melody of the night. A dreadful atmosphere clouded the world of tranquility, with an inner impulsion to collapse or perish.

A sudden sound of weeping broke the incessant silence. Followed noises of crashing, beating and breaking, like the approaching steps of the death. After all these masquerading, Jin finally rip down his feigned mask, or perhaps his last sense of humanity. Under the dim light of the crystal chandelier, tears of sore and frustration flickered down Sheng’s bloodless cheeks, smearing up her exquisite make-up. Jin rampantly tore her ornate qipao into tears, showing deep scar of lacerations with blood stains randomly on her jadelike body. An extreme sense of remorse clutched the deepest of her heart, for her previous decision of accepting Jin’s offer. Deep down her heart, she realized that she was on the edge of collapsing, like a phoenix scorching in the fire.

After Jin fell into sound sleep, Sheng took the chance and escaped. The moment she stepped out of the house, drops of rain damped her silk gown, a chilly feeling suddenly piercing through her bones. But there was nothing able to stop her from dashing forward, to the Concession Police Station, where she reported her sufferings to a police officer. So exhausted was she while so atrocious was the weather that she finally could not tolerate and collapsed onto the ground in the police station. Subconsciously, she was worrying about the safety of her brother, but before long, she lost her consciousness. When she woke up, she was already back to the house of Jin, and her brother tied up kneeling at the corner of the room, mouth stuffed by some towel. After Jin gave him some money, the police left with a flattering smile. Then Jin also left with his hatchet man, who dragged her brother out of the room.

Her heart sank to the bottom, with an extreme combination of exasperation and desperation haunted in her mind. There was no way that she could escape from the control of Jin. She collapsed to the ground, face buried in her hands, tears flooding out of her fiery eyes, which gradually lost its last light. Suddenly, a dreadful imagination flashed across her mind. She had to fight for her own freedom.

Sheng was sitting at the side of the bed and staring at the silver mirror, which stood still at the corner of the room, with an image of an expressionless woman in it, whose eyes dark and lackluster, pale face marking her sufferings and agonies, a deep wrinkle sliding across her forehead. In her tiny hand lies a small golden knife, as sharp as the teeth of a tiger, desiring to rip someone’s heart. She meticulously folded it and hid it under the sheet of the bed.

Jin came back as usual, with the same expressionless face, perhaps revealing a flash of sneering. “You monster! You are colluding with the concession government!”. Her teeth chattered and her lips wobbled, howling like a wounded animal. A mysterious expression appeared on Jin’s face, “ You shouldn’t have tried to escape. There is no hiding place for you in Shanghai. You want him to be free?”, ruthless words flowed from Jin’s lips, his eyes staring at Sheng’s weather-beaten face. “ Please! Just release him. I’ll do whatever you want!”, cried Sheng sorrowfully. A vicious sneer flashed across his face. Jin came to the telephone and made the phone call to release Sheng’s brother. “ Thank you”, Sheng replied in a strange manner, as if her first encountering with Jin. She forcefully made a feigned smile.

She slowly stepped towards his back and gently touching his hair, as if tending her loved one, but at the same time, her another hand reached to sheet and took out the knife. This was the sharpest knife in the world, glittering under the dim ray of the chandelier light, chilling as frost and snow. Wavering between her following action, she just held the knife with her quivering hand, unable to determine her mind to poke out. At the very moment, unfortunately, Jin seemingly felt the sense of death and turned around, eyes staring at the flashing blade. “ You filthy thing wants to kill me, huh!”, he angrily beat Sheng with a hard kick, momentarily hitting her to the ground, knife dropped from her hands. Face reddening like an angry bull, Jin charged towards her. Rock hands suddenly held Sheng’s neck, in an unimaginably large force, nearly killing her at once. “Now let you to taste the feeling of death, huh”, sneered Jin, face distorted with a sense of ridicule. Under hallucination ,she randomly waved her hands on the floor, suddenly touching the cold knife she had dropped before. On the edge of death, she grabbed the knife and swiftly poked it into the softest place of Jin’s neck.

Blood instantly poured out like a flooding cascade, transiently reddening the ornate carpet. Jin collapsed to the ground and the light in his eyes gradually faded away, his hands falling, without any strength. In a mood of shock and stupor, Sheng slowly rose up, lifted up her head and glimpsed out of the window, out of which heavy rains pouring down the roof and starless sky pervaded with a sense of dolour, dim light of the crystal chandelier illuminated the darkness of a corner of this silent world.

Spontaneously, Sheng began to dance, so graceful and gorgeous like the soaring phoenix, with reborn vitality to infinite freedom. Her slender shanks jumped the beating paces, eclipsing the princess and concubines in the palace. Seemingly following the rhythm of life, she danced and danced and danced, oblivious of all the joys and sorrows, until the end of her last breath. Blood trickling down the slim necks of Sheng, reddening her jadelike skin, so red just like the burning lip rouge wearing on her lips. She solemnly gazed out of the window, eyes randomly glancing at the distant horizon line. There was a moment that she felt a sudden gleam of light lighting up the darkness, like the silver ray of hope and felicity.

And hence her corporeal entity vanished while her notional monument was constructed, perhaps in the anguished silence of the nation, of the ups and downs, risings and subsidings of the cockeyed human history, within a rather solemn frame, the iron fist of the darkest side of humanity, after which followed the harbinger of a new era, a beatific epoch without oppression, barbarity and numbness.

Chun was kneeling at the side of his beloved sister’s body, hands holding her already cold hands tightly, sorrowful tears incessantly trickling down his cheeks.

“Sheng, don’t leave us…糖醋排骨都凉了[7]…

[1] “Dawn” refers to “破晓” or “黎明” in Chinese, representing the vitality of endangering and harbinger of a new epoch. “Spring” refers to “春” in Chinese, the first season of a year, when new lives thrive. In Chinese, “dawn of spring” can be translated into “春生”.

[2] Ge’ge, older brother.

[3] Tang’cu’pai’gu, sour pork ribs.

[4] Kuai’dian’chen’re’chi’ba. Eat it while it is still warm.

[5] Ren’sheng’da’ming’qi’xia’chou, qie’yin’mei’jiu’deng’gao’lou. Everyone has a destiny, which is difficult to breach. And thus we must be open-minded and enjoy our lives while drinking the sweet wine.

[6] Chou, sorrow, depression or melancholy.

[7] Tang’cu’pai’gu’dou’liang’le. The sour pork ribs become cold.