62 comments

Funny

Cocoa B. couldn’t stop staring into strawberry J's eyes. He wanted to curse T. Knife for putting them in this sort of predicament.

“Cocoa Bread, this is Strawberry Jam, Strawberry Jam, this is Cocoa Bread,” Table Knife's smile was very silver.

Strawberry J averted her gaze from Cocoa. How could she not? He wondered why he wasn’t also averting his gaze but staring directly at her. 

She was very pretty, with her so colorfully branded and expensively molded glass jar; that beautiful hat she always wore that had little strawberry fruits on it, along with those of her sisters; Apricot J, Pineapple J… And her sweet, lovely red jelly on the inside.

Cocoa B. hated himself for relishing her beauty while she stood very uncomfortably in front of him, her Jam looking a brighter red.

“You two know each other?” 

They shook their heads, telling a very unpalatable lie.

“ Now, now, you can get to know yourselves” Table Knife smiled again.

Cocoa B. coughed.

“Hi…..um, I’m Cocoa Bread, kneaded in Mundane Bakery, pure cocoa of southwest Nigeria.” He stretched out his dark brown, crumb-ey hand to take hers. She slowly put hers in.

“Nice to meet you, I … I’m Strawberry Jam, processed in the Houston Factory, fresh strawberries, United Kingdom” She turned her face away a little. 

She released her hand almost immediately. 

“Okay, well you both have been sent to me for the Breakfast appointment” T. Knife told them in his business tone, “Nice the both of you are here now, before tomorrow morning that is. Boss said he wants something different this time around” Table Knife rested his thin, silver hand on Cocoa B's shoulder and chuckled.

“White Bread, oh, I love that guy, but we gotta have diversity!” Table Knife raised his hand promptly.

Strawberry J. turned her face away.

He felt his lower body toast.

“ Okay! I’ll leave you two to get acquainted” Table Knife scurried off and left both of them on the kitchen counter.

Cocoa B. couldn’t stop thinking of White Bread. He'd want to eliminate him now. 

Strawberry slowly climbed into the blue and white tray and sat down. There was a wide, red ceramic plate beside her that he guessed was for him to sit.

Silence engulfed the counter.

“So…” Strawberry J sighed.

This was the first time they’d seen each other since their affair. Strawberry J. had cheated on White Bread, with him.

She felt guilty. He knew. Why wouldn’t she after White Bread had caught them in the act? The sugary red jelly had been spread evenly all over Cocoa B, and carefully covered with another layer.

He could never forget the horror on White Bread's face when Boss munched into it, a look of satisfaction on his face.

Strawberry J had smiled, offering to spread a little more so it evened out on all of Cocoa B's body and gave him a richer taste.

When she finally spotted White Bread, she looked terrified, screwed her hat back on tightly and begged White Bread for forgiveness. He just turned and walked back into the cabinet, ignoring her completely.

The only other person that’d been there was Green Tea, and she just stood and watched, shocked.

Cocoa B finally felt guilt. He’d been so selfish, so greedy. And now he’d taken White Bread's position. Boss thought he tasted better.

He was wicked. If he hadn’t been so jealous of White Bread, or so attracted to Strawberry J, things would be normal, and he wouldn’t have become White Bread's mortal enemy.

“ You didn’t apologize to him,” Strawberry J shifted on the tray, she didn’t let her eyes meet his.

He rubbed his fingers together, letting little nano-crumbs fall. He suddenly wished he was burnt in the toaster and thrown in the bin.

The plate felt uncomfortable, he shifted too.

“ You really love him don’t you?” Cocoa Bread asked, diverting.

He loved Strawberry J, but he knew her heart was with White Bread.

“ Cocoa we… we’ve been together for so long, how couldn’t I?” 

He wished he was never invented. No, he wished White was never invented.

Fat chance.

“ Oh my dough,” he buried his face in his hands, then he felt a soft touch on his crust.

“ But I love you too Cocoa,” Strawberry finally looked into his eyes.

Cocoa thought of going out with Cherry Jam instead; he wasn’t ready to be apart of this love samosa. But he couldn’t. It was too late.

T. Knife came running back onto the counter. 

“ Okay guys, kitchen is going on lockdown for the night in a few minutes! We all have to start getting to our storages now,” The almost fat handle that was his leg, bounced, making clink noises on the marble counter.

“ Straw darling, you head on to the fridge with your sisters, Cocoa, you’ll stay in the cabinet, White Bread may move to the Cellar,” He said.

The Cellar! Strawberry J looked like she would cry, and Cocoa B hated himself.

“ Goodnight. See you at Breakfast!” T. Knife ran off again. 

Neither of them said 'goodnight’ to each other. Strawberry J walked slowly towards the refrigerator, silently begging someone to open the door so she didn't have to shout.Cocoa trudged into his high up kitchen cabinet, next to the Cereals', and stayed far, not saying a word.

Morning came, and by seven thirty the kitchen was busy again. Cereals, Bowls, Spoons, Milk, Teas, Jams; every family was up and preparing themselves for Breakfast. Boss had a big family, so at least ten of them got chosen each morning. It was a daily event that made the Corns pop. Excitement filled the kitchen, from all the Breakfast items. 

All except for Cocoa Bread and Strawberry Jam, who sat patiently, carrying long, lonely faces.

Boss soon waltzed in, humming a morning song titled Rise and Shine’, he was really cheery.

They all held their calories and nutrition facts in anticipation.

He opened the tall, white refrigerator, reached in and took out Strawberry J, then closed it and turned the other way. Cocoa was confused, his cabinet was in the opposite direction.

Everyone in their gs, mgs, liters, , mls, and cls watched as Boss reached into the Cellar and pulled White Bread out.

“Hon, I’m kinda workin' on a diet, just read yesterday that cocoa bread gat loads of calories. Turns out white bread’s a lot healthier.” Boss laughed.







August 23, 2020 12:14

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62 comments

Maya W.
12:37 Aug 23, 2020

Omg, I loved this so much! It made me laugh. Not much writing does that! Would you mind checking out my newest story, The Bridge, the Sky, and the Sea? Thanks!

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13:09 Aug 23, 2020

Thanks!!!🐒🐒🐒😹 I'm SO glad you loved it!!!! And of course! I intended on reading your stories since but time 😬. Eek! Ill get there as soon as POSSIBLE!

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Maya W.
13:11 Aug 23, 2020

Okay, thanks!

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13:13 Aug 23, 2020

😀

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Alwyn McNamara
23:51 Aug 29, 2020

Loved this! Really stands out from the other stories I have read in this category and was very funny. Well done 👏👏👏

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23:55 Aug 29, 2020

Thanks!!!😁😁 So glad you liked it!!!!!😁😁😁😋

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Avery G.
03:07 Aug 28, 2020

Wow! This was another amazing story! It was really funny!!! Great job!

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23:27 Aug 28, 2020

Thank you Avery!! Glad you liked it!

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Avery G.
02:02 Aug 29, 2020

You're welcome!!

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02:26 Aug 29, 2020

:)

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Doubra Akika
13:31 Aug 23, 2020

Chi Chi!!! Another amazing story! I loved the concept so much 😂. I laughed at the cheating part. The whole situation just seemed really comical. The ending suited the whole thing and I think you did an amazing job with this! Hope you’re staying safe!

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13:43 Aug 23, 2020

Thank YOUUUUU!!!!😂😂. I don't know, I just have this unusual take on comical stories since "Strange Inmate"😂 I'm SO glad you liked it!😋 And about staying safe, I'm not sure you remember how your country is🤣🤣🤣 Anyways, make sure to notify me whenever you've got a new story!!!! I won't hesitate to comment💃💃 Besides, I need a nickname for you. . .

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Doubra Akika
13:46 Aug 23, 2020

It was amazing! Yeah, this country really is something else😂😂. I wrote one yesterday actually. I love your comments. They make my day! Ah, a nickname. I’ve got a lot of horrible ones 😂.

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13:47 Aug 23, 2020

Lovely! I'll go check it out as soon as POSSIBLE! Horrible nicknames will do just fine now won't they?😎

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Doubra Akika
14:08 Aug 23, 2020

😂😂I have wayyy too many. One more wouldn’t hurt. And thanks! Will look out for your comment!

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15:39 Aug 23, 2020

First one: Wait for it...... DOUB.

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20:38 Aug 23, 2020

Hey DOUB, have you read my tecent, "Strange Inmate 2" ? Yeah, it's a continuation of the first part, would LOVE if you read it!

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Doubra Akika
20:56 Aug 23, 2020

I’ll read it right away!

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21:01 Aug 23, 2020

:D

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👍👍👍

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13:09 Aug 23, 2020

🙃🙃

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Amy DeMatt
18:35 Sep 03, 2020

Hahaha!! Who knew? I got such a kick out of this romp! What a creative, funny, original idea for a story! Keep up the creativity and risk-taking in writing. Good work!

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21:31 Sep 03, 2020

THANK YOU!!!!!!😭😭😭😘

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🄼🄹 🅂
04:30 Aug 30, 2020

This was hilarious, you are such an great writer!

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06:28 Aug 30, 2020

THANK YOU!!!!!

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👏👏👏

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21:11 Aug 29, 2020

😙Thanks Aerinnnnn!!! :D Your wordless approval is MUCH appreciated!🙃

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Haha! That’s what happens when I’m too lazy to write a response ;) But awesome story!

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21:33 Aug 29, 2020

Haha😂😂 I get it Thanks anyways!!!!!!

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Karen Kinley
18:10 Aug 29, 2020

Very amusing story!

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21:10 Aug 29, 2020

Thanks Karen!!!! :D

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Deborah Angevin
22:03 Aug 28, 2020

Ooh, I love this! The story is unique and funny! Great job, Chimamaka! P.S: would you mind checking my recent story out, "The Purple Sash"? Thank you :D

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23:34 Aug 28, 2020

Thanks Deborah! Of course I'll check out your story! :D

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Charles Stucker
22:04 Aug 23, 2020

"He felt his lower body toast." Is 'he' cocoa bread? "cocoa bread gat loads of calories" perhaps- cocoa bread has got loads of calories. Might even use cocoa bread has loads of calories. This was a very humorous take on breakfast foods. Several good bits of wordplay made it a delight to read. Everything was really good, one might even say delicious.

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22:07 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you!!😊 I'm glad you liked it! And yes, 'he' is Cocoa Bread. Thanks for reading!

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19:52 Aug 23, 2020

This is my favorite piece that you’ve written. I smiled all the way through! Who knew breakfast was so randy!! You are amazing! Greatest line ever written: “Oh my dough,” he buried his face in his hands, then he felt a soft touch on his crust. You would really like Jonathan Blaauw — another author on Reedsy. Very funny. Too smart. He’s from South Africa — so I’m definitely moving.

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19:57 Aug 23, 2020

THANK YOUUUUU!!!! I love that you liked this! 😋😋😋 Ohhhh, and I'll check him out, I love good laughs and light-hearted reads (That's why I LOVE your stories Dei!❤️) And ooooookayyy,😂😂how about stopping by Nigeria for vacation, maybe I could finally meet Cool Mom Dei😎😎😎

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20:01 Aug 23, 2020

Motherland here I come! 🦒 🐘 🐅

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20:35 Aug 23, 2020

😂😂😂 We see you👀

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19:53 Aug 23, 2020

Capitalize Strawberry J and names all the way through 🍓

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20:35 Aug 23, 2020

Noted!

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Amany Sayed
18:33 Aug 23, 2020

I was holding back a laugh throughout this whole story.😂😂😂 Really enjoyed it! Great job K! On to your next one :) ~Armani

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18:40 Aug 23, 2020

Thanks!!! I'm glad you enjoyed it Armani!!!!😋

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Amany Sayed
18:43 Aug 23, 2020

No problem!

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Tvisha Yerra
18:17 Aug 23, 2020

So funny! 🤣 Love that you slipped in the samosa part!

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18:19 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you you!!!!! 😋😂 I'm so glad you liked it!!!

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Jesna Anna S.
13:52 Aug 23, 2020

Chimamaka, that was a very fruity and bready story. Very interesting and thougtful. Keep writing!

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15:38 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you! Glad you liked it

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