Brown Eyes

The ends justify the means, right? I mean, that’s what they say so it’s got to be true, right? So this should make me feel better, right? It’s for the best, right?

So why does this still make me want to skin myself?

“You know it has to be done,” Crystal says. She tries to sound firm and convinced as she hands me the charmed necklace but her trembling hands and Aiden’s grim expression give it away: they know as well as I do that this is wrong.

“Kye would hate this,” I whisper, glancing at the heavy closed door leading downstairs where Kye sits locked in the tiny basement. But I need to remind myself it’s not really Kye – it’s some ancient monster possessing his body.

As if reading my mind, Aiden places a gentle hand on my shoulder. “He would hate even more if we left him like this.”

“I know,” I steel myself, clutching the necklace in my fist. The silver chain is dainty but it may as well be a shackle around Kye’s neck. Crystal had modified the amber pendant in some way to put the monster invading him to sleep for a while – I don’t know how, maybe she dipped it in holy water or garlic or some other witch-y thing. The charm will act like a compulsion spell: it will put the evil spirit to sleep, but it will also put Kye to sleep in a way, put him in a drugged-up state devoid of all emotion and personality.

I can’t stand thinking of the man I love that way.

But it needs to be done. Kye is a danger to others – and to himself – if the monster stays awake inside him. I remind myself that it’s only temporary, that soon we’ll find a spell or a potion to break the possession and get him off this charm and he’s going to be Kye again.

“You sure this will work?” I gaze wearily at Crystal. I’d feel a lot more convinced if she didn’t hesitate before she nodded. “What aren’t you telling me?”

She casts a reluctant look at Aiden, who bites his lip. “It’s possible,” she says slowly, “that the effects of the charm might be, permanent.”

“What?” my jaw drops. “No way. No. Way.”

“I’m not certain,” she rushes to explain. “The charm affects ancient magic. It’s supposed to target only dark magic, but since Kye’s magic is derived from his bloodline going back centuries, I don’t know how the charm will affect it, if it will see it as friendly or foe. It might strip him of all magic in the meantime.”

“But he would still be Kye, right? Even without magic, it would still be him.”

“I know it seems easy to think that,” Crystal says softly, “but from what I know about this – and you know I know a lot – it’s that people born with magic find it hard to adjust if it’s taken from them so suddenly. Kye: he might not be the same.”

I stare at the charm as if it were a vial of poison I’m about to shove down Kye’s throat. “I can’t do this to him. We have to come up with another way.”

Aiden’s gaze softens. “We will,” he whispers. “But not yet, Rose, it’s going to take time. Which is something Kye doesn’t have as long as that beast is awake inside him. We’ll be no help to him if the monster ends up destroying him while we’re trying to come up with a way to help him.”

I stay silent for a moment. “There’s no other way?” I eventually ask.

Their somber expressions are answer enough.

“Okay,” I agree, my stomach churning violently. “Okay.”

“If you want-” Aiden starts to offer but I shake my head firmly.

“I’ll do it. It has to be me.”

“You must do it fast. He’ll try to fight you at first sight of the charm,” Crystal warns.

“I know.”

“Rose,” Aiden pulls my arms and spins me around to face the two of them. “He won’t recognize you. He won’t recognize you, he won’t love you – not in this state. He may even, hurt you.”

I straighten my shoulders. “I need to do this.”

They probably don’t agree but don’t argue with me either.

Pushing the basement door open, I’m expecting Kye to charge me and try to escape right away, but it’s unnervingly still and silent downstairs. Lit only by a single dim lightbulb, I can’t see him, and the only thing I hear is Kye’s low growl humming in the small room. I take a deep breath, again reminding myself that his voice is lighter and more musical than that: it’s not him.

Tentatively, I take a step forward and immediately get tackled to the cold concrete, and I cry out in horror and pain, my head smacking against the floor and making me see spots for a second. Kye hovers over me, pinning my arms down and I can’t believe I managed to hold on to the necklace, still clenched in my palm.

I don’t want to look at him, I don’t want to look at him, I don’t – God, his eyes. Those beautiful, sweet, warm caramel brown eyes that melt me every time he gazes at me – they are bright red now, vampiric, demonic. They aren’t his eyes. I knew this coming down here but seeing them again makes me draw in a sharp breath.

“Kye…”

Aside from the eyes, his usually sleek hair is a mess, the sleeve of his shirt is torn, and a slight bruise blooms across his cheek from fighting Aiden earlier. The usual soft strength in him is gone, replaced with a rigid ruthlessness to his features as a cruel smirk unfolds on his face.

“You’re back,” he all but hisses and I swallow hard.

“I would never leave you,” I whisper and he laughs. I try not to wince.

“Because you’re pretty, I’ll give you one chance to leave now,” Kye – the monster in Kye’s body – shifts over me, the pressure of his weight easing up, and I take the chance to scramble up on my knees, squirming out from under him.

“Not gonna happen.”

“Then you’re not as smart as I thought you were, which is a shame, because I thought you were better than this.”

“You are better than this.”

“Darling, you have no idea what I am,” he brushes my cheek roughly and I flinch back.

“You’re a parasite,” I say shakily. “You’re a monster, a demon that’s taken over Kye’s body. You’re not him. You’re in his skin but you’re not in his heart.”

“How are you so sure about that? How do you know I haven’t been inside all along? How do you know this isn’t really the man you’ve been holding, kissing, sleeping with?”

His piercing red gaze and oily voice make my skin crawl as I remember the gentle way Kye’s hands glided over me, and I shudder, scared I’ll never get that feeling again.

He’s getting to me – it’s what I knew he would try to do. I take a steadying breath, grounding myself with the charm like Crystal taught me and turn to him again.

“Prove it,” I challenge, staring straight into those creepy red eyes and wrapping my arms around him. The gesture has no warmth in it, no comfort, just pure determination to get this necklace on him, as I slip my hands around his neck. He moves into my touch, and I marvel for the moment at how easy this turned out to be, that I found his weakness.

Kye rips my hands away so fast, twisting my wrists behind my back that I yelp out in pain and drop the necklace as he slams me against the wall.

“You may be stupid, darling, but I’m not,” he whispers so close to my ear that his breath rustles my hair. “You think I don’t know what you’re doing?”

With my hands still clamped, he bends down and picks up the necklace by the chain, steering clear of the glowing amber pendant.

“No!” I cry as he whips it clear across the room, the soft glow like a beacon where it lands in a dark corner.

“Fool,” he jeers. “I can’t believe he loves you.”

Though they hurt, those words give me hope. He said he. He, not I. Kye is somewhere in there, he’s fighting to get out, and he loves me. The feeling swells in me, expanding in my chest that it’s like my heart is about to explode, and a sudden burst of energy that comes from that lovely knowledge that he’s in there trying to get to me tears me away from the wall and out of his grip.

I spin around so fast I can barely believe it and plant a foot into his back like I’ve seen Aiden kickbox. I don’t want to hurt him – the monster wouldn’t hesitate to hurt me but it’s still Kye’s body – and I kick him just hard enough to make him stumble, letting me dash out for the necklace.

He catches me an arm’s reach away from the chain, and I land hard on my stomach as he brings me down. The wind is knocked out of me as I struggle to flip over, but he presses down on my shoulder blades, keeping me faceplanted into the dusty floor.

“You dare think you can fight me?” Kye laughs incredulously.

Desperately, I try swiping at him, the floor, anything I can reach, eventually crawling forward the inch I need to clip the necklace with my fingertips, and I fling it at him. The enchanted pendant hits him in the face and he reels back, shrieking in pain at the charm touching his skin.

Hearing his agonized scream makes my heart stumble but I remind myself it’s the monster warded off by the enchantment – not Kye – and I take advantage of his distraction, darting to my feet and picking up the necklace again.

Kye recovers quickly and rams his elbow into my stomach. I double over but don’t let go of the charm, even as he swipes the legs out from under me. Even under the monster’s stronger, faster influence, he still moves with a clumsy grace that is uniquely his, again making me hesitate to fight back until he tosses me as if I weighed nothing at all against the other wall. My body smacks against the bricks, a sharp ache coursing all over me, and I slump down, spent. He stalks toward me, looking so much like a feral predator and not my sweetheart that I go wild – kicking out at him clumsily, pounding futilely at his chest, all the despair, the frustration, the panic, the love building up in me.

“This isn’t you! Kye, this isn’t you! Please, I know you’re in there! Kye! You can’t do this to me! You can’t leave me like this!”

I don’t know how it happened – I think he tripped on one of the crates stored in the basement because no way would I have the strength to do it – but suddenly he goes down, and through the strands of hair falling into his face, he peers up at me with… brown eyes.

I freeze.

“Rose?” his broken voice whispers, his soft features drawn in horror and pain and I can see him fighting the internal battle, eyes pinched but – oh God, they are the sweet caramel they should be again.

At least for a moment, because I can see the diabolical red start to seep into his eyes again as tears streak down his cheeks.

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Rose, I love you, I love you so much, forever, no matter what, Rose, I love you, I-”

An inhuman scream rips from his throat as he writhes in torment.

“Kye? Kye!” I press a palm to his cheek as his muscles twist in anguish. When he opens his eyes, they are fully red again but when he squeezes my hand, it’s still his touch.

“Do it,” he tells me – begs me, really, in the last seconds he has control of his body. “Do it, Rose. I know what that charm does and you need to do it, it’s okay.”

I cup his face in my hands and kiss him hard, quick and fierce, before his face contorts into something evil again, and I don’t waste a second, clasping the charm around his neck.

The monster or Kye – I don’t know which one gets hurt more – lets out a howl, and I spring back as he starts thrashing violently. When I think he can’t take it anymore, he goes deathly still.

Everything seems to go still for me as I look at his crumpled form on the floor.

“Kye?” I take a tentative step towards him, dread coiling in my stomach. “Kye? Kye?”

He stirs and I’m immediately at his side, kneeling beside him. His skin is pale and clammy as I press a hand to his forehead, trailing down to his chest, over his heart where he breathes raggedly.

“Kye,” I whisper breathlessly, pressing an overcome kiss like a sigh of relief to his cheek. “Open your eyes, Kye, let me see your eyes.”

His dense lashes flutter and after a couple attempts, his eyes peek open – I nearly spring across to the other side of the room.

They are the same amber color as the glowing pendant of his necklace, a sign of Crystal’s spell working. I should be happy for that – in some way, I am happy because that means the monster has been temporarily put to sleep. But so has every part of Kye that I love. What’s sitting here in front of me is an empty shell.

“Kye?”

He looks at me blankly, as if he doesn’t recognize his own name, doesn’t even recognize the word – let alone me – and my chest tightens.

“Do you know who you are?” I reach for his hand but he scuttles back, knees tucked to his chest and eyes wide. He shakes his head.

I can’t do this. Crystal will know what to do next, but this is not Kye and I can barely stomach the fact that I did this to him. The monster invaded him, but it was me who hung the chain around his neck.

Swallowing hard, I rise to my feet.

“Can you walk?” I ask him gently, and he slowly gets up. “We need to go upstairs. Can you do that?”

He nods and walks as if in a trance towards the door, and I stare after him with a heavy feeling in my heart.

Upstairs, I lead a very subdued Kye to Crystal and Aiden. When they see him, they try to put on brave smiles – but I can see the split-second of shock and regret flashing across their faces.

It doesn’t matter if we did this for the right reason – it was still something wrong we will never forgive ourselves for.