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Kids Funny

NOTE:

This is not a story.

A story is a collection of words and phrases that come from a certain part of your brain called an imaginationthough it seems not everyone has an imaginationTake Mr Whitfield for example; he is a mean and bossy maths teacher who NEVER laughs, and therefore has no imagination.

A story needs imagination to be a story, but this is not a story.

To be clear, everything mentioned in this collection of words and phrases is true.

Just as true as seeing fairy in your garden when you were younger, or seeing a ghost stalking through your living room at night.

So, the things mentioned here in this story which is not a story, are real happenings, which are also known as an experience. And to have an experience, you need to have memories, and memories are almost always accurate. 

Almost.

So if there is a memory here that is not true, then it is a false memory, and you must ignore any false memories that are written here.

Just to clarify, a false memory is a memory which is not true, and is therefore part of the imagination, which is only used for writing stories.

But once again, this is not a story, so no traces of imagination should be found unless it is a false memory, which is also not allowed in a story which is not a story, like this one.

So, as you read the tragedies written in this article, as we’ll call it, you must keep this one thing I mind:

THIS IS NOT A STORY!!

…………………………………………….


It began one night.

I heard the screams of the children, the broken songs of the swallows. The start of a time nobody saw coming.

I woke that night in a pool of my own sweat. The crescent moon arched over me with a seemingly sinister grin. That’s when I knew something was up. You see, the moon and I were friends. I’d had my doubts about him… but really, he was fine. Generally, looking up I would see him staring back at me a flashing me a toothless grin. Why do people say the moon is made of cheese? I don’t think cheese can smile, do you? As I was staring at my old friend the Moon, I got out of bed and placed my sweaty feet on the cold wooden floor. The coldness washed over me like a tide. It was as if tiny icicles were slowly creeping up my legs, my spine. Now all that remained was my wishful thinking, and of course my hungry stomach. My stomach growled at me and I growled back, in a somewhat louder fashion. I kept my eyes fixed to the door in front of me and slowly tiptoed towards it. My phone bleeped in my pyjama pocket and I felt around for the button to silence it. Footsteps echoed in the corridor and I stood quite literally frozen to the spot, unmoving. The door swung open and I picked my feet up just in time to stop them from being caught under the door. While I’d like to say it was something exiting like a fairy, or even better… a ghost, I must sadly inform you that it was neither of these. 

It was my mum, in other words. 

“Tom,” she whispered, “Thomas.” 

“Yes Mum, it’s me,” I replied. 

“Oh, so you’re awake are you?” 

I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, so are you.” I could just imagine Mum rolling her eyes too. “Enough Tom! Be sensible for once! Listen, there’s this new virus out there, and-” 

I jumped in, “You mean the one that someone caught over in that weird place where everyone wears tuxedos?” I could hear my Mum groan in the dark. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Tom, but yes, it was the virus that someone caught over in China.” 

I breathed in, rather loudly. “And what does this virus from the land of tuxedos have to do with us?” I asked impatiently. I could sense Mum was losing her patience too. 

“Tom, someone in Wellington has the virus too now, and that’s only a few hours away. The government’s put us all in quarantine.” Quarantine! But that’s like… prison! But in your own home- I think? “Well, at least I’ll finally have something to share for news tomorrow at school,” I said. 

“Tom! That’s the point! Quarantine, in other words is lockdown. Lockdown Tom! Do I have to spell it out for you? L-O-C-K-D-O-W-N. You can’t go to school tomorrow.” 

I arched my eyebrows in surprise. Mum always insisted I went to school, even if I was unwell. “But what will I tell Charlie, Mum? I always walk to school with him!” 

“Charlie?” 

I nodded, even though Mum couldn’t see me. 

“Yes Mum, Charlie, the ‘kid-who-lives-next-door?’” That was what Mum referred to Charlie as; ‘the-kid-who lives-next-door.’ 

“Charlie won’t be going to school either Tom. Everybody is in lockdown.” I still had so many questions. “But Mum, what about-” 

“Enough Tom! Just… I don’t know, go back to bed.” 

“But-” 

“Now Tom!” 

I sulked off back to bed, slamming the door behind me. Through my window I could just make up the evil grin on Mr. Moon’s face behind the clouds.

………………………………………………………………………….


So, you know that this is not a story, but what you don’t know is what will come next. What will come next is a term for what will happen in the next part of a story, or in this case, not a story because once again, this is not a storyAnd in the ‘what-will-come-next-moment’ in this story, which is not a story, is as follows…

………………………………………………………………………….


For the second time that night I awoke in a puddle of sweat. The moon was covered by the clouds, but I could still see a vivid recollection of his sinister grin in my mind. I’d been dreaming about school, or more specifically, not going to school. You see, I’d never actually been a fan of school, but for some reason I had the overwhelming desire to go to school. 

So;

Yes, we were all in lockdown,

Yes, we were in a ‘global pandemic’

Yes, we weren’t allowed anywhere

But yes, I was going to school.

I aroused myself and quickly but quietly pulled my school uniform over my head, pulled on some socks and shoes and tiptoed out the door, forgetting breakfast. 

I considered waking Charlie, but then I thought the better of it. He wouldn’t want to be woken up at 5:30am in the morning, and he wouldn’t want to go to school with me either. 

Alone, I wandered down the narrow street, keeping to the shadows so nobody would see me. I caught a few curious glances of people looking from their bedroom windows, and I had second thoughts about the uniform. 

“Help, help!” a voice screamed from around the corner. I hesitated before peeking my head around to see what the matter was. A little girl, about the age of five or six was lying on the ground with blood splattered around her. I shrunk further back into the shadows. “Help!” she called again. I was unsure what to do; helping this girl would cost me a day of school. 

I decided to help the girl… kind of. I lifted her up and put her on a nearby doorstep and then went off again. ‘She’ll be fine, ' I thought to myself as I continued on my journey. About two streets from school, I heard another cry; It was the sound of a baby wailing. I sighed and once again placed the crying child on a nearby doorstep and went off again. 

School was now just across the road, but still another cry stopped me in my tracks. “Tom!” The voice called. “Thomas!”

I froze. Like before, I wish I was able to say it was a fairy or a ghost, but alas it was not.

It was my mum.

“Thomas! There you are!” she called to me. I smiled meekly. “You know you can’t go to school Tom! Now be a good boy and come home. “Yes Mum.” I said and followed her back down the street. The little girl and the baby watched me as I walked home, my head hung in shame. 

Well, that wasn’t much of an adventure I guess, but it was still enough to put me off coming to school when it did finally open. 

I never could forget the girl and the baby, and now every time I think of school, I think of them too.

………………………………………………


Well, that’s the story which is not a story, and though there are more things that happened after this event, it would take too much time to say them here, especially as all the fairies and ghosts would have to be described very accurately for you to believe they were real. 

But all I can say for now is, enjoy school while you can folk, because it is one thing that is not a story.

March 12, 2021 22:19

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28 comments

11:21 Mar 23, 2021

I love this! The introduction was perfect! I love how you kept the theme of “not a story” throughout. Your descriptions were very detailed and the diction in this story is very good as well! :) I’m also a younger writer, and I totally relate to your bio- I love reading romance, but cannot write one to save my life (not that I can imagine a scenario where I would need to write a romance to save my life, but you know what I mean...) I mostly just write fantasies.

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Arwen Dove
21:45 Mar 23, 2021

Yeah. I should write a story where romance saves the day :)

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22:00 Mar 23, 2021

That would be awesome!! You should totally do that! I actually have a lot of ideas for romance stories, but it's the writing part that makes it hard. So lol, if you need ideas... ;) And, I reread your bio, and I also like singing! Are there any songs in particular you like?

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Arwen Dove
23:27 Mar 24, 2021

Ahhh... Just songs from Musical Theatre and movies really. (I do Musical Theatre.)

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23:43 Mar 24, 2021

I wish I had enough courage to do Musical Theatre... I'm just too shy and self-conscious to sing in public/in front of those I don't know. I admire those who can, because there is no way I could. Tried it once and I thought I would die (spoiler: I didn't. But it felt like I would). I didn't even have a singing part lol, just like a 30 second monologue... My favorite ones to sing are usually from a musical or Disney (especially the Spanish version of the songs!) and Julie and the Phantoms. I also like Taylor Swift, Jeremy Shada, and Carrie U...

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Arwen Dove
03:47 Mar 25, 2021

Um, I mean I need critique on like, everything;) Carrie Underwood used to go to my church. :) She left before I met her though :( I love her songs too, especially the one she sang for Narnia. 'There's a place out there for us.'

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Arwen Dove
03:48 Mar 25, 2021

Also, yes, ideas would be appreciated!

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Michael Boquet
17:02 Mar 19, 2021

I love the opening. It's so contemporary and almost creepy in it's repetition. I liked the lines about the moon. I found the parts about the girl and the baby confusing though. I do have to ask, who calls China the land of tuxedos? Odd but interesting turn of phrase.

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Arwen Dove
20:51 Mar 19, 2021

Thanks for the comment! I don't think anyone calls China the land of tuxedos, only my character. What about the girl and the baby did you find confusing?

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Michael Boquet
21:33 Mar 19, 2021

They just sort of come out of nowhere and don't connect to the rest of the story. No explanation is given for why the baby is alone or why the girl is covered in blood. Then he sets them on seemingly separate doorsteps, but they're together looking at him when he closes his front door.

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Arwen Dove
22:04 Mar 19, 2021

Oh... Yeah. I was going to go into the girl and the baby a bit more, but the entries were closing and I was going out for the rest of the day. Thanks for your feedback, I'll try to come up with backstories for my characters.

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Michael Boquet
22:10 Mar 19, 2021

Sure, I understand. I expected the kid to tell his mom about the girl and the baby. Then she would say, "what an imagination" and the kid would respond "it's not a story, mom."

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Arwen Dove
05:57 Mar 20, 2021

Yeah, I should've done that! Thanks again for the feedback!

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Mary Burns
22:32 Mar 18, 2021

Very clever! But I think you wrote an actual story. It seems to me that you used your imagination!

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Arwen Dove
05:00 Mar 19, 2021

Thanks so much! Yes, well the 'story' does contain 'false memories' and 'imagination,' so I guess the Story that is Not a Story, really is a story! ;)

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Daniel R. Hayes
18:25 Mar 16, 2021

Hi Arwen, you did a great job writing this story. I really enjoyed it, and I like how you describe it's a story but not a story. I also see an improvement in your writing, so you should be proud about this. Sorry it took so long to read this, it's been a busy few days. I see your followers have grown. Your almost to your goal :) Keep up the great work!

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Arwen Dove
23:42 Mar 16, 2021

:)

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Angel {Readsy}
22:03 Apr 17, 2021

I am only at the title which is so absorbing, amusing ,appealing,brilliant, eloquent and engaging, It will take me million years ahead to read the rest of the story, only title brings all the dew drops, rainbow and manifesting butterflies

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Angel {Readsy}
21:57 Apr 17, 2021

Story which is not a story, wow, send me your writing pen, I want to see which ink you are using to write such a superb title ,

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Ed .
01:28 Apr 21, 2021

HA ha ha ha ha. I really loved the start then really enjoyed it all through the story. A story which is not a story! I liked the ideas of false memories

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Angel {Readsy}
04:50 Apr 21, 2021

I thought you comment at my story yellow! Mother oak tree

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Angel {Readsy}
04:51 Apr 21, 2021

I thought you comment at my story, hellow! Mother oak tree

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Angel {Readsy}
04:55 Apr 21, 2021

Someone on planet readsy has written one genius story,,,,,,,I have written two ,,,,,,,,,,,

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22:03 Apr 30, 2021

Great story! Enjoyed reading it. “The story which is not a story” is really funny. Well done. 👍

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Arwen Dove
02:02 May 01, 2021

:) Thank you!

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02:01 May 02, 2021

:)

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