Bird Watching

My sister was cleaning our mother's house because we both decided to sell it. Mom was a crotchety type and wouldn't like our selling her house, but she would reluctantly understand if she was alive. This operation was supposed to be smooth, the real estate agent was showing the house to prospective buyers nearly every day. Karen, my sister, drove to my house on Christmas Eve, saying she had something for me. I didn't like the sound of that. Knowing Karen, something was probably a task; a task for me.

Karen hated her name because of it's association with middle-aged women who make solutions to other people's problems an inconvenience to the Karen even though she isn't remotely affected by them. That was another thing she blamed our mother for. Why couldn't she have a name like mine, Michael? The name Michael means "who could possibly be as great as God?". I had to admit I would rather be Michael than a Karen.

Karen called me as she pulled up in the driveway in her Honda CR-V. I answered the phone and told her to just come in: the front door was open. She entered the living room with what seemed to be a cage with a white blanket on top of it.

"This is for you" she said.

"What the hell is that?" I said.

"It's a lovebird" she said, as she tore the blanket from the cage and tossed it on the floor.

A lovebird is is the common name for the genus Agapornis, a small group of parrots in the Old World parrot family Psittaculidae. Of the nine species in the genus, eight are native to the African continent, with the grey-headed lovebird being native to Madagascar. This bird was short and stocky, like myself, and mostly green. The bird was looking straight at me.

"Apparently this was mom's friend, she never told us about it" Karen said.

"What do you want me to do with that?" I asked.

"What do you think Michael? Watch over the damn thing" she said.

I knew it. It was something. It was a task.

"Just keep her for the holidays, and I'll pick her up later" Karen said.

"When's later?" I said insistently.

"Would you stop being such a little baby? When the house gets sold probably; people are in buying moods during the holidays, you know that" Karen said.

Oh, she's good. That was a good one.

I exhaled several breaths in one and said I would watch over the bird for the sake of family memory.

"What did Diogenes the Cynic say? What are humans but featherless bipeds?" Karen said. How coy.

"Nobody listens to those guys" I said as I set the cage down on my table.

"But I am a cynic" I said, as Karen walked out of the house after telling me about the number of people interested in the house.

I stared at the bird for a moment.

"So it's just us chickens" I said to the bird.

"Call me Walter" the bird said.

I chuckled. Mom taught the bird some basic phrases.

"Well, Walter, how are you today?" I asked.

"I'm quite fine, yourself?" Walter said.

Hmm. Uncanny.

"Well you see Walter, I have to watch over you and feed you now, so you don't pluck your feathers" I said.

"I've already done that" Walter said.

I'm having what seems to be a fluent conversation with a parrot.

"After Lydia died, I lost my best friend. She even cooked for me. We watched TV together. I beat her in chess a couple of times. But when she had her stroke I couldn't take the thought of being alone. I started plucking. The pain was immense but nothing compared to how I felt inside. I'm glad I'm with you, Michael. She spoke so highly of you. Not your sister, however, Lydia always said Karen's a scavenger and..well..a Karen" Walter said.

The bird flew to another side of the cage as I digested it's delivery of a full paragraph.

"Don't beat yourself up, you were a good son and did the best you could" Walter said.

"What the hell do you know Walter? About my relationship with my family or the general dynamic?" I shouted.

"I only know what Lydia told me" Walter said. He flew to his water bottle, he must have been parched from all the conversation.

"So, let me ask you Walter, as I'm sure this conversation is happening because I ran out of vodka earlier. Why didn't she tell us about you?" I asked.

"Lydia and I had a special relationship, not fit to be exposed to the worlds of others" Walter said.

I was dumbfounded.

"So what's your purpose now? Other than flying around and defecating in your cage?" I asked.

"I see two options" Walter said.

"Either release me back home, or keep me here to be your friend" he said.

I could not take this for several more days. But I had to watch over the bird. It was the only thing Karen asked me to do, and I was more afraid of her chastising than this loquacious parrot.

"You're staying here, I'm not sure if we can be friends, but you're staying" I said to Walter.

"Do you want to know exactly what Lydia said about you?" Walter said.

I couldn't resist. I was never that close to my mother, but I had to know.

"Tell me" I said.

"Merry Christmas, by the way" Walter said.

Walter went on and on. It was a monologue. I stopped him.

"Walter, I don't know how to take care of you" I said.

"Well, can't you learn?" Walter said.

"I've never cared for anybody in my entire life. It's always been just me. I don't know what Karen was thinking" I said.

"She couldn't either" Walter said.

"I mean, do I get you a mate or something?" I said.

"My mate is dead, Michael" Walter said.

"I don't know what to do with you, but you've done a lot with me. And I'm really willing to learn. If you just instruct me on what to do, I'll try my best" I said.

"Got any vodka? Just kidding" Walter said.