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Fantasy Adventure Funny

Did you hear that? Oh, I did not see you come in. Allow me to introduce myself. Hello, I am Julminris the Keeper and welcome to my secret reading nook. Now what is your name, it is only polite after all. Mmmhn that is a lovely name, where did you get it? Well you came all this way would you like some tea: I have black, green, white, gray, yellow, and rainbow, unfortunately, I am all out of red. Excellent choose! Would you like cream or sugar or stardust? Excellent that is just how I like my tea as well. So what brings you to my corner of the realms? Oh, I see you want some stories well you've come to the right place.

I have loads of stories! Where to start? Let me see here. No. Not today. Oh, that is definitely not for good company. I read that this morning. This one, wait no Julius “borrowed” this one last week and I have not had the chance to “purify” it yet, seriously why did he put a cacodemon in here? Oh here we go this one is perfect: Stories of Night. This is an endless collection of scary short stories from across the reams that have happened, are yet to happen, and are happening at this very second; it is quite a page-turner. How much time do you have? Seven! Superb! That is just enough time to tell six stories. Let us get started we have no time to waste.

This story is about a sea fairing group known as the Moon Swallow Pirates it is titled No Ghosts but There is a Skeleton:

It is a normal day on the Adventures’ Lightning, well as normal as it can be considering that this is the Moon Swallow’s ship that they got less than two weeks before. Everyone is doing their average daily routines: Luna, Walt, Saul, and Arthur are fishing with Stubbie sleeping nearby; Cray and Pen are training; Edith is reading about ancient civilization; Jesse is smoking a cigar; Louisa is cleaning her crossbow in the kitchen while James cooks lunch for the crew; Ash navigating while Zander steers the ship on the wheel deck.

Luna yawns, “Sooooo bored! Nothing has happened in forever!”

Arthur looks around over at her. “We fought multiple krakens yesterday.”

“First off who is ‘we’ you did nothing but scream,” Pen states mid-pull up.

“Second all of them were babies,” Edith says, not looking up from her book.

“And third we weren’t allowed to kill them because somebody said it is illegal,” Cray explained while mocking Louisa.

“I HEARD THAT SONNY CRANE!” Louisa yells from the kitchen, “And for the last time krakens are an endangered species protected under the Statue of Protecting Rare Sea Monsters Act makin’ illegal!”

“We are pirates it is our job to break the law!” Cray yells back clearly annoyed that she used his full name.

“We might be criminals but we don’t cause pertinent irreversible damage to nature that’s the government’s job,” Walt adds.

Jesse tips his hat to him. “True that.”

“Ash, how long until we get to the next island? I want to go on an adventure,” Luna calls up still bored.

“With our current winds and waves, we’re still about five days out,” Ash answers putting her hand to the horizon.

“Ash, not to comment on your navigation ability or anything but-” Zander points toward the dark storm-like cloud mass they are approaching. “Shouldn’t we be avoiding those clouds, it looks like a storm.”

“That’s no storm and sadly we can’t avoid it,” Ash explains pulling out a map and pointing at a dark spot. “That’s the Gray Sea, a completely dark area of the Shattered Sea but we can’t go around without making a few weeks-long detour, and chaos storms are very frequent making it too dangerous. If we keep our current rate we should be in and out in two days.”

“I’ve read about it. Legends say ghosts of the unlucky travelers still wander the sea, looking for more souls to drag to watery graves,” Edith explains as the ships begin to be engulfed in darkness.

“Edith, what in nine hells!” Arthur exclaims, shaking. The whole ship is covered by darkness, with the only light coming from lanterns and Stubbie, who is still napping. James and Louisa join the others on deck.

James sketches his head, “So much for my picnic plan I am guessing we will all be eating in the galley till we get out of this.”

Luna picks up Stubbie and sketches behind his ears making him glow brighter. “James! When is the food ready.”

“It should be ready so-”

A massive old ship in disrepair passes with an eerie song being song aboard:

Hoist the sails… we're bound to roam

Wave goodbye… to our sweet home

Join the crew where… wild winds blow

Adventure calls… with waves that flow

“Did you hear that?” Saul quivers holding tight to Ash who is nodding.

“Do you think it’s the ghosts?” Arthur shakes hiding behind Luna.

“That looks awesome!” Luna exclaims excitedly. “I’m gonna go explore it! And maybe punch a ghost! Let’s go Stubbie!” 

Before she can jump over to the ghost ship Cray grabs her by the back of her shirt, “Nope you are not going by yourself because you will get lost and or try to bring something weird as hell back to the ship.”

“You’re one to talk about getting lost,” Luna protests. “And I can do what I want I am the captain.”

“Four other people have to go with you or you are not going. I mean it.” Cray put his foot down.

“Fine,” Luna says defeated.

“Alright everyone we’ll be drawing straws to see who’s going with Luna and the pig,” Cray explains. After everyone draws a straw, those who get to go are James, Ash, Jesse, and Pen. They hope in the rowboat, throw a grappling hook on the ghost ship, and climb up.

“I hate everything about this,” Ash says holding tight to Pen’s arm.

“Don’t worry I’ll protect you.” James offers Ash his hand, who promptly ignores him.

“Ash your nails are digging into my arm and I think you’re drawing blood,” Pen states trying to free her arm.

“Hey, ghost you here?” Luna yells while walking around the ship.

Jesse pulls out a cigar, “Anyone minds if I smoke?”

“Not at all, go right ahead,” a new voice from the shadows. Everyone turns to see a skeleton standing where the voice came from.

“GHOST!” James and Ash scream grabbing onto Pen and knocking her to the ground.

“Ghost! Where!?” the skeleton shouts looking behind him for the ‘ghost’.

 And that’s where that story ends. I know but there are other stories to read. Wait did you hear that? You know what how about we read our next story somewhere else. Come along now *snap*. This is a nice forest what do you think? You know it is very fitting for our next story

Our next story is about a team of heroes in the land of magic titled By the Campfire:

Jade and her friend camp in the middle of the Forest of Dreed. Jade and Gregory are sitting on guard trying not to fall asleep.

“How long until sunrise?” Gregory asks rumbling his eyes.

“Four ish hours,” Jade sighs.

“There has to be something that we can do to pass the time.”

“Like what.”

Gregory scratches his head. “We could talk.”

“About what?”

“Um,” he thinks. “How does your sword work?”

Jade summons her sword and looks it over, “I have no idea.”

“But you can summon it whenever you want it, don’t you know how that works?”

“I don’t get how any of it works at all. I just need to focus and will it.”

“So you just think it and it happens.”

“Not at all, thinking actually makes it work less.”

“So that’s why you don’t think ever.”

“Yep. My turn to ask a question: How did you get your ship?”

“Oh, I built.”

“Really?”

“Yeah it took many years but I made it and it was mine.” he sighs. “I miss my ship.”

“We all do man. We all do. Wait did you hear that?”

“Probably an owl wolf 

The two sit back talking to pass the time until sunrise while the others wake an hour after the conversation started because the two were laughing too hard.

That is the end of that story a short but fun one. Oh did you hear that? Let us head down here for our next story. This story takes place in a similar world to yours on a day known as Hallow’s Eve, with a band known as Band Night the title is: Night of the Rocking Dead

The band is getting ready for a party that they will be playing for in three hours. Ricky is trying to explain this holiday to their magic friends (an elf, dwarf, fairy, and corenain) while the rest of the band arrives in costume one by one.

“I think I get it but could you explain it again?” Ranoum asks for the fifth time that day.

“Today is a day where people dress up as monsters and other things to get candy,” Ricky explains adjusting his cap.

“And you are supposed to be a what exactly?” Silvyr asks readjusting his hat to cover his pointy ears.

Ricky put in fake fangs, “I am a vampire.”

“Ricky,” Isla pinches her temple. “We have fought vampires and none of them look like that.”

“I am dressed like Dracula, an old-school movie vamp.”

 “Sounds like a worthy foe, who is this Dracula and where can I fight him?” Ranoum braces his hammer.

Sundew put her hand on his shoulder, “Ranoum we’ve talked about this: movies are not real.”

The door opens and Angel in full witch attire carrying bags from a party store. “Who’s ready to get wicked?”

“Angel! Why are you dressed like a swamp hag?” Ranoum inquires loudly.

“I am a witch. Also Ricky you are rocking the Dracula look.”

“Thank you, Angel.”

“I see at least you look like the real thing. May I ask what is in the bag?” Silvyr asks.

“I got the four of you costume so you can enjoy the season,” she explains. “I hope I got all of your sizes right. 

“You got us costumes, thank you,” Sundew looks into one of the bags. “Which is mine.”

“This one is yours. Silvry. Ranoum. And Isla. I tried to get outfits that fit your different styles,” Angel explains.

“That is sweet Angel,” Isla states looking in her bag. “Mine comes with a weapon. This! Is! Awesome!”

Silvyr opens his, “Mine is very simplest, excellent.”

“Mine is armor!” Ranoum cheers.

“Mines oranger I love it!” Sundew exclaims.

“Go put them on so we can see,” Ricky says tuning his magic guitar.

The four head for the changing rooms, as Bee, Laundry, and Brick walk in, all in costume.

“Hey Bee nice skeleton look,” Ricky points finger guns.

“It was a skel-a-ton of work,” she laughs pointing back.

“Laundry is that a different keytar?” Angel asks him adjusting her hat.

He smirks, “A golden keytar for the devil.”

“Isn’t a golden fiddle?” Ricky jokes.

“I am the low-budget devil.”

“Also Brick why do you look like a previctorian ash-hole?” Ricky asking look his big friend up and down.

Brick readjusts his vest, “I thought mentioned that I was going to dress up as Frankenstein.”

Ricky and Angel exchange looks with each other and then Bee and Laundry who both are shaking their heads.

“Where’s the magic gang?” Laundry asks looking around.

“They are all putting on the costumes Angel got for them,” Ricky explains.

“How do I look?” Silvyr steps out wearing a blue shirt and black pants. “I also forgot to ask what I am supposed to be.”

“You are Spock,” Laundry says eyes lighting up with joy.

“I see who is Spock?”

“I thought you would never ask.” Laundry begins to explain Star Trek in depth to Silvyr who begins to take notes.

Sundew walks out in a pumpkin costume, “How scary am I?”

“Terrifying,” Bee giggles.

Ranoum loudly walks out in plastic knight armor, “I am thrilled with this. Also, I thought all of you were going to dress as monsters?”

“I am,” Brick begins.

“Not again,” Bee whispers under her breath.

“Dr. Victor Frankenstein is the true monster in his story…” Brick explains.

Bee pulled Ricky and Angel aside, “He wouldn’t stop talking about Frankenstein and Mary Shelley on the way over here. I think this is the most I have ever heard him speak.”

A dark hood figure steps into the room with a scythe.

“Hey Isla,” Angel waves over to her as she lets down her hood.

“Nice the Grim Reaper,” Ricky offers a high-five and gets ignored.

The door flies open as Ray (dressed like a surfer zombie) runs in panting, “Zombies are rising!”

“What!” Everyone at once.

“Zombies are rising from the dead and walking. I think I pulled a hip,” Ray explains grabbing his side.

“Like the actual undead, not like just people in real convincing costumes?” Ricky asks grabbing his guitar. Ray nods.

Isla pushes back her hood and summons her spear. “You bunch head to stage on the roof and do your thing, we’ll head out to find the one raising the dead, and Mr. Darts stay-”

“Stay out of the way after I set up the speakers. I know the drill with you kids at this point,” Ray finishes for her. “Stay safe got it.”

“Yes sir,” Laundry gives a thumbs up as the band heads to the roof. After quinky setting up the sound system Band Night stands ready to play.

“No time for a sound check people.” Ricky braces his guitar. “Everyone ready?”

“Time cross this off the bucket list,” Laundry jokes.

Bee twirls her drumsticks. “Let’s rock these guys so hard they die twice.”

Brick turns the sound up on his bass and gives a thumbs up.

“Do you hear that? That’s the sound of people ready for a show,” Angel says nodding.

“Let's do this. Take us away Angel,” Ricky taps his mic.

 Agel grabs her mic, “HELLO PARTY PEOPLE! DEAD AND UNDEAD OF ALL AGE! WE ARE BAND NIGHT AND WE’RE HERE TO ROCK-N-ROLL BACK TO YOUR GRAVES! Let's see who’s here today: We got Skele-Bee on drums *quick drum solo*, The Laundry Devil on keytar *quick keytar solo*, Dr. Bricktor Frankenstein on bass *quick bass guitar*, Rickcula on guitar *quick magic electric guitar solo* and I am the Wicked Witch of the South Angel leading vocals! Hit it!

Bee bangs her drumsticks and the music kicks off. Zombies below start, well, for lack of better words, rocking out. As the magic team fights the mage who started this mass, he is shocked that his undead army is too busy parting to help him. The average person has no clue that the dead rose that Hallow’s Eve, they just saw a big crowd in costume enjoying the show. By the end of the concert, the zombies all had just turned to dust.

And so ends that story. Did you hear that? Well, it looks like time is winding down let us move to the next story is a story following the O’Ceal family in a tail called Trick or More Tricks:

All the kids sit in their tree house after a night of trick or treat trading their treasure troves of candy.

“I’ll trade you two regular-size packs of M’n’M for your king-sized chocolate bar,” Hanna offers to Alvain.

“You got yourself a deal.” He hands over his chocolate bar without hesitation.

“Gross! Does anyone want these coconut chocolate bars?” Nicki asks pushing a bunch away from her as if it was toxic.

Nicholas made a face at her. “Just put those in the loser candy pile.”

“I’ll take them,” Nicole offers. “I like coconut.”

“Disgusting,” Rover says through a mouthful of candy apple.

Kraken bangs on the attention bucket. “Alright, people. Dad said that we could stay out here until we go inside. So I have a challenge-” he drops his massive bag of candy, “-whoever makes it to sunrise gets to keep the whole pot, and everyone that goes inside or falls asleep only gets the loser candy.”

Each of them greedily put their candy in the center of the treehouse.

“The rules are simple: you fall asleep or leave the backyard before sunrise you are out and forfeit your candy. Anything else is on the table,” Kraken explains passing in front of the room like an army general. “Any que-” Alvain starts snoring.

“How is he already asleep?” Rover pokes him.

“More candy for me.” Hanna takes a sip of water and then starts panting, “What how… Too…  hot.”

Kraken smirks, “Sorry, Hanna can’t handle the spice?”

“You… jerk!” Hanna sprints inside for milk cursing Kraken. One by one everyone either runs from the tree house or falls asleep until Kraken is the last one after he scares Nicki with a fake spider.

Kraken laughs, “Too easy! Two more hours and I win.” Then the lights go out. “Haha, you guys trying to get me back.” Weird sounds from the distance coming closer. “Alvian? Rover? Nicole? Did you hear that?” He picks up the flashlight and points in the direction of the sound to see a tall monster in the shadows. Kraken screams and sprints into the house.

Cody O’Ceal laughs taking off his mask, grabbing some candy for the ‘Dad tax’, and picking up his kids to bring them inside.

And that is our last story. So it is time to say goodbye. Did you hear that? What do you mean I am missing some stories I promised? Well I just told stories in a story the last one is:

Your own my friend.

October 19, 2024 01:18

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