Spirits of the Parana

Sebastian must have been seven of age, as he recalls, when he first saw a mask, as he referred to them. He was running amongst the trees along the Parana river when he fell into one of the streams just as a massive ship carrying a stack of containers powered through the waters, momentarily draining the streams thus sucking Sebastian out into the current of the river. It had happened so quickly that all that he felt was being thrown around the river-bottom like a rag doll being thrashed about in the mouths of two Pitbulls. He was the ragdoll but in the mouth of the river instead. His attempt for a gasp of air resulted in him filling his lungs and almost choking to death, in fact, he believes he had died that day and was saved by the mask. 

In his final moments, as he dangled in life’s balance, he vaguely recalls being lifted and ascending, as if rising to the heavens. Those moments of ascension felt eternal and he recalls a steady and deep drum, beating in the background, but awoke on dry land with his parents and siblings surrounding him, in apparent distress. His eyes opened and behind his grieving parents stood a tall mask-wearing being, wearing a brown poncho, who turned and left almost as he opened his eyes, just so that Sebastian could catch a glimpse. He later asked his folks and brothers who that man was. His parents assured him that it was a dream or hallucination from almost dying.

The drumbeat would wake him from his sleep for years to come, serving as a constant reminder of his strange experience. He dreams of a fire and flying animals coming from the flames. His family eventually learned to laugh at his stories and disregarded them as childish imaginations. They wouldn’t believe him. 

The years went by and he completely forgot the masked man and even stopped trying to convince others of his existence, that is if he was a man, but by the being’s stature Sebastian assumed that he was indeed a he. Before he had completely forgotten and moved on from that ordeal he was 10 or 12, he was running rampant with his siblings like a pack of wolves, except they ran from a boar which had taken an interest in them although it didn’t seem playful from the perspective of the boar. The children felt a mix of excitement and fear which gave them the necessary energy to outrun the boar. Some shot up into the trees and others made their separate ways home. Except of course for the brave one of the group, which was Sebastian.

Sebastian held in his hands a club which resembled a hammer, giving him a fatally false sense of power. He confronted the boar in its tracks with a grin, as if he knew he could take the beast. They stood for a moment with the sound of panting from both parties slowing to a halt as the boar and Sebastian grounded themselves ready to pounce. The boar made the first move and charged him like a steam train losing traction on the rails. Sebastian parries and does a sort of spin and jump to avoid being trampled, still with all the confidence in the world. The boar quickly pivoted with a jump and spin, as Sebastian previously did in avoiding it. The boar once again charged but this time Sebastian intended to swing the club as he weaved his attack. He places his left foot far over his right, crossing his feet and placing his weight on his left, he lifted his right leg and swung with all his might only to glance at the boar's change of direction a second before his strike would’ve landed.

He was run down and trampled violently by the boar. This time indeed, he knew he was dead. In a sort of dream state, he felt the flutes of the local native people playing in the air. The beat of the drum had returned after years of absence. The breeze touched his body making him almost feel as one with the winds, no longer being burdened by his earthly weight. His eyes opened and a white blur surrounded him as a masked being, the masked being, entered his peripherals. 

In this dream state, he sits up in the middle of a desert of white and brown sand dancing about with golden cacti and soaring condors, pumas with their cubs playing and running. He was not afraid. The masked man reaches his hand and helps Sebastian to his feet and says - Follow me Sebastian.

A great big fire, trapped in a circle of stones, centred in the white and brown desert, surrounded by all of life’s creations frolicking harmoniously. Faceless children playing the flute in their traditional dresses and ponchos. As the flames burned to the rhythm of the tune, the embers rose up and separated from the flame, manifesting into an animal which flew or ran from the flame. Sebastian peered deep into the flame and saw his people and all people, birds and frogs, snakes and fish. 

This is where you return now that you have died - says the masked man - all of life begins here in the fire and also, once ends, returns to the fire. You have given me much work child - added the masked man.

Sebastian in a state of acceptance and peaceful confusion asks - You were the man that lifted me from the water that day - That’s right - replies the masked man.

So does this mean I am dead? - Sebastian says, almost making a statement, still confused.

Well, you can perceive it that way. Death is merely man’s creation. Like many things man does not know, he creates a false truth to settle his burning questions. Death is only an interpretation of what the next stage of your being is. Nobody ever dies, they just shift planes.

Sebastian slowly fills with panic as he remembers his final moments of life, if he can indeed now perceive life - What about my brothers and sisters? 

They are fine, even if they are dead, they are fine - said the masked man.

I don’t understand, are they okay or not? - Stuttered Sebastian.

I am not responsible for them, they have their own guide. Your light was born here, from this fire, therefore I am to be with you until it is time to return to the flame.

What do you mean? Who even are you? Are you god? I don’t want to go back to the fire - cried Sebastian, barely being able to articulate.

The Masked man put his hand on Sebastian’s shoulder and said - Sit with me around the fire and I’ll show you. You can only walk back into the fire when you are ready. I cannot force you.

Sebastian sits as he observes his surroundings. Although he is being moved by waves of anxiety, they are slowly diminished as he finds peace in the life that surrounds him. He once again notices the children playing and the animals stampeding from the flames. 

I am not man nor woman but a being, you may not comprehend so you can just call me as you wish. I am your guide on this path. I saved you from the river because it was not meant to be. The river spirits had been angered by the large, unnatural boats, the River sensed the soullessness of the object and desired to stir the waters to stop the boats. The river told me that the boats carry evils which will send men off their true paths, the evil shall plant a seed of emptiness in their hearts, that the need to run amongst the trees, as you have done, will cease. It was an accident that you were taken into the river which is why I saved you. Do you understand? 

Sebastian can see his past in the flames and with new eyes looks at the sad and angered river spirit take him by accident. The River spirit sits afar from himself also wearing a mask and peering into the fire. 

Sebastian my child, I am no god but.. Sebastian interrupted him - Why do those children have no faces? And why do you wear a mask? Sebastian’s curiosity got the better of him, momentarily aloof.

You see those children never wanted to return to the flames of their own accord so eventually, the flame took back their beings piece by piece until all you see is a mere empty shell acting on memory. They don’t actually exist. Some of those children were born into a natureless environment so they never truly held a connection, others left nature behind and their souls became nothing. Eventually their bodies will find their ways to the flame of life. Although some wonder lost on these planes for eternity, even though eternity is not true, it is possible. Those who lose their way here are destined to ruin, sadly. This mask is a symbol of my loyalty and will to act as my flame guides. My mask is only slightly worn and cracked but I will continue on this path until I can no longer wear it and my body will return to the flame.

Why is your mask cracked? - asked Sebastian.

For every instance where I veer off my fate, of my own wishes. It begins to crack. It began to crack when I saved you. The flame told me to let you return but I insisted that you stay. There are some, like the river whose mask is slowly withering with the coming of the boats which, as I mentioned, signify the unnatural evils in this world. 

What happens if the river’s mask disappears? Will the river die? - asked Sebastian.

The river itself will always remain in its physical form but it will cease to host a spirit which brings balance among the life of this world. With the coming of modern technologies, the world is losing its essence and the masks of the elemental spirits will soon all die. It is something even I do not understand. All flow is natural. Maybe it has been woven into the fabrics by beings greater that I and the fire. All we know is that without our guiding hands, the balances of life could slip, never to be recovered.

Sebastian feels that he understands but is still scared of the fire but even more so of losing his face - Can I talk to the other spirits? - Sebastian asked curiously.

You may Sebastian but I would like to ask you something first.

Sebastian replied with a hesitant nod and dropping of his eyes.

I am in a place, new to many of us spirits and have been put into a position where I, and all of the spirits, are forced to go against the rule of the flame. Even in not doing so the balances of life are slowly slipping out of our control. Some of us feel that we should intervene as I and the river previously have and others believe that we should stand our grounds and allow the change, even if it means our demise. What we all agree on is that human change is going to happen with or without protest, therefore being natural. We beings also have our tests as you humans. Both worlds play an eternal game of push and pull, only this time we will fall. So I ask you, in lieu of my beliefs. Do you want to enter the fire or return to your human body? 

But won’t you lose your mask? - Asked Sebastian in a concerned manner.

Possibly - Says the masked man as he looks deeply into the fire.

I want to go back! - he cries.

Very well, I just want you to promise me one thing - said the masked man as he faces Sebastian.

Yes anything! He shouted.

Don’t forget this, look around you and remember that this belongs to you and I. All of this gives birth to and also is a result of, the human connection with mother nature. In reality, I have no idea which came first, all I know is that we need humans as much as they need us. I fear that one day the seeds of evil of which the river speaks, will stem into a need for less nature and more soulless objects. 

I can do that but what do you mean by a soulless object, don’t all objects have souls? - he asked excitedly.

Remember the table your father made out of a fallen tree? Which sat on a pile of clay bricks? Didn’t that table feel special to you?

I think so - Sebastian says as the table comes to his memory - So does that table have a soul?

That’s right, for the table was made with love and for a pure purpose. The boats which angered the river were made out of greed and selfishness. It expels poison into our air, we all have to breathe that air although it could be forgiven depending on its reason for being. Not in this case though. The fishing pole you made with your father and the beds you sleep on are all examples of soulful objects. The intentions are pure so they bring life with it.

I think I understand - Said Sebastian as he notices many tired-looking animals walking into the flame. He proceeds to ask - Does it hurt? Going into the fire like that? What happens after they are inside?

I don’t know if it hurts or not, it may - said the masked man without a change in his voice almost curiously - After the flame, you ask? That’s a good question. You and I will one day know the answer and may even cross paths once again to talk about it. Remember your promise my boy - Said the masked man as he pushed the boy’s stomach, sending him back, completely knocking the wind out of him.

His eyes are closed and the flutes and drum beats fade. He opens his eyes to the realisation that his father is carrying him on his shoulder, crushing his stomach, taking the wind out of him with each step. His father weeps heavily as if having just lost something unrecoverable. Sebastian screams in such pain and his father halts out of shock and drops him, further increasing his son’s pain.

Sebastian! You're alive my boy! - His father shouts almost from the throat - I thought you were dead - he cries on his knees, kneeling over his son’s waking body. 

The years went on and Sebastian never bothered to tell his parents about his dream, if in fact, it was a dream. He would often wonder, whether it was true or not he knew in his bones that the table his father made held a special something just as he felt running through the trees and swimming in the river. He would notice that the river almost seemed friendly after his ordeal and he could comfortably swim much further with less effort, as if the river was carrying him. Until one day the boat, which traversed the river, became many boats and the houses were soon bought by foreign parties and the river returned to its rough state, never again did it feel friendly or safe. As these developments occurred, Sebastian never forgot his promise to the masked man, even once he did, the essence of it still remained in his heart.

He battled the developments and continued to run with the trees until the winds stopped guiding his feet and the trees stopped dancing on par with his excitement. Eventually, his family had to move into the city and yielded to the pressures. The surrounding lands had become industrial property and the river a channel for greed to flow. The city where he moved to was so bustling with concrete and cars that it felt empty. Until the day came where he assimilated and forgot his promise, even losing the feeling in his bones which reminded him of the promise made.

Now an old man with grandchildren on his deathbed, in his final moments he tells his children and grandchildren to prosper. To work and to study is what is needed to be happy, he said in his final moments. I love you all so dearly - He gasped as his body felt the beat of the drums long forgotten. He feels a certain unfamiliarity to the drums but is soon reminded as the flutes play and the warmth of the fire calls his eyes to open.

He rises as excited as a child only to look around and see that the flame is on its last embers and the cacti had rotted brown, the animals and children were few, in fact, there was only one boy playing the flute. The masked man was nowhere to be found. Around the fire shivered a few final spirits with their masks almost entirely gone, they looked at him - The boy has returned - said one of them as another dropped with his mask finally withered away.

Welcome to the ruin.

What has happened? Why can’t I touch the fire? I am ready for the next world.

There was no reply, in fact, there was nothing. He looks down and feels a crackle under his feet. He looks at the blackened sand and sees the mask of his guide in pieces. He knew it was his. He picks it up and stares it in the one remaining eye - I should have gone in the fire those years ago I suppose - And in the bead of the eye he sees his reflection and he’s only a mouth, no eyes or nose. He drops the mask and it disappears in the harsh blowing sands, noticing that the fire is no longer in front of him and that he had been walking.

How long have I been walking?