Clean up, Clean up, Everybody Everywhere!

Submitted into Contest #93 in response to: Write your story about two characters tidying up after a party.... view prompt

18 comments

Fiction Funny Middle School

The pretzels and popcorn were spilled onto the floor and stomped into the, what once was pristine, rug.

Everleigh bent over and picked up red Solo cups and put them into her black trash bag.

β€œWas it a bad idea? Y’know, having a party while Mom and Dad aren’t here?” Everleigh asked.

Everleigh and I were twins, fourteen years old, both of us. We’d never gone to a party or thrown one. When Mom and Dad left for Hawaii this morning, we decided it would be a great idea to throw a party. Luckily they wouldn’t be home for a few days, so we definitely had time to clean up.

β€œOf course, I did.” I said. β€œBut now I think it’s the worst idea you’ve ever had.

β€œGosh, Bree! You said that you agreed! It wasn’t entirely my fault.” Everleigh’s face turned red as she threw a Cheeto puff at me from across the room.

β€œUgh! What is it with twin sisters! I wish I had a brother.” I added, mumbling under my breath reasons why I thought she was the worst sister in the world.

β€œOh come on, Bree.” Everleigh picked the mint gum off the couch along with whatever else.

She gagged so hard I thought she might throw up.

β€œThe couch is clean.” Everleigh announced.

β€œYeah right.” I walked over to the couch and took the cushions off the couch only to reveal a gross, food filled couch.

β€œGross, who brought american cheese slices? And why did they melt it into the couch?” Everleigh asked, gagging as she wiped it with a dirty dish rag.

Beep beep beep beep… beep beep beep beep… I answered the phone and I was surprised to see it was Mom.

β€œHello?” I answered.

β€œBree, sweetie. Is your sister there?” Mom asked.

β€œYeah. You’re on speaker.”

β€œOkay, I just wanted to let you know that with the horrible rain, our flight has been canceled. We’re thirty minutes away from the house.” My jaw dropped open as she gave the news, but I quickly responded with β€œOkay”.

β€œI love you. Bye.”

β€œBye”

Everleigh shook with terror as she ran around the house and picked up every piece of trash in sight. She even ran to the kitchen where I heard her slamming cabinets and drawers closed.

β€œEverleigh, we have thirty minutes. With the rain they’ll be slowed in traffic. You don’t have to rush.” I assured her.

Everleigh mumbled something under her breath that I couldn’t understand.

β€œWhat?” I asked.

β€œJust wait until you see the outside.” She muttered.

I ran to the window so I could see what she was talking about and I gasped.

Somebody toilet-papered our house, threw trash in the front yard, and sprayed silly string like they didn’t care! Someone also tipped the potted plants over so the soil spilled and the plants lost some leaves.

β€œYou clean the inside, I’ll get the outside.” I said as I rushed to throw some flip-flops on and get two black trash bags to pick up all the trash in the yard.

The rain pitter-pattered harder and harder and harder as I tried to throw away the wet toilet paper. It felt soggy in my hands and it made me feel like I wanted to throw up.

I had to get the big blue ladder from the garage to get the toilet paper that someone threw on the roof. When I finished the toilet paper mess, I scurried to get all the trash off the grass.

Wet cheese balls slowly melted into the grass. (I really don’t know how to explain it but it looked like they were melting.

I walked the trash to the trash cans in hopes that Mom and Dad wouldn’t notice how much trash we went through over the course of the day.

I was walking up the stone steps to go help inside, when I realized i had forgotten all about the ruined potted plants!

I tipped the terracotta pots back upright and made sure to keep the succulents in the pot.

I moved the soil around with my bear hands, making dirt get into the underneath of my nails.Β 

After the plants were all potted and back to normal, I ran inside to help Everleigh.

She had done a portion of the super messy kitchen and I figured this was going to take longer than I thought.Β 

I went under the sink and picked out some of the Thieves cleaner Mom used when she cleaned the counters and tables. I swiftly moved over to the island and wiped off drink splotches and food marks.

β€œMom and Dad will be here in fifteen minutes!” Everleigh announced.

As soon as she said this I started to move fast, throwing away things and cleaning as fast as I could.

The living room was fine and it looked like exactly how it did when Mom and Dad left for vacation.

β€œHey,” Everleigh said, plopping down on the couch next to me. β€œI think we did good.”

β€œWe sure did.”

As I took out my book and flipped open to where I had left off the last time, something suddenly popped into my brain. We forgot to clean the bathroom.

β€œOh my gosh!” I said hopping up to get the cleaner and some rags to take to the bathroom. β€œThe bathrooms!”

Evereleigh ran over to the bathrooms and her jaw fell wide open. But, as I peeked through the door, the bathroom looked pristine.

β€œThe-the-the!” She stuttered.

Again I looked all round the bathroom. Well, except for the shower.

I glanced at the shower and a teenage boy who I didn’t even know was sleeping in the shower!

β€œOUT NOW! PARTY’S OVER!” I was surprised by Everleigh's blurt, but I definitely got what she meant. The guy was super creepy.

The man stumbled out of the shower and I hit him with a broom until he found the front door.

Luckily we still had everything pristine inside. As I walked in, I found Everleigh on the couch with a magazine open.

β€œThey’re here! Act normal.”

I glanced out the window and Mom and Dad were walking in.

They opened the front door and gasped.

β€œWow girls! I’m very proud of you! This looks amazing. Did you have a good time?” Mom asked, sweeping her blonde hair out of her face.

β€œYes!” We both said in unison.

Dad got the suitcases and brought them upstairs to his room.

UPSTAIRS!!

We forgot about upstairs!!! And as I looked over my shoulder, I could tell Everleigh and I had the same feeling. The following sound made everything worse. Mom’s high pitched yelp.

May 07, 2021 23:05

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18 comments

Andrea Magee
13:33 Aug 05, 2021

So cute...very funny! BTW I too am a Reedsy refresher hoping for an (my dot is orange) dot!

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thanks, Andrea! thanks for this yellow dot you gave me :). You'll get more orange dots soon!

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Eric D.
23:17 Jul 19, 2021

Haha that was a great ending, super fun to read.

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Abby Walker
19:49 May 23, 2021

This was so funny! I loved it! I really pictured everything so clearly. Great job!

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Kate Winchester
13:55 May 22, 2021

This was funny. I felt like I needed to start hurrying. 🀣

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Kay (:
21:02 May 15, 2021

This is a funny story!! Great idea! The man in the shower was awesome πŸ˜‚ I wrote a story in a similar prompt and would appreciate some feedback on it as well! Stay safe and keep writing!

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Thank you! I thought the man in the shower was a nice, funny touch to the story! I just went to your story and left some feedback. :) Thanks!

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Kay (:
22:14 May 15, 2021

You're welcome! And thank you too(:

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11:57 May 15, 2021

I found this story funny. I could just picture the girls running around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to clean up in time.

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Virginia Rand
10:53 May 15, 2021

It's a fun story but I found the timeline a little confusing. The parents go to the airport and the teens have enough time to throw a whole crazy party, recover from the party, and start cleaning before the parents call to say something's gone wrong and they might be sent home? Then they manage to clean up even only one floor in 30 minutes? As I said the writing is good, only needing a bit of spit and polish which I'm blaming on the tight deadline. It just feels a bit like you haven't had to clean up after messy people in a hurry yet.

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thank you for the feedback! For next time, I'll know to make the timeline more understandable. :)

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Virginia Rand
14:32 May 15, 2021

It's one of those things though, isn't it. If we can't find something to change then we never grow. :-)

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Charlie Murphy
20:53 May 16, 2021

GREAT STORY! Reminds me of Risky Business, which I watched for the first time last week. If you want, read mine I submitted for this contest. =]

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