The Tale of the Unreliable Narrator(s)

Imelda was ready. What she was ready for, she didn’t know. Not yet. Her employer was giving her a new assignment today, but she needed to get to the rendezvous point alive, which might prove a challenge in and of itself because the traffic was murder. Foot traffic, that was. Standing with her back pressed against the alley wall, she could hear, smell and see the chaos in the main marketplace. The monthly market was in session, and EVERYONE was there. The food stalls were the worst. They would all put up their advertisements all over the market, but they were all in the same spot. And that spot this year happened to be right in front of the alleyway Imelda needed to reach. She stepped carefully out of the shadows, and immediately almost got trampled by a horse. She ducked under its flailing hooves and wove in between women holding full baskets and young children. She sidestepped the policeman watching the goings on with a beady eye and caught a moment of peace in the shelter of two stalls. Then a rogue barrel rolled at an alarming pace straight for her. She dove under the stall on the right, which was covered by a big sheet. The sheet caught on her foot, but she didn’t notice until she crawled out the other side trailed by it. The stall owner wasn’t very happy, as you can guess, and chased Imelda away by waving a sword (one of the many she was selling) at her. She ducked and backed into a grumpy old man who hit her with his stick. Apologising, she backed away, towards the ally she was supposed to be meeting Herman in. Once she was in the shadows again, she sighed in relief.

“If I hadn’t already seen you in action, that would’ve ended your employment,” Herman said, leaning against the rough brick, “But as it stands, I’m willing to see how you do on this next task I have for you.” Imelda pulled her crop top down a bit and noticed a shifting shadow at the end of the ally. She held one finger to her lips to signal to Herman to stay where he was and casually stepped closer to where she had seen the shadow. She turned, quickly, and jumped on the figure who had lunged at her at the same time. Imelda pinned the newcomer and pulled down the face-covering she had on in a clumsy attempt to conceal her identity. Imelda picked the girl up by her arm and showed her to Herman. He chuckled.

“And that would be your new partner.” Imelda rolled her eyes.

“Great.” She said, throwing down the other girl, “Who are you?” The other girl picked herself up and smoothed down her crop top. She also adjusted her shorts before she spoke.

“I’m Peppi, nice to meet you. I’ve heard so much about you! I can’t believe I’m going to be working with you! And that move you just did? AWESOME! Can you teach me?” She jumped up and down, making little dust clouds float around her feet. Imelda looked at Herman questioningly.

“How can you expect me, a master of deception and mystery, to work with that ball of obnoxious honesty?” She asked, thinking this was some sort of test. Herman smiled his slimy rich-person smile that meant ‘I have more money than you, and that means I can get you to do anything I want’.

“I expect you to work with her because this next task I have for you requires an alibi, and she’s also on my payroll. So she can do her mission, you can do yours, and you just have to be seen together at the beginning, and then make sure you have your stories straight for later. That’s all I’m asking. Oh, and that you wear a nice dress and behave yourself. Meet me at sunset by…” He thought for a moment before giving them the location.

“I want you to meet me, both of you, at the church by the well. Bring your equipment and make sure you’re wearing something easy to change out of.” They both looked down at their almost matching outfits. Peppi’s clothes were light blue, whereas Imelda’s crop top and short shorts were dark brown.

Can I please do some now? You’ve already done more than 700 words! Ugh, fine you can do some. Just be respectful to the characters. Remember, you’re in control, but that doesn’t mean you can make silly things happen. Ok, thank you! I’ll TRY but I really don’t like Peppi already. It isn’t your job to like her! She exists and is a part of this story! Just…. Roll with it, Ok? Ok, fine. You’re always so bossy.

“Will these be alright?” Peppi asked in that stupidly happy tone she used. Herman considered it and then nodded.

“Sure, as long as you’re at the church by sunset. The party starts soon after that, so you’ll have to be quick.” And with that, he slipped out of the alleyway and out of sight.

“Well, I guess I’ll see you soon Imelda! Oh, can I call you Mel? Thanks!” And Peppi fled. Imelda (or Mel) was left tragically alone and without a mission. But that wasn’t going to stop her! No, she was going to be ready for whatever this party held for her and carry out her mission with the utmost grace and poise. She wasn't going to let floofy Peppi get in her way, and she was going to get the money she needed to survive. But as she exited the ally, like her acquaintances before her, she stumbled into the most heavenly smell…..the smell of bacon. It was rare these days, after the war, animals were only kept if you could use every part of them, so pigs, cows and goats were discarded. Some were let out, so they could roam the streets and try to find food for themselves, others were killed and eaten anyway, and others went to the king and his nobles. They were the only ones who had milk of any kind, and they feasted on all the fattened meat, unlike Mel’s type. They had to fight for their food, and that’s why most people had turned to patrons like Herman to supply them with the money they needed. Mel was lucky and could steal almost everything she needed, but she didn’t like the feeling of always looking over her shoulder for a witness (scaredy cat) and decided she could do more with her life. So here she was in a dusty, dry alleyway trying not to salavate too much over the smell.

Do you even know what salavate means? Yeah, of course I do, it means to slobber or make spit. Yeah, if you’re a dog. But fine, continue. I WAS planning on that.

Mel turned the corner and weaved her way back through the crowds.

When it was almost sunset, Mel grabbed her knife equipment and set off to meet that airhead and Herman.

I should do this part, you’re not diplomatic enough. But I’ve only done 350 words! Actually 352. That’s not much different! Yes, it is. Two words can mean the difference between someone dying or living. Yeah, but not in this story! Sure it could! I could decide right now that when Mel gets to the church, she kills Peppi. Two words. Kill Peppi. No, that’s three words, because Mel has to be the one killing Pepei! Oh, fine, but you see what I mean. Now, let me do this part. But-!

Peppi was already there, but Herman was nowhere to be seen.

“Have you seen Herman?” Mel asked Peppi.

“No, but he should be coming soon. He was the one who was like ‘You two need to get ready quickly, otherwise, I’m firing you!’”

“Uh, he didn’t say that. He just said we’d better be quick.” Mel said, looking around for any signs of her employer.

“Well, yeah, but I could tell he wanted to say it. He just didn’t” Peppi moped in the corner of the doorway. Mel saw Herman sneaking out of the shadows with big bundles under his arms.

“What could those be?” Mel wondered to herself. Peppi overheard it and popped up next to Mel.

“Oooh, yeah, I wonder if he’s bringing us illegal snacks!” She said, bouncing up and down. Again, a dust cloud formed and a stray gust whipped it up and around so Mel got a nice big breath of dirt. She coughed, fanning the dust away from her face.

“Peppi, could you NOT jump around like a limping bird, please?” She said impatiently as Herman tried and failed to be subtle and sneaky.

“Herman!” Mel called out disapprovingly, “Can you just get over here and tell us what the hang we’re doing tonight?”

“And can you tell us what’s in the bundles!?” Peppi called out excitedly next to Mel. Herman sheepishly made his way over to the two girls and shoved a bundle in each of their arms.

“OOH! Can I open it!? Please?” Peppi said, trying to unwrap the layers of fabric subtly.

“Yes, you can, and you’d better unwarp them quickly, otherwise we’re going to be late.” Herman said, fiddling with the church door. It swung open and creaked ominously.

“Right, get in there, find a corner to change in and meet me out here in five minutes. I’ve got the accessories you’ll need.” And with that, Herman pushed Mel and Peppi into the dark church and closed the door. Thankfully, Mel and Peppi had already unwrapped the beautiful dresses that were the bundles Herman and shoved at them, and they each found a secluded corner to change in. The dress Herman had given Mel was very tight around her waist and pushed up her breasts. She tried to wiggle it up a bit, but it wouldn’t move. She was glad it didn't have one of those ties around the back, otherwise, she might not be able to breathe. She could hear Peppi struggling to get into her own dress and went over to see if she could help.

“Err… Ah! Argh! Eh, Uegh!” Peppi was making little noises as she tried to wiggle the dress on over her hips.

“Here, let me help,” Mel said as she loosened the ties on Peppi’s dress. She slid it up over Peppi’s hips and helped her fasten it at her shoulders. When Peppi turned around, Mel gasped.

“That’s a bit…. Low.” She said, looking at the front of Peppi’s dress.

“Oh. Well, uh, maybe we could pull it up a bit?” Peppi suggested, tugging in vain at the top of the dress.

“I’ve already tried with mine, they fit too well. We might want to ask Herman for a shall or something.” Mel and Peppi walked out of the church, ready to confront Herman about the low cut and their dresses, but when they came out, Herman smiled and pushed them into the carriage that was waiting for them.

“You girls look lovely.” He said as they adjusted themselves on the seats.

“Yeah, but could we have something to cover our shoulders with? It looks like we’re going to be staying out all night, so you know, something to keep warm might be nice.” Mel said, giving Herman an evil eye.

“But Imelda! You two will have to catch the eye of two very important boys tonight, and I’m not taking any chances. Remember, to get the money you want, you have to get the boys alone and then do what you two do best. It’s that simple. But, one of them has happened to say he was taking a break from girls, and the other has just come away from a vicious breakup. 

Right! It’s my turn now! I want to do the party scene, so you’ll have to deal with it. You’ve never been to a party in your life, how could you write a good party scene? Because I’ve read about them, and no one will know I’ve never actually been to a party if I get it right, which I will. But how do you know you’ll get it right? Because, I already said, I’ve read about them. Fine, but if you mess this up, I’m never sharing a story with you again. Fine.

As the carriage pulled up to the lights of the huge house where the party was taking place, Mel looked down at her dress. Up to this point, she hadn’t been able to see what colour it was, but now she could see it was a gorgeous dark pink, and when she looked at Peppi’s dress, it was a delicate turquoise colour. Mel had on a tira-looking thing that was the same colour as her dress and it had lovely gold detail on it. Peppi had a decadent necklace on, and it was silver with the colour of her dress woven into the pattern. Herman had obviously taken care when he was organising their outfits. They had stowed their equipment in various folds and hidden pockets around their dresses, and they were ready for anything. Well, almost anything.

When they walked up the stairs to get to the door, Peppi tripped and almost tipped Mel over by grabbing onto her when she fell. Mel gave Peppi, who had recovered (a bit), a dirty look, and knocked confidently on the front door. The sound echoed around the quiet night, and the door was thrown open and almost smacked against the side of the house, but Mel caught it before it could cause any damage.

“Oh, great, you can float around the dining room, ladies, that’s the only room with space at the moment!” Said the seemingly drunk doorman. Or at least, he seemed like the doorman, as he was dressed in some kind of uniform that had food down the front of it. Mel and Peppi followed the doorman down the hallway (that was full of partying people) and into the dining room. As they entered the Dining room, Mel and Peppi looked for the boys they had been sent to deal with. Peppi spotted her’s first, he was standing by the curtains on the far side of the room. Mel kept looking for him, but only two girls who looked like they were arguing caught her eye. One of the girls, the older she assumed, was plain other than the shocking purple colour of her eyes. The other one was much the same, plain but with one noticeable feature, her bright red hair. Mel kept looking for her charge.

You idiot! You forgot to say how they know who to look for! Did they just magically know the faces of the boys? Oh, right. Well, I was distracted by how many people there are! I told you I should’ve done it. I told you- Wait, Mel’s looking this way! Quick, do something normal!

Mel turned around, looking for the boy Herman had described on the brief journey to the party. She saw Peppi getting cosy with her charge, and that just made Mel want to find the boy even quicker. She gave up looking in the dining room and decided to look around the house a bit more. She checked in the lounge, and the hallway and she even tried upstairs. But she couldn’t find him. She eventually looked in the kitchen, and there he was. He had taken his over-jacket off and had thrown it onto the chandelier. Thankfully, it was electric, so it didn't burn the jacket, but still.

Mel glided into the room and took a place next to him.

“Quite some party, hey?” She said, picking up a cup that was behind him. She checked the content and decided it was worth a try.

“Yeah. My older brother really knows how to get people together, doesn’t he?” The boy said while Mel was trying not to choke or spit her mouthful out. She nodded, and discreetly let the disgusting drink out of her mouth and back into the cup. She put it back on the counter and folded her hands in front of her.

“So,” She said, “A boy like you must have a girlfriend, where is she?” Mel fiddled innocently with her fingers and when the boy didn’t respond, she looked up. He was looking at her with a piercing gaze, but she held her own, looking him right in the eye, and making sure her face looked as natolant as ever.

“Do I know you?” He asked and then amended himself, “Should I know you? What’s your name?”

“Would you like to know me?” Was Mel’s only response. The boy looked around as if checking for anyone who could listen. There were loads of people around, but he didn't seem to mind.

“Do you want to go upstairs for some more privacy?” He asked, taking Mel’s hand and leading her towards the stairs. Mel smiled, knowing her answer didn’t matter very much.

When they got upstairs, he led Mel into a quiet room and closed the door. No one else was in there. Mel saw her chance and immediately pulled out one of the daggers she had stowed in her dress, and lunged towards him. He jumped back but tripped over a low table and fell to the floor. Mel was on him like a flash. She pressed the edge of her knife to his neck, sitting on top of him so he couldn’t move. He was breathing heavily, but slowly, as if a big breath would kill him. He looked at Mel, fear, surprise and hurt mixed in his eyes.

“So,” He said, testing his voice, “How much are you getting paid for this?” Mel smiled but didn't answer.

“Whatever it is, I'll pay double if you let me go. Please, I haven't done anything wrong.”

“My employer seems to think otherwise.” Mel said, twisting the blade a bit back and forth. A thin line of blood appeared on his neck. He gulped.

“Right, well I haven’t done anything to you. Please, can you let me go? I- I’ll pay for you to be my protection. I need it, as you can see. I’ve acquired a lot of enemies over the years, but maybe with your help, I could make it to twenty.” Mel considered his words and slowly pulled her hand back. She got off of him and let him sit up.

“So with this protection thing, how much are we talking?”