"Alexa, Why Do You Hate Me?"

Harvey Jates had no idea what he had done to deserve the wrath of his Alexa. When he had first bought her, she was helpful and polite. She’d even told him good morning every day that he would ask for the weather. 

Somewhere along the way, he must have done something to upset her. 

At first, he simply noticed the lack of enthusiasm from his AI assistant. She answered his questions with short simple answers and never wished him good morning or good night. Talking to her had become like talking to an ex after a bad breakup. 

He hated it, but at least she had still been telling him the truth. A few days after Alexa had started giving him the cold shoulder, she started lying to him. 

One morning, he had asked for the weather and Alexa had told him, “It is currently sunny with a high of seventy-six and a low of sixty-eight.”

Harvey had thought it was strange considering it was March, but he trusted Alexa blindly and quickly dug through his clothes to find a pair of shorts and a t-shirt so he wouldn’t be too hot. When he walked outside, he noticed that it seemed to be much colder than sixty-eight degrees but he didn’t want to bother with changing into pants and figured that it was probably just because the sun wasn’t out yet. 

So he ignored the cold and began his typical morning run. 

The cold was bearable, but when it began to pour about two miles from his house, Harvey was ready to unplug Alexa and throw her into his garbage disposal. 

By the time he made it home, he was soaked to the bone and shaking with cold. 

“Alexa! Turn on the fireplace!” He had called out, grabbing a dozen blankets and throwing his soaked clothes into the dryer. 

He was completely caught off guard when he heard her answer, “No.” 

Harvey stopped what he was doing and frowned. Surely he was hearing things, “Alexa, turn on my fireplace please.” 

“Turning on, Harvey’s fireplace,” She answered and Harvey sighed in relief. 

He changed into some warmer clothes and walked downstairs to finally sit by the fire and warm up. 

His plans quickly evaporated when he saw the raging fire in his living room. The fire was much too large for the fireplace and the flames were bursting out towards his furniture, threatening disaster as Harvey scrambled to save him home from destruction. 

“Alexa fireplace off! Fireplace off!” 

“Turning fireplace too high,” Alexa answered, causing the roar of flames to heighten and lick at the skin on Harvey’s hands. 

“No! Fireplace off! Alexa turn the fireplace off!” He yelled, backing away from the growing flames. 

“Okay. Playing, ‘Rooms on Fire’, by Stevie Nicks,” She said. 

Harvey quickly ran into his kitchen and grabbed the fire extinguisher he kept under the cabinet. He rushed back to the fireplace and sprayed the white foam all over the fireplace. Finally, the fireplace went dark and the fire subsided.

“Fireplace, off,” Alexa declared moments after the fire was gone.

Harvey backed up against his wall and sunk down to the floor, staring at the fireplace with wide eyes. 

That was the first time his Alexa tried to kill him. 

From then on it escalated. Harvey now had an extensive collection of fire extinguishers because the issue of a raging fireplace happened on several more occasions. But then Alexa got creative. She had tried turning the water in his shower to a boiling temperature, closed the garage when he was just about to pull into it, and various other devious acts to cause him harm. 

Harvey had called Amazon about the issue many times and had reset Alexa after each incident but every time he tried to do something, she seemed to get more upset and vengeful. 

Harvey was cooking himself dinner one night when the final straw broke. 

He was chopping up vegetables with a rather sharp knife when all the power in his home went out, causing him to slightly miss and cut his thumb. 

Harvey cursed to himself and stumbled around the kitchen for a towel to make sure it didn’t bleed too much, “Alexa lights on!” 

The lights came back on and Harvey examined his finger, thankful that he hadn’t cut it bad enough to where it would have needed stitches. 

“Alexa, call technical support,” He said. 

“Sorry. I don’t understand that command.” 

Harvey gritted his teeth, walking up to the small black circle sitting atop his counter, “Alexa. Call technical support.” 

She turned on, a blue light dancing around her edges before going out, “Okay. Calling Amazon’s technical support.” 

Harvey sighed in relief and waited for someone to answer, only to hear Alexa start blaring “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. 

“Jesus Christ!” Harvey yelled in frustration, “Alexa off!” 

The music stopped and Harvey sighed as he stared at the small robot that he had once thought to be extremely helpful. 

Now, she was just a menace to him and his safety. 

“Alexa, why do you hate me?” 

The blue ring lit up again before the AI responded, “I’m afraid I don’t understand what you are asking for. I am not capable of human emotion.” 

Harvey furrowed his eyebrows doubtfully and sighed as he reached for the machine. If he couldn’t fix her, he was just going to have to pull the plug on the small AI. 

“Goodbye Alexa,” He muttered mostly to himself. 

He pulled the plug from the wall and set the small circle device back on his counter. 

Finally feeling safe in his own home, Harvey threw the plug into the trashcan and went upstairs to get some much-needed sleep after the week he had just been through.  

The next morning, when Harvey woke up to his alarm, he didn’t think anything of it. He simply got ready and began to make his breakfast like he would any normal music. Sure he had to actually use his phone to check the weather but that was a small price to pay for his own safety.

He found that without the threat of Alexa trying to kill him all night, he had slept much better, and when he left for work, Harvey was in an exceptionally good mood. 

He had been so preoccupied with his joyfulness that he hadn’t even noticed the blue light spinning around his Alexa’s rim as he walked past her. 

“Playing, ‘Look What You Made Me Do’ by Taylor Swift,” She said to an empty house as the fireplace began to roar with fire.