look at what you did

"life is just a bunch of mistakes that you just live with" those were my last few solid thoughts before I became a body that could only move in the memories of people but never again move in their waking lives. I truly lost myself in the idea that I was too careless to actually think you know?

So I do need to start at where I truly messed up, my name is honestly the first mistake ever made in my time on this world "Will". WILL? like how could my parents hate me and not even know me yet. It's so boring it's a name lacking a life it's a word that should stay in a sentence, not a name. Anyways, yeah that's my name nothing special, so I was minding my business and just walking down the street in a green oversized hoodie and some baggy blue jeans. You know something a background character wears not the main character!

Sorry, I keep on sidetracking, I'm walking down the street on a cold day in November, again NOTHING SPECIAL. while I walk I start to feel my heart beat in my feet. My family has this thing where when something important is about to happen you'll feel it in your feet. it's like how old people can feel rain or some random people can smell when it's going to rain. So I'm just walking, a normal thing and my feet start beating I'm like "okay umm that's either good or bad." well, apparently being distracted makes it harder for you to walk correctly, who knew. The tip of my shoes had found a pothole in the sidewalk and soon my face found the ground. My face hurt so bad and felt awful, it was definitely read from pain and embarrassment.

"My darling star child blessed your face but now all red, pain, and sight leave a trace" who is speaking like that in the year 2022? I look up and see the face that was definitely a factor in my mistake. His face was blessed by the universe if we're being honest, his eyes were stary they were a nice gray reminding me of when I would look up into the sky at night but because of all the light pollution, I couldn't see the stars, his shoulders could be on a commander and legit it would still make sense, but his outfit??? very attractive to be honest, he was dressed as a ring leader in a circus but it was all star and universes themed.

"Hi- yap all good yap" smooth Will I mean at least I said something "all is fine as long as you are star child" he clasped my face and suddenly I wasn't hurting, I wasn't nervous, I was safe. "i-I'm sorry did I like embarrass myself that bad in front of you?" he took his hands off my face after I asked my odd abrupt question. "to do so one would have to fish in the sun and yet I'd still think them normal." oh okay, sure yeah, what? "um okay? well, have a nice day." yeah no I wanted to not stay longer but I did, a small crush just makes you stupid. "your life is wrong, ink so dry the story will die." the strange man says as he hands me a seed in the shape of a heart. It was definitely a pumpkin seed but it was an odd shape. He leans in and whispers in my ear "plant my seed star child." OKAY FIRST OFF?? One why would you say that, two kinda hot, and three I don't have a green thumb. But as they say, nothing good will last, in my short time looking at the seed the man had disappeared.

On the walk home I just thought about the mystery man's face, very charming to be honest. I also thought about what he meant by "Ink is dry story die" thing like is that how you say bye for good? like the ink on a newspaper, when that's out the conversation is over. Yeah, that sounds right. When I reach the sidewalk in front of my house I realize I legit forgot the fact I was out on a run for groceries, "well" I thought to myself "I've already had too many interactions for one day" I stick my hand in my pocket to look for my house keys but instead I find the seed the stranger had given me, a pumpkin seed in the shape of a heart, should have been my first red flag right?

As I look for the spare key that I hide under the frog statue on my porch (his name is Fren). The very moment I find my hidden keys, a shiny light catches my eye. it was a shovel, in my yard? remember I said I didn't have a green thumb so why in the world would I of all people have a SHOVEL? But being how stupid I was, I grabbed it and then the rest felt natural, I shoved it into the ground and made a small but deep hole, and I put the heart-shaped pumpkin seed in it. I lay it to rest never to think about it again you know? So without a second thought, I head inside and lay down for rest and take a 2 or three houre power nap.

I remember my last dreams actually, I was an actor who was putting on makeup for my performance, I'm guessing I was some type of clown because it was very colorful makeup and when I was done with the makeup I walked onto the stage but the stage had flooded with ink, and I was surrounded by flouting bodys and... pumpkins? but then the strange man from earlier comes out of the ink, he walks slowly toward me, the ink around him drying and hardening into a solid black mass as he walks on it "death from eath life a new, find a face as good as you." with the last word you he had been so close to me that the air I was breathing was the air he was breathing out. I (stupidly) leaned in to kiss him but as soon as I touched him I was awake.

After a dream like that anyone would do what I had done next, I went outside for the fresh air. All of that was a lot to take in but maybe I shouldn't have in all honesty. I look at my yard (all brown dead grass because it is November) and just see a bright orange pumpkin "carve it" my brain yells at me and my body jolts up frozen with fear and confusion "kitchen. counter. knife. pumpkin. face." my brain kept on yelling at me, I stayed still for a minute but the longer I stood there the louder the voice became. so I gave in, I went to the kitchen counter grabbed a knife, and headed to the pumpkin. cutting it open and gutting it was easy but the face was tricky I didn't know what I wanted it to be but then I remembered what the stranger had said in my dream "find a face as good as you" I said to myself then I started carving. the eyes were slanted into a sharp angry eye look, and the mouth was like a traditional pumpkin smile only it was a frown.

As soon as I was done with the carving a ringing shot threw my ears and the voice from before was back "Give. It. A. Body." I could easily do the scarecrow in my neighbor's wheat field across the street, so I did. the pain that voice can do is unbearable I have to do what it tells me. I walk into the field almost robotically scared that if it seems I stray from the goal just a little that I will hurt again. I rip off the hay bag head and place the pumpkin on it. in all honesty, it did look way better so they should thank me (at my funeral). The command the voice has over me stops, and apparently, the knife I used to carve the pumpkin was still in my hand, out of panic and a little bit of confusion I throw it on the ground and run home. I slam the front door behind me and lay on my bed looking at my pumpkin-covered hands, red, they were red; I screamed in horror but when I look back at them they were covered in pumpkin nothing else.

suddenly the room was going dark, I definitely wasn't asleep but I wasn't all there either. I don't know where I was but it felt like days it was small but big, quiet but loud, white but black, but two words made all of it gone "the end" I jump out of whatever that was and find a trail of muddy footprints in front of me "hello?" I ask into my house, this day has not been great."arah" right yeah it sounded like it was definitely supposed to be a response but it was, however, missing the point. It did however mean there was someone in my house, great. my feet were pounding with my heart (that would soon stop). I look out the doorway and see it staring at me a face I had made. the pumpkin on the body I gave it. holding the knife I used. It grabbed me with its wood stick art that was covered in vines connected to its jest, I could barely make it out but in its chest was the seen I used to plant it, it was pulsing like an actual heart.

what could I do against a 6 feet tall pumpkin monster that was holding me to the wall right now and had a knife? nothing I could do noting and I did nothing. the monster looked me in the eyes with his hollow ones and goes "look at what you did" and then bam knife straight into my heart. All my mistakes in that day had cost me my life. My ink had run dry, My story was dead, over.