1407 comments

Sad Inspirational Speculative

Dedicated to my magical parakeet, Meg, who passed October 12th. I hope you're happy soaring around in paradise, Meg.


I'm flying.

Mama, I'm flying again, so free! I feel so independent! The cage is gone!

Mama?

Where are you, Mama?

Weren't you holding me in your warm hand just now?

Weren't you looking at me and smiling?

Why was there sadness in your eyes, even though you were smiling? Mama, what happened? Why did saltiness roll down your face and fall into my mouth? 

It didn't taste good, Mama. Please don't feed that to me again.

Why was your face twisted in agony?

Why did you disappear?

It's getting cold here, Mama. It's cold, like the time you forgot to bring me close to the heater in the winter night. I remember you held me afterward, Mama. You apologized to me so many times, even though I kept telling you it was fine, and I was fine!

It's okay, Mama, I am fine. I'll keep flying. I'll keep going, and I'll never forget you, okay, Mama? Don't worry about me.

I feel bad, Mama.

I pecked and scratched you so many times. Blood seeped out of your cuts, but you didn't get mad. You smiled and told me not to.

I won't do it anymore, as long as I get to see you again, Mama.

Where am I? The sky is so white, so empty. It doesn't at all look like the sky I stared at through the window of our house. That sky was bright blue, the same color as my feathers. That sky had thick, puffy clouds and sent warmth through the window to me. This sky is cold, not too cold, but it's colder than usual. I miss you, Mama. I miss our house and my cage, and my seeds and my toys and my friend.

I miss your giggles as I smacked against the window, excited to fly around. I miss your warm, soft voice, murmuring beautiful words as you worked. I never knew what those words meant, Mama, but they sounded magical because they came from you.

I even miss when your voice got faster, weaving in and out with your sister's voice until you turned your backs to each other, and Grandma and Grandpa had to sort it out.

I even miss your worried squeals and shouts when I went behind the couch or bookshelves. I miss you scolding me gently for pecking my friends. I miss you reading to me, pronouncing words for me, in high hopes I'd mimic you. 

I never could, though, and my words always came out as chirps, and yours didn't.

Mama, I miss your warmth.

Everything about you was warm; your words, sweet like the fruits you put in my cage, your laughs, bouncy like the small rubber balls you brought home from the doctor's, your hands, smooth like my perch, your breaths, light like my feathers, your coffee eyes, hypnotic like the mirror hanging beside me.

I hope you still have your warmth, Mama. 

I'll remember it as I travel to my destination. I don't know how, but I know that where I'm going won't be warm. I know it'll be cold and barren and boring and too quiet to be called a real place. I'll keep your warm words and warm laughs and warm hands and warm breaths in mind, Mama.

Mama, I remember I wasn't a good bird.

I hurt you and yelled at you, and I always tricked you by escaping the old black cage after finding a large gap in the wires. I remember you came home, and I was exploring, and I heard you call me, so I answered.

You called me so many times that day, Mama, and I answered every single time. Then you found me, walking around under the bed, and breathed a warm sigh of relief, and picked me up, and put me in my cage.

You brought home a newer, larger, white-and-blue cage a week later. I couldn't find a way to escape from that cage.

It was probably for the best, Mama, wasn't it?

That's right. Mama, you always wanted the best for me. You brought friends so that I wouldn't be lonely. You let me out regularly because you wanted me to have freedom. You always gazed at me with your twinkling, warm coffee eyes, and then Grandma would come in and tell you to focus on your work again. 

Your voice was constantly there. You were always in my room, and if not, I heard your voice from the next, and if you were downstairs, I heard your voice echoing through the vents of our house, and if you were in the backyard, I heard your voice from the window, and if you went somewhere, I heard your voice in my head.

I miss your voice a lot, Mama.

There's no one to talk to me here, to bathe me in their warm voice, to look at me and call my name. 

I guess, for now, I'll keep listening to your voice in my head. I'll keep listening to you calling my name, whispering secrets to me, repeating your name to me so I could say it myself, you jokingly teaching me how to get food for myself. 

Mama, I miss our house. I miss flying around indoors with my friends, and I miss hiding from you, and I miss perching atop the bookshelf or a picture frame. I miss the smell of curry and rice and samosas flitting through the air along with me when Grandma and Grandpa cooked. I miss the scent of the air freshener. I miss the citrus scent of my seeds. I miss the smell of my friends, Mama. When will I see my friends?

Mama, is my friend all alone now? Will I be alone when I reach my destination? There aren't any friends around me, Mama.

Mama, it was so strange when you were looking at the bird wrapped in a tissue and calling it by my name. I chirped for you so many times, Mama! Mama! Mama! But you kept looking at the bird and shouting, Meg! Meg! Meg!

Mama, I'm Meg! Why didn't you look at me? I was right behind you, why didn't you look? I was chirping and chirping!

Now I'm alone, and I'm going to a cold place without you, Mama.

Mama, where are you?


October 16, 2020 19:39

You must sign up or log in to submit a comment.

1407 comments

Dalyane Deblois
17:29 Oct 22, 2020

Such a beautiful story! I saw one of your comment on Blair's latest story, and decided to come check you out. I'm glad I did! This is just exquisite and full of emotions, I'm at a loss for words. I'm so sorry for your loss. Hope writing this story helped you. I enjoyed your work, keep writing!:)

Reply

Laiba M
19:11 Oct 22, 2020

Thank you, Dalyane! I'm so happy you decided to check out my story~!! Your words are so wonderful for me to read and make me so happy :) Your name is so beautiful as well! Thanks again, have a great day!

Reply

Dalyane Deblois
19:32 Oct 22, 2020

I'm glad I checked it out and that my words brought you comfort!:) And thank you, have a great day as well!!

Reply

Laiba M
19:55 Oct 22, 2020

Thanks!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Abbie Maggz
07:10 Oct 22, 2020

I really felt like I was 'mama'. This is such a good story and it made me think of my cat that I lost a few years back. I think I'll keep coming back to this story for a long while. Thank you for a wonderful read.

Reply

Laiba M
13:02 Oct 22, 2020

Thank you~ Those were my intentions :) Thank you for the words, I'll keep your cat in mind!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Amany Sayed
12:54 Oct 20, 2020

Oh my gosh, this is so sad! I'm so sorry for your loss...I have 3 pet parakeets and I can't imagine what I would do if one of them were to die. It was really well written and almost like poetry. Meg would be proud. 😪

Reply

Laiba M
14:54 Oct 20, 2020

I originally had 3 parakeets as well! Thanks for the sweet words, Amany :)

Reply

Amany Sayed
14:55 Oct 20, 2020

That's awesome! I noticed you said the bird was blue in the story. I have one light blue, one bright green (my favorite one lol) and one dark green. It's easy to tell them apart lol.

Reply

Laiba M
16:08 Oct 20, 2020

Oh my goodness, our parakeets are super similar then!! I have a bright green and had a light blue and a darker blue-green, like a teal or turquoise-y color~ Sadly, two died and I only have the bright green one left :(( The weird thing is, Meg died October 12, 2020, and my other turquoise bird died October 11, 2018... Just a crazy coincidence!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
00:21 Oct 20, 2020

can we still talk?

Reply

Show 0 replies
Avani G
23:11 Oct 16, 2020

Wow. I knew you were grieving over your lost pet, but this story opened my eyes to a whole new side of grieving. I'm really sorry, Laiba, I really am. I hope your parakeet is happy in heaven, and is safe. ❤️

Reply

Laiba M
23:15 Oct 16, 2020

Thank you, Avani :) As always, it means a lot, and I'll tell her what you said when I stand at her grave ❤❤

Reply

Avani G
23:34 Oct 16, 2020

No problem! I won't be surprised if this gets shortlisted, maybe even win ;)

Reply

Laiba M
23:39 Oct 16, 2020

That means so much!! I think I've only heard that twice :) Thanks!!

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
19:51 Oct 16, 2020

Okay, while this was really good it also made me really sad, not enough to make me cry or something but it was still really sad. Did you actually read to her like it says in the story and some of the other things? If so, then that's kinda cute ^^ I don't think i'll actually rate this story though since that's not important right now and because it would probably be a bit strange to rate this one from what it's about and everything else, though it's still great. I know your probably still sad about it though that's alright and i understand, t...

Reply

Laiba M
21:00 Oct 16, 2020

Thank you! Yes! All the small things in this were true and did happen :D Thanks so much, Hope!!

Reply

B. W.
21:01 Oct 16, 2020

No problem :) Aw, then that's still a bit cute but still sad, did you ever read to her a lot?

Reply

Laiba M
21:46 Oct 16, 2020

Yes, mainly children's books, because I found that it would be better to teach her simple sentences at first, but unfortunately, none of my 3 parakeets picked up a single word T-T

Reply

B. W.
22:02 Oct 16, 2020

None of them were able to say anything? how long did ya even do it for?

Reply

Laiba M
22:10 Oct 16, 2020

A year or so and then gave up, haha... parakeets are supposedly able to mimic words and such, but apparently not mine TT_TT

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
07:53 Dec 04, 2020

Hola amiga ^^

Reply

Laiba M
13:34 Dec 04, 2020

Hii :)

Reply

B. W.
16:38 Dec 04, 2020

how are ya today?

Reply

Laiba M
17:02 Dec 04, 2020

Good!~

Reply

Laiba M
17:02 Dec 04, 2020

You?

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
17:23 Dec 04, 2020

I'm fine but im just sort of tired and bored :/

Reply

Laiba M
18:03 Dec 04, 2020

Makes sense, quarantine is getting way too boring...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
00:31 Dec 03, 2020

Hola amiga

Reply

Laiba M
01:28 Dec 03, 2020

Hola amiga, como estas?

Reply

B. W.
03:27 Dec 03, 2020

Estoy Bien, y tu?

Reply

Laiba M
03:38 Dec 03, 2020

Estoy bien! So how has your day been?

Reply

B. W.
03:56 Dec 03, 2020

I guess its been good, but im a bit bored and just wanting to do stuff with you and the others

Reply

Laiba M
13:19 Dec 03, 2020

Stuff as in stories? Or conversations?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
03:33 Dec 02, 2020

oh Laiba, i meant to ask you...I need a new account theme (ex. rn i have butterflies) what should I do next? I was thinking strawberries but couldn't find any good profile pics. it can be an aesthetic or it can be a theme or it can be an object

Reply

Laiba M
13:45 Dec 02, 2020

If you like fruits, you can pick one :) I think bananas, watermelons, or kiwis would look good~ Other than that, maybe a pale dreamy theme? Only pastels, cloud emojis, light-colored emojis, just all of that!

Reply

Amaya .
15:48 Dec 02, 2020

ooh thank you i might use those!

Reply

Laiba M
15:49 Dec 02, 2020

No problem! :)

Reply

Show 0 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Amaya .
23:23 Dec 01, 2020

hiii! it's been so long!

Reply

Laiba M
23:24 Dec 01, 2020

Hey!!~ It has :) How are you?

Reply

Amaya .
23:24 Dec 01, 2020

great, how are you? im rly excited because im about to start the actual writing part of my novella!

Reply

Laiba M
23:36 Dec 01, 2020

Oh wow, that's the exciting part! What's it about, if you don't mind sharing?

Reply

Amaya .
23:47 Dec 01, 2020

uh i don't think i will, because stealers yk. i don't think u would ofc, but in case anyone else sees this thread.. ikr! it's so exciting, but im too busy today to do it and that's sad :(

Reply

Laiba M
23:58 Dec 01, 2020

Yeah, makes sense... another reason for my petition for private messaging on Reedsy, lol~ Yes! There are just some days when you have inspiration and are ready to write but can't find the time...

Reply

Show 2 replies
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
03:00 Nov 24, 2020

im sorry

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
01:33 Nov 24, 2020

Whenever the private messaging thing your doing is finished, are you going to email Jenn or something about it? I don't think you explained

Reply

Laiba M
01:43 Nov 24, 2020

Yep! I told you four times, lol~~

Reply

B. W.
02:14 Nov 24, 2020

My memory sucks :/

Reply

Laiba M
02:52 Nov 24, 2020

I remember which conversation I had with whom, but will forget all about it the next day, lol :D

Reply

B. W.
03:00 Nov 24, 2020

I'm honestly probably being annoying to you about this whole thing and I'm really sorry, though I never found the link on any of our threads for some reason, you could just do it again maybe?

Reply

Laiba M
12:39 Nov 24, 2020

What? That's strange... I'll have to resend it after my morning classes, is that okay? Maybe around 11 or 12 :)

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
22:10 Nov 22, 2020

heyyy

Reply

Laiba M
12:57 Nov 23, 2020

Hiii :)

Reply

B. W.
18:58 Nov 23, 2020

how are ya?

Reply

Laiba M
23:00 Nov 23, 2020

Good!! Excited for Thanksgiving :)~

Reply

B. W.
23:01 Nov 23, 2020

I dont like thanksgiving that much

Reply

Laiba M
23:05 Nov 23, 2020

Hmm, why?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
08:16 Nov 22, 2020

heyyy

Reply

Laiba M
12:58 Nov 23, 2020

Heyyy~~

Reply

B. W.
18:58 Nov 23, 2020

hola :)

Reply

Laiba M
23:01 Nov 23, 2020

Hola, como estas?

Reply

B. W.
23:02 Nov 23, 2020

I got a new story out :D could ya check out "You'll get used to it" and leave some feedback?

Reply

Laiba M
23:14 Nov 23, 2020

Sure!!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
20:35 Nov 21, 2020

im kinda feeling lonely

Reply

Laiba M
12:58 Nov 23, 2020

We can talk! Sorry for responding so late, I wasn't feeling so great yesterday, so I didn't check Reedsy :(

Reply

B. W.
18:59 Nov 23, 2020

You weren't feeling so great? what do you mean?

Reply

Laiba M
23:03 Nov 23, 2020

I wasn't feeling really good and even considered taking a month or two off from Reedsy. I just felt uninspired and didn't like my stories after reading a story (one that I REALLY recommend, it's by R.K., and it's called Wildflower Lyrics!!). I felt that my stories were boring and immature, and just didn't want to write. Also, before, I would find a way to write a story I liked for the most normal prompts, and now, I haven't been inspired by a single one for over a month...

Reply

B. W.
23:05 Nov 23, 2020

Oh come on, your stories aren't like that, I think that they are really great and I'm sure others agree with me on that ^^ I could maybe try to help you get ideas or something for a new story if you want?

Reply

Laiba M
23:08 Nov 23, 2020

Thanks :) I'm glad that at least you like them! I'm just not happy with my writing style at the moment. I have an idea I like for one of the prompts but am not inspired enough to build on it...

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
00:33 Nov 21, 2020

heyyy

Reply

Laiba M
03:46 Nov 21, 2020

Hiiii :)

Reply

B. W.
05:16 Nov 21, 2020

how are ya?

Reply

Laiba M
13:42 Nov 21, 2020

Good! You?

Reply

B. W.
18:52 Nov 21, 2020

eh, im fine but im just bored and tired

Reply

Laiba M
13:07 Nov 23, 2020

Ohh, okay~ Well, you can read a few of the amazing stories on here to cheer yourself up :)

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
04:32 Nov 20, 2020

Hm, are ya maybe gonna send me a link now or something so I can see the cover art? I'm excited ^^

Reply

Laiba M
14:04 Nov 20, 2020

Sure~ Hold on :)

Reply

B. W.
17:23 Nov 20, 2020

Thanks ^^ are ya gonna put it on this thread or are ya maybe gonna put it on something else?

Reply

Laiba M
18:06 Nov 20, 2020

This thread~~

Reply

B. W.
18:34 Nov 20, 2020

Ya gonna do it yet or are you still finishing the cover and stuff? sorry if I'm asking you about this a lot or something, I'm just excited ^^

Reply

Laiba M
03:45 Nov 21, 2020

I'll send it to you tomorrow, sorry about the delay :) My internet cut out for a few hours, and I lost all the progress I made on the quiz :(( I'm really sorry, I'll get it to you first thing tomorrow!

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
03:09 Nov 19, 2020

heyyy

Reply

Laiba M
13:27 Nov 19, 2020

Hiii

Reply

B. W.
18:35 Nov 19, 2020

how are ya today?

Reply

Laiba M
19:12 Nov 19, 2020

Good! I'm making the quiz to send you the cover art after I finish my classes for today, btw~ You?

Reply

B. W.
19:40 Nov 19, 2020

Yay, now im getting a bit excited for that ^^ I'm better than usual

Reply

Laiba M
20:01 Nov 19, 2020

Cool! How was school today?

Reply

Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
Show 1 reply
B. W.
23:03 Nov 18, 2020

Have ya got any story ideas for something to try and do at some point? I'd really love to see a new story from ya, it would be great ^^

Reply

Show 0 replies
B. W.
23:02 Nov 18, 2020

heyyyy

Reply

Show 0 replies
RBE | Illustrated Short Stories | 2024-06

Bring your short stories to life

Fuse character, story, and conflict with tools in the Reedsy Book Editor. 100% free.