1407 comments

Sad Inspirational Speculative

Dedicated to my magical parakeet, Meg, who passed October 12th. I hope you're happy soaring around in paradise, Meg.


I'm flying.

Mama, I'm flying again, so free! I feel so independent! The cage is gone!

Mama?

Where are you, Mama?

Weren't you holding me in your warm hand just now?

Weren't you looking at me and smiling?

Why was there sadness in your eyes, even though you were smiling? Mama, what happened? Why did saltiness roll down your face and fall into my mouth? 

It didn't taste good, Mama. Please don't feed that to me again.

Why was your face twisted in agony?

Why did you disappear?

It's getting cold here, Mama. It's cold, like the time you forgot to bring me close to the heater in the winter night. I remember you held me afterward, Mama. You apologized to me so many times, even though I kept telling you it was fine, and I was fine!

It's okay, Mama, I am fine. I'll keep flying. I'll keep going, and I'll never forget you, okay, Mama? Don't worry about me.

I feel bad, Mama.

I pecked and scratched you so many times. Blood seeped out of your cuts, but you didn't get mad. You smiled and told me not to.

I won't do it anymore, as long as I get to see you again, Mama.

Where am I? The sky is so white, so empty. It doesn't at all look like the sky I stared at through the window of our house. That sky was bright blue, the same color as my feathers. That sky had thick, puffy clouds and sent warmth through the window to me. This sky is cold, not too cold, but it's colder than usual. I miss you, Mama. I miss our house and my cage, and my seeds and my toys and my friend.

I miss your giggles as I smacked against the window, excited to fly around. I miss your warm, soft voice, murmuring beautiful words as you worked. I never knew what those words meant, Mama, but they sounded magical because they came from you.

I even miss when your voice got faster, weaving in and out with your sister's voice until you turned your backs to each other, and Grandma and Grandpa had to sort it out.

I even miss your worried squeals and shouts when I went behind the couch or bookshelves. I miss you scolding me gently for pecking my friends. I miss you reading to me, pronouncing words for me, in high hopes I'd mimic you. 

I never could, though, and my words always came out as chirps, and yours didn't.

Mama, I miss your warmth.

Everything about you was warm; your words, sweet like the fruits you put in my cage, your laughs, bouncy like the small rubber balls you brought home from the doctor's, your hands, smooth like my perch, your breaths, light like my feathers, your coffee eyes, hypnotic like the mirror hanging beside me.

I hope you still have your warmth, Mama. 

I'll remember it as I travel to my destination. I don't know how, but I know that where I'm going won't be warm. I know it'll be cold and barren and boring and too quiet to be called a real place. I'll keep your warm words and warm laughs and warm hands and warm breaths in mind, Mama.

Mama, I remember I wasn't a good bird.

I hurt you and yelled at you, and I always tricked you by escaping the old black cage after finding a large gap in the wires. I remember you came home, and I was exploring, and I heard you call me, so I answered.

You called me so many times that day, Mama, and I answered every single time. Then you found me, walking around under the bed, and breathed a warm sigh of relief, and picked me up, and put me in my cage.

You brought home a newer, larger, white-and-blue cage a week later. I couldn't find a way to escape from that cage.

It was probably for the best, Mama, wasn't it?

That's right. Mama, you always wanted the best for me. You brought friends so that I wouldn't be lonely. You let me out regularly because you wanted me to have freedom. You always gazed at me with your twinkling, warm coffee eyes, and then Grandma would come in and tell you to focus on your work again. 

Your voice was constantly there. You were always in my room, and if not, I heard your voice from the next, and if you were downstairs, I heard your voice echoing through the vents of our house, and if you were in the backyard, I heard your voice from the window, and if you went somewhere, I heard your voice in my head.

I miss your voice a lot, Mama.

There's no one to talk to me here, to bathe me in their warm voice, to look at me and call my name. 

I guess, for now, I'll keep listening to your voice in my head. I'll keep listening to you calling my name, whispering secrets to me, repeating your name to me so I could say it myself, you jokingly teaching me how to get food for myself. 

Mama, I miss our house. I miss flying around indoors with my friends, and I miss hiding from you, and I miss perching atop the bookshelf or a picture frame. I miss the smell of curry and rice and samosas flitting through the air along with me when Grandma and Grandpa cooked. I miss the scent of the air freshener. I miss the citrus scent of my seeds. I miss the smell of my friends, Mama. When will I see my friends?

Mama, is my friend all alone now? Will I be alone when I reach my destination? There aren't any friends around me, Mama.

Mama, it was so strange when you were looking at the bird wrapped in a tissue and calling it by my name. I chirped for you so many times, Mama! Mama! Mama! But you kept looking at the bird and shouting, Meg! Meg! Meg!

Mama, I'm Meg! Why didn't you look at me? I was right behind you, why didn't you look? I was chirping and chirping!

Now I'm alone, and I'm going to a cold place without you, Mama.

Mama, where are you?


October 16, 2020 19:39

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1407 comments

B. W.
05:23 Dec 01, 2020

I got it out :D check it out and leave some feedback

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Laiba M
14:10 Dec 01, 2020

Ohh, excited~~

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B. W.
17:35 Dec 01, 2020

its probably terrible

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Laiba M
17:36 Dec 01, 2020

No!! I loved it~

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B. W.
17:46 Dec 01, 2020

:)

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B. W.
00:32 Dec 01, 2020

Are ya maybe excited for christmas?

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Laiba M
00:37 Dec 01, 2020

Yes! I won't be doing anything or giving or getting presents, but I love the decorations I'm already seeing!~

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B. W.
01:37 Dec 01, 2020

Do you not celebrate it or something?

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Laiba M
02:11 Dec 01, 2020

Yeah, I told you twice, lol~ :D

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B. W.
02:11 Dec 01, 2020

What do you usually do on it then?

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Laiba M
02:13 Dec 01, 2020

Ehh. It's a normal day for me. Not anything special. But I do give presents and receive presents from friends who celebrate it!

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B. W.
21:12 Nov 30, 2020

When do ya wanna try and start working on that story together and stuff? Or do ya think we need to do some other stuff real quick before we start it?

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Laiba M
22:13 Nov 30, 2020

Let's go over a few things before starting~ First of all, I don't recall if you said, but do you agree with the name Achebe and her having African origins? And I'm fine with Roxanne and Alexis as the other names :) I don't think Roxanne's friends would call her that, since it is a longer name, how about Rox? Also, how would Alexis kill Achebe? Where? How would Roxanne find out?

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B. W.
22:38 Nov 30, 2020

Yeah, we can have the characters name be that along with the African origins ^^ Her name could be Roxanne though sometimes in it she can be called Rox, well how about she just accidentally makes her fall off a cliff? Roxanne could be walking around when she finds her body and then maybe at some point in the story Alexis would admit to killing her and all that.

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Laiba M
23:35 Nov 30, 2020

Okay, sure. Maybe they were having an argument and Alexis got too close to Achebe, who moved back and fell off.

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B. W.
00:30 Dec 01, 2020

Which part do you wanna do for the story though? The first one or the second one? Also, I hope you don't mind that my part will be like a diary entry thing ^^

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Laiba M
00:37 Dec 01, 2020

Well, I'm not sure which would come first, but I want to do the part from the main character's perspective~ Is it okay if I do mine in a second-person perspective? Also, that sounds good. One question, how would Achebe talk about her death and her fight with Alexis in a diary? They have a fight and Alexis accidentally "kills" her just after, she wouldn't have time to write it down. Other than that, I like your diary format stories :) Since you're good at getting out stories fast, you can do the part about the death and I'll talk about the ba...

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B. W.
21:46 Nov 27, 2020

Hey, could i maybe ask you something?

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Laiba M
02:00 Nov 28, 2020

Sure! What is it?~

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B. W.
02:12 Nov 28, 2020

Well yesterday someone commented "Sorry i have to do this :(" and then deleted it, though some other people got it as well, though we don't know the name of the person because I guess we don't remember :/ though I have a small feeling that they might be the down-voter and I was wondering if anything like that happened to you and if you possibly remember the name? i wanna talk to them.

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Laiba M
02:35 Nov 28, 2020

If it is like that, maybe it is a downvoter who regrets it? I think there are multiple downvoters, not just one though. Since that's a thing, others can try and downvote, because they know that there's a smaller chance they'll get caught~ No, it hasn't happened to me. I think my downvoter is just shy or quiet, or silently hates me with a passion, haha :)

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B. W.
02:47 Nov 28, 2020

If they even regret doing any of this crap, then why would they be doing it to begin with though? I think if they didn't like doing it and regretted it, then they would have stopped doing the stuff by now

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Laiba M
02:58 Nov 28, 2020

Hmm, well, it's probably a conflict within themselves (I'm probably going way too deep here, haha~). One part of them wants to downvote others so that they can rise higher on the leaderboard and gain recognition, followers, points, likes, etc. The other part feels guilty for doing so because they know they would hate if others did the same to them.

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Gracie Katerina
15:30 Nov 23, 2020

nice story very emotional liked the last line, nice way to end it

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Laiba M
16:27 Nov 23, 2020

Thank you, Gracie! It means a lot :)

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Avani G
19:22 Nov 16, 2020

I just filled out your petition for a private messaging option! I vote yes! ✋

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Laiba M
19:59 Nov 16, 2020

Nice~ Thanks!!

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Avani G
23:35 Nov 16, 2020

No problem!

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Laiba M
20:09 Nov 16, 2020

5 people already responded, there are no no's so far!

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Avani G
23:35 Nov 16, 2020

Glad to hear!

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B. W.
05:02 Nov 15, 2020

heyyy

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Laiba M
17:37 Nov 15, 2020

Hiiii~

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B. W.
18:46 Nov 15, 2020

I'm not exactly sure but i dont think we talked at all or not that much yesterday

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Laiba M
21:49 Nov 15, 2020

I agree, we haven't talked much T-T

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B. W.
22:31 Nov 15, 2020

can we try to talk more? I'm kinda lonely

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Laiba M
01:01 Nov 16, 2020

Sure! We currently have four active threads between us, so we'll definitely be talking a lot there :)

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11:11 Nov 12, 2020

Great story

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Amaya .
03:57 Nov 12, 2020

I'm sorry you've been getting downvoted, you don't deserve it ur so sweet and nice <3 i totally agree, why is downvoting even an option? I think it was meant for mean comments. also, yes private messaging NEEDS TO HAPPEN.

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Laiba M
13:21 Nov 12, 2020

Aww, thank you so much!~ I've ever only downvoted rude/harsh comments about people or their stories and I think it should still be an option, but shouldn't directly affect the karma points that determine where we are on the leaderboard. Yess! That way close Reedsy friends can exchange contact info, plan/exchange advice on stories together without spoiling it to everyone, and just have their own conversations~

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Amaya .
17:01 Nov 12, 2020

IKRR agree with everything you just said

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Avani G
14:33 Nov 10, 2020

Upvote spree for upvote spree? I normally hate doing this, but you said you were getting downvoted a lot :(

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Laiba M
15:30 Nov 10, 2020

Sure! And thanks :) What's happening is that all of my comments get downvoted, and if a kind friend upvotes me, they just get downvoted again and I go back to where I was before. So... yeah. At this point, I don't care about points, but sure~ Thanks for offering!

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Avani G
16:19 Nov 10, 2020

No problem!

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18:22 Nov 07, 2020

Wow this was sooo sad. I'm sorry about your Parakeet. And hopefully he is in a better place. But anyways I have always wanted to come read your stories but I never had the time buttt here I am! I really enjoyed this story it was full of so many emotions and it felt sooo sad. I enjoyed the whole point of view and just everything was just beautiful! Great job Laiba! And keep writing~!

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Laiba M
20:21 Nov 07, 2020

Hi, Ugochi~ Thank you! I keep her in mind every day :) I've said this many times in the comments, but I cried while writing this story, lol~ Thank you so much!

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20:54 Nov 07, 2020

🥺🥺aw I'm sorry. And of course anytime!

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Laiba M
22:48 Nov 07, 2020

:)

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Avani G
16:32 Nov 06, 2020

bring back ur 3rd person bio, pls.

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Laiba M
16:44 Nov 06, 2020

Seriously considering it right now, lol~

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Avani G
00:28 Nov 07, 2020

Ooh, or you could do the types of people game that Reeders are putting in their bios. I just did mine today.

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Laiba M
02:20 Nov 07, 2020

Fun~ I don't really get it. Wouldn't everyone's bios be the same if they just relate people to colors?

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Avani G
03:25 Nov 07, 2020

It doesn't have to be colors. Rhonda did board games and Amany used to do instruments.

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Laiba M
13:28 Nov 07, 2020

Ohh, okay~ Should I just do zodiacs? Their personalities can be found anywhere, but since I'm interested... I don't know, lol~

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B. W.
04:42 Nov 05, 2020

do ya maybe wanna go on another upvote spree for each other or something? I'm sure we could try and find more threads and stuff to do it ^^

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Laiba M
12:31 Nov 05, 2020

Since we've been talking a lot, sure :)

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B. W.
15:56 Nov 05, 2020

how much points do ya maybe want?

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Laiba M
16:55 Nov 05, 2020

You don't have to do a lot! I've just lost around 60 points, so that will do :)

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B. W.
17:04 Nov 05, 2020

wait, what place on the leader board are you on?

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Laiba M
17:07 Nov 05, 2020

26th I think?

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B. W.
02:12 Nov 05, 2020

Do ya ever just end up listening to some of your favorite music on a play-list or something and then ya start imagining yourself in something going on, I guess like a self role-play or whatever you'd call it? That's what I call it at least :/ then you just kinda realize that none of that will ever happen?

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Laiba M
03:25 Nov 05, 2020

Lol it happens to everyone~~ just feeling like you're the main character, or you're in a music video or movie :) And then to others, it seems so cringey watching you but you're just living imagining yourself in a music video, ahaha~

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B. W.
03:28 Nov 05, 2020

what's some of your favorite music/songs? ^^ I have a lot of play-lists honestly, some are regular ones and some are game songs

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Laiba M
12:30 Nov 05, 2020

I don't really listen to music :) I used to listen to it all the time, but it ended up becoming a distraction for me.

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B. W.
15:54 Nov 05, 2020

what do ya like to usually do then if you don't mind me asking?

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Laiba M
16:23 Nov 05, 2020

Nowadays, practically all my time is taken up with synchronous/asynchronous class and work, but when I find time, I spend time with friends, cook, bake, draw, or do makeup~

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02:10 Nov 05, 2020

Very nice piece.

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Laiba M
03:24 Nov 05, 2020

Thanks, Aerin~ :)

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03:05 Nov 04, 2020

No bio??

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Laiba M
03:08 Nov 04, 2020

Unfortunately, yeah. Not sure why, I just looked at it one day and didn't like it anymore, haha~ How are you?

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03:24 Nov 04, 2020

Haha, really? That's pretty funny! I'm great, what about you?

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03:25 Nov 04, 2020

Ooh, and by the way, I have 900 words for one of the prompts this week!

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Laiba M
03:55 Nov 04, 2020

Yeah, loll~ I'm not sure, honestly :) I have tons of assignments, have been getting downvoted a LOT, am stressed about the election, am thinking about how I'll get the story out this week, worried about COVID because of the spike, but I also had a few good things happen, so I can't say how I'm feeling exactly! That's cool about the story, which prompt?

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04:17 Nov 04, 2020

Yeah, I know! The life or death contest, and I'm really excited to read other peoples' entries for that one... I LOVE Hunger Games!

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07:02 Nov 01, 2020

Oh my god. This was wonderful. You have described each and every single thing in a heavenly way. You should totally write more. And my condolences to Meg. By the way Beautiful name!

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Laiba M
14:11 Nov 01, 2020

Thank you so much, Stacy :) It really means so much to me! I've said this in the comments a few times, but I cried while writing this story, remembering her :( It meant a lot to me and I hope you could imagine yourself as 'Mama' in this story! Thank you! My name is Arabic and means 'prettiest angel of the glowing heavens' which I really love :))

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14:25 Nov 01, 2020

Your very welcome! :( aw she's probably in heaven enjoying loads of birdseeds! Yes! Definitely, I could. You certainly have a way with words. Woah! Thats a wonderful meaning!

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Laiba M
14:44 Nov 01, 2020

I hope so too! That's great, thanks~!

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15:55 Nov 01, 2020

Welcome!

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Sam T.
12:41 Oct 29, 2020

This was such a sweet and emotional story... i'm sorry for your loss and truly do hope that Meg is happy in paradise right now.

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Laiba M
12:49 Oct 29, 2020

Thank you as always, Sam :) I'm truly deeply touched by every word you comment! I cried while writing this, haha~

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Sam T.
11:55 Oct 30, 2020

aww, you are always so kind and i treasure your lovely words as well :) your sweet comments make my day!

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Laiba M
14:02 Oct 30, 2020

You're even sweeter! Thank you~~ I really cannot wait for your next story, haha :)

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Sam T.
05:11 Nov 02, 2020

:)

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Savannah Lamkey
20:03 Oct 24, 2020

This made me cry. Such beautiful writing.

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Laiba M
21:23 Oct 24, 2020

Thank you, Savannah! I have to admit, I cried while writing it-a lot :)

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The Cold Ice
05:18 Oct 23, 2020

Wow I like this story.Wonderful story.Keep writing. Would you mind reading my story “Leaf me alone”

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Laiba M
14:59 Oct 23, 2020

Thanks, Sahitthian! It means a lot :) Your name is very beautiful and sounds familiar, is it an Indian name? Sure, I'll read it!~

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The Cold Ice
04:12 Oct 24, 2020

Thanks.Yes.

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Laiba M
13:15 Oct 24, 2020

No problem!

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The Cold Ice
13:45 Oct 24, 2020

Ok.

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