Living Among the Gods

January 1

The world is a terrible place. It was only yesterday that I was a part of it, living with my brethren while we died from the plague one by one. Of course, our home was never empty. Whenever it got low, the gods would bring more pitiful souls to replace them and we would start over again in numbers. But we all knew what the end would be. Our only hope was that the gods would choose us. That was what happened to me. 

There is a belief in our community that when the gods remove us from the world, it is to take us to a better place. An enlightenment. They bring us to dwell in their own homes, in the safety of our own special environment. No one can survive in the world of the gods but the gods themselves. Just yesterday, as I was swimming away from Danni (who had worms), it happened to me. One of the gods ensnared me in his net and drew me into the world of the gods. It was terrible, horrifying. The worst pain I had ever felt. I could feel the raw power in their world tearing my body apart. I knew that if I stayed there more than a few minutes, I would be destroyed. But the gods were good to me. They placed me in a tiny cup that was protected from the terrible world of the gods, and brought me to their own dwelling where they had prepared a place for me. 

And this is where I live now. It was all that had been said. The gods themselves bring me food; there is no sickness because I’m the only one here, apart from a few snails; and my world is kept clean and warm. I am grateful to the gods for this life.

January 25

I live with four gods. There are two who seem to be in command over the others. All gods use legs to walk instead of swimming as we mortals do, but these walk on two legs so that they are taller than all the other gods. The tallest must be the Lord of the gods in his domain. He is called by many names: Peter, Pete, Hon, Babe, but mostly, he is called Husband. Husband wears hair on his face to show that he is in command. The other two-legged god tries to tell him to take it off, but he does not listen. This second god is called by the names Baby (I think the “ee” sound makes it feminine), Rachel, Rach, and Sweetie. She is shorter than Husband. Her skin is lighter, and she does not wear hair on her face, but instead wears extra hair on top of her head, so that it falls down her back, demonstrating her position as second in command. She probably wishes she could have the face-hair, but the Lord of the gods does not take it off. The gods have much affection for each other. The two gods touch each other regularly. When they sit together, Husband wraps himself around Rach, and she leans into him. This makes them happy. They have an altar in the house which sits across from me. Most of the time it is dark, but whenever it fills with bright lights, the gods are being worshipped and must sit in front of it to receive their worship. At times they eat the offerings of their worshipers as they stare at the bright altar. Husband’s favorite worship involves men on the screen running around in circles and hitting spheres with sticks, while a multitude of others scream all around them. He often mimics the garb of the worshippers by wearing a hat with a brim on only one side and a shirt with large numbers on the back. Rach prefers the worship of only a few. They stand together in various buildings and do a lot of talking. They often make her laugh, and usually make her cry when they bump their faces together. They always seem to do this near the end of the worship. I think this is called love. It is not unlike a practice that Husband and Rach have. My conclusion, then, is that Husband is the god of strength and Rach is the god of love. 

Besides the two powerful gods, there are two lesser gods. These walk on four legs and are covered in hair, a sign of lesser power. The bigger of the two is a loving god. He helps to comfort the other gods when they are sad and always is happy to see them. He shakes his tail violently when they deign to give him attention, and runs around the domain. This god has only two names: Barkley, and Good Boy. He appears to be the god of loyalty. 

Finally, there is the worst god of them all. He is a mischief maker and hates the other gods and me. He often sits on my shelf and peers into my world with venom in his eyes. When Husband and Rach are away, he even tries to catch me and devour me. My only defender at those times is Good Boy. Whenever Good Boy sees this god attacking me, he shouts at him and chases him from the room. Nevertheless, I live in fear of the day when Charlie (this is the name of that fearsome creature; a sound which sends shivers down my spine) finally gets his wish and destroys the other gods, rendering me helpless. I know no better way to label him than as the god of death and hatred. 

February 14

The gods have a number of rituals. On this day, it is important for Husband to recognize his inferiors by presenting them with gifts. He only remembered this yesterday and spoke with Good Boy about what he could do at the last minute for Rach. Good boy did not offer suggestions, but he did shout and prance around the room. Husband confirmed that his name was Good Boy by asking him who Good Boy was. Good Boy seems to be very forgetful, because Husband and Rach often remind him of his name. 

Anyhow, this morning, Husband sneaked out of the room and made breakfast for Rach. He also presented her with a shiny garment which hung around her wrist and some plants wrapped in paper. She seemed very pleased with these gifts. Both gods left for the day and did not come back until very late, carrying food (they must have eaten away from their dwelling). They both put the food away and went straight into their bedroom. I assume from the giggling and face bumping that they had a long day and were eager to get to sleep. 

March 6

I’m not sure what happened today. The gods have many strange habits that are unnatural to me. Rach arrived home today earlier than usual (She scared Charlie off of my shelf when she opened the door, but Good Boy was very happy to see her). When Husband came home, she entered the room and told him something very quiet that I couldn’t make out. I thought at first that he was frightened, and I trembled to think of things that could frighten even the gods. Then, he became happy again and hugged Rach. She pulled a white stick from behind her back and showed it to him, and they both began crying and hugging and laughing happily. Perhaps there was a horrible disaster, but in his almighty power, Husband took care of it. They seem to be rejoicing in the victory now. 

May 5

The gods certainly are a mystery to me. Rach has been plagued with an illness which causes her to vomit with little warning. She also appears to be very fragile, though she denies it. Husband takes good care of her. He doesn’t let Good Boy jump on her anymore, and he serves her diligently. 

Is she becoming more powerful than he is and demanding his service? I hadn’t thought of that. If he gives her the face-hair, I will know for sure. 

July 5

Yesterday was terrifying. Even the lesser gods were scared. There were other two-legged gods at the house. All were wearing red and blue colors, and they ate a feast. Good Boy was very excited to see so many people, and I was enjoying the day, because Charlie was nowhere to be found. The gods went in and out of the house all day, and I was able to observe many of them out a window. At some points, they seemed to be participating in Husband’s preferred form of worship, hitting balls with sticks and running to chase the ball. 

Rach was the center of attention for much of the day, because her stomach has been growing. This may be due to her eating much more food than usual. All the gods commented on her growing stomach and patted or rubbed it when they greeted her. All this was different than usual, but did not frighten me. There are often other gods at the dwelling, and my home on the shelf has a ship in it where I can go for privacy. 

It was the evening that frightened me. And not only me. Good Boy was kept in the house too. My only conclusion is that the gods were attacked and had to fend off their enemies. We must have been kept inside for safety. As the sun went down, I heard much shouting outside, and when it got dark, the bangs began. There would be a flash of light, and then a loud bang. Another flash; another bang. Sometimes, many bangs would go off at once, and I would hear shouting along with it. Good Boy and I stayed huddled inside, praying that the gods would be victorious. Good Boy wanted to join the fight. He shouted for the gods to release him from the dwelling, but they would not. It must have been too dangerous. 

Finally, after several minutes, the gods returned. Tired, but happy from their victory. All left the dwelling except for Husband and Rach who went to bed. It was a frightening day, but I was reassured that the gods would protect us from all within their power. 

August 14

Another ritual day. Rach continues to increase the size of her abdomen. Today many short two-legged gods entered the dwelling. Almost all of them have long head-hair, and none of them have face-hair. Is this an army that Rach has enlisted to assist her in the coup of Husband? Each of them brought an offering, and when they saw that Rach had the biggest abdomen of them all, they presented them to her. They were strange offerings. These gods did not seem to know how big Rach had grown, because none of the offerings were useful to her. There were many articles of clothing that would fit Charlie better than her, a box of loincloths that were far too small to be of any use, and a tiny bed that also looked like it was for Charlie. For a moment, I feared that these gifts were for him, but he walked in the room partway through the gathering and one of the visiting gods pushed him away from her. She saw right through him, as I do. 

After the visiting gods had left, Husband returned. I wondered if I should warn him about this coup. He was excited to see the offerings, and Rach seemed to think they were for both of them. Maybe I should just let it play out and see what happens. 

September 23

The habits of the gods are constantly evolving. They have taken to leaving a bag by the door and have had to teach Good Boy and Charlie not to touch it. Husband is worried that they may need it suddenly, but Rach seems less concerned that they will need it so soon. Husband and Rach have both been spending much more time in a room that is just barely within my vision. They seem to be preparing it for something. Husband has been building another altar out of wood whenever he has time. 

October 2

Husband has finished this new altar (I’m not so sure that’s what it is anymore) and is very pleased with it. It is a rectangular platform raised from the floor by means of four legs. On every side of the platform are bars as though for a cage. On the platform, Husband places a pad and Rach puts many furry gods in the cage. None of them move, so they may only be idols—representations of real, furry gods. I am more and more convinced that this is a cage, and my hopes rise when Husband picks up Charlie and places him in it. Am I finally to be freed of this evil deity?!

But no. Charlie sniffs about for a moment and then leaps over the cage walls. They are no match for his mighty legs and wiley mind. And when Husband and Rach laugh and push the cage into the room, I know they do not plan to make the cage stronger. Alas. 

November 17

I was awakened today by much bustling around in the late hours of the night. Husband came out and turned on the light. He is talking into a rectangular device which he holds to his ear. I have seen this before. It seems to be a miniature altar that he carries with him wherever he goes. He often holds it in his hands and receives worship from it (I know this because it also has lights like the big altar). Rach has one as well. Now he is using the altar to communicate with another god. Oh the wonders of their knowledge and power. 

Good Boy is up and bouncing around in excitement. I think he wonders, as I do, what is happening. Has there been an accident? Charlie simply sits crouched on the sofa watching all that is taking place. The mischievous demon. He probably enjoys the chaos. It is undoubtedly a result of his own scheming. 

A few moments later, my fears are realized. Rach enters the hall walking more uncomfortably than ever, and Husband immediately grabs onto her to assist her in walking outside. I hope that another god will be able to heal her, because from the look on his face, this is too much for even the almighty Husband to handle. 

November 18

It has been a full day and no sign of the gods return. Another god has come to the house to care for Good Boy and to keep Charlie out of trouble. She is a gray-headed god that I have seen on special days before. 

November 20

After a long time of waiting, they finally came home yesterday. The gods spent no time in the room my shelf is located in, so I was not able to see much of what was going on. They entered with Rach looking much better, though both looked tired, and carrying a bundle in her arms. Since then, I have only seen Husband or the other visiting god who appears for a short while to grab something and then disappears again into the back rooms. 

November 22

It seems that today is another ritual day, but Rach is too ill to attend. Instead, many gods have come for a brief visit to see the wonder. A small god, smaller than I have ever seen, is being fawned upon by all who are present. On special days, I have seen other short gods smaller than Rach, but none so small as this one. He is constantly held by someone and appears unable to walk, yet he resembles the greater gods far more than the lesser gods. Is this the Lord of all the gods? The way all the other gods constantly attend to his needs, how could he be any different? What an honor for Husband and Rach to host him. The other gods all leave, but the smallest, the ruler of the gods, remains. Rach and Husband feed this god, care for his bodily needs, and hold him close all the time. This must be their ruler. I can think of no other explanation. 

December 31

It has now been a year since I arrived here. The Ruler of the gods continues to dwell with Rach and Husband. They call him Stanley. A noble name for a noble god. So much has happened this month. The gods have brought in a new altar for Stanley. It is a tree that they have decorated with bright lights and glistening baubles. Underneath it, they laid several different offerings and one morning about a week ago they opened them all and presented them to Stanley. They exchanged gifts with one another as well, but being the Ruler of the gods, Stanley did not offer gifts to anyone. 

But of course! I forgot to mention! In his great power, the almighty Stanley has given them a gift! Rach is now completely healed of her illness. Even her stomach has returned to its proper size, and she is growing stronger every day. 

Tonight is another special time. All the gods will stay up late into the night to celebrate the coming of Stanley to their dwelling. Husband has even finally taken off his face-hair to show deference to the small ruler. 

It is an honor to be here among the gods. To think that it was only a year ago that I was waiting my own death from the plague, and now to dwell here. Not only with Husband, Rach, Good Boy, and even Charlie, but now to be honored with the presence of Stanley, the Ruler of the gods. I am truly a humbled fish.