Bye, Bye, I'll Try Not Cry

I take one last look at my room my brother's new room. I look at the walls that have had so many different posters over the years. I look at the carpet where my friends' sleeping bags had been rolled out on slumber parties. I look out the window that kept me cool in the summer.

One last goodbye. Then I would be gone from this city. The city where I had taken my first steps, where I had made my first friends and had the best moments of my life.

A tear escapes my eye and slides down my cheek. I stick my tongue out and taste the salty tear.

"Eek!" I try to spit it out after remembering that tears were made out of our body's sweat and mucus.

Sighing, I stroll out of my room and hurry downstairs. I see my older sister Sia with her textbooks and a glass of orange juice.

"Sia, I just wanted to say that I'm really sorry for stealing your clothes or annoying you when you had your friends over. I really hope you can forgive me before I leave and-"

"Not now Natalie, I have to study. Leave me alone, I have too much homework due," She flips the page and starts taking notes in her notebook.

"But I'm leav-"

"Did you not hear me? Go away and let me concentrate!" She doesn't even look up from the stupid textbook.

Tears sting my eyes and I walk out of the kitchen and head to the backyard.

"Tommy? Tommy, there you are," I wrap my younger brother in a hug but he starts to wriggle out of it.

"I am seven years old now. I'm too old for hugs," He humphs and crosses his arms.

I bite the inside of my cheek to stop me from laughing.

"Okay, big boy, I wanted to tell you how much I'll miss you. You always make me laugh and..." I trail off as he raises one eyebrow.

"When did you learn how to do that?" I ask him, he had always asked me how to do it but had never learned.

"Stop being boring. I'm going to go play with my friends."

"Just don't forget me after I leave, okay?"

He nods quickly and runs away.

Why does nobody care? Were they not going to miss me?

I walk inside and go up to my parent's room.

"Mom? Dad?"

"Did you pack everything? Are you sure you're not forgetting anything?" My mom hurdles question after question on me.

"Yes, Mom, yes. I have everything. Where's Dad?" I look around.

"He's inside the study working."

My shoulders slump.

"That's fine, I'll say bye to him later. Mom, I'm going to miss you so much. I love you to Pluto and back."

"Nat, I don't have time for this. I need to call your aunt and make sure she remembers when to pick you up from the airport. She never remembers anything."

"Yeah, um, okay. Just call me every day okay?"

"No! If I do, you'll just get homesick!" My mom exclaims. She leaves me standing there and goes to call my aunt.

"Knock, knock," I rap my knuckles on the door of my study. Dad always loved playing knock-knock jokes with me.

"Come in."

"You're not supposed to say that Dad," I scold him playfully.

He doesn't respond, just keeps on typing on his MacBook's keyboard.

"Dad, you know I'm leaving in a few hours. You're going to regret not talking to me right now," I smile knowing he'll turn around now.

But he doesn't and I frown.

"Dad, before I go, I want you to know that you're the best dad in the world, and I love you. I'll miss you a lot."

"Yes, I know. I have a lot of work and I'm really busy. I can't talk right now."

Nobody wants to talk to me. Not even my own parents. Maybe all of them never even loved me. They were just waiting to get rid of me.

I take out my hoodie and slip it on. I put my phone in the jeans pocket and go for a walk.

I'll go to the park. Yeah, that's a good idea. The park always makes me feel better.

I start running and the light summer breeze blows my hair around.

What did I do wrong? Was I not a good enough daughter?

I start running faster and tears run freely run down my face.

I start crossing the street and I hear a honk. I turn my head right just in time to see a bright red Honda coming straight at me.

And I see blackness.

*********

My eyelids feel heavy but I force them open.

"She's awake! Doctor! Call the Doc!" I hear a female voice yell. Some other person runs out of the door.

"Where am I?" I ask but it comes out like "Werami?

"Shhh. It's okay. You're in the hospital right now. Your family is waiting outside. The-" She gets interrupted by my mom rushing in. Her face is all wet and she sobs.

"My baby!"

"Ma'am, I need you to get out! The patient needs to rest."

"Natalie! You're awake!" my dad comes in with who I assume is the doctor. My siblings follow them with a red-faced nurse who looks like she just ran a mile.

"We're so sorry Natalie! We were trying to prank you but then you just left and then we got a call from Alessia's mom saying that somebody ran you over and... I'm so sorry!" My mom grabs my hands.

"Ma'am! She is not in any condition to talk right now!" the doctor sounds angry. "We don't even know if she'll make it!"

The room gets silent with those words.

"What do you she might not make it?" My dad grabs the doctor's shoulders and shakes him. "She has to make it! She can't just not make it!"

A sob escapes Tommy's mouth and my sister hugs him close.

My vision starts to blur and some machine starts beeping.

The nurse looks to the doctor, her eyes widening. Some kind of silent understanding dawns between them.

"No." My sister whispers.

"It's okay," I say. I'm vaguely aware that my voice sounds like a mouse, quiet and high-pitched.

"Don't," I take a deep breath. "Don't blame yourselves. I forgive you."

And with those words, all consciousness slips away from me.