Slimedog Superhero with Superpowers

What I’m about to share with you just might be a surprise, but not my German chemist idols Robert Wilhelm Bunsen a German chemist who, with Gustav Kirchhoff, about 1859 observed that each element emits a light of characteristic wavelength. Such studies opened the field of spectrum analysis, which became of great importance in the study of giving human beings superpowers from the Sun and Stars and also led me almost immediately to the discovery of two alkali-group chemicals like cesium and rubidium.

I realize this scientific kind of talk may not impress you in how this information led to Slime dog getting his superpowers from what I invented in 2018.

After graduating from Mount St. Joseph University with a Ph.D. in Chemistry. I had the unique opportunity to work with high-tech equipment in on-campus labs as well as participate in co-op experiences with industrial and research corporations around the world. I was feeling like Dr. Victor Frankenstein. 

I will pioneer a new way, explore unknown powers and unfold to the world the deepest mysteries of my creation.   

After developing the chemical processes and the meaningless unintelligent mind living humans beings. I gained an insight into the creation of life and would give life to my own idiot superhero. I had invented a sleeping gas serum of oneirogenic general anesthetic that could be used to put subjects into a state in which they are not conscious of what is happening around them. Incapacitating agent is a related general term for "knockout gases" or "KO gas" that ideally render a person unable to harm themselves or others, regardless of consciousness. Most sleeping gases have undesirable side effects or are effective at doses that approach toxicity. Examples of modern volatile anesthetics that may be considered sleeping gases are halothane vapor, methyl propyl ether, methoxyflurane, and the undisclosed fentanyl derivative delivery system used by the FSB in the Moscow theater hostage crisis. Possible side effects might not prevent use of sleeping gas by superhero criminals willing to rob and steal money who I will carefully control its stupid mind.  

There are reports of thieves spraying sleeping gases on campers or in train compartments in some parts of Europe. Alarms are sold to detect and alert to such attacks so a potential risk is believed by some people. Fictional use of sleeping gas often involves stealth, as does criminal use of sleeping pills and poisons.  

That display of my knowledge in knockout gases was just to give you a clue into my mad scientist mind.

As fate would have it or my ingenious planned to find someone dumb enough that the world would never miss.

I had placed an ad in one of those sleazy magazine that I was looking for someone to drive my 1975 Lincoln Mark V to California for $1,800 dollars.

I must have interviewed over 72 people when Raymond Slimedog Jones answered my ad. One look at the 6ft underfed subject who wore his pants down below his skinny butt I knew he was the one.

I told him that I trusted him to drive my car to its final resting place. He said sure dude whatever. I asked him to name his poison as we would celebrate him getting the assignment. He looked at me as if I was asking him to drink some hemlock until I showed him a bottle of Cir Roc. In minutes after his first sip he passed out. I asked him while he was going out that didn’t your mother ever teach you to never except drinks from strangers for any reason or didn’t you ever watch the Jeffery Dahmer story?

I kept him under sedation until everyone knew that I had found someone to drive the car through the same ad.

Now that I had my subject it was time to make him a superhero with superpowers.

I did do a criminal background check on Raymond “Slimedog” Jones and he had a long list of criminal activity from being a petty thief to grand theft auto. He had spent 80 percent of his 25 years of life in and out of reform schools and prison. He also lived homeless on the streets.

The first thing I did was to remove that part of his brain that would allow my project specimen not to fail with superhuman strength and agility similar to Under Dog. He would feel and act like a member of the X-Men when I finished with him.

I gave my Chinese tailor his measurements after designing him a superhero costume. While his brain lived in the heart of la la land I injected him with enough steroids that he now looked like Mr. Atlas with his clothes off.

When it was time for me to inject him with the superpower of being able to blow knockout gas out of his mouth, Slimedog screamed as if he had finally met Satan in person.

When he awoke to the new world he would be living in. He asked me who I was. I said that’s not important as I handed him his uniform.

What does the “S” stand for he requested to know. Well it doesn’t stand for Superman, maybe more like Stupidman. You will be called Slimedog!

I forgot to mention that I also programed his new mind to only obey me. Get dressed and stop asking questions. He did as he was told.

Creating Slimedog cost me a pretty penny so it was time for him to prove his worth by using his superpower of having the ability to knock out anyone just from a blow from his breath.

His first mission was to hold up the Bottom City Bank in Boulder, Colorado. 

Everyone in the bank thought he was a comic book hero idiot when he couldn’t read the note I gave him to speak to the laughing teller. All the while laughing with her hands covering her mouth, she helplessly told him that she didn’t know what he wanted.

My superhero Slimedog never got the chance to use his superpower. While he stood there like a bump on a log until the police arrived to carry him off to a mental facility.

My only regrets after his arrest was that I should have chosen a better subject and never meddled with nature through my mad scientist creation.