It's Going To Work…

"Are you sure it’s going to work?"

"It’s going to work."

"Are you sure he will come?"

"He will come."

"How can you be so sure?"

"I saw it in his eyes."

Siri was feeling breathless in excitement. It had been ten years since she had seen the walking, breathing Rueben. Her Rueben. Her only forever. Her hands were trembling, and she found it difficult to push through the crowd. The festive season had started. The whole city was decked up in lights and decorations. For the first time in ten years, Siri was feeling happiness and excitement again. The festive feel had started percolating through the layers and layers of barrier around her heart. The barriers that she had built around herself to prevent happiness from reaching her. They were shattering at last. If she could meet her beloved today, they would fall apart entirely, and she would be free. Free of guilt. Free of agony. And she would be able to move on, probably.

"Come on, girl. Move fast," Neena looked back at her and shook her head.

"I am, I am." Siri walked faster to catch up with her friend.

"Ah… he will come to meet me, right? Did he mind anything about the venue?" Siri again asked in a doubtful voice.

"I explained to him that it’s the best place. Nobody will come searching for the two of you at a graveyard," Neena said, squeezing her friend’s shoulder to comfort the aching soul.

"Okay," Siri nodded and started walking, head bowed down in anticipation, in dread. It was the kind of feeling that one got when one was too excited about something. Along with the hope and excitement, a worry lingered - what if something went wrong?

It broke Siri’s heart to remember that for ten years, the poor boy had stayed away from his country, from family and friends to fend for his aching heart. The heart that Siri had broken. She did not intend to, but she broke it all the same.

She regretted it. She could do anything to undo it. But she got too late, too wasted for any undoing. For the initial few weeks after the incident, she was shattered and lost. It took her time to gather herself up, to convince herself that she could face her Rueben and explain to him everything, and to bid a final farewell. She had run to her beloved, but by that time, he was gone. He had taken the ride himself. She knew it was never his intention to leave her behind, but in the end, probably the poor soul had tried to find peace in solitude. He had chosen a life of intense work pressure to forget her, to forget them.

For the last ten years, she had waited for his return to see him one more time. She had wished her Reuben would move forward. But apparently, he had not. He was still alone, away from everything that was his, that reminded him of her. It broke her heart to see him suffer like this. Today, she would convince him to move forward and give him that forward push he needed. Probably then she would be able to move on too.

"What about the gate?" Neena asked upon reaching the graveyard.

"Is it not open? It always remains open," Siri asked.

"At night too?"

"Hm. Push it. Check."

Neena pushed the iron gate, and it parted a little with a loud clank. Near the gate's top, an iron chain was loosely coiled, allowing the gate to open just enough for a single person to pass. Siri and Neena walked in. The alleyway leading to the graveyard was empty now. People had taken their fun and frolic to the main roads, ignoring the darker alleys, letting Siri and Neena to themselves. Even the stray dogs had followed the people to the high streets. Nobody noticed them here.

Due to the festivities and the lights, the graveyard was somewhat bright too. Siri moved through the series of headstones one by one effortlessly. Not that she needed light to find her way, she came here often to brood and cry or to meet her friend Neena. She could even find her way blindfolded. Neena followed her silently. Upon reaching the red maple tree, they stopped. This maple tree marked Siri's peace haven. It was her mother's grave, and today it was their meeting place too. Rueben would come here today. Neena sat down on a broken headstone that had fallen off ages ago. Siri was too stirred to sit still. Neena followed her with her eyes as she walked around.

"Is he angry with me?" Siri asked, at last, stopping in front of Neena.

"He has every right to, doesn’t he? You never allowed me to tell him the real story," Neena sulked.

"He is better off this way. People need someone to blame for their woes, to take the burden off from their soul. I want to be that for him. Today he will come to know the truth anyway."

"Do you think it helped him? While talking over the phone, I used to think, maybe he is making progress, but I saw him today. I saw the pain in his eyes. Still raw and real. He has not moved a single millimetre, Siri. And ten long years have passed in between."

"He will. I will make sure today that he moves on. I will lie. I will plead. I will threaten. I will insul… I will, I will do anything that is needed…." Siri choked up. Pushing him away would break her heart. But she needed him to live a life. A happy, fulfilling life. She would see him from far away and be happy to see his life bloom. She would live her life through him.

For a long time, Siri cried silently. Neena let her be. Over the years, the two friends had grown to know each other even more. Neena had been with Rueben and her since the very beginning. When their families opposed their relationship, Neena had been their rock. When they had planned to elope, it was a spur of a moment decision and Neena was abroad on a field project. When Neena came back and found out about Siri, everything was over. Rueben had left. Siri had broken beyond repair. Siri had met Neena and requested her to keep the secret from Rueben that she would never have a life with him again. After much convincing, Neena had agreed, but she had said, "This is unfair, Siri. He has a right to know the truth." Later, as Siri learned to bear with her new reality, Neena stayed with her like real friends do, ignoring their differences and being her only connection to her Rueben.

Looking at Neena, Siri felt grateful that Neena was still by her side.

"Thanks for being there," Siri said.

"Hm?" Neena looked up from her mobile, "What?"

"Thanks for everything, Neena."

Neena got up and hugged her, "My pleasure that you chose me as your friend."

"After I go away, Neena, be his support if he needs any."

"I will. I promise. I just want you two to be happy, in whatever ways possible."

Then Neena released Siri and said, "What’s taking him so long? It’s 9.30 already. He should have been here by 9."

Neena tried to call Rueben, but the phone remained not reachable.

"Let him take his time. If he decides not to meet me today, I dunno what I will do, but I deserve it, don't I?" Siri said, sighing. Rueben had every right to ignore her. She had abandoned him once; why could he not do the same to her?

Siri started walking around again. At one point, she felt desolate, at one point panicked, at one point, thrilled. But slowly, as time kept passing by, despair took over all her mind.

Neena had got restless too. She was continuously trying to call him. She had probably sent him a hundred messages by now. Siri walked up to her friend.

"He is determined to break my heart today, Neena. I just hope he doesn’t end up hurting himself more."

Neena hugged her again. Suddenly, it occurred to Siri, what if what had happened to her ten years back, had happened to Rueben today? She suddenly jerked up and pushed Neena away.

"What if something has happened to him? How to know Neena? Can you contact his driver?"

"Nothing will happen. Stop thinking bullshit."

"Find him, please. Call his home and check when he left."

"Relax now. I cannot call his home. They don't like me."

Siri walked about restlessly, then stopped to ask, "Did he guess?"

"Guess what?" Neena looked up from her phone.

"About me?"

"How can he? I left that part for you to tell."

"Please make him come today, Neena. I want to be free of all the guilts. I can't let him suffer anymore. I will have to make him move on."

Siri felt exhausted. All the last ten years, she could not remember how she had passed. All she could remember was the car crash. When she got aware again, she found her body crushed and broken. The terrible pain in her body was nothing in comparison to the pain she felt in her heart. She lost all her desire to live. She could never burden her Rueben with her broken, mangled self. Then one day, all her physical pains subsided. But the heartache stayed. When she found that Rueben had left, thinking that she had broken her promise, she had hoped he would move on. But the hurt that he still held on to, the betrayal that he felt, did not let him move on. Today she was determined to correct everything. Nothing could happen to him today.

"What's the time now?" Siri asked.

"It's 11.40 already. I am really.." Neena said when her phone started ringing.

"Hello, yeah.. yes, yes… where is he?"

"Where?"

"What! No," Neena stole a glance at Siri.

"I will be there. What’s the address?"

Neena disconnected the phone and walked towards Siri in sceptical steps.

"Ah.. Siri.. I.. we have to go.."

"How bad is it? Hope he did not suffer much.." Siri asked calmly.

Neena frowned at her, "He will be fine, dear.."

"I have harmed him again. I should have stayed away. There's a reason why people stay away from entities like me… He will not be fine anymore. Not in the way I want him to be… I can feel it now."

"Hey, he will be okay. They have shifted him to a good hospital. Come, let's go.."

"No. I will stay here. I should have stayed away from him. "

"Siri, we should hurry. Don't waste time. Come."

"You go. I can't see him like that. Take good care of my Rueben, okay? Let him take rest.. at least he will not suffer anymore… you go, I will wait here for you like I always do…."

"What nonsense are you talking about? No…"

"Siri is right, Neena. I will suffer no more."

Neena jumped, hearing the voice they knew so well.

They all fell silent. Everything around them fell silent too. The dark night, the rustling leaves, the buzzing crickets. Even the chill October wind blew soundlessly.

Siri stood frozen at her spot, looking at Reuben. He looked beautiful. He looked serene, like a dream. She dared not to blink, in case he vanished. But the wonder in her eyes slowly changed to agony. She realized that her Rueben had crossed over to her realm now. Her eyes got blurry.

Rueben was looking at her unblinkingly too. Now seeing her eyes tear up, he moved forward.

"This is unfair, you know? I had thought of dying a million times over, but each time, I stopped myself thinking, I should meet you one final time. Nobody told me what was going on with you. When I left, I was furious. I thought staying in a different country would calm my rage. I was wrong. I gave up this time," Rueben said in his enchanting voice, walking up to Siri.

"Ask Neena how much I begged her to tell me about you. Every time she told me that you were doing great, you were happy and didn’t want to see me, I knew she was lying. I knew there was more to it. But you didn't contact me ever. I was angry with you, Siri. I returned this time to seek you out and meet you one last time. And trust me, I was determined to kill off anyone if I found them hurting you. And I would have died at the end. Living without you was anyway meaningless to me... But this? Siri this is not done love. How could you?"

"Only if I knew the truth, I would have come to you long, long back. I wasted ten years in this damn world, Siri. Do you understand how difficult it was for me? ....Am so sorry I didn't seek you out earlier."

Siri could not control herself anymore and broke down. Rueben grabbed her and held her in his embrace.

"I am so sorry. I got so selfish that I wanted you to live a life for both of us. But what else could I have wanted Rue? Living a life with the love of my life was my greatest dream. I wanted the same for you. I had hoped that you would love someone else again if you knew I was happy without you. I knew of nothing better to ask for you, love. I, I…" Siri could not continue further.

"Hey, hey.. don’t cry. We are here now, and that’s what matters, isn’t it?" Rueben hugged Siri closely and put a hand over her head to comfort her.

"By the way, what exactly are we, Siri? Are we ghosts or fleeting souls, or what else? What do you call yourself?"

Siri smiled against Reuben’s chest despite herself.

"Tell me. I am the newborn whatever. Guide me. Are we going to stay like this forever? I won’t mind, though…"

Siri looked up to face Rueben with tearful eyes, yet filled with joy, "I dunno. I just know that wherever we go now, I will be content, and that is all that matters. But I still regret…"

"Shhh! No more nonsense from now on. I have got you, and that’s all I need. But I have a feeling that when ghosts or spirits get what they desire, they start becoming humans again."

"Hm?" Siri looked up again, "That's impossible! There’s no turning back."

"You know the best, but I have a feeling that they do."

"I dunno…"

"Mn. I think they do. I remember having read such a story. I have a feeling we are becoming humans. See…" Rueben showed a cut in his index figure, which started bleeding on pressure.

"Are you hurt, baby!" Siri immediately grabbed his finger and put it in her mouth.

"I am still here, lovebirds," Neena said, after coughing lightly.

Both Siri and Rueben looked at her.

"Mind going home? I’m feeling cold. I was human from the beginning, if you two forgot," Neena pouted.

"I don’t want to go back to that house. They will again cage me up if they find out that I am becoming human again," Siri said.

"Okay, then let’s come to my place. Will you?" Rueben asked with a loving smile.

Siri could go anywhere, even hell, if Rueben asked her. She nodded, and all three started walking towards the gate.

"Are you sure we will become human again?" Siri whispered to Rueben.

"I hope so. It’s like fairytales. Probably fairytales do have some basis after all," Rueben gave her a side hug. She smiled contentedly.

A thousand doubts circled in her mind. But she had just seen Rueben bleed. Silently she bit her finger and tasted blood. She frowned to herself and contemplated on what to feel about it.

***

Outside the gate, Rueben nodded subtly at a man standing with his back pressed against the graveyard wall and walked on.

Neena stopped beside the man and nodded, "Thanks, doc. I think she has started believing that she is not a ghost anymore. I don’t know what we would have done without you."

The man smiled, "We still have a long way to go. PTSD can be very devastating. Siri is lucky that she has got you two. And I am lucky too. Not many of my patients are fortunate like her."

Neena nodded to him again and walked forward. Seeing her two best friends together again overwhelmed her. It had been a long journey since that fateful day when the accident had occurred ten years back. They had indeed planned to elope, but Siri’s car had crashed on the way. Siri had been in a coma, and then she had lost her memories. When she got her memories back, about a few months ago, she believed that she was dead and was a spirit now. She had built up her own story and refused to meet Rueben altogether in the fear that she would spoil his life. Rueben had suffered and struggled all through. Then her psychiatrist found this hypothetical solution.

They all hoped Siri would start walking on the forward path from now on. One day she would probably remember everything, then it would be perfect. For now, this was enough.

Neena sucked in a deep breath and whispered to herself, "It’s going to work," and slid into the driver’s seat of her Benz and drove her best friends to their forever.