You remind me of my dead wife...

Submitted into Contest #182 in response to: Write a story where someone’s paranoia is justified.... view prompt


Thriller Mystery

This story contains themes or mentions of physical violence, gore, or abuse.

Well that was super weird… I'm not sure what that was all about. Maybe I heard him wrong? Yea..that could be it. Seeing as my hearing isn't very good and I often misunderstand people all the time. I know I had to hear him wrong..forsure i did. But what could he have possibly meant by ‘you remind me of my dead wife.’ I don't know why but when he said that, it gave me chills. I’ve barely ever spoken to that guy and that's what he tells me? Whatever..i'm probably overthinking it. I just need to get some rest..yea sleep is what i need. Alright, goodnight. 

Liliana closes her diary and heads to bed, and although she was tired, her thoughts kept her wide awake. 

The next morning, she gets a knock at the door and it’s her work buddy, Carlos. 

“Damn chica, you look terrible, you aint get no sleep?”

Liliana shakes her head, “No Carlos…I literally fell asleep a couple hours ago.”

Carlos barges his way in and gets a drink from the fridge. 

“Well what kept you up? Please tell me you stopped watching those late night tv crime shows” Carlos takes a sip of his orange juice. 

Liliana closes the front door and takes a seat at the kitchen table, “Yes yes, I haven’t watched those in ages..but that's not what was keeping me up.” 

“Gurl, spit it out already!” 

Liliana takes a huge breath, “My neighbor.. You know the guy across the street?”

“No, not really” Carlos takes another sip of juice. 

“Ok, remember that night we went to the club to celebrate my promotion at work and then I got really sick?”

Carlos raises his eyebrows, “Oh yes girl I remember that night, you had one drink and was already throwing up.”

“Yes, and we were thinking someone had drugged me?”

Carlos nods his head, “Yes, that was a wild night”

“Yes yes, and then remember when I threw up in the bushes and my neighbor from across the street saw and came over to see if everything was okay?”

Carlos nods his head, “Oh yea I remember now, he’s kinda tall and linky built”

“ Yes! Him!” Liliana says.

“He even helped me carry you into your house, man I forgot about that night..” Carlos finishes up his juice. 

“Yes okay, so him. I went out yesterday to get the mail and I happened to see him, he waved at me and I waved back.”

“Mmk..then what?” Carlos asks.

“Well, he–” Carlos cuts her off.

“Don't tell me you slept with that old man?” 

“WHAT? Carlos no! Of course not!” Lilana rolls her eyes. 

“Can you please let me finish telling you the story?”

Carlos nods, “Yes girl yes go ahead”

“...thank you. Anyways, so we just started having normal conversation.. You know from across the street, then he decided to walk over to me because he wanted to point out how pretty the flowers were in my garden.”

“Well…that's nice,” Carlos said. 

“It doesn't end there. We talk for a few more minutes and as i'm thinking the conversation is about to end, he says that I remind him of his dead wife.”

Carlos eyes widened, “Girl, what?”

Liliana nods her head up and down dramatically, “YES, isn't that so strange?”

“VERY,” Carlos agrees.

Liliana gets up from her chair and paces back and forth, “ I mean not only did he say that, but after he said it he just has this cold blank stare..looking right at me. I felt so uncomfortable.”

“But my thing is, like what would make him say that? Did you know his wife passed?” 

“Yea.. I think everybody in the neighborhood knew. But his wife had already passed since before I moved here” she responded. 

Carlos shakes his head, “uh uh, that don't sound right better lock your doors or something” 

“I always thought he was a bit odd but for him to say that… I don't know” 

“Either way, you better hope the mail lady doesn't ever get confused and drop off his mail here or your mail there…you don't want him needing any excuse to come talk to you girl” Carlos said firmly. 

Liliana agrees, “Yes you're right”

“Well, no need to keep moping around, we gotta go to work so hurry up and get ready!” 

Liliana hastily runs into the other room to get ready. 

Carlos mutters, “i mean you didn't have to do all that runnin girl, we still gon be late” 

Weeks and weeks go by and Liliana has forgotten all about her neighbor. With all the extra hours she's picked up at work, and the long nights out with Carlos, she hadn't even noticed the neighbor from across the street. 

One day, she goes out to check the mail and everything seems to be normal until she sees she received a piece of her neighbors mail, by accident. 

Ugh here we go

As she is about to head over to drop off his mail, she gets a strong urge to open it and see what it contains.

No, don't do it, don't be nosey.

She grabs her coat and heads for the door. But her thoughts are getting to her. She takes a look at the front of the letter

Hmm who is deidre?

She closes the door, takes off her coat and carefully tries to open the sealed envelope. 

I’ll just say I thought it was my mail, yeah, that should sound good.

The envelope lifts open and she pulls out what is inside. Enclosed is a handwritten letter addressed to her neighbor. She sits down on the couch and carefully reads it.

“Harold, you need to let it go. Please don't write to me anymore. I know you feel bad about what we did when your wife was alive, but she is dead now, she has been for some years now. So it's time to move on..i will always love you but goodbye harold.”

Woah…what the actual f—

She runs to the phone and tries to dial for Carlos but the phone seems to have no line, which is very strange. 


Liliana is confused as she tries to dial the number again but the line is still dead. 

What the heck, why can't I get through?

Still not getting a line, she grabs her coat and goes outside. 

Maybe something got plugged out somewhere

She walks around to the side of the house and tries to look for the problem. Footsteps approach her and she turns around swiftly. 

It's Carlos. She puts her hand over her chest, “Oh my god Carlos! You scared me.”

Carlos laughs, “ Girl its cold, why are you out here trying to be bob the builder”

“Look forget that, i have to tell you something about my neighbor–”

Lilaina stops mid sentence, “Oh wait, how did you know i was trying to fix my something??” 

“Because you're out here..” Carlos says

“Yea but I never told you why…”

“Girl so what! I'm cold, let's go inside..”

Liliana watches Carlos as he walks to her front door.

Carlos turns back and looks at her, “What?”

“It was you wasn't it?” She asks.

Carlos doesn't say anything.

“You drugged me that night, didn’t you?” 

Carlos walks up to Liliana, “Wow, so I guess she is smart, after all you did get that promotion that was supposed to be mine”

Liliana is shocked, all this time she thought she had a friend when in reality she was being watched and was friends with the enemy.

January 28, 2023 04:56

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Graham Kinross
22:55 Feb 05, 2023

Brutal twist at the end.


Nisaa A
01:33 Feb 08, 2023

😆 thanks Graham for the feedback, I wanted to keep the reader on their toes until the very end!


Graham Kinross
01:59 Feb 08, 2023

Well you can pay for the foot massage because the muscles in my toes are aching after that.


Nisaa A
02:45 Feb 08, 2023

You got it! Foot massage here we come 😝


Graham Kinross
03:52 Feb 08, 2023



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Lily Finch
02:33 Feb 02, 2023

Nisaa, this story has a good twist at the end. Some grammatical errors could be easily fixed. I like the premise but maybe the conversations between the two characters was enough in the end. Some errors I added here. Thanks for the good read. LF6 forsure i, i'm, eyes widened


Nisaa A
15:50 Feb 02, 2023

Hi Lily, thank you for giving me some feedback on my story. I'm sort of a beginner so this helps a lot with how to structure my future stories :) Question: How would I reword the "eyes widened" expression? :)


Lily Finch
16:17 Feb 02, 2023

Carlos, eyes wide, says, "Girl, what?" Just because everything else is in the present tense. Carlos nods, Carlos shakes, Carlos mutters. LF6


Nisaa A
14:21 Feb 03, 2023

Ahh okay that’s a good tip! Thanks 😀


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Wendy Kaminski
04:17 Jan 31, 2023

Whoa, that took an unexpected turn into wtf! Ugh, I really felt that betrayal and subsequent sheer panic. Great work hiding it until the end; I never suspected a thing (neither did she... yikes!). Enjoyable story, Nisaa! Welcome to the site! :)


Nisaa A
15:47 Feb 02, 2023

Hey Wendy! Appreciate your comment :) Thanks so much for welcoming me, I can't wait to upload more stories!


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