American Contemporary Inspirational

Help Needed

Claire leaned her aching head back on the bus headrest and tried to close her eyes. She was ten hours in to what was promised a 20 hour trip so figured she finally had time to relax enough to get some real sleep, if that was ever possible again. She had just stretched her legs in Tucson and let her cat, Patches, out of her carrier to use the makeshift litter tray and drink some water. The cat had already settled back into an afternoon nap.

Still feeling grittiness in her eyes, Claire rubbed them with the kerchief hanging around her neck. The same scarf used as a mask as she escaped her burning Altadena neighborhood on her one means of transportation, her trusty mountain bike outfitted with baskets for carrying groceries and other essentials. In this case her cat carrier and a cloth bag for all cat supplies. All the treasure she could gather to save.

The smoky smell lingered unmistakably. She had no idea when she would be able to take a much needed shower and change into one of the two changes of clothes she had in her backpack along with her laptop, phone and charger. And her mother's silver coins collection. The only earthly possessions she had remaining.

Sleep wouldn't come easy as the events of the last day recycled in her weary mind. Would she ever be able to erase the memory or fall a victim to PTSD? It didn't help that the only food she had consumed was snacks from the vending machine at the last stop. With her bank account being so depleted she prayed she was making the right decision striking out seeking help from her one remaining family member, Uncle Simon, living on a ranch in the Texas Hill Country. He sounded welcoming when she called him before deserting her bike at the bus station in LA. She pulled her hoodie closer around her as her eyes drifted shut.

She awoke in Austin for the bus transfer to a local carrier out to the small town of Wimberly. From there Claire would have to call Uncle Simon for a ride to his ranch or spring for an expensive uber driver. But Simon didn't answer so she left a desperate voice mail. Maybe it was too early in the morning or he was busy doing ranch chores. She tended to Patches' needs then noticed a coffee shop where she ordered a much needed cup. Deciding to try Simon in a little while before selecting an uber she settled at an outdoor patio table allowing Patches to explore on her harness leash as the displaced traveler took a good look around.

Product of an absentee father, Claire used to visit this place with her single mother, Rosanna, years ago as a child. Then it was a sleepy little town surrounded by junipers and ancient snarled oak trees, cacti and scruffy sage. Now it resembled a bustling city with chain hotels and restaurants along this outer approach. It will be interesting to see how much has changed along the route to Simon's rustic ranch. From what little she knew he had make significant progress transforming his working ranch into a touristy attraction in the now popular Hill Country. She doubted she would even recognize the old place.

Right now she didn't care. She would welcome any hospitality and perhaps there will be opportunity to stay and offer some kind of assistance while she got back on her feet. Since her mother died five years ago during the catastrophic Covid 19 epidemic she had been struggling on her own doing whatever part-time jobs that came her way while being a free-lance proof-reader for an LA publishing firm. A few months back she had applied for a promotion to editor but hadn't heard anything back yet. That probably meant there was no way she qualified for such a raise in pay position. Luckily, she could still work remotely out here in the wild countryside simply doing what she had been doing. The modest low-rise apartment complex in which she had her relatively low-rent place within biking distance to the main office no longer was standing since the strong Santa Anna winds had swept wildfires down from the mountains and she had to take flight in the middle of the night.

Just imagine. It had only been the week before she had sat along the five mile route in Pasadena enjoying the Rose Parade with a cheerful hope for the New Year! That had culminated a month long part-time job she had secured working on one of the famous floats pasting organic matter to foam board in whatever manner possible. Without family Claire didn't mind working through the holiday season. The funds earned with that gig and her last paycheck was all that stood between her and the streets. Wouldn't you know it, the monthly rent had been paid for an apartment that no longer existed? Finding a new home in the pricey market would be nearly impossible. As a small bit actress her mother had dreamed of more in the Hollywood Hills but nothing was holding Claire here anymore.

Now she remembered to count her blessings. Not everyone had made it out alive. And then there was also the tragic start of the New Year in New Orleans. Young people exactly like her trying to celebrate were plowed over by a maniac in a truck. Not exactly a Happy New Year so far.

“You don't see that everyday.”

“Huh? I'm sorry, are you talking to me?” Claire pushed her unruly curly hair back as she squinted up to a tall, lean Texan in a Stetson.

“You don't see a cat on a leash in these parts very often. Probably never.” He drawled in a not unpleasant way.

“Oh, we just got off a very long bus ride and she needs to stretch her legs like me but I don't want her to get lost. She is all I have left.”

“Uh, you do look a little rough. Pretty, but rough. Are you okay? Or do you need help?”

“Pretty rough is right! I, I've been through the gates of hell, I think.” Claire dabbed her tearing eyes at the first kind words anyone had spoken to her since her ordeal began.

“Hey! I didn't mean to make you cry. Mind if a guy sits and tries to make things right again? I can't leave a damsel in distress. I assure you I am a gentleman.”

“My mother taught me not to talk to strangers but I am grateful for your kindness.”

“Let me buy you breakfast then I won't be so much a stranger. I see your coffee is empty and this place has great biscuits and gravy with grits.”

“I am hungry. How could I refuse such an offer? Thank you.”

When he got back with the goods he straddled the bench and settled across from her as he served out the meal.

“So what brings you to town?”

“I'm hoping to visit my mother's only brother whom I haven't seen since I was a little girl.”

“Is he supposed to meet you here?”

“I said I would call when I arrived but he hasn't answered his phone yet. Probably busy with ranch chores.”

“Kind of a coincidence. A friend asked me to come here to meet his niece. He had a health incidence last evening so I delivered him to the hospital last night. Came back here this morning to look for a Claire Calhoun.”

“Oh, my goodness! Is Uncle Simon okay? I'm Claire Calhoun!”

“No kidding! Nice to meet y'all. Lefty Long, Simon's neighbor. Yep, he had a minor stroke and should recover fine but may need some help for a while.”

“Well, I'm here to help!”

Posted Jan 10, 2025
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30 likes 39 comments

Annie Persson
12:00 Mar 24, 2025

Hi! I'm back after a bit of a break for schoolwork, but as the first story of yours I've read in a while, I could recognise your writing style straight away! A very relatable story about the recent events, and it was very nicely written with a touch of romance at the end there. :)

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Mary Bendickson
16:18 Mar 24, 2025

Thanks and welcome back. Think yours is on my to read list today 😁.

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Amanda Stogsdill
20:50 Jan 19, 2025

Beautiful! The world needs more kind people; Claire's situation is revelant right now. Trusting a stranger can be a good thing, you never know who you'll ⠍⠑⠑⠞⠲

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Mary Bendickson
02:42 Jan 21, 2025

Thank you for your thoughtful comment 😊.

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22:14 Jan 18, 2025

Such a timely tale. No doubt there will be many other tales from survivors of this terrible conflagration. Enjoyed yours. Thanks to Clair for rescuing her cat! I imagine many pets died because they couldn't be saved. It's been an awful time for those who live in LA.

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Mary Bendickson
19:21 Jan 19, 2025

I spent so much time watching the news coverage that's all I had on my mind when finally started to write.

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Philip Ebuluofor
18:35 Jan 15, 2025

Claire hit me as your real name and Mary pen name. Am I right? I don't know why it just happened and I went back up to be sure. Fine work once again.

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Mary Bendickson
18:59 Jan 15, 2025

Mary is my real name. I have a granddaughter named Claire and for some reason chose to use her name here. She has unruly curly hair. I noticed at least two other writers I read this week chose 'Claire' as their main character.
I have a nephew living in the area impacted by the firestorm in California. Took me a long time to choose a topic to write about this week but since I watched a lot of the news coverage I thought I would use it in a story. I wrote it Friday afternoon just in time to enter it in contest. Didn't have much time to think about names for characters.😄

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Philip Ebuluofor
19:14 Jan 15, 2025

I can feel its common modern name over there.

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Ari Walker
16:45 Jan 15, 2025

Oh gosh. This made me cry.

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Mary Bendickson
18:22 Jan 15, 2025

Oh, wow! I know I was crying for all those people watching their homes destroyed. Didn't know what to write all week then finally decide to write something about coming out of the fires.

Thanks for the like, comment and follow. And welcome to Reedsy.

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Lily Finch
03:55 Jan 15, 2025

Mary, some strengths in your story.

1. Emotional Depth: The story effectively conveys Claire's sense of loss, anxiety, and desperation, allowing readers to connect with her struggles. The backdrop of wildfires and the impact of the pandemic add layers to her emotional state.

2. Rich Setting: Vivid descriptions of both Claire's past and present environments create a strong sense of place. The contrast between her childhood visits to Wimberly and the changes she's witnessed now enhances the theme of transformation.

3. Relatable Protagonist: Claire's character is believable and relatable. Readers can empathize with her challenges, such as financial instability, loss of family, and the search for a sense of belonging.

4. Strong Themes: themes of survival, resilience, and the quest for family support are prominent. Your story addresses broader societal issues like the impact of natural disasters and the pandemic, making it relevant and thought-provoking.

5. Narrative Style: Your use of an intimate, reflective narrative voice allows readers to delve into Claire's thoughts and feelings, enhancing the emotional resonance of the story.

6. Symbolism: Objects like the kerchief and the cat symbolize Claire's struggle and connection to her past. The ranch and her uncle represent a potential refuge and hope for recovery.

7. Tension and Uncertainty: Claire's uncertainty about the future keeps readers engaged, as they wonder how she'll navigate her circumstances and what awaits her at her uncle's ranch.

8. Life's Fragility: Your story captures the fragility of life and the unpredictable nature of circumstances, making it a poignant reminder of how quickly one's situation can change.

Overall, these strengths contribute to a compelling narrative that evokes empathy and reflection from the audience.

Some areas where your story could be improved are:

1. Pacing: Your story might benefit from varying the pacing, particularly in sections where Claire reflects on her past. Slowing down during moments of emotional significance can help heighten the impact, while speeding up during action or tension can maintain momentum.

2. Character Development: While Claire is well-defined, further development of secondary characters, such as Uncle Simon, could add depth to the story. Enhancing their backgrounds and motivations would create a richer context for Claire’s journey.

3. Clarity in Backstory: Some aspects of Claire’s past, particularly her relationship with her mother and the implications of her father being absent, could be elaborated upon. This would provide deeper context for her emotional state and motivations.

4. Dialogue: Incorporating more dialogue could enhance character interactions and provide opportunities for readers to see Claire’s personality through her conversations, especially with her uncle or during her time in the coffee shop.

5. Show, Don’t Tell: Certain emotions and situations could be shown through actions or sensory details rather than explained outright. This would draw readers in more actively and evoke feelings without relying solely on exposition.

6. Conflict Resolution: The resolution of some conflicts, particularly regarding her finances and job situation, could be more clearly outlined. Exploring her options or presenting a plan could increase the narrative stakes and maintain reader engagement.

7. Transitions: Some transitions between scenes or thoughts could be smoothed out for better flow. Ensuring that each section connects seamlessly will improve readability and keep the narrative cohesive.

8. Exploration of themes: While the themes of loss and resilience are established, further exploration of what home means to Claire post-crisis could provide a richer thematic depth. This could involve her reflecting on how her perspective on home and family has changed.

By addressing these areas, the story could achieve greater clarity, emotional depth, and engagement, ultimately enhancing the reader's experience.

Overall, well done, Mary.

LF6

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Mary Bendickson
18:18 Jan 15, 2025

Well, thank you very much for this insightful analysis. All very good points. I know I am weak in many aspects generally speaking. Especially when I compare myself to other much more experienced writers. Other than what I remember from high school and community college I have not studied the art very much. I am always afraid I'll get so caught up in the rules I won't let it flow. This story I wrote on Friday afternoon after finally getting an idea. I watched the horrible fires in LA all week and thought how would someone survive such a disaster. Thank you again for this indents comment.

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Nate Brady
22:25 Jan 15, 2025

Mary this was an AI generated Comment. Please report it.

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Lily Finch
01:47 Jan 16, 2025

Hacked

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Hannah Lynn
18:37 Jan 14, 2025

Great story Mary! I read your comments and hope your nephew is okay.

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Mary Bendickson
18:46 Jan 14, 2025

With these new winds I need to double check again. Thanks for the concern. And the like.

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John Rutherford
07:45 Jan 14, 2025

CC and C of CC will be OK. Thanks for sharing, Mary.

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Martin Ross
18:26 Jan 13, 2025

I think about my many travels and lonely nights as a reporter/writer, and that feeling of revigoration every time I happened on a kind or simply equally lonely stranger. People with their own cool story who reminded me of the richness of the world and our common joys and woes. This is a beautiful reminder of those encounters, and would make a great first chapter or independent movie pitch. I admire your ability to inspire in such a relatable way. Great job!!

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Rebecca Detti
22:41 Jan 12, 2025

Oh goodness Mary. Such a touching story and I imagine many people looking to provide help where they can even if they’ve lost a lot themselves. I was so sad to hear the news from New Orleans as well. I remember enjoying celebrations there over 20 years ago. So shocking, sending all good thoughts to your nephew in LA.

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Mary Bendickson
02:13 Jan 13, 2025

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers.

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Daniel Rogers
23:29 Jan 11, 2025

Those looking to help will find those needing help. Great story about the recent tragedy.

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Mary Bendickson
01:36 Jan 13, 2025

Thanks for the fitting comment.

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Anthony Andrés
21:47 Jan 11, 2025

Mary, thank you for such a wonderful story. I live in Los Angeles and the past few days dreary. You can see nonstop smoke and flames in almost every direction. So many people I know have evacuated or lost their homes. It’s devastating. Your story reminded me of what Mr. Roger’s said during trials, “Look for the helpers.” Love that despite everything, Claire is willing to help. A beautiful message in a beautiful story for such an ugly time.

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Mary Bendickson
22:23 Jan 11, 2025

So sorry about what you are through out there. Have a nephew too close to the epicenter. May God be with all of you. Been watching so much of the coverage almost didn't write a story this week. Then decided to channel the emotion there.

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Thomas Wetzel
16:14 Jan 11, 2025

Kizmet! Cool story. I lived in Scotts Valley, CA back in August 2020 during the CZU Lightning Complex Fires. Craziest thing I have ever seen. Woke up at 3am to the sound of thunder and walked out onto my upstairs deck to see lightning bolts landing in almost every direction about every 10 seconds for over an hour. No rain at all. The next morning there was a layer of ash covering everything, the sky was a smoky dark maroon color and by the end of the day we were forced to evacuate the neighborhood. When we came back about a week later the street was lined with firetrucks from everywhere, Seattle to Sante Fe. So cool that those guys all came to help. Love those dudes. True heroes.

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Mary Bendickson
21:54 Jan 11, 2025

So sorry you had to survive through one of these. Spent too much time this week watching the devastation and praying for them. I have a nephew living within two miles of Altadena in Pasadena. Haven't heard yet how much closer the fires have come to his family's small garage-sized abode. I have a cousin that used to live in Wimberly so have visited there years ago. Probably wouldn't recognize it now. Decided to connect the two when I finally got around to writing something this week. Yes, the outpouring of help is inspirational. Thanks for liking.

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Viga Boland
15:56 Jan 11, 2025

What a wonderful, timely story Mary, and so well written. Loved it!

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Mary Bendickson
16:29 Jan 11, 2025

Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it. Been so touched by this devastation. Have a nephew too close to the action.

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Rebecca Lewis
15:48 Jan 11, 2025

This story is a great start — it’s got emotional depth, a strong protagonist, and some intriguing hooks to keep things moving. I like Claire’s character; she’s resilient but struggling, which makes her feel relatable. Her connection to Patches adds a sweet, personal touch that softens the heavier parts of her story. The setting is well done too. You can almost feel the smoky aftermath of the wildfires and the bittersweet memories tied to the Texas Hill Country. The shift from devastation to this new, bustling place feels like the perfect setup for a fresh start, but also has that undercurrent of uncertainty. The pacing works. The slow, reflective start lets you connect with Claire’s situation, and then Lefty comes in at just the right moment to move things along. I like him — his Texan charm is warm and believable without being cheesy. The dialogue feels natural, and his kindness gives Claire just a little bit of hope after everything she’s been through. The setup for what’s next is solid. There’s a lot of room for this to go somewhere interesting- how will Claire adjust to ranch life? What’s Lefty’s role going to be? Can Simon recover, and will Claire stick around to help? The story has a lot of potential, and it’s off to a strong, emotional start.

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Mary Bendickson
16:15 Jan 11, 2025

Thank you for this in depth analysis.

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Alexis Araneta
15:03 Jan 11, 2025

Heartwarming, Mary. Loved the description of the landscape. At least, Claire will be okay. Great work !

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Mary Bendickson
16:16 Jan 11, 2025

Happy you like it.

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Trudy Jas
13:31 Jan 11, 2025

Lovely story. Knew she'd be alright. The beginning of a long friendship?

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Mary Bendickson
16:19 Jan 11, 2025

Could be even though I had no intention of starting another one right now😄

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Darvico Ulmeli
08:11 Jan 11, 2025

Your way of writing makes every story exciting and a joy to read.
Nice one.

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Mary Bendickson
21:57 Jan 11, 2025

Thank you. I've been emotional this week with this devastation. Have a nephew too close to the epicenter.

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