My life ruined for the better

Who am I kidding strolling through this library? I don't read. Unlike most people who choose Netflix over books, my reason is I'm too depressed to invest the time needed in reading.

But here I am, strolling. I stay next to the librarian. I don't go for the returned items shelf, since it gets filled by the librarians. I want to see the person returning the book. It gives me the motivation to read the returned book. It's as if I'm fulfilling the start of a strange porn video, where a man waits for a woman to return a book just like me, but then finds a phone number inside, and swiftly it turns into an affair.

Here I wait, and I see an elderly woman return a strange and heavy dark-purple book with no illustration or text on the cover. Like the books in rich people's libraries.

I pick this book up, not knowing where this book is going to take me over the next few weeks.

At home, I lay in bed, and open the book on the first page.

"This is a time-shifting book, and should be read carefully."

What a mysterious beginning, I think.

I move on.

"There are many things in life, but at any given time, especially when we are with other people, there seems to be a duality that causes some people to be introverted. Being introverted is not understood by society for what it really is, which is the understanding that time is constantly being lost, and we don't have any free will. It's enough to be with a few friends, and be the life of the party, and you will lose this realization that being outside of the life of the party is freeing in some weird way, some anti-social and even catatonic way."

I think I understand what I am reading, but not sure. Is this a philosophy book?

"This duality is not foreign to the writers of this book, and to help you overcome it we will ask you now for complete obedience."

This is the end of the page, and nothing is written on the other page. I am not sure if I want to continue. This sounds like a weird cult Scientology-type book.

But I read on.

"We would like to ask you to obey what you will read in the rest of the pages of this book, since otherwise this book is useless to you, and you should pass it to someone esle. If you agree to obey the content of this book, then move on, but you have to agree to obey without knowing what we are going to ask of you. Obviously, we won't ask you to hit someone, or kill someone, or do anything illegal. We will ask you to do things that would mean stepping out of your comfort zone. Without further explanation, continue only if you agree to obey."

I am kinda starting to like this book. Couldn't come at a better time than now, when I am depressed and could use some new-age exercises. Next page.

I turn the page, and see a bulge in the book. Like those children's books where the picture is a cut-out and pops out of the book. Only here it is a paper bulge that is colored red. Below it reads:

"This book is a library book, written in 1973. This is a 1988 edition, but presumably you are in a future time, when the book has been taken out of the library a few times, maybe a few hundred times. Above you can see the bulge in the book. You need to put your sex organ, whether it is your penis or vagina, straight in the bulge. This is part of the assignments you agreed to obey earlier. Right now you are thinking, 'is this that kind of book'? Which kind?

Please shut those thoughts and simply touch your dick or VJ into the bulging paper, knowing hundreds of readers have done so before."

This book is fucking mental, I think. I pause, thinking of the crazy writer, or writers of this book (since they did write 'We'). I do it. Who cares? I take my pants off, pull it out of my boxers, and lightly tap the bulge. Right after I do it again, more strongly. I have no idea why I'm doing this, but a certain shudder moves through my body.

I am already eager to pass to the next page, and even think about browse through the whole book, but dismiss this since I like the anticipation. Next page.

"Quit your job, leave your house, leave your spouse."

That's what it says.

The rest of the pages are empty.

Right at that minute, Jodi steps into the house.

"Hey honey, how's it going?"

"OK"

"Are you feeling out of it again?"

"Listen Jods, we need to talk."

"Sure, what's up?"

"It's not working for me, I want out"

I'll spare the reader the conversation. I did it. I don't know, I can't explain it either. I didn't feel compelled. It's like the book perfectly complimented my depression. I think this book probably works only on depressed men and women.

You can probably guess that leaving my girlfriend of four years, our apartment of two years and my job of seven years was not easy during this time of the pandemic. I did it anyway.

I'm a high school teacher, I didn't mention it before, and after I quit I was absolutely determined not to return to another school.

So, now I am in this apartment. I'll describe it to you - 25 meters of the smallest apartment. It's just a bedroom with kitchen and toilet. I'm alone, and without a job. And I've never been happier or more complete.

Nothing feels fucking great. Do you want me to lend you the book? I still haven't returned it to the library, hopefully, the fine won't be too great, since I don't have a job right now.