"Future Thoughts"

One morning in late December I Lacey Strumlord awoke from a deep sleep. I tried to recal what I did yesterday. My thoughts are of a typical day. I went to the kitchen to get some coffee. My maid Mary said to me Mrs. Lacey you are late for work. Let me put the coffee into a togo cup. for you. I left for work as it started to snow. As I pulled up to the main office of my building I could see my boss glaring at me. As I approached Mr. Snow he gruffally says your late I would appriciate if that doesn't happen again. I simply nod and get to my desk as the phone rang. "Good morning." Lacey speaking how my I direct your call?" The person on the line screams into the phone...... Lacey your report was due yesterday where is it! I look down where my purse and school bag are usually stashed, only to find that they are not with me. So I reply with "I'm sorry Ms. Winter I will bring it with me tonight." She simply hangs up the phone. I sigh. As I get home to get my school stuff something seems strangely off, like I had done this already. Shakeing my head I go back out the door and get in my car. I drive to the school and get to Ms. Winter s class as fast as I could. I hand in my report and take a seat. She looks up from her phone long enough to say "Lacey you are late for class." I blush as the other students chuckle at me. Before class is over she stands up from her desk and approaches me at my seat. She hands me my report and simply says " Please finish your report and then turn it in on Friday." As the days go by, it is suddenly christmas eve. I am out shopping with my friend Crystal and she ask me, "So what did your week look like ?" "Because I know I'm like exausted." As I try to think back on the events of my week. I realize my mind went blank. So I simply said."The same." As I don't want her to know that I dont remember. As we walk to the car I think of other things not quite sure what they mean. Crystal had driven us to the mall. I was suddenly greatful as I sank into the passenger seat of her 1967 Ford Mustang, I thought of Christmas morning. I saw everyone opening there presents. In my mind I open my own present to see that Justin has bought me a dimond ring. I look down at my left hand. Suddenly I realize that hasn't happened yet. So why do I remember it as if it happened ? These kinds of thoughts have gone on for weeks now. I decided after Christmas I would go see a doctor about this, because it is getting wierd. As Crystal drove threw the snow covered streets she looks over at me and says." I know what you need." I say "really what's that?" She smiles her award winning smile and pulls her car into a place that the music is blaring and all the lights appear to be on. She says" So shall we?" I smile at her and say "Sure why not." As we stroll in I see Justin is already into a game of pool."Lacey I love you babe!" I blush as Crystal puts her arm around me she says "I'll get us some drinks, you go play with Justin." I nod and pick up a pool stick and suddenly I remember blurs of a drunk Crystal and drunk Justin and dancing and singing with them infront of a druken crowd. I shake my head trying to understand what is going on around me. As the night plays out exactly as I thought it would. As Christmas day played out just as I had remembered it almost a week before. I started to cry as Justin hands me the presnt he brought over for me. He eagerly waits for me to open it. As I stare at it, Crystal comes and sits next to me and says "Lacey its your turn." "Arn't you going to open it?" I take a deep breath and then open it. It is the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. As I am looking at it Justin asks "Will you Marry me ?" I look from Crystal to Justin as a fresh swell of tears falls down my cheeks. I burry my face in Crystal's lap and mumble "Yes I will Justin." The room errups in cheers. Crystal hugs me and says "This is the most exciting." I let Justin put the ring on my finger. As the day went on everyone was happy. At dinner I tried to recall the events of the day, only to find my mind blank. So I dared myself to think of what the wedding is to look like. I saw we where at the beach in the summer time next to the water.I'm drawn back to the present as Justin stands at the end of the table to make a Christmas dinner toast. "Merry Christmas." My doctor finally calls with an avaiable appointment in March a Thursday on the 13th day. I tell no one what I am going to the Doctor for as I feel it is highly unusual. As I pull into the parking lot I feel so tense that I feel sweaty all over. I park but I don't go in yet. I dread it. I already know that they are not going to have any answers. I take a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. I sit and wait till its 3 mins. till my appointment time. I drag myself into the office. As I sit and wait I try to recall what I did the day before, only to find my mind blank. So I decide to think about if I want kids or not. This was a mistake because I imeadiatley see 6 little faces that I don't have a picture of hanging in the hallway of my home. I then thought I wonder how my daughter Kacey will react to this? Then I see my 7 year old daughter throwing a fit, mainly at Justin's face. She yelled "You make me live here with your stupid kid James and now you get my mom pregnant!!! "I hate you Justin Davidson!!!!" Just then my name is called Lacey Strumlord? I shake my head to attempt to clear it. As Dr Wallace comes into the room I could tell he was baffled by my case. So he says "How are you today Lacey?" I reply with "Good." He says ok so lets run some test. I take a seat at a table and he puts some sort of electric wires all over my head. He said Now please give me a few mins and we will start the test. I said sure. As I wait I try to breath calmly and slowly. When he is ready I hear his voice on the ceiling speaker. Now Lacey please tell me your birth date. I think for a moment and then my eyes go wide as my mind goes blank. I can't remember.!! I panick for a second before he replys. It's ok Lacey its on your file. Lets move on to the next question. What is your name ? I said Lacey Strumlord. He said Very good. Now do you remeber your mother? I Think for a moment and say no but I know I saw her at Christmas. He said Interseting. What's her name? Keran Silverstone I say. He says ok. Now how about your father. Do you remember him? I say no. But he was also at my house at Christmas. Dr. Walace says really. Ok. And what is his name? Charles Silverstone I reply. Very good. Now what do remember about your childhood? I sit back in my chair almost frustraited. But I think for a long time before I answer. My mind goes blank. I start to cry. Inbetween soobs I say I know I had one. And that I have a older brother named Luke. I don't understand Dr. Wallace why I can't remember anything from my past.? And thats not the creepiest part Dr.Wallace, I have memories of things that have not happened yet. He scribbles a few notes then says. So you are having thoughts of the future. Ok so tell me something that has not happened yet. I suddenly get goosebumps all over. I Think very carefully before I respond. When I leave to go home there in the parking lot will be a smashed porche that a drunk driver hit before the cops catch up to him. He then scribbles a few notes and ask, What color is this porche? Red and blue I reply. Dr.Wallace comes to the room where I am hooked up to his machine. He takes all the eletric wires off of my head and says I want to coninue to see you on a weekly basis Lacey. This will allow me and my team to hopefully help you. As I am waiting for the receptionist to hand me my appointment card there is a loud crash out front. Then I walk out to see that there is a blue and red porche cushed next to a light pole just as I had said. There was two police cars surrounding the Ford Truck that had caused the accident. They had the drunk driver whom was shouting incoherantly at the cops. I run to my car and just sit there for a long time. Crystal pours us three a full glass of wine and wraps me in a tight hug. Thanks I said. I needed that. She smiles and says I know. We all make sure the kids are busy then we take a seat infront of the fireplace on the sofa. So tell me how was your day?" I get goosebunps and my mind goes blank as I try to recount the events of my day. So I say"about the same Justin." We turn to Crystal and she says "ok so its up to me to have had a great day. huh. Later I make up my mind to tell Crystal my problem. I get her alone in her room and we sit on her bed as I tell her about how for some reason I can tell the future as memories. But for some reason I can't tell her or anyone about the past. Crystal listened quietly as I told her when I think this all started. And that I have no idea why. I started to cry and sank into Crystal as I soobed. She held me for a long long time. When I was caim enough to sit up. She hugged me and said"It's all going to be ok. I'm here for you. Let me come to your next appointment with you ok. We will help Dr.Wallace and his team help you. I promise you will always be my best friend no matter what this is." With a sigh of releaf I take a tissue and wipe my face. I leave her room. I go to the kitchen and pour myself some more wine. I get a pin and paper and sit at the table. I try to think of some good questions to ask at my next appointment. I Write What is this condition? Why do I have it?Can I get rid of it? Is there a cure? Will my memory ever come back? I took my glass of wine with me to get a nice bubble bath. As I relaxed from the days events I tried to recall my appointment. To my disappointment my mind went blank. I decided to think about how Justin might react to this problem. Suddenly I regreated that thought because my next thought is of him being very angry with me about having kept my condition from him for so long. I thought to myself what did Crystal and I find out exactly? I am brought back to the present as I accidently go under my hot bubbly water. I sit straight up, splashing water everywhere. I finish my wine and get out. Now as I lay in my bed I wonder what that paperwork is that Crystal felt so compelled to sign. So came the day that Crystal and I go to my next appointment. I made her promise me on the drive to the Dr office that she would consult with me about all paperwork. "I cross my heart Lacey"is what she said. That seemed fine until we got to the part of the appointment where I was in a room with electric cords attached to my head. They had her in a seperate room away from me. Which was not the plan. Dr.Wallace went over the events of our last vist. I listened quietly as he told details including what I had said about the blue and red porche. Then he says am I ready for todays questions? I say yes. He ask do you remember your sister? I think for a moment and reply no. But I know I have one. He says ok. What is her name? Her name is Pruedance Dr.Wallace. He says good. And do you remember anything about growing up with her? I think for a moment and reply no. But I know I saw her at Christmas time. He said ok. How about your friend Crystal. Can you tell me how yall met? I don't remember. He scribbles some notes and says ok. How about high school do you remember what high school you went to? No I reply. He scribbles something in my chart and said I needed to wait there that he would be back soon. I waited, after another hour or so Dr.Wallace finally returns. What is this condition? Dr.Wallace replys It might be a form of allheimers diesese. Why do I have it? Dr.Wallace replys, Dr's are not sure why anyone gets it. It seems to be randome. Can I get rid of it? Dr.Wallace replys, There only a handful of patience with this type of symtoms so I am unsure at the moment. Is there a cure?Dr.Wallace replys, No. There are only treatment plans at this time. We will go over your options at your next appointment. Will my memory ever come back?Dr.Wallace replys no one can for sure but I can say hopefully so. Now I look forward to seeing you next week Mrs.Lacey Strumlord. Dr.Wallace left the room. I turned to Justin and blushed. "I'm sorry you found out this way. But I swear Crystal and I where going to tell you once we got some concreate answers." He put his head on the table and mumbled, "You are really something Lacey." Crystal stood up and went to him and rubbed his sholders. Justin got up gave Crystal a hug and a kiss and left. She walked over to me and said "Ok today was not ideal but we still have eachother and together in time we will figure this out. Now lets go get us a drink." Justin said to me "Look I'm sorry I got mad. So what's next?" Crystal answered saying"what's next is we take it day by day and really be there for her." I reply with"That sounds good to me. A few days later we are sitting on the sofa dicussing custody papers for Kacey as we all agree she does not need to know anything except that her mom is sick and that Justin and Crystal will always be there for her. The future seems to have changed as I tried to think of the 6 children I saw a few months before. Only to see that Kacey, James, Dylan, and Ryder seem to be the only ones in it now. I asked myself. Did I change something by telling Cystal and Justin? Where am I? As if to aswer my memories go to a near by hospital where I am in a white padded room a bed a phone and a door with a small window. I ask myself. Where are Crystal and Justin? Suddenly I am in a dark room with candle light lighting. I shake my head in disbaileaf When I open my eyes I am in the present where I sit at the kitchen table with a glass of wine. I'm not sure of what to say or do. So I just sip my wine. As my next Dr's appointment approaches I try to prepare myself for the betrail I am about to recieve. Crystal and Justin are about to sign me into a hospital and leave me there. I don't want to but with condition what choices do I really have? As all the paperwork is finalized. The hospital sets a date to bring me back. Dr. Wallace only has one question for me. He ask, What do you see in the future today Mrs.Lacey? I reply with "The ultamate betrail." Crystal says "Lacey lets get you home where I can get you to relax."Dr.Wallace scribbles some notes and then said"Ok Lacey I'll see you at the hospital. The three of us go home. Crystal and Justin where very loving about absolutely everything the next few weeks. I spent alot of time with Kacey. So came the day that I had to go to the hospital to stay. Since that day 13 years ago. They all come to see me as a family once a month. It's not everyday but its something. No one knows what happened to me or why. All anyone knows is I can't recall the past. And that I have plenty of future thoughts.