Creator of Love

God acts in mysterious ways. That's what people always say. I, personally, don’t care much about that old fart. He created life and the universe, who cares? People around the world should be worshipping a person a hell of a lot more important.

Cupid. Creator of love.

Me.

Unfortunately, modern-day folks are anything but smart. They stopped believing in marriage and soulmates. Created dating apps and websites in a futile attempt to replace me.

Ha. As if that could happen.

Nobody prays to me anymore or asks for my help. To them, I've been reduced to a chubby flying baby. Those assholes. I’m a very handsome flying man, thank you very much.

You're wondering if that affects me, aren't you? If you must know, it does not. Of course, I would be a lot stronger if I had the respect of the people. And it is also true I have been feeling very nauseous for the past hundred years.

But that is all irrelevant.

I am powerful and, as far as you're concerned, my powers are limitless. I am like God, only better. And more handsome.

I know what you're thinking. While all this wild human craziness has been going on, where have I been? Trying to fix this whole mess. Nowadays, everything is wrong. Divorce was legalized. Disney princesses no longer seek romantic love. fewer people are getting married every year. It's mayhem!

I'm doing my part, rest assured. Catching up on my reading to keep up with the romantic standards of the times. I've read all the Danielle Steel novels I could find, weeping with joy after every happy ending. After I finished them all, I studied the cliche tropes that made them so wonderful. If I could pinpoint those key ingredients, I would be able to create true love in the real world too.

Enemies to lovers.

Childhood best friends getting together.

Forbidden love.

Fake dating to falling in love.

Finally, I understood the world we are living in. I realize now who should I target with my beautiful arrows of love. So, I did.

After fifty years wandering around, unsure of myself, I came back. Bigger and better than ever. Here is the story about my first victims after my hiatus.

Claire and Gale. A match made in heaven. And they got together on December 24th. Can you think of anything more romantic? Both proud owners of rival bakeries in a tiny town in Connecticut nobody has ever heard about. They hated each other until love came their way.

Even thinking about it makes me swoon. It is one of the stories I’m proudest of.

It all started when I landed in the United States. For years I had been traveling, scouring the world in search of a love story so perfect it made me cry. I needed the best comeback ever. The date was December 20th when I found it. And it came in the size of a thirty-year-old woman with dark hair and red shoes.

“I can’t believe that jerk is selling my cookies!” She was saying, yelling to the girl next to her, her face flushed. Her friend shook her head and raised her eyebrows.

“He is selling some kind of Christmas cookies in December. He is not actively trying to sabotage you, babe.”

“But he is not selling any Christmas cookies. These ones taste exactly like mine. The same amount of nutmeg and cinnamon and all that crap. He is evil, I’m telling you.”

The friend, blonde and pretty, stared at the cookie lying on the counter. She didn’t look convinced.

“Claire, listen to me.” She went to grab the brunette’s face with both hands. “I love you, but you are going crazy. You are an amazing baker, but so is Gale. It is not that weird that you stumbled into similar recipes. Especially considering you both went to the same cooking class some years ago.”

Claire sighed but visibly relaxed. I curled my fists. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to stay mad, go confront him, be driven insane by his good looks, and channel all her anger into lust. From then, a love-hate relationship that would end up with a dramatic big gesture and a wedding.

I hadn’t even seen the guy and I was already pairing them up. That’s how amazing my powers are.

I didn’t want to miss the rest of their conversation, but I had a more urgent matter in hand. As quickly as my wings allowed me, I flew to the rival bakery, desperate to analyze Gale. I found him in his kitchen, mixing ingredients for cookies. He had dark skin and an amazing smile. He was perfect. Better than I expected even.

As soon as I was done snooping, I went back to Claire's bakery, where I found the two girls hugging still. Boring. I didn’t care about them. I didn’t care if they were the best of friends or been dating for years. This was not the paring I was rooting for.

“You’re right. I might be overreacting,” Claire whispered. “I love you, Hanna.”

“I love you too, babe.”

That was enough. With a tiny flick of my wrist, a small breeze passed between the two women, hard enough to push them apart. I chuckled as they looked at each other, confusion contorting their factions.

That was just the beginning.

I couldn’t do much until I could get Claire and Gale together. Feel their chemistry, analyze how cute their babies would be, you know the drill. But I couldn’t wait. In every holiday movie, the main couple always gets together on Christmas. Half the magic is in the pretty lights, the snow, and the caroling.

I had to act fast.

So, I meddled just a little bit. Sue me. And I know what you are going to say. “Love should be natural and authentic. It’s not right if you push them together.” Well, I don’t care. I am the god in charge of love, so who are you to question my decisions?

After a little wandering around the town, I found the perfect opportunity. A holiday festival on Christmas Eve. It would provide all the key components that make up the greatest of romantic comedies. It was fate. I could hear God himself asking me to do this. “Break Hanna's heart. Gale is Claire’s soulmate,” the voice seemed to say.

Now, I had to wait for the festival to arrive. There were still four days left and plenty of other ways to have fun in the meantime. I ushered away every single girl that entered Gale’s bakery with a flirty smile and a low-cut top. I send Claire flowers from a secret admirer, making her blonde green with jealousy. They fought and slept in different beds. The next morning, I sent her a dozen more roses. All, while whispering in Hanna's ear, voicing her deepest insecurities. That did the trick. On December 24th, they were barely on speaking terms.

I hadn’t felt so alive in decades. Making true love surface was what I was meant to do.

And, finally, Christmas Eve arrived.

The town was beautiful. The trees shone with the twinkle lights and the golden ornaments. All around, you could see people laughing, singing, kissing. Though there was a distinct lack of snow that ruined my mood, I quickly recovered. It was something straight out of a fairytale.

And then arrived Claire. She wore a red skirt that matched perfectly with her lipstick. Her hair was prettier than ever. And, the best part, her girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

It was now or never.

Without taking my eyes off my prey, I grabbed one arrow from my quiver. It was golden, with little details in red and green. I pressed my lips against it and whispered Gale’s name. Even though there was no visible change, I knew it had worked. Now, the only thing that was left to do was shoot it.

In one swift move, I grabbed my bow and shot the arrow, hitting Claire in the leg. As soon as it hit her skin, the arrow dissolved. Claire straightened and looked around. She seemed eager. After a few seconds, she found what she was looking for and went for it.

Gale was sitting on a bench, staring at his phone. The cellphone hit the ground when Claire grabbed his face and planted her lips square in his. It wasn’t what I was hoping for, though. His eyes stayed open and his mouth didn’t move.

And then I remembered. I had forgotten the second arrow. Silly me.

Following the same procedure, I shot Gabe in the back. His reaction was immediate and way better than the first one. With on hand, he grabbed Claire’s waist and pulled her down, until she was sitting on his lap. His lips moved along hers, their bodies pressed together.

I felt like doing a cartwheel and crying with joy.

Until the damn girlfriend arrived and ruined the whole thing. She had no business being there. I had made sure they hated each other for this exact same reason. Why couldn’t she follow one simple instruction? Instead of leaving the couple alone, Hanna decided to go looking for Claire. This, of course, led to her screaming bloody murder when she found her locking lips with a cute boy.

“What the hell are you doing?” She yelled, cutting the kiss short.

I sat and watched, confident in my arrows.

I shouldn’t have.

As soon as Clare saw her girlfriend with tears in her eyes, she stood up and away from Gale. Running to where she was, apologizing like an idiot. Which was not supposed to happen. I shouldn’t have underestimated the power of eye contact. They were going to ruin my perfect comeback. I couldn’t have that.

So, I did the obvious thing. In my position, you would have made the same choice.

I threw a tree branch on Hanna’s head.

Before you get worried, no, it was not a big branch. Just the right size to knock her off her feet and cut the lingering stares between them. With the girl on the ground, eyes closed, Claire could go back to focusing on her true love.

Gale stood up and walked towards her future wife. Their lips met but their bodies didn’t seem to follow. His hands rested on her waist without any passion. Hers were thrown hesitantly on his shoulders. I wanted to scream; why were they being so dense? With a snap of my fingers, I fixed it. Suddenly, they found themselves in a passionate embrace. I smiled to myself as they kissed.

I had done it.

My first couple in a hundred years. In love and perfect for each other.

And so, they lived happily ever after. You’re welcome.