Bad or worse

"So, I think it's pretty obvious. You?" He asked, turning towards me.

"I don't know."

"What?! Why would you choose incarceration over freedom?!"

"Because it's not freedom and you know that! It's a life of worry and fear. I cannot do that again."

"You think jail is better? Believe me, it isn't. Nothing's worse than being locked up day after day, not even knowing what month it is, how long you've been in. You can go crazy just from the monotony of it all. And that's just, if you're lucky, which we probably won't be. You know what they do with people like us?"

"I thought they did that to everyone."

"Yes, but others can defend themselves by finding allies, who do you think will stand up for a couple of fags?" I hated when he said that word, even though it didn't bear much meaning for me, I knew how hurtful it was to him, how many times he heard it, what kinds of memories he associates it with.

"Do they even care, I mean isn't the crime we've done much more descriptive of our nature?"

"You think they'll believe two fags killed?" I turned toward the doors, glancing between the two, pondering.

"So, you think living in the woods, always on the run would be better?"

"Than that, yes. At least it's not torture." I laughed at his presumption.

"What do you think will happen when we get caught? They'll mercifully shoot us? I thought you'd know my race better by now."

"Still. At least we have a chance to get away, to hide forever or if not, if they capture us, we still had a little more time of freedom. We could be together for longer."

"We'd still die a very untimely death. But if we go in there" I gestured toward the metallic-looking grey door "we'd live."

"That's not a life worth living, trust me." I looked at him, it's been some time since I have last seen him like this. Broken.

"We'll go with that one, then," I said staring at the dark wooden door, a hand growing out of it. I dragged myself towards it, even my body felt repelled by it, my legs barely worked, Ashley almost had to carry me, though he never asked if I'm sure, maybe he knew I could convince him if I tried hard enough.

"Hey, boy, what are you doing? Get back here!" I heard the voice before my vision returned. I didn't even need to see to know who that was. I jolted up and wanted to run, but someone pulled me back down, pinning me, hand over my mouth.

"He's not talking to us, calm the hell down," Ashley whispered, as he let go. We were in a ditch, bushes surrounded us. Behind us a thick forest spread out. In front was a dirt road, leading into the city, which was hidden by the great wall protecting it. Why did it seem familiar somehow? The sound came from one of the guards running toward the gate. It was him. Didn't he...? He looks exactly the same as when I last saw him. My eyes were glued to him when Ashley nudged me.

"That boy. He looks a lot like you." I glanced to see what he meant. I froze. This couldn't be. No, no, no!

"That's me."

"No, this is you, that's a little boy, who looks like you."

"No, Ashley, that is me, this is when I ran away. That's the capitol, and him" I pointed at the guard "is Sir Louis Alford."

"The guard you...oh. Wait. We're in the past, then? How? Why? What kind of messed up punishment is this!"

"To screw it up."

"What?"

"Very small changes could alter everything in the future. Maybe we won't meet or won't fall in love. Maybe, we won't get away in time, we'll get caught... Or I die before I even get out of here."

"So we won't interfere, problem solved."

"Easier said than done. Let's just stay put for a while." I don't know how he knew, maybe we've been together for so long, but he reached for my hand. It wasn't much, but it was the support I needed, right now. This wasn't what I was prepared for, this isn't just similar to my childhood, it was exactly my childhood. Hopefully, as an adult, I'll be able to steer clear of that path.

"Hey, Algran, wake up, we should find a better place to camp down." I woke, hoping beyond hope to not see the same road and wall, that it was just a nightmare. No such luck.

It was nighttime, dark enough to let us sneak away without the guards by the gate noticing, but the moon shone bright enough for Ashley to hopefully not face plant more than a couple of times, while we search for a hide-out.

"You shouldn't call me that."

"Why?" He asked, smiling. He had told me many times how much he liked my name: it's unique, he always says.

"It's not that common, I don't want people to think I'm related to, well, me. Also better if commoners don't know I'm a dragonkin."

"Right, so what should I call you? Alan?"

"No. Just call me Drake. It was one of the aliases I took after getting out of here."

"Can I veto that?"

"Why?"

"I had a boyfriend called Drake. Didn't end well."

"Really? Our lives are on the line, and you're arguing with me over this?"

"Fine, let's go then, Drake, but don't be surprised if you don't get any." He said, acting hurt.

"That's not on my mind at the moment," I got up, and started towards the woods. Ashley following.

"Could you be a bit more careful, if you're gonna be so loud, we'll be eaten by bears or worse."

"Don't boss me around. Just cause I lived in the city, doesn't mean I can't handle the woods. When I ran away from home, I spent several days in the wilderness, so don't-" he got cut off by tripping and almost falling. I caught his arm, stabilizing him. He grumbled something, I couldn't quite make out.

"I'm sorry. I'm just trying to stay alive." I apologised. We continued in silence, I glanced back a few times to see how Ashley was doing. He was doing his best at stepping lightly, I could see his slight paranoia came out, glancing sideways, wincing at the small noises, noticing every tiny detail, but he kept it under control.

"This will do. Now climb." Blinking several times and gapping at me, he asked:

"What?! Up?"

"Yes. We don't want to be eaten, or get caught by any wanderers."

"Can't we find a cave or something?"

"A cave? You know where we are, right? What we want to do is be as far from caves as possible."

"Fine, this one?" He asked touching the tree beside himself.

"Yeah, it's tall enough for us to be out of sight and seems strong enough to bear our weight."

"So it's big and thick?" He asked, smirking.

"How can you even...? Get going!" I threw him some rocks and took hold of mines.

I didn't know when he learnt, but Ashley was an excellent climber, forcing me to wonder, why he acted so scared when I asked him to start.

"Like the view?" I snapped out of my pondering, to check out Ash's ass.

"When did you learn to climb?"

"Trees? Doesn't it just come naturally?" I scoffed. Yes, there are trees that even five-year-olds can climb, but not these ones. These were incredibly tall, even if you're an excellent climber, it took a lot of strength to get to the top, and there were no rest-stops on the way, no small protruding, no branches other than those at the top. If that wasn't enough most of them were barkless, thanks to the king, making grabbing on almost impossible. That's where the rocks come in. While walking I picked up some of the sharper ones I could find, they were no dragon scales, but they did the job. "I went wall climbing a lot, after coming out of jail, trying to get over my fear of heights."

"I didn't know you were afraid of heights."

"Still am actually."

"How much further?" I asked, trying to divert his attention from the altitudes we were getting to.

"Tiring out, already?" I could hear the smile in his voice, I didn't want to let him know I could see he was also out of breath, his arms trembling from the effort.

"It's been a long time since my last climb."

"Just a few more metres almost at the top." He answered glancing up. "Uhm... Algran, could this be someone else's tree?"

"What? No, most birds moved away from the city, because of the noise and those who stayed got hunted down."

"I meant human."

"Stop joking around Ash. Noone's gonna find us."

"I'm not kidding, I think someone's already here."

"That can't be. When I was small, I never saw anyone do this, and I spent a lot of time in trees. Oh shit."

"If this somehow changes the future, which is almost certain, know that I love you, okay?"

"I love you too. But let's just not give up just yet, maybe it's not who we think it is." As if on cue, my- much younger- voice spoke:

"Who are you? Don't come any closer, I have a knife. I'm also a dragonkin."