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Historical Fiction Adventure Teens & Young Adult

He tilts his head slightly to the side and places his hand against the shell of his ear, but the thundering water drowns out the voice of the man standing opposite him. He gives a hand gesture, indicating a different direction. The other man nods and follows him over the crudely constructed wooden bridge, trembling and shivering as he holds on to the ropes that act as rails. The dampness that soaked the bridge's wooden slats rendered them soggy and each step felt like a passageway on a ship.


Upon reaching the opposite bank, the man grasped the other man's arm, which held the satchel he had been carrying since November 1885, during the Serbo-Bulgarian War. He raised his head a little to look at the bearded man whose face was scarred from forehead to cheek.


“Prepare the camera. He should be here any moment”. The man shouts over the sound of the water.


The other man, though, just nodded. The man holding the camera satchel pointed to a specific area. The walk there is steep and covered with ash trees, beeches, and bushes, yet it is perfect for a photograph. 


With hands gripping branches and plants, the two men hauled themselves up the slope; and with each step, the slick earth gave way beneath their boots. 

The men's broadclothes, in that era's traditional green hue, soaked up the surrounding moisture like a sponge, making their ascent up the slope all the more challenging.


The taller of the two had to halt more than once. Placing his palm on his chest, he felt it quickly rise and fall. Gasping for air, he briefly leaned his upper body against the slope and used his other hand to grip the branches to save himself from falling. The other man, already a few steps ahead, looked at him and then at the bridge that connected the gorge. He looked down at him again and gave him hand signals.


He yelled, "Come on," with a firm voice.


With an even more impatient sweep of his hand, he took his pocket watch out of his vest. 


"We're going to miss him out. Hurry up."


The other man with the satchel turned to face him after wiping the perspiration from his brow. 


He gasped and exclaimed, "Keep going. I need a couple extra seconds." 


When he saw the other didn't understand him, he gave him a hand signal. His feeble voice was lost in the sound of the flowing river. 


He watched the other man climb the slope with skill and speed, arriving at the gorge valley bridge in no time. The lattice girders of the bridge were made of wrought iron and wood, and a tension rod attached to the beam supported the struts of the girders


The man grumbled as he leaned away, upper body off the slope, to have a better view. He looked up at the other man and pulled out his pocket watch.


 "Damn. Ten more minutes."


He wiped the sweat from his forehead and searched for the next branches to pull himself up onto. His shoes were not designed for the slick terrain, so he had to take each step twice. 


He was breathing heavily and kept slipping, shouting to himself aloud, "What on earth..damned." 


His chest rose and fell fast, with occasional gasps for air. He looked up at the other man. The edge was only ten feet away, but the man's face on the slope appeared bloodless, and its scars were more visible than ever before.


He shook his head, unable to understand a word the man on the edge said. The other man gave him a signal. He shifted his upper body slightly away from the slope, raised the arm holding the sachel above his head, swung it wide, and hurled it at the other man with all of his might. 

He let out a scream, that resembled a kiai, using all of the energy he had stored up to bolster his will and focus. 

The man on the edge had to bend his upper body far forward and could only grip the satchel with two fingers. As he lost his balance and was ready to slip down the slope, he caught a glimpse of a branch.


He glared down, gave the man resting on the slope the thumbs up, and moved past the mob in front of the bridge pushing others aside. The man on the slope had a good view to observe, and he shook his head, as the other man came closer to the area of interest. He could not hear a word they saying, not even the loud mop, but he saw the excitement in people's faces and children's laughs.


Shortly later, he watched out for the man with the satchel; he talked with the gendarmes about the passage, repeatedly indicating his camera and holding a letter. Finally, the gendarmes caved in and let him pass.


He noticed in the other man's glance that he was making a face as if Christmas and Easter were on the same day!


Now was the time. Along with invited guests, priests, altar boys, and local officials, Sigmund Ignaz Graf von Thun and Hohenstein arrived. Soldiers shoved people aside to make space for Graf von Thun and Hohenstein.


Sigmund Ignaz Graf von Thun and Hohenstein were a distinguished individual who stood out from the crowd. As he marched to the center of the bridge, he walked with such pride and confidence that he raised his chin up to the sky. On the left side of his chest, rows of service medals and ribbons displayed his accomplishments.


The man put out the Vest Pocket Kodak camera from the satchel and attempted to go as close as two meters to Sigmund Ignaz Graf von Thun and Hohenstein, who were roughly the same height. However, the gendarmes seized his arm and dragged his entire body back, bringing the man further away.


The man yelled loudly and struggled with the gendarmes' grip with his arms and legs, but they forced him back in the back of the mob while they continued to yell "Graf Hohenstein."


The man, still lying on the slope, his pallor slowly fading, whispered, "Don't mess this up."


He gestured with his hand to the man on the bridge. The man on the bridge shook his head in a no-signal manner. He was seeking a better perspective for his shot, and after that, he turned to face the man positioned on the slope. He waved to the man, telling him what he intended to do, and without waiting for a reply, he turned and stepped onto the wooden railing of the bridge. 


One step, then the next, and his shoes slipped slightly on the bending crossbar, nearly throwing him off balance and faltering. Seconds later, he rebalanced himself, holding the Vest Pocket Kodak camera.


"What the heck is he doing?" the man rubbed his face with both hands. “What a moron!" 


He cast a sideways glance at the 30-meter-deep gorge; from the glaciers and mountains high above the Kaprun Valley, water rushes with unstoppable power through rock and stone, forming the gorge. From that point forward, the gorge was known as the "Sigmund Thun Gorge".


He looked back to the bridge, but the other man had vanished. Only the bag hung on the bridge railing, swinging slightly. But the man disappeared. 



April 01, 2024 09:52

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19 comments

John Steckley
11:14 Apr 11, 2024

This was a very engaging story. It created a good number of images in my mind's eye. You really created a sense of space The only aspect that I thought did not work was the "as if Christmas and Easter were one the same day."

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Renate Buchner
13:02 Apr 11, 2024

Thank you, John. It was considered a comparison of what this man felt, like a highlight. But, thank you, I will keep this in mind to improve it for the next story. Thank you.

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Martin Ross
17:38 Apr 09, 2024

That’s the way adventure should be written! Masterful use of the present tense, and you educate without impeding flow or pacing! Well done!👍

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Renate Buchner
05:00 Apr 10, 2024

Thank you, Martin. I aim to create a piece with a wow factor in the reader in just 1000-1300 words. But it's hard. I still have much to learn and am grateful for any input I get to improve. Thank you again for your compliment. That means a lot to me.

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Martin Ross
05:40 Apr 10, 2024

I think you succeeded wonderfully in achieving that wow factor.

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Renate Buchner
11:07 Apr 10, 2024

My cheeks are becoming hot right now, ugh. Thank you, Martin

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Mary Bendickson
17:14 Apr 08, 2024

I thought the two men were alone on an epic adventure so was surprised at all the other people waiting on a larger, more substantial bridge. Thought the guards gave him the okay then pushed him back anyway. Don't know anything about the celebrity everyone was waiting for or why they named the place after him. Was concerned about the guy on the slope so was surprised it was the other one that fell. Thanks for reading and liking my story and welcome to Reedsy. Thanks for the follow. thanks for liking my 'too-cute eclipse '.

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Renate Buchner
18:18 Apr 08, 2024

Thank you, Mary, for reading my story and your input. Yes, he had initially obtained consent from the gendarmes, but he approached the Graf too closely. Finally, the reader decides whether he fell or did something else, based on their own imagination.

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Viga Boland
16:31 Apr 08, 2024

Good mixture of narration and dialogue, not to mention, good story. Thanks for stopping by.

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Renate Buchner
16:51 Apr 08, 2024

Thank you for reading and providing me with feedback, Viga. I appreciate it.

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Viga Boland
17:04 Apr 08, 2024

My pleasure

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Daryl Kulak
15:17 Apr 08, 2024

I liked the story, Renate. I felt the rushing water in the gorge.

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Renate Buchner
16:29 Apr 08, 2024

Thanks, Daryl. Your input means a lot. I am working incrementally to improve. I liked your story about your characters, Grandpa and Aiden, especially the unexpected twist. Excellent development.

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Annie Hewitt
13:21 Apr 08, 2024

Lots of suspense. Great description of terrain and weather and emotion. Some very good writing. I like how there wasn't much dialogue and yet still understood what was happening to a degree. I did however lose the purpose and what actually was happening. Don't actually know why getting a picture of this guy from that death-defying angle was so important to risk life and limb. I like leaving a lot of the story under an iceberg so to speak (the Hemingway method-which is my favorite, by the way) but maybe a touch more explanation hinted at woul...

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Renate Buchner
14:21 Apr 08, 2024

Thank you. I was not sure whether or not to provide more explanations, even though I felt the same way as you, Annie. I will keep your advice in mind for the future. Thank you. I sincerely appreciate it.

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22:56 Apr 06, 2024

I really enjoyed this piece, your descriptions evoked such a strong sense of place and suspense.

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Renate Buchner
08:52 Apr 07, 2024

Thank you. I read your story and really enjoyed it! Very intense! I can learn a lot from all of the authors here. It's great to see so many different writing methods, and this is an excellent location to receive constructive critique. Thank you.

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Kristi Gott
20:13 Apr 06, 2024

This story has good suspense, drama and mystery. I kept reading and wondering. It is tightly written with action telling the story. Well done!

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Renate Buchner
08:47 Apr 07, 2024

Thank you very much! I've known this spot since my childhood, and it exudes mystery. I believed I could express that emotion through this piece. I'm delighted you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for reading and providing me feedback.

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