The Day They Met

“You’re telling me…” - Mr. Tabrenacle rubbed his eyes - “..you’re telling me that’s not a bookstore?”

Eduard was standing in front of the large display window, shifting his weight around nervously. The words “Eduard’s Books Galore” shimmering in golden lettering on the glass.

“Well Steve…” - he ventured, rubbing his short beard - “I mean it’s more of an event than a store you see?”

“An event.. right.” - a clipboard was produced, a pen was clicked menacingly, and the man took on an even sterner air. “First of all, my name is Mr. Tabrenacle, Steve would be my son’s name. And secondly; do you have a permit for this.. event?” 

Eduard decided he did not like this man in the slightest. He suddenly got the uncanny urge to set up a soccer match and invite Mr. Tabrenacle, just so he could pick him last. Come to think of it; depending on the current locale, would that be soccer or football?

“It doesn’t really work like that, it’s never in the same place for long you see.” - Eduard looked around then, as if struck by a sudden realization. A tall man, he had a better vantage point than most. That didn’t help at all. “Wait where are we anyway?”

“Sir, this whole ‘ready to be sectioned’ act isn’t going to work. If you’re the owner of this store, you need a permit. ‘Event’ or otherwise. For now I’ll just leave the address blank, can we at least agree it’s located in London?” - Mr. Tabrenacle peered over the edge of the clipboard impatiently. 

“London, yes! Sorry I’m new to all of this. It was in Istanbul just yesterday you see. I swear the place has got a mind of it’s own.” - Eduard wondered then what the term ‘sectioned’ meant. Whatever it was he was certain it didn’t pertain to him and chose to forgo any further inquiry.

“Uhu..” - the official murmered as he aggressively ticked boxes on his clipboard with thinly veiled bureaucratic fury. “That’ll be a fine then, and closure, obviously. I’ll just need to come in to confirm these facts and I can get the paperwork started.”

“No!” - Eduard shot at the zealous bureaucrat. “It’s ehhh.. it’s closed, yes, store’s closed today you see.”

“I thought it wasn’t a store..?”

“Excuse me.” - A slender woman popped up between the two men. Her long, brown hair tied back with a big blue bow. She turned to Eduard as she spoke, blatantly ignoring the self-important herald of rules and regulations.

The two men fell silent, their paltry battle of meager whits so rudely interrupted.

“I’m looking for legal textbooks, local ordnances preferably.” - The woman stated confidently.

“Ehh..” - Eduard’s eyes rested on the official for a moment, hesitating, then he gave in to his intrusive thoughts as his eyes shot back to the woman. “Sixth row miss, third shelf up, can’t miss them.” - Eduard said in his most pleasant customer service voice.

“Thank you.” - the woman chirped as she darted past the two men into Eduard’s Books Galore, the bell above the door enthusiastically welcoming her like an old friend would.

“Right, that’s it!” - the official decreed, now turning a crimson shade of red usually reserved for freshly boiled crustaceans. 

The bickering between the two men outside continued for some time. Arguments like ‘article such-and-such clearly states..’ and ‘look, guy, it’s a magical, possibly partially sentient store-like entity, what do you want from me?!’ could be heard. Both sides made some fair points. To the outside observer however Eduard was clearly losing this verbal joust however. Mainly because his fair points appeared to lack any basis in reality or ties to sanity whatsoever.

There was a sudden lull in the heated discussion then as a bell rang, announcing the same woman from before, this time as she exited the store. She carried under her arm a large book. Now it was the official who received her full attention, much to his chagrin.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

As Eline was wandering down the street, a new storefront caught her eye. “Eduard’s Books Galore” the lettering on the display window read. Terrible name that. - Eline mused. Still, she never passed up a new bookstore. On top of that there appeared to be some consternation out front. Eline wouldn't describe herself as nosy but... well, curiosity was surely a good trait?

When she approached both men ignored her, deeply committed to what appeared to be a heated discussion on permits. This would have been about as boring as one would expect if it hadn't been for some rather outrageous arguments on, what Eline suspected, was the owners side. Eduard, was it? Either this man was insane, the building in front of her was not a bookstore despite all evidence to the contrary or it was a bookstore, but a very special one to say the least.

To Eline all three seemed plausible. It would probably be best to not to get involved.. but where was the fun in that? Besides, she took an almost instinctive disliking to the other man. Exactly the kind of person her auntie would despise too, come to think of it.

“Excuse me.” - Eline jutted between the two men, turning towards the suspected owner as she spoke. “I’m looking for legal textbooks, local ordnances preferably.” - Said Eline.

“Ehh..” - Eduards eyes rested on the official for a moment. Hesitating only for a brief moment he replied. “Sixth row miss, third shelf up, can’t miss them.”

“Thank you.” - Eline chirped as she darted past the two men into the store.

She had been in many bookstores, some were cozy, some were well organized, others chaotic but with a certain charm. This one felt different. It was if somebody had had an idea, a notion, of what a bookstore should be and, without ever having seen one, attempted to coble it together. First of all Eline realized that the directions the owner had given her were about as useful as 3D glasses to a blind man. Yes the rows and stacks were numbered but they appeared to be in no discernable order, as if they were frequently rearranged, entire bookcases and all. Nothing to do but wonder around it seemed.

She passed row 23, then 83, followed by 2A. Each bookcase in the place mismatched dreadfully with one another, like a child dressing itself for the first time. It was as if every row of shelves was made by a different carpenter, from a different place. The woods all differed, the styles didn't match, some looked like antique craftsmanship, others straight from IKEA and poorly assembled.

A tabby cat popped up then. It meowed at Eline with, what she could swear was, a strong Turkish accent. The cat waited for her to follow, and strutted around the corner. Eline followed.

She'd reached a more open area where the cat nestled on a counter, an expectant look on its face. On top of the counter stood a heavily patinaed register. Garish and exotic looking it appeared as if the countless craftsman that created the bookcases had banded together and all pitched in a button, a lever or a piece of wholly unnecessary piece of decorative flair. The mismatched contraption blended in oddly well with it's surroundings Eline thought.

As she walked over to the counter a large jar with fanned out pieces of paper caught her eye. Free Bookmarks With Any Purchase said the sign underneath. Eline rifled through the rectangularly folded pieces of paper. She couldn't read most of these languages, some written in characters entirely unknown to her, but they were all covered in official looking seals. Eline recognized the words 'prikaz o vzyskanii', - a fine payable - on one of them and made assumptions as to the content of the other documents. Whoever this man was, whatever this store was, they sure appeared to get around...

The cat jumped up then, as if giving tours of the premises was its full time occupation and disappeared behind some more shelves. Eline followed of course, having relegated most of her pathfinding duties to the feline guide. After having passed several more rows of bookshelves the cat stopped, gently purring and rubbing itself against a particular case. Row 6, the sign above it said, and Eline instinctively reached for the third shelf from the bottom, finding the book she'd been looking for.

She was certain of at least one thing now: This was an interesting place. The owner, Eduard, might still be mad as a hatter but he certainly didn't appear boring or harmful. It'd be a shame if this store was shut down Eline decided. However if Eduard didn't have any permits, he was breaking a myriad of laws. That plump little man outside was absolutely in the right in that regard. Still, she could at least buy this Eduard some time.

---- ---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Steve Tabrenacle was by no means an imposing man. Stocky but in a way that always got him picked last in gym class, thick, bushy eyebrows that gave him and aged, mournful look and a pair of reading glasses he often propped up on his neatly parted hair where he would consequently lose them. He was no high-flier, he had never been popular and when seating arrangements at parties were made he was often placed next to ostracized cousins (twice removed, at least) and the annoying aunties who had the audacity to stick around for yet another year. Afterwards the rest of the table would often complain about having been stuck with Steve.

If he took pride in anything however, it was in his job. Here he shone with unmatched mediocrity, complimented by a zealous attitude towards bureaucracy that would make the most diligent pencil pusher shiver in dismay. He was Steve Tabrenacle; local council inspector.

When Eline came back out Mr. Tabrenacle had just decided to close the place down entirely. He was already eagerly anticipating all the paperwork this entailed. Then Eline caught him off guard, a rare event indeed. The articles, bylaws and codes of conduct she was firing off like a band of the worlds most boring firecrackers did not dispute Mr. Tabrenacles case. They did however point out that proper procedures needed to be followed, a conclusion Mr. Tabrenacle himself could scarcely deny.

''And that is why, though a fine may be issued, closure is not pertinent at this time.'' - The woman closed the book and looked at Mr. Tabrenacle with thinly veiled triumph in her eyes. If she'd assumed that Mr. Tabrenacle would be the type never to avoid extra paperwork when given the opportunity, she assumed correctly.

''This is all most irregular,'' - Mr. Tabrenacle huffed. ''I'll get the proper documentation from my office and we'll see what's what. Until then sir, here's a written fine, the first of many I'm sure.'' Mr. Tabrenacle handed the folded paper to Eduard, gave a curt nod, turned on his heels and stalked off.

---- ---- ---- ---- ----

Hardly the first - thought Eduard as he took the fine from the departing bureaucrat. He then turned to his savvy savior and held out his hand.

''Eduard, nice to meet you.''

''Eline, a pleasure.''

They sized each other up then for a long moment.

''Say Eline.. how would you like to co-own a bookshop?''

''I thought it was more of an event?'' - Eline jested.

''It's a bit of both really, moves around a lot. You'll never lack for new places, new stories or new friends.''

Eline thought on that, albeit briefly. ''Can we change the name?'' - she grinned, looking from the golden lettering back to Eduard.

''I'm sure we can find something more fitting.'' - Eduard smiled at her.