Not Alone

March 1^st, 2020

Sunday

Dear diary,

It’s a new month, a new week, a new beginning.

Today was the first day of 10^th grade. It was as expected, and about as normal as it gets when you are a 10^th grader. The lessons get tougher, the teachers get stricter, and the eight-hour school day just results in a headache and a slowly increasing urge to lie down somewhere, anywhere.

My friends and I are as nonchalant about this year as we are about every year we have had. We just go with whatever happens next.

I have homework to do, so later then.

******

March 3^rd, 2020

Tuesday

Dear diary,

Today was absolutely awful.

Our school had promised to take us to a movie today. But they cancelled it last minute. Why, you ask? They claim it was because of the rains today, but we all know what it’s really about. It’s about that virus with the weird name miles away in China.

Why are they being so annoying? It is in China, for God’s sakes. Another country, like I said, miles away. It’s not like it’s going to suddenly kill us all. We’ll never get our childhood back. Why are they doing this?

******

March 5^th, 2020

Thursday

Dear diary,

Today is the last day of school for a while.

They said that they are closing the school for two weeks, as a precautionary measure against the coronavirus. It seems serious. They don’t want it to spread any further.

I guess it’s good that they’re doing this. It does mean that I get a few days of holiday, of rest, even though they’ve given tons of homework to make up for it. Still, holidays are always fun.

******

March 11^th, 2020

Wednesday

Dear diary,

The World Health Organization declared COVID-19 a pandemic today.

I guess it’s more of a big deal than I had originally anticipated. That would be an understatement. It is a humongous deal. The whole world is slowly going into a lockdown. I didn’t think that I would live through something as historic as this, something I’ve only heard of happening in history books.

But this is real life.

******

March 14^th, 2020

Saturday

Dear diary,

I had music class today. It was online.

It certainly is weird singing to a screen. It gets worse, what with all the endless internet problems, the lags, the stuck screens and the occasional unmuted microphones.

But there is no way now, seeing that things are only going downhill.

******

March 16^th, 2020

Monday

Dear diary,

My school sent an email today. They are planning to start up online classes soon.

I don’t know how I feel about that. They did a test run today, and I didn’t like it very much. I screamed into the laptop until my throat was sore, only to realize the laptop had an audio problem and I needed headphones.

How much am I actually going to be able to learn through a screen? What is going to stop me from scrolling through Instagram or watching videos on YouTube? Nothing, absolutely nothing. I might as well be just sitting at home all day.

But wait, I am.

******

March 20^th, 2020

Friday

Dear diary,

I cried today. For no reason at all.

Maybe I am feeling lonely. That’s probably it. The reason I cried was because I felt lonely in a house full of people. Yes, that’s the reason. Maybe I miss my friends. Maybe I miss the fresh air, the crowds, and the trees. I miss the freaking trees.

I feel like the most ungrateful child in the world, a person who has everything and still isn’t satisfied. And that feeling isn’t the nicest one, mind you.

******

March 22^nd, 2020

Sunday

Dear diary,

I drew today. Just a sunset, a convenient practice for people like me who love to draw but never get the time.

I mixed all the colours together and felt the squishy paint on the brush as I wildly slashed about the page, trying to get something close to a sunset. I must say, I was quite proud with the results. It is good to know that I haven’t lost my artistic ability just yet.

******

March 25^th, 2020

Wednesday

Dear diary,

I had a Zoom call with my friends today. It was a heck load of fun.

I didn’t realize how much I had missed talking to people other than my family members. I didn’t realize how much I had missed the corny jokes, the odd anecdote and the endless laughter. I haven’t laughed as hard or as much in a long time. And I hope to do so soon.

******

March 29^th, 2020

Sunday

Dear diary,

School started today. It was as expected.

The teachers are still figuring out. We’re still figuring it out. Not just the technology aspect of it, but the emotional aspect of it too, the very aspect that we’re actually doing this. We’re doing school, online. We are being educated without actually being in school.

I don’t think we’ll even get the occasional holiday for rain anymore. I think now that they’ve realized that there is an alternative, we’ll just have school every day, come rain or shine. I don’t know how I feel about that. I imagine future me will have a lot of colourful words to describe it.

******

March 31^st, 2020

Tuesday

Dear diary,

This is it. The last day of the most uneventful month ever. Not.

Let’s recap, shall we? First, we see our main protagonist go to school and complain about the teachers and the hard syllabus. Then we see her complain about her precious trip being cancelled. Then we see her complain about her not being able to go outside. Then she does the most unexpected thing, she complains about her online classes.

Then something incredible happens. She slowly begins to master the art of spending all her free time into something considerably productive. She begins to smile more, and you know how her face just lights up like a thousand suns when that happens. And when she smiles more, everyone around her smiles more too. It still hurts her at weird times, the fact that she’s stuck at home. But when she realizes that the whole world is facing exactly the same thing, her smile returns.

Because she knows she’s not alone. And that feeling is the best one she’s had in a while.

******