The Beauty of the Senseless

There comes a time—more of an age, when you realize that what you're seeing in this world, what you're going through, experiencing...just don't make any sense at all. Some things in life have stayed a mystery, is staying a mystery, and will always stay a mystery. No matter how hard you try to be Sherlock Holmes, or study and aspire to become Albert Einstein Jr.,these things just won’t make any sense at all.  

For example, the word ‘abbreviation’ is supposed to make the length of words shorter. Maybe words like lol, omg, brb, ty, ttyl, np, lmk, tbh, and the list just keeps going. But have you ever noticed that the word itself–abbreviation is such a long word!?  

Well, if that didn’t satisfy you, there are other things which don’t make sense. When a medical student has graduated from their studies and is officially a doctor, still, every time they have a patient, the room that they are performing these tasks is called a ‘practice’. I mean, aren’t they supposed to be done practicing? Isn’t that the whole point of graduating those four years of school?  

Yet, no one has tried to question any of these things in life. Just like no one has ever tried to challenge the existence of technology.  

I have a phobia of tech-related things, such as modern phones, televisions, iPads, laptops, tablets, headphones, ear pods, smartwatches, and so on. Has anyone tried to think of how Ancient people, such as the Romans, Greeks, Mycenaeans, Minoans, Phoenicians, Egyptians all tried to live without using any technology? 

Romans were the ones who first invented a tool called an aqueduct, kind of like modern day dams. They were also the ones to build roads which connected their entire empire. The government in which many places have nowadays, such as a republic, was also influenced by the Romans. 

Greeks were the ones who made many inventions and were the ones who first started using the concept of geometry. 

Phoenicians are the ones who created the first language, and English is slightly based on the Phoenician language. 

Come on, do we even need to get started on the Egyptians? I mean the Pyramid of Giza, and sphinxes might answer your question. They built these pyramids thousands of years ago, yet they still stand today! 

So, let’s get back to the central question, why do we even need technology? If ancient people built all of this with barely any inventions, any education, and with no YouTube, why can’t we? Honestly, if you think about it, the ancient people are so much smarter than us. Yes, we might have discovered so many things, but still, it was the ancient people who created maps, explored the world, created ships to navigate, a telescope, a compass...everything without Google.  

While we are so dependent on technology, our phones, laptops, YouTube, Google, Tik Tok, Snapchat, WhatsApp, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, etc., these ancient dudes achieved so much more than anyone could ever imagine! 

This question has been haunting me since I could even remember. Yes, I have a phobia of technology, but I think that it doesn’t hold me back at all. I don’t feel embarrassed about loathing a piece of board connected by wires, and electricity, and circuits, because I know that there used to be a time when people could live happily without any of this.  

I strongly believe to cure my hearing loss, I don’t need to wear some tiny piece stuffed in my ear, because my brain knows that there is a piece of technology smushed inside my precious ear. If only Doctor Caldwell, and my parents would consider my point of view. 

I was born by hearing nothing, and it has been twelve years since I have suffered this...so my parents could only homeschool me. Well, they think that since I am going to eight grade, (and they think that once you are in eighth grade, you will need to start interacting and developing connections with others just to help me get a good high school education, college, and possibly get a decent job) I need to start going to school. 

I cried. 

I was sad, because to be honest, I really didn’t like the idea of a piece of technology crammed into my ear. 

Say that you are afraid of spiders, that you have arachnophobia. You hate all types of spiders, big, small, baby, adult, venomous, non-venomous, distinct colors of spiders. Just the word spiders will give you the creeps and make you think of suicide.  

Now, imagine that your parents bought you a pet spider, and they say that this spider is exceedingly small, a baby one, and that it won’t hurt you at all.  

Will that make you feel any better? 

I mean going into your own room will make you feel scared, frightened about what the spider is feasting on right now. 

Did you imagine all of that? 

Good. 

Because that is exactly how I feel about hearing aids. No matter how they tried to convince me through sign language, that these hearing aids will help me, and be good for me, I refused. 

Well, unfortunately, wearing this was not a question, it was more of an order. 

The doctor signed to me that it was mandatory I always wear it, because it will benefit my grades, the ability to make friends, and to fit in with groups...but I still wasn’t convinced. 

The doctor had made me try the hearing aid on, and as much as I don’t want to say this, wearing it is good. I can finally hear the part that was missing in my life. But sometimes, I get nightmares, that this hearing aid will turn on me. For some reason, I still didn’t show how much I loved the hearing aid, because my brain was reminding me—constantly—that it was a dangerous piece of technology. 

I just hope...that I will get over with my phobia, and that I will get used to this thing inside my ear. 

Mom and dad had told me, several times, that everything will be fine if I just give this thing a chance, but...will they ever understand?

I don't know, and honestly, I hope that this will all change, because the idea of going to school, learning with other kids, making friends, eating lunch together, and spending time in an environment like that...it makes my insides jump around and feel a bit gooey.

I have mixed feelings about everything that is going through me in my life.

Besides, it is just like what I had said before, some things just don’t quite make sense, and that’s the beauty of it.