Escaping From My Father's Farts

Once there was a big man and his name was Bobulanvus. But people just called him Bob because it was easier. Bob had a daughter that didn’t really like him that much. You see, Bob had a problem. A problem that had to do with farting countless times at night. His daughter, Marialuvasa, ( people called her Maria because it was easier) was always interrupted in her sleep by the sheer powerful thunderous sounds of her father’s farts. Her father’s farts not only shook the foundations of their house but also smelled like the poisonous seas of Gandul. Maria would wear masks to filter the smell and airtight headphones to block the blaring sound of Bob’s farts but it did no good for Bob’s farts blew her away from home. 

Maria stumbled and rolled in the grass, crashing through each disgusting coarse piece of soil that she would forcefully swallow. She bounced across the grass and finally rammed through the fences of her house. After hours of agony, rolling through the dirt, Maria found herself in the bright city where there were bustling people and cars zooming by. It was so much noisier but something had changed. The smells that surrounded her nose were not so stinky and repugnant as her father’s farts but rather a combination of a variety. Maria could smell the sweet smells of red roses and the sweet honey as well as the earthy smell of rain but it was short-lived as she fainted from her injuries.

Meanwhile, Bob was sleeping soundly but he woke up, finding that the bed of his daughter was missing. Bob got up from his bed and found that the bed had crashed through the wall. Bob looked around for his daughter but he could not find her anywhere. Bob finally emerged from his house and walked to the city for the first time.

While her father trudged through the city, Maria was sleeping in a stranger’s house. She was lucky to be in the company of Ms Raninoa who was a kind lady who had found Maria on the cold pavement. Ms Raninoa had carried her to her bedroom and laid her gently on her mattress. Maria looked at peace, her face one of comfort as her head sunk into the fluffy pillows. Ms Raninoa had no idea what a girl was doing in the middle of the city. She thought of calling the police but, it was late at night and she had no desire to talk to anyone. Perhaps, Ms Raninoa would find her answers in the morning.

Morning came, the sunlight pouring through the windows and on to Maria’s face. Maria woke up and she found herself wrapped in a blanket. She then smelled the place around her. It was the most aromatic smell that she smelled in her life. But, Maria was not feeling well as she found herself in an unfamiliar place. Suddenly, Ms Raninoa came in with a tray of tea and pieces of toast. Maria sat on the bed, grabbing on to the luscious blanket that lay in front of her.

Ms Raninoa gently laid the tray in front of Maria.

“ Thank you. Pardon me...May I ask...what am I and who are you? “ Maria said.

“ You’re very welcome, little miss. I wanted to ask you the question, little miss but perhaps, I should answer your burning questions. My name is Ms Raninoa and you are in my home. Last night, I found you on the pavement and you looked so hurt, you poor thing. I am so glad that you are looking better than yesterday but a question begs to be asked. What were you doing on the pavement last night, my little miss? You can take your time with your answers if you’d like..” asked Ms Raninoa.

“ Well, that’s easy, Ms Raninoa. I ran away from my father’s farts because they were so stinky and loud that they blew me to the city and I rolled and rolled until I added up into this city. Please don’t call my father. Please..Ms Raninoa, “ begged Maria.

“ But..”

“Maria.”

“Maria…I’m sure your father is very worried about you. He’s probably out there searching for you right now…” said Ms Raninoa. 

“ But, it was so so terrible. Oh, Ms Raninoa. Please. Please. Please let me stay here, “ said Maria as she sunk to her knees and tugged at Ms Raninoa’s dress.

Ms Raninoa stood firm, her face filled with uncertainty. What would she do? What would she do? That question rung in her head when suddenly, a stench filled her nose. A most terrible frankish saladishik smell destroyed her nostrils.

“ Oh no! My father’s come! Close your nostrils! “ said Maria as she squeezed her nose. She looked outside the window and she saw that everyone had fainted in town. Cars had crushed into each other as her father walked through town. However, something struck her about her father. Her father looked morose, his back hunched and his legs walking heavily on the cobbled pavement. Tears started dropping from her father’s face and something touched Maria’s heart. No matter how smelly and thunderous her father’s farts were, he had taken care in the absence of her mother who had left them. She slowly made her steps down from Ms Raninoa’s apartment and walked to her father who was seated on a bench.

Her father was looking at a reflection of his face in the puddle. He hadn’t noticed he was quite fat. The appearance of Maria’s shoes broke him out of his spell and in a matter of minutes, Bob shook Maria around while giving the tightest of hugs. His heart leapt with immense joy. Finally, he had found his only daughter.  He danced and danced.

Maria tapped her father’s shoulder after a few nauseating minutes and her father finally let her down.

“ Father…”

“Yes, my dear child…”

“ I have something to tell you…” said Maria while she looked at the ground.

At that moment, Maria shared all the troubles that she faced with her father and as she continued to spoke, her father’s face fell into despair. But, Maria soothed her father by saying that she would visit him. She wanted to live with Ms Raninoa but she would take the weekends to sleep at her father’s home. Ms Raninoa stood by Maria and assured Bob that she was in good hands. After all, Ms Raninoa was a school teacher. Bob stood there, not knowing what to do. He wanted his daughter to live with him but it made more sense for her to live in a place where she would not be affected by his farts. With a bitter sweet heart, her father let her live with Ms Raninoa but it was not all too bad as he always saw his daughter almost every week.

The End.