The Diner of Doom, Toilet Paper, and a Whole Lotta Awkward

Submitted into Contest #56 in response to: Write a story from the different perspectives of two people meeting for a blind date. ... view prompt

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Funny Romance

Kara



Iโ€™m trapped in a romantic prison with no way out except to stay for the night.ย 

Iโ€™m seated on a hot wooden stool, a candle flickering before my eyes, rose petals adorned the red tablecloth, and my ex-boyfriend, Henry Watts, placed on a chair directly across from me, his blue eyes sparkling in the starlight, but looking nervous nonetheless. I blame my best friend. Sandra Montgomery, my forever friend and swim partner since 3rd grade, had set this us up, informing me that there was this very interesting man that she wanted me to meet for a romantic dinner.ย 

I actually believed her, and so here I am, forced to spend the night with the one who I once thought was my soulmate, but who broke up with me for some reason still unknown.ย 

Sandra yearned for us to get back together, but one day abruptly ceased the nonsense. She must have been plotting this for quite some time now. The restaurant I was at was titled Le Dรฎner De L'amour, apparently meaning โ€œthe diner of loveโ€ in French.ย 

Stupid restaurant. Shouldโ€™ve been named The Diner Of Doom.


Henry


Kara? Kara was the one that Sandra wanted me to go on a date with? Sandra, thank you! Even though me and Kara had cut off connections when we broke up, Sandra and I are still fast friends. I didnโ€™t want to break up with Kara, but I was told that she was going to break my heart, so instead, I wasnโ€™t the one who got broken up with. That was the stupidest mistake of my life.ย 

But Iโ€™m thrilled that Sandra thinks that I deserve a second chance. So here I am, at a beautiful restaurant with my ex-girlfriend, praying that she doesnโ€™t hate me.ย 

โ€œHi, um, long time no see?โ€ I ask, awkwardly grasping at straws. She rolls her eyes, sighs dramatically and says,ย 

โ€œHey.โ€ We sit there in silence until she reaches into her purse, pulls out her phone, and starts scrolling through social media. She does this for a few moments until a waiter comes up to her and says in a thick accent, โ€œMadam, we do not allow phones here.โ€ Although it sounds like, โ€œMadam, ve do not allow vhones ere.โ€ I stifled a snort as Kara blushes, embarrassed, and slips her phone back into her bag. The man, satisfied, walked back into the restaurant, and then I burst into laughter. Kara gives me a look, causing me to gradually stop.

โ€œSorry, it just reminds me of old times. Remember when the manager of that store thought that you had snuck a piece of toilet paper out of the store?โ€ Kara gives me one of those giggles that I had come to love so much. She puts her head on the table, comes up full-on laughing.

โ€œIt was stuck on my shoe!โ€ This causes me to chuckle again. โ€œLike the rose petal stuck on your forehead?โ€

A rose petal is plastered to her forehead, threatening to fall. She giggles some more before gently brushing it off.

โ€œHenry?โ€ Kara says, after her laughter dies down. โ€œWhy did you break up with me?โ€


Kara


โ€œWhy did you break up with me?โ€ The question still rings in my ears, sounding wrong and strange, but I need the answer as if itโ€™s oxygen. Henry doesnโ€™t respond, so I pry him some more. โ€œHenry?โ€ย 

He takes a deep breath and then says, โ€œSomebody told me that you were going to break up with me first.โ€ I look at him.ย 

โ€œAnd you believed them?โ€ I exclaimed, outraged. I stood up angrily and placed my hands on the table.ย 

โ€œYes! It was Sandra who told me! And sheโ€™s your best friend!โ€ Henry says nervously, throwing his hands up as if surrendering. This is when I recall Sandraโ€™s past behavior. She didnโ€™t like the idea of me and Henry becoming a couple before we broke up. She must have given Henry false information, but when we broke up, and when she saw me heartbroken, she probably realized she had made a mistake.ย 

โ€œYou know what?โ€ I say. โ€œWeโ€™re done at this restaurant, I have a better ideaโ€ย 

โ€œYou do?โ€ Henry asks, sounding nervous. โ€œAnd that would beโ€ฆ?โ€ย 

โ€œRevenge.โ€ I finish, knowing that this will definitely be a memory I wonโ€™t forget.


Henry


Karaโ€™s plan is absolutely genius. We get up to leave the restaurant (takes us some time, because Kara knocks into one of the waitresses spilling food all of the pristine floors) and drive in our separate cars to All You Need, one of my favorite stores, because it pretty much has everything that you will need, varying from phones, to food, to toys and a myriad of other items.

We meet up at the front, and walk into the store.

โ€œWow, this place is huge!โ€ Kara says in shock.

โ€œWhat, youโ€™ve never come here before?โ€ I ask, surprised.

โ€œNope,โ€ she replies. โ€œI normally go to the mall or shop online instead.โ€

I lead her into the toiletry section, and we purchase 7 packages of toilet paper, ring it up, and drive the long, monotonous drive to Sandraโ€™s home. Nothing interesting really happens until we arrive at Sandraโ€™s large, modern house.

I hop out of my car, sneaking around to the back of my trunk, where Kara and I open up the trunkโ€™s heavy door. It released a loud creaking noise. We simultaneously jump back from the trunk, alarmed, hoping that nobody hears the noise. Luckily, everyone in the neighborhood is either sound asleep or they ignore the noise. Kara and I cautiously pick up one toilet paper roll, before I chuck mine at Sandraโ€™s house.

It lands in the bushes, causing Kara to stifle a giggle, before she steps onto the well-trimmed lawn, takes aim and fires! The roll lands on the roof, before gently rolling off the other side of the house, leaving a white line, popping vividly against the sleek brown roof.

We continue throwing the rolls of toilet paper until there is nothing left to chuck at the house. After admiring the house - that looks like it was decorated by a mummy - Kara nods at me. The signal. Time for phase two.




Karaย 


Henry and I stumble blindly towards what we hope is Sandraโ€™s front porch. I scour my purse until I find exactly what I need - the key to Sandraโ€™s house.

She gave it to me so that I could just walk in as if itโ€™s my second home, which is what itโ€™s kind of become to me. I slowly turn the brass key in the knob, then pull down on the handle. The door opens, revealing Sandraโ€™s tidy home.

Everything is in perfect condition and in just the right place. Sandra wants to become an interior designer one day, so she works on her house as much as she can to give it the edgy modern vibe we both love. I put a finger to my lips, motioning for Henry to be silent. He nods in response, we creep through the living room to the stairway, decorated with expensive paintings that Sandra had saved up so much money for. I walk up the stairs with Henry close behind.

We take a turn into her bedroom, furnished with a white dresser, a large television, a pastel yellow desk, and a queen size bed in the middle of the room, decorated with a yellow comforter that matched the same color of the desk. Sandra is sound asleep, snoring gently, probably having a good dream. Henry walks past me, not surprised, clearly having been in this room a few times. I signal for Henry to move to the other side of the bed.

He takes one end of the mattress, I take another, and we lift it! All those hours in the gym paid off! I was nervous about how we were going to fit the mattress out the door without turning it, but lucky for us, Sandra has a double door to her master bedroom!

I gently set the mattress down on the floor, Henry does the same, I walk over to the doors and open them both, producing a large bang when the doors connect with the wall. Sandra stirs, making me and Henry freeze, but she just turns to the side, and murmurs, barely audible, โ€œKing Koala. Donโ€™t execute me. I wasnโ€™t flirting with Prince Panda.โ€ I nearly burst into laughter, but I am able to contain myself. Tonight has been a really funny night, I guess Henry can make me laugh. I blush, then heave the mattress onto my shoulder. We carry the mattress downstairs, struggling to keep the paintings from falling.

We eventually make it down, through the kitchen, and then setting Sandra down for the second time, Henry moves to the sliding back door, opening it up in one swift movement. I can hear crickets chirping as we pick up the fabric case and haul it out into Sandraโ€™s backyard. Sandra has a large, circular trampoline in the far corner, unused except for when her little cousins visit. She has a huge structure dedicated to kids, a large playground that she custom designed. She has a lounge area in the front for eating outside, and in the middle in a large pool. Exactly what we need. I nod silently to Henry. We carefully lower the mattress into the clear blue pool.ย After Sandra is floating peacefully in the pool, itโ€™s time to finish the job.ย 


Henry


I take out the red and white striped megaphone strapped onto my back.

I turn it on, and yell into it abruptly, โ€œWake up!โ€ Sandra startles, loses her balance, releases a shrill scream, and tips into the water.

Kara and I rupture into laughter, Kara folded forward with her hands on her knees, shaking with giggles, trying not to fall over.ย When Sandra emerges from the water, she is shivering. Kara hands her a pre-prepared towel.

"Why did you do this to me?" Sandra hisses.

"It was revenge for telling Henry that I was going to break up with him." Kara smirks. Sandra's cheeks redden, although it's hard to tell with only the moonlight as illumination.

"I-I-I was jealous." she admits, looking ashamed.

"Sandra." Kara turns to her best friend. "You don't have to be jealous. I'm sure you will find an amazing guy out there perfect for you. And their name won't be Prince Panda. You talk in your sleep."

"Really?" Kara nods in response. "Aw, thank you! And, okay, then!" Sandra puts her arms around Kara.

"Are you hugging me because you love me, or is it because you are wet?" Kara asks. "A little bit of both." Sandra replies. Once she releases Kara, she walks back into her house, leaving me and Kara alone.

"We should do this again." I say.

"Oh, um, sure! It was fun." Kara blushes.

"Movies at 6:00 next Wednesday?" I ask.

"I'll be there."


August 28, 2020 17:01

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193 comments

Okay, super excited!! XD Do you know what prompt are you thinking of writing?? I'm not sure which one I'm doing yet!

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Awww, thank you!! It's my one of my first short stories that I've written, so I was hoping that people would think it's good!

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If any of you guys want to give me critism, I will totally take it!

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I think the story was really detailed, a few spelling and grammar errors, but otherwise, its really good and creative story! ;)

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Thanks, Scarlett! I'll make note of that when I write more!

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Thank you guys SOSOSO much for 257 Karma Points!! Whoever upvoted me, know that you know who you are and I am SO greatful!! I am almost done with my new story for one of the prompts! I'm not going to tell you which one, but if you guess the right prompt, I will go on an upvoting spree for you! ;)

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Hey, how's it going with your novel?!

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I attempted ( but failed ) to create a story for this weeks prompt! I am going to try to make one for this coming week so stay tuned!

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I am upvoting ur comments!! Write a story and all of your karma points will show!! Don't be surprised if you have 50+ already!! ;) Wow, I REALLY got a problem with the double exclamation points!

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Thank you so much!! I am for you as well! And I do too!! Haha

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18:10 Aug 30, 2020

Hey โ™ก ๐•‚๐•ช๐•๐•š๐•– โ™ก Are you new here? Welcome! I'm Celeste.... and yeah lol. This was so good! I can't wait to read more of your stuff, keep it up sis๐Ÿ˜˜

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Yes, I am! Thank you so much!! :)

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20:32 Aug 30, 2020

AWeeesome and no prob๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’š

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Lulu Lemon
18:42 Sep 02, 2020

This was a fantastic story! I really really liked it! I loved the way you put a unique twist on the prompt! Please keep making stories and never stop!

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Aww, thank you so much!! That means a lot! :)

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Thank you so much for including me and Blair in your bio! Ironically, we are friends and we write together IRL! Also, are you new here? Cause if you are, big warm welcome from me! I'm excited to read your content in the future! Have a good week! :)

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Lulu Lemon
19:40 Sep 02, 2020

Of course!!! Really???? That's so cool!!! And yes I am! I am not a very good writer so I don't know if I will write and what I will write about. And thank you!!!! You too!!

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Yep! We help each other with our short stories sometimes. Not on this one, but we are both in the middle of writing ones right now, so we are giving each other feedback on those. I can give you some ideas if you want! And you're welcome!! ;)

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Lulu Lemon
21:11 Sep 02, 2020

That's super cool! I wish I had a irl friend to write stories with! Really? That would be awesome, but I wouldn't want to bother you if that would be too much work.

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MUUUUCH better! I read both of your most recent stories, BTW! Loved em both!! :)

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This was great! The title was funny ;) Awesome job, keep writing!

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Of course! ๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„ P. S. Would you mind checking out my story โ€˜The Choosingsโ€”Part 1โ€™ when you have the chance? Thanks!

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I already did!! It is SO good, Aerin!! I love this one and the Part 2 as well!! Ur such a good author! :D

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Oh, sorry, I forgot! But thank you!! ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š

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Haha!! Me looking back and seeing that pretty much all of my comments have two exclamation marks. I think it's become a habit! XD

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It is! Great work!! I can't wait for you to write more!!

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Hey, great job! I really liked the title! Very creative! :D

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B. W.
22:18 Sep 26, 2020

Can we maybe still talk? i may be getting a bit mad and stressed about a few things so i just wanna talk to someone

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Okay, sure! What do you want to talk about??

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B. W.
22:22 Sep 26, 2020

Well, do you really think my stuff is good? i don't understand on why anyone like's my stories and all that. i feel like my stories would be a 1/10 or a 2/10

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Hey, of course I do! If I'm being completely honest, the only thing about your stories that you need to change is grammar and spelling! But the plots are GREAT!!

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B. W.
22:26 Sep 26, 2020

Yeah i guess i still have to work on Grammar and Spelling the most. But with everything else i just don't really see it. I'm still just sorta surprised when anyone likes them

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Your stories are great!! Seriously, I feel the same way and I'm sure other people do, too!

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B. W.
20:05 Sep 26, 2020

Up-vote spree again?

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B. W.
20:06 Sep 26, 2020

that was fast- but okay yay ^^

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B. W.
20:07 Sep 26, 2020

:)

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Willow Byrd
13:01 Sep 03, 2020

Wow! This was comical and perfect from start to finish. The ending satisfying without being cheesy. Amazing job!! I'm upvoted a ton of your comments, so expect more karma points! Keep writing!!!

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Omigosh, you are SO nice!!! You are going in my bio!! :)

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Willow Byrd
17:14 Sep 03, 2020

Aww thanks!! :) You're in mine now too.

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Willow Byrd
17:19 Sep 03, 2020

This might sound kinda weird, but I'm just curious cuz your writing is so good. How old are you? Even though that sounds kinda stalkerish, I swear I'm not a creep. No worries if you don't want to tell me. :)

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Avani G
14:00 Nov 20, 2020

I love thiss! Hands down the best thing ever! I laughed all the way, haha! Good job!

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Ah, thank you! (there is also a part 2, it's the Reese's one!)

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Avani G
16:13 Nov 20, 2020

Really? I'll go read that when I have the time. ๐Ÿ˜Š

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The Cold Ice
05:39 Oct 13, 2020

Please read my story โ€œThe dragon warrior part 2?โ€

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The Cold Ice
15:22 Oct 13, 2020

Thanks.

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14:08 Sep 25, 2020

Great story, I really loved it!!

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Great job! I loved how you put an adventure spin to this story, instead of just making it romance. Part 2?

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Thanks! Hmmm, I never thought of making one. BUT!! If there is a prompt that I am like "YES!! This would be PERFECT for a Part 2!!" Then I will totally make one, but right now, I'm working on a Part 2 for my OTHER story!! :)

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Echo Sundar
18:46 Nov 17, 2020

This story is really really amazing!!

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Thank you so much, Rachel!! You are so sweet!

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