The Diner of Doom, Toilet Paper, and a Whole Lotta Awkward

Submitted into Contest #56 in response to: Write a story from the different perspectives of two people meeting for a blind date. ... view prompt

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Funny Romance

Kara



Iโ€™m trapped in a romantic prison with no way out except to stay for the night.ย 

Iโ€™m seated on a hot wooden stool, a candle flickering before my eyes, rose petals adorned the red tablecloth, and my ex-boyfriend, Henry Watts, placed on a chair directly across from me, his blue eyes sparkling in the starlight, but looking nervous nonetheless. I blame my best friend. Sandra Montgomery, my forever friend and swim partner since 3rd grade, had set this us up, informing me that there was this very interesting man that she wanted me to meet for a romantic dinner.ย 

I actually believed her, and so here I am, forced to spend the night with the one who I once thought was my soulmate, but who broke up with me for some reason still unknown.ย 

Sandra yearned for us to get back together, but one day abruptly ceased the nonsense. She must have been plotting this for quite some time now. The restaurant I was at was titled Le Dรฎner De L'amour, apparently meaning โ€œthe diner of loveโ€ in French.ย 

Stupid restaurant. Shouldโ€™ve been named The Diner Of Doom.


Henry


Kara? Kara was the one that Sandra wanted me to go on a date with? Sandra, thank you! Even though me and Kara had cut off connections when we broke up, Sandra and I are still fast friends. I didnโ€™t want to break up with Kara, but I was told that she was going to break my heart, so instead, I wasnโ€™t the one who got broken up with. That was the stupidest mistake of my life.ย 

But Iโ€™m thrilled that Sandra thinks that I deserve a second chance. So here I am, at a beautiful restaurant with my ex-girlfriend, praying that she doesnโ€™t hate me.ย 

โ€œHi, um, long time no see?โ€ I ask, awkwardly grasping at straws. She rolls her eyes, sighs dramatically and says,ย 

โ€œHey.โ€ We sit there in silence until she reaches into her purse, pulls out her phone, and starts scrolling through social media. She does this for a few moments until a waiter comes up to her and says in a thick accent, โ€œMadam, we do not allow phones here.โ€ Although it sounds like, โ€œMadam, ve do not allow vhones ere.โ€ I stifled a snort as Kara blushes, embarrassed, and slips her phone back into her bag. The man, satisfied, walked back into the restaurant, and then I burst into laughter. Kara gives me a look, causing me to gradually stop.

โ€œSorry, it just reminds me of old times. Remember when the manager of that store thought that you had snuck a piece of toilet paper out of the store?โ€ Kara gives me one of those giggles that I had come to love so much. She puts her head on the table, comes up full-on laughing.

โ€œIt was stuck on my shoe!โ€ This causes me to chuckle again. โ€œLike the rose petal stuck on your forehead?โ€

A rose petal is plastered to her forehead, threatening to fall. She giggles some more before gently brushing it off.

โ€œHenry?โ€ Kara says, after her laughter dies down. โ€œWhy did you break up with me?โ€


Kara


โ€œWhy did you break up with me?โ€ The question still rings in my ears, sounding wrong and strange, but I need the answer as if itโ€™s oxygen. Henry doesnโ€™t respond, so I pry him some more. โ€œHenry?โ€ย 

He takes a deep breath and then says, โ€œSomebody told me that you were going to break up with me first.โ€ I look at him.ย 

โ€œAnd you believed them?โ€ I exclaimed, outraged. I stood up angrily and placed my hands on the table.ย 

โ€œYes! It was Sandra who told me! And sheโ€™s your best friend!โ€ Henry says nervously, throwing his hands up as if surrendering. This is when I recall Sandraโ€™s past behavior. She didnโ€™t like the idea of me and Henry becoming a couple before we broke up. She must have given Henry false information, but when we broke up, and when she saw me heartbroken, she probably realized she had made a mistake.ย 

โ€œYou know what?โ€ I say. โ€œWeโ€™re done at this restaurant, I have a better ideaโ€ย 

โ€œYou do?โ€ Henry asks, sounding nervous. โ€œAnd that would beโ€ฆ?โ€ย 

โ€œRevenge.โ€ I finish, knowing that this will definitely be a memory I wonโ€™t forget.


Henry


Karaโ€™s plan is absolutely genius. We get up to leave the restaurant (takes us some time, because Kara knocks into one of the waitresses spilling food all of the pristine floors) and drive in our separate cars to All You Need, one of my favorite stores, because it pretty much has everything that you will need, varying from phones, to food, to toys and a myriad of other items.

We meet up at the front, and walk into the store.

โ€œWow, this place is huge!โ€ Kara says in shock.

โ€œWhat, youโ€™ve never come here before?โ€ I ask, surprised.

โ€œNope,โ€ she replies. โ€œI normally go to the mall or shop online instead.โ€

I lead her into the toiletry section, and we purchase 7 packages of toilet paper, ring it up, and drive the long, monotonous drive to Sandraโ€™s home. Nothing interesting really happens until we arrive at Sandraโ€™s large, modern house.

I hop out of my car, sneaking around to the back of my trunk, where Kara and I open up the trunkโ€™s heavy door. It released a loud creaking noise. We simultaneously jump back from the trunk, alarmed, hoping that nobody hears the noise. Luckily, everyone in the neighborhood is either sound asleep or they ignore the noise. Kara and I cautiously pick up one toilet paper roll, before I chuck mine at Sandraโ€™s house.

It lands in the bushes, causing Kara to stifle a giggle, before she steps onto the well-trimmed lawn, takes aim and fires! The roll lands on the roof, before gently rolling off the other side of the house, leaving a white line, popping vividly against the sleek brown roof.

We continue throwing the rolls of toilet paper until there is nothing left to chuck at the house. After admiring the house - that looks like it was decorated by a mummy - Kara nods at me. The signal. Time for phase two.




Karaย 


Henry and I stumble blindly towards what we hope is Sandraโ€™s front porch. I scour my purse until I find exactly what I need - the key to Sandraโ€™s house.

She gave it to me so that I could just walk in as if itโ€™s my second home, which is what itโ€™s kind of become to me. I slowly turn the brass key in the knob, then pull down on the handle. The door opens, revealing Sandraโ€™s tidy home.

Everything is in perfect condition and in just the right place. Sandra wants to become an interior designer one day, so she works on her house as much as she can to give it the edgy modern vibe we both love. I put a finger to my lips, motioning for Henry to be silent. He nods in response, we creep through the living room to the stairway, decorated with expensive paintings that Sandra had saved up so much money for. I walk up the stairs with Henry close behind.

We take a turn into her bedroom, furnished with a white dresser, a large television, a pastel yellow desk, and a queen size bed in the middle of the room, decorated with a yellow comforter that matched the same color of the desk. Sandra is sound asleep, snoring gently, probably having a good dream. Henry walks past me, not surprised, clearly having been in this room a few times. I signal for Henry to move to the other side of the bed.

He takes one end of the mattress, I take another, and we lift it! All those hours in the gym paid off! I was nervous about how we were going to fit the mattress out the door without turning it, but lucky for us, Sandra has a double door to her master bedroom!

I gently set the mattress down on the floor, Henry does the same, I walk over to the doors and open them both, producing a large bang when the doors connect with the wall. Sandra stirs, making me and Henry freeze, but she just turns to the side, and murmurs, barely audible, โ€œKing Koala. Donโ€™t execute me. I wasnโ€™t flirting with Prince Panda.โ€ I nearly burst into laughter, but I am able to contain myself. Tonight has been a really funny night, I guess Henry can make me laugh. I blush, then heave the mattress onto my shoulder. We carry the mattress downstairs, struggling to keep the paintings from falling.

We eventually make it down, through the kitchen, and then setting Sandra down for the second time, Henry moves to the sliding back door, opening it up in one swift movement. I can hear crickets chirping as we pick up the fabric case and haul it out into Sandraโ€™s backyard. Sandra has a large, circular trampoline in the far corner, unused except for when her little cousins visit. She has a huge structure dedicated to kids, a large playground that she custom designed. She has a lounge area in the front for eating outside, and in the middle in a large pool. Exactly what we need. I nod silently to Henry. We carefully lower the mattress into the clear blue pool.ย After Sandra is floating peacefully in the pool, itโ€™s time to finish the job.ย 


Henry


I take out the red and white striped megaphone strapped onto my back.

I turn it on, and yell into it abruptly, โ€œWake up!โ€ Sandra startles, loses her balance, releases a shrill scream, and tips into the water.

Kara and I rupture into laughter, Kara folded forward with her hands on her knees, shaking with giggles, trying not to fall over.ย When Sandra emerges from the water, she is shivering. Kara hands her a pre-prepared towel.

"Why did you do this to me?" Sandra hisses.

"It was revenge for telling Henry that I was going to break up with him." Kara smirks. Sandra's cheeks redden, although it's hard to tell with only the moonlight as illumination.

"I-I-I was jealous." she admits, looking ashamed.

"Sandra." Kara turns to her best friend. "You don't have to be jealous. I'm sure you will find an amazing guy out there perfect for you. And their name won't be Prince Panda. You talk in your sleep."

"Really?" Kara nods in response. "Aw, thank you! And, okay, then!" Sandra puts her arms around Kara.

"Are you hugging me because you love me, or is it because you are wet?" Kara asks. "A little bit of both." Sandra replies. Once she releases Kara, she walks back into her house, leaving me and Kara alone.

"We should do this again." I say.

"Oh, um, sure! It was fun." Kara blushes.

"Movies at 6:00 next Wednesday?" I ask.

"I'll be there."


August 28, 2020 17:01

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193 comments

I just read this, lol glad you're making a part 2 !!

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Haha, I already did! It's the Almost Breakup, something something something...it's like my fourth story or something

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Raymond Kelly
16:48 Oct 21, 2020

This story made me laugh out loud. It's really well written, in the start I loved the character switches because they created some good situational irony. I feel like Kara gives in a little quickly, but that's ok because they get right to fun hijinx and exact revenge. When they are doing the revenge, the perspective seems to cease to matter, which is OK for an action scene, but I think you could have explored the relationship dynamic more in their thoughts and words after after they set off on their revenge adventure. The line about the p...

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Thank you so much! I hear my sister talk in her sleep ALL the time! This was so nice, thank you for reading! :)

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B. W.
22:09 Sep 28, 2020

I'm pretty sure i mentioned the new story to ya but i think i've finally thought of some things for it ^^

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B. W.
23:00 Sep 28, 2020

Could i tell ya the names for the characters?

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B. W.
16:35 Sep 23, 2020

You did really great with this story! ^^ i'll check out the other two and i hope you make more stories whenever you can :) this gets a 10/10 from me ^^

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B. W.
17:03 Sep 23, 2020

No problem ^^

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Lily Kingston
20:01 Sep 11, 2020

Great story. I like how everyone is able to get together at the end and that Sandra got payback for messing with other people. Keep up the good work and keep writing!!

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This was a badass use of the prompt. This was so creative and enticing. Very well said. I enjoyed reading it. Awesome job!

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02:56 Sep 03, 2020

Wow!!!!! Really interesting concept. I loved the revenge they did and especially the toilet paper. Stupid restaurant. Shouldโ€™ve been named The Diner Of Doom. I love this sentence. It's so heart touching. Keep writing. Can't wait for your next... Would you mind reading my new story "The adventurous tragedy?"

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The Nice Me: No problem! Thank you so much for the compliment, it literally made me smile. The Sassy Me: You're so weird. You're smiling to yourself in your room. The only thing that can see you is your comforter. And your dresser. And your- okay, fine. BUT NONE OF THOSE ARE PEOPLE. The Nice Me: Whatever! :) The Sassy Me: *Eye Roll* I guess I'm a little both. :)

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04:01 Sep 03, 2020

You are welcome. You used both the perspectives wonderfully. You are definitely a little both. :) ;)

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06:00 Sep 03, 2020

Welcome!!! ROFL. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚(take a look at my story when you find time)

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The Cold Ice
02:35 Sep 03, 2020

Hilarious story.Great job๐Ÿ‘keep it up.I enjoyed the story.Keep writing.Waiting for your next story. Would you mind reading my story โ€œThe dragon warrior?โ€

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20:22 Aug 29, 2020

Good job! Can't wait to read more.

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Thank you! Your profile picture looks cool, I have followed a tutorial that taught me to draw a picture that looked just like it!

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06:45 Aug 30, 2020

You're welcome! I don't know where I got the picture from but thanks if you like it. Would you mind checking out my first story?

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Tvisha Yerra
15:13 Aug 29, 2020

Cute story! Two things that would maybe make the story a tiny bit confusing (Not that it is confusing. :P) #1. When you're switching PoV's you should probably italicize or embolden it so the reader doesn't think it's an unfinished sentence. #2. That you have to indent every time a new character is speaking, or else it gets really confusing who actually is talking. Great first story though!

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Thanks for the tips! Iโ€™ll definitely use them next time I write!

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Alright, all done! Better now?

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Lucas Zhou
22:47 Dec 06, 2020

amazing

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04:27 Dec 03, 2020

Dangggggg Sandra was jealous, what a plot twist. Lovely work! :D

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20:33 Dec 03, 2020

No problem! :)

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Kaylee Tinsley
13:26 Oct 29, 2020

Really enjoyed this!!! Very funny and creative :)

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. .
01:38 Sep 02, 2020

Wow! Great story, I loved the descriptions

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I liked this, it seemed like such a fun scenery. Loved the whole plot and how you described everything! It was really good! Keep writing Kylie

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Thank you! I had a very descriptive idea of what the scene would look like, so I tried to describe it the best I could!

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Yeah it was reallyy goood the way you explained everything! Great job! Could you check out some of my recent stories (if you want or when you have the time) thank youu!!

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Thank you so much! And sure!

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