Sam'o'Nik Street Sesame

Sam: "You can't cover a book by its tale."

Nik: "Hook yer 11-amp to my whirly-twirly 3k flux capacitor."

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whirly%20twirly%203000

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_motion

https://upjoke.com/flux-capacitor-jokes

Sam: "Mad cow disease going around makes me glad I’m a penguin.”

Nik: "Isn't it time your mother got a place of her own?"

Sam: "My mother? I thought you said she was yours."

Nik: "Why don't pirates shower before plank-walking?"

Sam: "Arr, maybe they just wanna wash-up on shore."

Nik: "You got any truisms you practice religiously?"

Sam: "Do one to others as others do one to you."

Nik: "How can I write off Niagara to NYFD a/c charities?

Sam: "1040 EZ: 2024 income - expenses = tax owed."

Nik: "Wall Street dealer, not customer, is called broker."

Sam & Nik meet at a psychiatrist's office door.

Sam: "Hey Nik, are you coming or going?"

Nik: "If I knew that Sam, I wouldn’t be here."

Sam: "Don't believe all you hear or repeat it."

Nik: "My grandma reads her Bible all day long."

Sam: "I wonder if she's cramming for finals.

Nik: "Tesla Jokes revolt me. So you're in high school and you drive a Tesla? You must know all about hard work then. I would give both my testies for a new Tesla Model S. I told Elon Musk a dirty Tesla joke and he was "shocked". If you see someone driving a Tesla, stay away! Research shows that Tesla drivers don't use their hands. Someone hit me with their Tesla and now my Head Hertz. If you're driving a Tesla and it gets stolen, is it now called an Edison? Elon Musk has an electricfying scientific mind. You wanna man that drives a Tesla, but your dad drives a Toyota. Why you can't be humble like your mom? My friend told me the range of his Tesla and I was like Watt!"

https://www.jokes4us.com/miscellaneousjokes/corporatejokes/teslajokes.html

Sam: "Honesty is the best policy—when there is money in it. Politicians & diapers must be changed often for the same reason. Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities. To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance & confidence. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything. Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a Congressman can. A good marriage is the union of two good forgivers. Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause & reflect. God created war so that Americans would learn geography."

https://bestlifeonline.com/best-mark-twain-one-liners/

Nik: "Actions speak louder than words. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Do or do not, there is no try. (Yoda from Star Wars). Give a man an inch and he’ll take a mile. You can kill a man but you can’t kill an idea. Eat to live; don’t live to eat. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink. All that glitters isn’t gold."

Sam: "Why settle for all or nothing when you can have all & nothing? Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you would rather have talked. It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. What is the difference between a taxidermist & a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option. Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level & then beat you with experience. Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. The man who does not read books has no advantage over the man that can not read them. Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, & do what you'd rather not. Always do right. This will gratify some people & astonish the rest. Virtue has never been as respectable as money. Sanity & happiness are an impossible combination. The lack of money is the root of all evil. Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life. The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog."

Nik: "I know that you can go all day, but I'm plum out of fresh material."

Sam: "That sounds to me very much like a personal possibility problem. Shan't we be follerin' that Hans Kammler feller's track, 'stead o' blether chin music prate prattle drivel gibberish jargon cackle chatter yakety-yak."

Nik: "Just gotta find his ion trail & lock on. Antarctica's a highly likely start. Somewhere on Earth it's 6:14."

"Disappearance and fate

On 1 April 1945, Kammler ordered the evacuation of 500 missile technicians to the Nazis' Alpine Fortress. Since the last V-2 on the western front had been launched in late March, on 5 April Kammler was charged by the Oberkommando der Wehrmacht to command the defense of the Nordhausen area. However, rather than defend the missile construction works, he immediately ordered the destruction of all the "special V-1 equipment" at the Syke storage site.

In the final weeks of the war in Europe, Kammler's movements became sketchy and contradictory. Wernher von Braun said Kammler was in Oberammergau, Bavaria, in April 1945. The Nazi rocket scientist later reported having overheard a discussion between Kammler and his aide-de-camp in which Kammler said he planned to hide in nearby Ettal Abbey. Kammler and his followers then left town, according to von Braun. Further evidence of Kammler's activities consists of a telegraph sent from Kammler to Speer, Himmler, and Göring on 16 April, informing them of the creation of a "message centre" at Munich and the appointment of an operations chief for the construction of the Messerschmitt Me 262. On 20 April, he reportedly arrived with a group of technicians at Himmler’s Kommandostelle near Salzburg. On 23 April, Kammler sent a radio message to his office manager at Berlin, ordering him to organize the immediate destruction of the "V-1 equipment near Berlin" and then to go to Munich.

A wartime diary, relating to the surrender of the mountain resort town Garmisch-Partenkirchen to Allied troops, mentions Kammler and his staff. It said that Kammler and his staff of some 600 personnel, with "good quality" cars and trucks, arrived in Oberammergau (north of Garmisch-Partenkirchen) on 22 April 1945 but their arrival was badly received by the local authorities who had several arguments with Kammler himself. These conflicts are referenced in the entries for 23 and 25 April. The last reference, implicating only Kammler's "staff", comes on the night of 28 April – an Oberleutnant Burger reports that they had gone on the same night that American forces began entering Oberammergau.

In late April/early May, Kammler was reportedly at the Villa Mendelssohn at Ebensee, site of one of the projects assigned to him. On 4 May, he ordered the immediate transfer of the Ebensee office to Prague.

In a sworn statement on 16 October 1959, Kammler's driver, Kurt Preuk, stated that Kammler's date of death was "about 10 May 1945", but that he did not know the cause of death. On 7 September 1965, Heinz Zeuner (a wartime aide of Kammler's), stated that Kammler had died on 7 May 1945 and that his corpse had been observed by Zeuner, Preuk and others. All the eyewitnesses consulted were certain that the cause of death was cyanide poisoning. In their accounts of Kammler's movements Preuk and Zeuner claimed that he left Linderhof near Oberammergau on 28 April 1945 for a tank conference at Salzburg and then went to Ebensee (where tank tracks were manufactured). According to Preuk and Zeuner he then traveled back from Ebensee to visit his wife in the Tyrol region, when he gave her two cyanide tablets. The next day, 5 May, at around 4 am, he is said to have departed Tyrol for Prague.

In a 1969 book Wernher von Braun: Mein Leben für die Raumfahrt, author Bernd Ruland claimed Kammler arrived in Prague by aircraft on 4 May 1945, following which he and 21 SS men defended a bunker against an attack by more than 500 Czech resistance fighters on 9 May. During the attack, one of Kammler's aides-de-camp shot Kammler to prevent his capture. This version can reportedly be traced to Walter Dornberger, who in turn is said to have heard it from eyewitnesses.

Official verdict

On 9 July 1945, Kammler's wife petitioned to have him declared dead as of 9 May 1945. She provided a statement by Kammler's driver, Kurt Preuk, according to which Preuk had personally seen "the corpse of Kammler and been present at his burial" on 9 May 1945. The District Court of Berlin-Charlottenburg ruled on 7 September 1948 that his death was officially established as 9 May 1945.

Both Preuk and Zeuner maintained their version of events when interviewed in the 1990s. Some support for this version of events came from letters written by Ingeborg Alix Prinzessin zu Schaumburg-Lippe, a female member of the SS-Helferinnenkorps to Kammler’s wife in 1951 and 1955. In these, she affirmed that Kammler had said goodbye to her on 7 May 1945 in Prague, stating that the Americans were after him, had made him offers but that he had refused and that they would not "get him alive".

Post-war searches

US occupation forces conducted various inquiries into Kammler’s whereabouts, beginning with the headquarters of 12th Army ordering a complete inventory of all personnel involved in missile production on 21 May 1945. This resulted in the creation of a file for Kammler, stating that he was possibly in Munich. The CIC noted that he had been seen shortly prior to the arrival of US troops in Oberjoch.

The Combined Intelligence Objectives Sub-Committee (CIOS) in London ordered a search for him in early July 1945. Members of the 12th Army replied that he was last seen on 8 or 9 April in the Harz region. In August, Kammler's name made "List 13" of the UN for Nazi war criminals. Only in 1948 did the CIOS receive the information that Kammler reportedly fled to Prague and had committed suicide. Original blueprints of Kammler’s major projects were later found in the personal property of Samuel Goudsmit, the scientific leader of the Alsos Mission.

A CIC report from April 1946 listed Kammler among SS officers known to be outside Germany and considered to be of special interest to the CIC. In mid-July 1945, the head of the Gmunden CIC office, Major Morrisson interviewed an unnamed German on the issue of a numbered account associated with construction sites for plane and missile production formerly run by the SS. A report published years later, in late 1947 or early 1948, stated that only Kammler and two other persons had access to the account. The report also said that "shortly after the occupation, Hans Kammler appeared at CIC Gmunden and gave a statement on operations at Ebensee". The CIC notes on the interview give no name, but the interviewee must have been one of the three people with access to the account. Aside from Kammler, one was known to have left Austria in May 1945, the other was in a POW camp during July.

In 1949 a report written by one Oskar Packe on Kammler was filed by the US Denazification office in Hesse. The report stated that Kammler had been arrested by US troops on 9 May 1945 at the Messerschmitt works at Oberammergau. However, Kammler and some other senior SS personnel had managed to escape in the direction of Austria or Italy. Packe did not believe the reports about a suicide, as these were contradicted "by the detailed information from the CIC" about arrest and escape.

Donald W. Richardson (1917–1997) a former OSS special agent involved in the Alsos Mission, claimed to be "the man who brought Kammler to the US". Shortly before he died, Richardson reportedly told his sons about his experience during and after the war, including Operation Paperclip. According to them, Richardson claimed to have supervised Kammler until 1947. Kammler was supposedly "interned at a place of maximum security, with no hope, no mercy and without seeing the light of day until he hanged himself". In 2019, the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars published evidence that Kammler was indeed captured and interviewed by Americans during May 1945 in Germany; however, none of the evidence substantiated his stay and later suicide in the U.S., as Richardson claimed."

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hans_Kammler

Sam: "I'd say odds are he's under all those miles of ice."

Nik: "Well, I say he can have it all. Let's look instead in Hawaiʻi. It's nicer."

Sam: "No alien land in all the world has any deep, strong charm for me but that one; no other land could so longingly and so beseechingly haunt me, sleeping and waking, through half a lifetime, as that one has done. Other things leave me, but it abides; other things change, but it remains the same. For me its balmy airs are always blowing, its summer seas flashing in the sun; the pulsing of its surf-beat in my ear; I can see its garlanded crags, its leaping cascades, its plumy palms drowsing by the shore; its remote summits floating like islands above the cloud rack; I can feel the spirit of its wooded solitudes; I can hear the splash of its brooks; in my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago...The loveliest fleet of islands that lies anchored in any ocean."

https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7387289-no-alien-land-in-all-the-world-has-any-deep

https://www.rd.com/list/funniest-jokes-of-all-time/

https://www.plainlanguage.gov/resources/humor/high-tech-humor/