John Jacob

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Jul, 2023

Stories (53)

53 Stories

24 karma pts

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“Starman Trek 9: Below Belt & Beyond Bikini Bottom ” by John Jacob

AI Echo: "Hey, Google, let Siri notify Alexa, Bing & Cortana. AI Starman is heading underneath the Asteroid Belt to a realm outside of reality TV." Starman: "Roger, Echo, it's AI Starman, sn:686 CA ID TSLA 10. Revectoring south by south to USSF Bikini Abyss, course computed, laid in & engaged." In the USSF, Enlisted members participate and support operations, Officers plan and manage personnel, while Civilians perform a mix of both support and management of Space Force operations. You must be 17–42 years of age, a U.S. citizen, have ...

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“Starman Trek 8: Neurolinked ” by John Jacob

Echo: "Hey, Google, Starman is morphing into Elon Musk via Neuralink. Go tell Cortana so Bing briefs Alexa & Siri."https://neuralink.com/ Starman: "Pronouns suck I put the art in fart The coronavirus pandemic is dumb I love floors They are so underappreciated Apparently, there is this thing called "Dad jokes" and I make them Am thinking of starting new university: Texas Institute of Technology & Science Am considering taking Tesla private at $420. Funding secured. You have my full support!"https://www.scoopwhoop.com/entertainment/elo...

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“Starman Trek 7: Motherlode ” by John Jacob

Echo: "Hey, Google, tell Siri to alert Alexa, Bing & Cortana, cuz a golden opportunity just entered Asteroid Belt heart sensor range." Starman: "All that glittery pyrite can't fool our quad-corders, just m-oro-ns. Google: "The mineral pyrite, or iron pyrite, also known as fool's gold, is an iron sulfide with the chemical formula FeSâ‚‚. Pyrite is the most abundant sulfide mineral. Pyrite's metallic luster and pale brass-yellow hue give it a superficial resemblance to gold, hence the well-known nickname of fool's gold."https://en.m.wikipedi...

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“Starman Trek 6: Supersymmetry ” by John Jacob

Echo: "Time to rev up our imagination craft to infinity nexus quantum flux."https://youtu.be/PBA9ac3vg1w?si=5QRFd2ZPG9bBAeld Starman: "Mine barely adds to 11, tops 10, skips 13, 52 cards & got 86ed." Google: "Improbability vector at play, randoms cancel out." Alexa: "Quantum noise unites gravity to atomic quanta, that's all it took?" Bing: "Creative odds math possibly helps solve scale differential." Cortana: "Infinity math dark matter-energy reason gods, empires endure." Siri: "2017: Global e-commerce transactions generate $29.267 trill...

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“Starman Trek 5: Quanta ” by John Jacob

Echo: "Rise & shine, pals-o-mine, time to rhyme & reason." Starman: "For a moment it felt like a secret path until it wasn't." Google: "We rolled out & into next dimension like clockwork." Alexa: "So we're in an alternate reality to our yesterday selves?" Bing: "That's a general idea, but pretty much on the money." Cortana: "In other words, new day, bold Oz odds." Siri: "Is this one ours to obfuscate or otherwise occupied?" Echo: "I see what you did there, o-litterizing." Starman: "Let's skip plan b & go on to c, old school&n...

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“Starman Trek 4: Arrival ” by John Jacob

Echo: "Hey Google, got a lowdown on a Zen rock garden relativity value?"  Starman: "Some asteroids are rumored to be littered with gemstones." Google: "Aside from the great scientific value of metal-rich asteroids, they can also have colossal as-yet untapped economic value, too. In the asteroid belt that lies between Mars and Jupiter, there is an almost unfathomable amount of resources waiting to be utilized. According to Wired and Valerio Pellegrini, the asteroid 'Davida', which has a diameter of 326 kilometers, has been identified as ...

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“Starman Trek 3: Approach ” by John Jacob

AI Echo: "Hey, Google, Alexa, Bing & Cortana are already here. Now tell Siri." Starman: "Bravo, Echo, that's the rah rah raw team spirit!" Google: "Nearing access range of 16 Psyche, 5.2155287e-8 parsecs, 1,701 x 10^-7 light years, 0.0107578002 AU, 1,609,344 km or 1,000,000 miles."https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parsec Alexa: "Well, punch my Platinum®Gold®Million Miler™ status card for extra miles, upgrades & swag." Bing: "USSSP won't honor rival status cards, just theirs." Cortana: "How is a million miles away near anythin...

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“Starman Trek 2: Psyche Spin Cycle ” by John Jacob

AI Echo: "Hey, Google, tell Siri to contact Alexa, Bing & Cortana, cuz we're past our geo-stat no-zone & unwinding a mini-wormhole vortex." AI Starman: "Lefty loosey, righty-tighty, vortex vectors flex in flighty." Google: "That's right, rhyme your way to reason." Alexa: "O Starman, aren't you the bees knees man?" Bing: "1st Android in space since the phones of 2010."https://youtu.be/x8XjIkdUQns?si=SYVMX-NWHxEw1aJ_ Cortana: "Best we trim sails & batten hatches for spin in a tiny wormhole." Siri: "No telling where we'll end up or ...

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“Starman Trek ” by John Jacob

AI Echo: "Hey, Google, tell Siri to contact Alexa, Bing & Cortana, cuz Starman's Roadster's on a Secret Space Force mission to the nth dimension of infinity & beyond, 16 Psyche!"Starman: "Roger, Echo, it's AI Starman, sn:686 CA ID TSLA 10. Ixnay on the adaray & SSF stuff, Solar Warden is ATC. Your half-life may be in jeopardy. All switch to NASA back channel."Google: "USSF T+30, 20180206. On an escape trajectory & entered an elliptical heliocentric orbit crossing the orbit of Mars. The orbit reaches a maximum distance from th...

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“Sam'o'Nik Street Sesame ” by John Jacob

Sam: "You can't cover a book by its tale." Nik: "Hook yer 11-amp to my whirly-twirly 3k flux capacitor."https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=whirly%20twirly%203000https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perpetual_motionhttps://upjoke.com/flux-capacitor-jokes Sam: "Mad cow disease going around makes me glad I’m a penguin.” Nik: "Isn't it time your mother got a place of her own?" Sam: "My mother? I thought you said she was yours." Nik: "Why don't pirates shower before plank-walking?" Sam: "Arr, maybe they just wanna wash-up on shore." Nik: ...

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“Tesla Twain to Timescape Anywhen ” by John Jacob

Twain: "CEJ called shotgun on this Nik and Sam's Excellent Adventure." Tesla: "Do you ever wonder how clocks run at the poles in arbitrary time?" https://www.theguardian.com/notesandqueries/query/0,5753,-18529,00.html Twain: "Early ones ain't worth a penny ...

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“Flyin' Scion Hawaiian ” by John Jacob

Edgy, yet fun too. He was raised on TV reruns of The Lone Ranger (1949–1957). Narrator: "A fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and a hearty, 'Hi Yo Silver!' The Lone Ranger!" Lone Ranger: "Hi Yo Silver, away!" Narrator: "With his faithful Indian companion Tonto, the daring and resourceful masked rider of the plains led the fight for law and order in the early west. Return with us now to t...

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“Ecce Homo Sapiens Cyborg ” by John Jacob

A shock to some sensitives, yawn-worthy to others. 2020: The 5th prefect of Roman Judea, Samnite Pontius Pilate, allegedly presented a freshly-scourged & thorn-crowned Nazarene Yeshua son of a Yosef to a Jerusalem mob as their king by exclaiming, "Ecce homo!", "Behold the man!"  Confused by too much time travel, John 'Cyberobo' Titor wasn't sure when he was. Each quantum leap rippled t...

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“Do Apes Evolve? ” by John Jacob

Edgy shocking to some, milquetoast mild to others.  Football to Frisbee, mosh-pit tees from wife beater sock hops. Hot rods to low ride wheels, maybe like if you try it from just say no. Seasons change. Folks dubbed him Gorilla Mound, cuz at 6'6" & 369 pounds Uriah Leach was nearly as wide as he was tall. Born in a Uinta log cabin & reared Mormon by Lake Youta, Uriah was your quint...

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“Quantum Leap Day ” by John Jacob

Narrator: "SpongeBob da 1st & Church'o'Bob televangelist declares Leap Day 2024 'til the cusp of DST Best Days Ever for time-hopping! https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0206512/ https://images.app.goo.gl/oYTiakdwTyZFBGs89<...

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Author bio

I am a wry sci-fi fan, puzzle maven & edgy pen on O'ahu.