Sidereal-Galactic Time Trek

Having flushed out all Klingons circling Uranus, the USS Enterprise crew eagerly awaited shore leave on good old planet Earth, Waterton-Glacier International Peace Park precisely. Glacier Park Lodge & Prince of Wales Hotel were both booked exclusively for a month with shuttlecraft service between them. High tea overlooking Waterton Lake 12-4 was prime time. 

https://youtu.be/BXWvKDSwvls?si=Fh985T3tDg6CQ_Gc

Yeowoman Yahwowee slipped into her silk synthskin & felt it snug to her svelte form. A perfect cerulean cameltoe complemented her tan features. Kirk snapped out of his trance to don & VELCRO® a casual Friday outfit. "Too much time at the helm, not enough in the saddle," he murmured. 

https://youtu.be/NdKgwgURHj8?si=rIrYiO3PbBVImvT1

On the bridge, Sulu soloed & had Chekov check off the duty roster. "Both kind girls at US-Can border: Russian & Ukrainian. Which girls you like?" Pavel asked. "Don't worry, not your kind, others," Hikaru stammered. 

https://youtu.be/mrEC8xGc3ZM?si=ihohbfIwAPAnwehg

Uhura heard a faint garbled message that sounded urgent. "Mr Spock, can make this out?" Spock arced an eyebrow, then glided to her station with a trusty tricorder & logic at hand. "On screen," he intoned. 

"...losing pow...any ships...mayd...xzqw...@#&%..." 

https://youtu.be/gdFQtbXAWdc?si=UBN6dNWBgDpLxqw9

Spock: "Captain to the bridge! Computer, isolate signal & maximize gain." 

Computer: "Working..." 

Spock: "Uhura, contact Starfleet, explain our problem, request permission to use every means at our disposal to press the search for survivors." 

Uhuha: "At once, sir." 

https://youtu.be/vC0Qt1lvLq8?si=hg48D8Ify-wbsPBV

"Now what?" Kirk wondered & double timed it to the turbo lift. 

Uhura: "Captain on the bridge!" 

Kirk: "Status?" 

Spock: "No known knowns, Captain, only unknown unknowns." 

Kirk: "Let any ship take it. We've got a rendezvous with nature, not Rama." 

Spock: "Romulan Bird-of-Prey decloaking port side, powering a disruptor!" 

Kirk: "Fire phasers point blank! What fresh hell is this?" 

"PSSSSSShhheeeeuuuuuuuu!" Fade to black...

https://youtu.be/nRc0yaMW7Mw?si=qDEm051zb1q0pqde

Kirk: "Report! Where are we?" 

Spock: "Unknown, Captain. We appear to be in intergalactic spacetime." 

Kirk: "How can that be?" 

Spock: "Speculation: perhaps our phased nadeon lasers hit the T'liss-class disruptor head on?" 

Kirk: "Scotty, any damage?" 

Scott: "Aye, what ya did ta me poor lass, but she's hurt bad! Ah dannae if she can take any more. The haggis is in the fire now for sure, Captain!" 

Kirk: "Just do what you can with what you've got, Scotty. Kirk out." 

McCoy: "Can someone tell me what the blazes is going on? I'm just an old country doctor, not an engineer, physicist, psychiatrist, torpedo technician, bricklayer, coal miner, magician or escalator!" 

Kirk: "Bones, we're in uncharted territory again. You know the drill." 

McCoy: "In all the Universe, three million galaxies like this, and in all of that... and perhaps more... only one of each of us."

Spock: "Gentlemen, once we have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth." 

Kirk: "Something tells me you've got another photon torpedo to deploy." 

Spock: "Yes, there are 6 other unknown starships in our vicinity." 

Kirk: "Spock, if you say 'unknown' one more time, I swear I'll rip your ears off myself." 

McCoy: "Not if I get to him 1st, Jim!" 

Spock: "Sorry, Captain. Not sorry, Doctor. They are all in similar states of malfunction. My conjecture is that we arrived here in correlated fashion." 

Kirk: "Uhura, can we hail them?" 

Uhura: "Hailing frequencies open, sir." 

Kirk: "This is James T. Kirk of the Starship Enterprise. Identify yourselves." 

1st: "Kathryn Janeway of Voyager." 

2nd: "Christopher Pike of Enterprise-A." 

3rd: "Jonathan Archer of Enterprise NX-01." 

4th: "Peter Peter Peter Quincy Quincy Quincy Taggart Taggart Taggart NSEA-Protector NTE-3120." 

5th: "Jean-Luc Picard of Enterprise-D. Is there an echo in here? May we presume someone has an explanation for these apparent anomalies?" 

Kirk: "I believe Mr Spock is formulating a comprehensive theory." 

Spock: "More of a hybolical guesstimation, Captain. No Bird-of-Prey ID." 

Kirk: "Whatever, Spock. Let's quit hair-splitting & solve this puzzle." 

Nesmith/Taggart: "Got my own guy just like him, won't stop pedantic carpin', bitchin', moanin', whinin', bleatin', nigglin', naggin', natterin', ..." 

Seven of Nine: You are erratic. Conflicted. Disorganised. Every decision is debated, every action questioned, every individual entitled to their own small opinion. You lack harmony, cohesion, greatness. It will be your undoing. Your biological and technological distinctiveness was added to our own. Resistance is futile." 

Locutus: "My Mr Data CAN stay focused. I turn this matter over to him." 

Data: "I am superior, sir, in many ways, but I would gladly give it up to be human. Sensors show life forms aboard, but I am unable to ascertain whether they are awake or dormant. However, the vessel's propulsion systems are inactive, so I would hypothesize that the crew is asleep." 

Picard: "What of our current egregious existential environment?" 

Data: "Sir, our sensors are showing this to be the absence of everything. It is a void without matter or energy of any kind." 

Picard: "That's hardly a scientific observation, Commander." 

Data: "Captain, the most elementary & valuable statement in science, the beginning of wisdom, is, "I do not know." I do not know what that is, sir." 

La Forge: "Perhaps the anomaly is a temporal disturbance of some kind. Maybe we crossed a spacetime ley line vortex & shorted it out." 

Picard: "I want continuous subspace sweeps. We may be able to detect a temporal disturbance in the continuum." 

Wesley: "Sir, I know I'm just an intern & will get banned from the bridge, but Travelers Tesla & Twain told me time is on their side of the equation." 

https://youtu.be/sEj8lUx0gwY?si=oVo0gbKS5_XASF8z

Tasha Yar: "May I confine him to quarters, sir? It would be my pleasure! Data & Worf can assist me in strict starship discipline," she leered. 

A tic jerked Data's head quizzically & Worf let slip a soft growl. 

"Starship!" Twain exclaimed; "3, 6 or 9 in truth," Tesla under & over fixed it. 

Picard: "That won't be necessary if Wesley mutes & all fetter their fancies. 

Kirk: "As 1st to speak, I claim the sole right to command!" 

Q: "Might I to be or not to be of service to quibbling captains? Perhaps maybe a little, uh, Hamlet?" 

Picard: "Q, either get us out of here or you Q must get out of our way!" 

Q: "Very well then, Picard, hear this and reflect: "All the galaxy is a stage." 

With that, the mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma was wisps of a faint dream at the edge of consciousness, no more real than a whimsy. 

Kirk: "To boldly go where no man has gone before. Yeowoman Yahwowee, report at once to my ready room." 

https://youtu.be/pXP1MSFwMnc?si=DQ6osN5UvAhJvIo9

Spock: "You do it in full view of the crew; have you no honor, or shame?" 

McCoy: "Spock, we all have our darker side. We need it; it's half of what we are. It's not really ugly, it's human." 

Scott: "Ya canna change the laws 'o physics, or lures 'o lasses," he added.

Kirk: "At ease, everyone! It's casual Friday & soon to be our shore leave."  

Uhura: "Captain, Starfleet just sent you a coded message." 

Kirk: "I'll take it in my ready room. Spock, you have the con." 

https://youtu.be/kvIIM2AZgCA?si=F1ph3Va6wp15d1gS

Spock: "Helmsman, resume course to Sector 001." 

Sulu: "Aye, sir. Sector 001, home sweet home."