Clowning Around

(The vice versa option)

I cover my ears as I rush out the school doors at the end of the day. There’s kids talking on the phone. Other kids yelling. Playing music. It’s chaos.

I’m reaching for my bicycle when someone grabs my shoulder.

“Hey Trent, guess what?!”

I turn around fast, a stiff frown forming on my lips. “What?”

It’s Jacob. He’s always screwing around so much that he’ll never get a grade higher than a c. And he has a really messy, goofy afro.

“I was gonna tell you a time traveling joke, but you didn’t like it.” He’s smiling so hard that his neon braces are showing.

I roll my eyes. “You need a time machine to know that?”

“Ok, whatever bro. See you later!” Jacob hollers, as I take off on my bike.

***

When I get home I take my books out of my backpack and set them on my desk. Then I pull out all my notes from the day and organize them. Just the same as I do every day.

Then I start preparing for my S.A.T. test. I know I’m just a junior, but I can’t skip this step if I’m going to get into Princeton.

***

My little sister barges into the room, her little, beaded cornrows bouncing as she gallops to me. “Trent! Trent! Mama said “get your butt in there before supper gets cold.”

“Give me a minute, Clara.”

Clara scrunches up her nose and gives me the stink eye. “You're no fun Trent. You always miss supper.”

***

Fifteen minutes later...

I walk into the kitchen. Mama is finishing up her food and Pops is getting started on the dishes.

Mama looks up at me from her sweet potato casserole. “Trent, honey, we need to talk to you.”

Pops turns off the sink and walks over.

Oh no, what did I do wrong?!

“Well,” Mama starts. “You know me and Pops are very proud of you with all your scholarly achievements, but we think you’re actually a little too serious. I mean, you’re only gonna be a kid for a little while longer…”

“Exactly!” I say. “So I need to start preparing, so that I’ll get a good job after college.”

Mama nods. “Yes, but me and Pops agree that you can still do that while y’know resting, and having fun. Being a kid.”

I roll my eyes. “Ok, so what then?”

Pops raises his eyebrows at me. “Son, you best watch your attitude. Your Mama just wants what’s best for you.”

“In two weeks, when school ends you’re going to go to a summer camp. For the whole summer.”

“What!?” I gasp. “The whole summer?! I had plans to get extra credit for my college applications this summer. Not get bitten by mosquitoes at a gross camp.”

“It’s a really cool camp, Trent.” Pops says, his eyes light up as he continues to explain. “It’s actually a comedy camp. All of the activities are so fun. I wish I could’ve done something like this when I was your age.”

Comedy camp?! That’s even worse. I have to sit around while a bunch of stupid kids goof off.

“I can’t. Not for the whole summer. Please?”

Mama sighs. “Ok here’s the deal. If you win the improv competition that’s two weeks into the camp then you can come home and do your college application stuff. But only if you promise to have fun and participate in all of the activities.”

***

Two weeks later…

I lug my two heavy suitcases across the path of the camp. The gravel catching on my luggage wheels.

Check ins went smoothly and the head counselor told me to go to cabin thirteen. But there’s something unnerving about this camp. And the thing that is the most disturbing, is the amount of kids dressed up as clowns. Comedy camp was one thing, but clown camp is another.

When I get to my cabin the door sticks and I have to put all my weight into it, to get it open.

*Pop*

The door opens, but someone jumps out at me.

“Ahhhhh!!!” The person screeches.

I fall back and scream. It’s a freaking clown!

My fear melts away and is replaced with embarrassment. My face burns and I dust the dirt off my butt.

“Hey bro!” The clown’s painted smile grows bigger. “It's you man. I can’t believe a dude like you would come to an awesome camp like this!”

I put my hands on my hips and sigh. I’m fed up with this place already.

“Bro,” The clown takes his red squishy nose off. “Do you not recognize me? It’s me Jacob.”

“Ohhhh, why are you dressed up as a clown?” Is all I can think to say.

Jacob grabs one of my suitcases and heaves it up the stairs. “Lemme help you with this dude. But yeah, this is what I wear all the time when I’m not at school.”

The confusion on my face must be obvious.

“I’m a clown.” Jacob shrugs like it’s the most normal thing to say. “Like my parents are legit trapeze artists and I’m the clown. My uncle and bearded aunt run the circus.”

My mouth drops open. That is the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Why would a whole family waste their time just screwing around for a living?

“Cool, I know.” Jacob nods like I just complimented him.

I start unpacking, but Jacob looks at his wrist. “Shoot! Dude. We’re almost late for the first activity of the day.”

“What is it?” I ask, picturing a bunch of clowns hitting each other with rubber chickens.

“No time to explain,” He drags me by the arm. “Come on!”

***

We get to a little stage thing that’s outside. There’s three kids on the stage acting out some sort of play or something. Then there’s kids in folding chairs as well.

A tall woman asks, “Who wants to go next?”

Jacob thrusts my arm into the air and yells. “Us, us, pleeeeease!”

A short white girl, with pink hair joins us on stage and my stomach starts to churn a bit. The only other times I’ve talked in front of a lot of people like this, was for debate club. And I only did that for extra credit.

It’s all a bit of a blur, but they start talking and pretending to be their characters. But I don’t know what to say. Where’s the script?

Jacob walks over to me on his knees and gives me a funny look. “Are you my mama?”

My face scrunches up, “No, do I look like a woman to you?”

Everyone—and I mean everyone—shakes their heads.

“You can’t say no in improv!” Pink hair girl says. “You have to say “yes and…” It’s one of the biggest rules. Gosh, it’s almost like this is your first time doing improv.”

I throw my hands up. “It is!”

“Oh, well then you have to learn the rules.” She glances at Jacob. “Y’all try that again except this time say yes and. And then make something else up.”

“Are you my Mama?” Jacob repeats, but even more dramatic this time.

And I can’t help but chuckle a little.

“Yes, and…” I think of my Mama. “You’re late for supper again! If you keep showing up late, you won’t get any desert.”

Jacob pretends to cry and throws a fit. “No Mama! I neeeeeeed dessert or I’ll die!”

***

After lunch everyone eats those popsicles that have stupid jokes on the sticks.

“Why can’t a leopard hide?” I read.

Pink hair girl,—who’s name is actually Molly and is sixteen like me and Jacob—jumps up. “Oh I know this one. Because he’s alwa—”

But Jacob cuts her off. “Coz he’s always spotted.”

Molly gives him the stink eye and sticks out her tongue. Which is blue from her popsicle.

Two days later…

I’m walking back to my cabin after brushing my teeth in the bathrooms. When I spot an afro in the dark. In addition to the slap, slap, slap of clown shoes I have a pretty good idea who it is.

“There you are, Trent. I’ve been looking for you bro.” Jacob whispers, which is a huge contrast to his usual loud voice.

“Why?”

“I need your help pulling this prank, dude.”

I shake my head. “No way.”

“Bro, trust me it’s nothing bad. Come on. It’s the least you could do after being such a grumpy butt to me all the time at school.”

Fair enough. I drag along behind him.

I actually enjoy myself a little as I pour a bottle of chocolate sprinkles on the tables in the lunch room.

“This looks so much like mouse turds bro! This is gonna be soooo funny!”

“Shhh.” I bring my finger to my mouth. “We’re gonna get caught.”

“Nah, come on though.” He motions to the door. “I’m freaking tired.”

***

A few days later…

I’m sitting on my bed with my advanced chemistry book open, scribbling notes.

Me and Jacob and Molly have been practicing improv almost every day. I’ve gotten pretty good. Hopefully by next week I’ll be good enough to win that contest so I can go home.

Subconsciously my chest constricts. Why?

Somehow the thought of leaving starts to make me feel a little sad. Weird.

I shrug it off and grab my pencil.

***

Jacob said that this activity would be boring for him because he’s an actual clown. So he left me alone with Molly to go to it.

“So how are you liking comedy camp so far?” Molly asks as we sit down in folding chairs.

I shrug. “You know, it’s actually a little bit better than I thought.”

There are ten other kids at the table me and Molly are sitting at, and they all have a bunch of craft ingredients in front of them.

An older man wearing complete clown getup show’s us how to put the stuff together.

First I paint a plastic dropper green to look like a flower stem. Then I fill it with water and attach one of those fake flowers to the top. Hmm it does look like a flower. I squirt some water in my cup. I shrug. Cool.

Suddenly I get a blast of cold water in my ear.

I shriek and stand up.

Molly has fallen over laughing. “You should see your face!”

I can’t help, but to start laughing.

That’s when the whole table of kids get an idea. And a crew of six to thirteen year olds start squirting me.

Molly switches sides and starts squirting kids in my defense.

“Ha take that suckers!” She exclaims as she squirts a twelve year old in the face.

And before long we’re all having an all out squirt war. And I’m glad that it’s super duper hot out.

***

Later….

It’s the night of the improv contest and I’m ready to destroy my competition.

I head up to the stage with two random kids.

“Whoo! You got this Trent!”. Molly cheers from her chair.

We start by establishing the foundations of our scene. The Who, Where, and What.

I get to be an old dude tourist and we’re in Florida. I’m arguing about the price of souvenirs with the girl “who works at the souvenir shop”

I take a breath before I start. After this I can pack up and go home…

I can spend all my time studying and fretting about college…

Never have to joke again…

“Um!” I say touching my stomach. “I don’t feel good. Someone else can take my place.”

Jacob raises his eye brows at me, concerned.

But I motion for him to go on stage, and he does.

I take Jacob’s seat next to Molly.

“What happened Trent? Are you ok?” Molly feels my forehead. “You don’t have a fever.”

I laugh and explain the deal I made with my parents.

“Wow, you didn’t wanna be here that much?” She asks.

“That was before I came here. I kinda changed my mind. I think I wanna stay the whole summer.”

Molly smiles. “Such a silly boy.”

Then she surprises me by squishing me in a bear hug.

***

It’s the end of summer and the first day back to school.

I look in the mirror, noticing how much I’ve changed.

I’m still wearing my khaki shorts, but my button down grandpa shirt is replaced with a colorful tee. And my dark brown coily hair is almost down to my shoulders. Compared to the strict buzz cut I used to wear. I’ve literally let my hair down.

I grab my backpack and start to walk out.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to Princeton after high school. But maybe I’ll have some fun along the way.

Mama comes out of the living room, her sleep cap still on. “Hey! Where you going so fast, boyo?”

I smile and give Mama a hug. “Love you.”

“Love you, baby. Don’t forget to tell me how the first day of theatre club goes.”

“I won’t, Mama.” I yell, as I head out the front door. A smile on my face and excited butterflies fluttering in my stomach.