Okay, first things first a little information. This story is part of my main one that will be published in December (hopefully). The story centers around the theme, but this particular part of it doesn't. So I know I won't win, or even get approved, but I want feedback on this. It's one of my favorite parts.
Background information: Ummm, Mindhi's pregnant. Sandy is our main character. Sunny, her twin sister, is dead.
You're all caught up!
1 new message from Sunny😝.
Oh my God. It hits me like a semi-truck on the freeway, and I lay down on the bed in shock. Oh my God. Sunny. Not the hedgehog, but the girl… oh my God.
With shaking hands I open the Callisto sister group chat, and I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe something about how scared she was, wondering what was happening in the back of the dark van. It would have been better if it was a message like that.
It’s a video. It’s hilarious, typical Sunny. It’s an otter, eating a phone and swaying back and forth while jazzy music plays in the background. Normally I’d laugh my head off, but I just stare emptily at my screen, and a single tear falls and distorts the glowing image.
Mindhi pokes her head in the doorway and I meet her curious gaze. I gesture with the phone, and she takes hers out. I watch while she stares down at the screen, swiping with her finger. She comes and sits next to me on the bed and, still without words, I reach out and open Instagram.
I bury my face in her shoulder while she opens the message. After a few seconds I’m aware of her arm around my neck. I look up into her sad-smiling face, and she strokes my hair. “I miss her too, Sandy.”
I nod. Words? Who are they?
“It’s hard, isn’t it?”
Yes.
“You know she’ll always be with you.”
Yes.
She pulls me tighter and there we sit, on the bed with our phones out, remembering our sister as the jazz music says everything we can’t.
And since I know this is nowhere near 1000 words, here are some extras which you can ignore.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
We are extra words, which shall never be read. We march across the page like ants, determined to reach our destination of nowhere. Reading us is like condemning yourself to a life of boredom, because we are the extra words. We have no purpose. Skip right over us with your human eyes, pay no attention to our black figure. We convey no emotion, all meaning lost in the simple parade of the extra words, forsaken and invisible, never to be read.
ONE LAST THING: wouldya mind checking our the full version? https://docs.google.com/document/d/1KtiT7YFXlhIhCi_BDi4zCIhDfgpjru0kQVPKeioSe4w/edit
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Heyyyy Ella!
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HI SKYLER!!
Its definitely a very interesting piece and it really makes the reader want to know more on the situation, I think this was interesting, I can't really say much else since there is only that part😂.
Oh right! you seem kinda sad..🥺. Maybe I'm wrong its just your page is giving me sad-frustrated vibes. Are you okay?
And the first sentence on your bio is not true! I can't speak for anyone but I'm not sure if you remember but that one time when you commented on my story really made me happy. And I kept checking your page every now and then waiting if you were back on Reedsy, or posted something. And today you did!!😊
And I get the feeling of thinking that nobody is really thinking about you...(I feel it everyday) and I'm not going to sit here and say "SOMEONE IS" cause I actually don't know about that. But I am here and I read your story! so I guess its a start So its okay😊.
Ps. My stories don't get approved either..but I still write. Not trying to tell you how to feel. But instead of writing to BE approved. Maybe write for yourself..and other people will eventually find their way to you.😊
~Ugochi*~
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awwwwww thanks :). I just feel like everyone here has stopped talking to me, ya know? Like, one day I have all these ppl who are making me laugh and reading my stuff and the next day, not a word from anyone. I don't wanna sound attention-seeking but it feels like y'all kinda forgot me? i don't know. Thanks for commenting though, you made my day :)
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and the wriwrates, i get that I can't be involved in every single thing but i wish ppl weren't treating it like some closely guarded secret. it's fine that I'm not one of them, whatever they are, but i wish someone would tell me. for all i know its some sort of cult lol
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Yeahh okay I get what you mean. I had this problem a few weeks ago like sorta on here and outside of here. I felt like people would just come and like me for a minute and just go. And maybe sometimes..not saying they did...but sometimes they actually do. And I feel like the only way to deal with that..like how I deal with it is like EXPECTING they all will leave at some point. I definitely didn't forget about you cause I remember everyone who comments..
And remember you don't really need to be apart of a group or like remembered by a certain type of people to be great. If you really think that people have forgotten about you..how about starting over, find different people to talk too. Do something that sets you apart from everyone else😊
I'm gonna respond to both comments here..
Ohh right that. I think its like for ships...and stuff. I don't really know about that either, I do remember being asked by Aerin about it at some point..but I never really got into it. I think. But lets NOT call it a cult😂. I do know the people who are in it are very close friends..like Orenda, Aerin, Amany, Vayd(I think) and others. I think at some point I wished to be like them too or like fit in..but then I got over it and started focusing on why I actually came to this app for. If your actually interested in it and wanna know more about it try asking like one of the main people in it..or something. You may not get into it..but maybe it will help??
Hope all that helps😊 if you wanna talk Ugochi is always herreee!
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thanks :)
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Are you gonna ask themm😲?? Or noo.
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I did that like twice and got no answer, so noo
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HULLO
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OMG HI
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HOW YA DOING SIS
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GOOD HOW ARE YOU FRIEND
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YAY I’M GOOD AS WELL
WRITING ANYTHING LATELY?
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YEAH I AM ACTUALLY
YOU?
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OMG HI
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OMG HI
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ViCtoRy Is OuRs!
Apparently its a challenge where you say it to someone and then have them pass it on. I got it from amethyst who got it from luna who got it from sapphire who got it from kate who got it from jade who got it from emerald. pretty random :D
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Hey there, i dont have a lot to say except that I think it was a really good story that you did and it gets a 10/10 from me :)
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Best story and wonderful concept. Keep writing
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AMAZING STORYYY!
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hehe thanks
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Lol that’s a great downvoter note in yo bio 😂
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thank you
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Wow wonderful story.Very nice.Keep writing.
Would you mind reading my story
“Leaf me alone”
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LMAO! I was more invested in the extra words than the story! Not really, but they were funny and made me laugh! The story itself, well BOY AM I INTERESTED. I'm heading over to read the full version right now. Good job!
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Thanks :)
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