A Barber's Oath

Jim needed a haircut, but something always seemed to drag him in the opposite direction. He lived alone, so no one harassed him about his hair or other bad habits he had fallen into. Today was different. His hard work was showing signs of success, so he rewarded himself with a day off work. It would start with a trip to his barber. After waiting his turn, he took a seat, then the usual cloth was pinned around his neck, covering his front.

“I know it’s a little long, but I’ve been busy.”

“Don’t tell me you’re so busy, you don’t have time to visit me any more.”

“Yeah, that’s kinda what I mean.”

“Want to tell me about it? You know us barbers don’t take an actual oath of silence, but the good ones know to keep our mouths shut.”

“I don’t think I have time to tell it all.”

“You got about fifteen minutes. Talk fast and tell what you can.”

“Will you keep it to yourself?” The barber nodded his head in the affirmative.

“Well, I got a tiger by the tail and I'm scared to let go.”

“I’m sure you don’t mean a real cat, do you?”

“It’s this thing I’ve been working on and I’m getting scared of what’s going to happen.”

“You ain’t planning on blowing up the President or something like that, are you?”

“No, it’s the other way around.” The barber adjusted Jim’s head and gave him a inquisitive look.

“I’m not planning on killing anyone, but every power company, oil company, auto maker, insurance company and government on this rock may want to kill me.” With that statement, the barber stopped.

“Make that thirty minutes with unlimited extensions. Now just what in the world are you talking about?”

“I’ve built something that I shouldn’t have built.” After a brief pause, Jim continued, “You know how much I’m into this new physics, but it’s not something you can stand around a water cooler and discuss. I went off on my own and learned how to produce electricity.”

After another head adjustment the barber asked, “What so special about that? I don’t understand why you are so concerned.”

“It doesn’t use any fuel or have any moving parts.” That statement got a little to much hair removed from Jim’s head. The barber continued to cut trying to cover up his error.

“I can’t let people know I got it or someone will eliminate me. It’s not something you can keep to yourself very long. My neighbor has already noticed that my lights stay on when the power is down and she is the biggest gossip in town. I just don’t know what to do. Like I said, I got a tiger by the tail.” They fell silent for a few minutes in deep thought. The haircut had slowed to a crawl.

The barber leaned over and whispered to Jim, “I know someone who may help. Give me a few days and I’ll arrange a meeting.” The haircut was completed, Jim paid, then went home. The day off went somewhere else. He needed time to think and come to some kind of decision.

After a couple restless nights, the phone call startled him.

“This is a friendly reminder; your next haircut is due.” The caller hung up. It sounded like some cheap spy movie to Jim until he remembered what he told the barber. The entire planet wanted him dead so a little cloak and dagger may be in perfect character. Jim purposefully didn’t shave that morning.

“Hello Jim. I’m kinda busy right now, so I’ll ask Dave to help you.” Along with the statement, came a warm and encouraging nod.

“You look like a man wearing a badge of worry. A close shave always improves a man’s outlook.” Jim sat down just a little suspicious. The usual ceremony was preformed with the lather, but the razor was a safety razor and not the normal straight razor. During the shave, Dave dropped a few hints, but Jim wasn’t inclined to share much with a total stranger. Telling his barber was dangerous enough.

After returning home, Jim felt something strange on his back inside the shirt. Upon taking it off, a folded paper fell out. It stated, “When you decide you need help, call.” A phone number was given. Another couple of restless nights convinced Jim he needed help, so the call was made.

“Go to the East park by the river, tomorrow noon and wait. Someone will contact you.” A click let Jim know the call was over. He had many questions, but they must wait until the next day. In the past, Jim had watched many old spy movies, but never thought he would have the leading role in a story.

Jim watched people come and go. Joggers working out. Lovers walking hand in hand. Out of no where he noticed a blond approaching him. She stopped in front of Jim and wiggled a few parts of her body.

“Do you like them.”

“Excuse me Miss, but I waiting on someone. Any other time I’d be very interested.” She smiled and sat down beside Jim.

“How would you like me for a girlfriend?” It hit Jim like a load of lead. It’s a new way to approach someone and could be perceived to be totally innocent flirting.

“Are you the person I’m waiting on?”

“You’re very wise to not judge a book by its cover. Call me Emily and from this point forward I’m your new found love. Get it.”

“No, I don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry, you will. Now start acting the part.” Emily moved close and kissed Jim on the cheek. At the same time she whispered, “We are being watched, so just act natural. Make it look as though we are lovers.” She took Jim’s hand and pulled him to his feet. They took a slow stroll holding hands.

“I’m part of an organization that helps people like you. If it weren’t for us, many an entrepreneur would just vanish. The system would consume them without so much as a hiccup. I will protect you from that system.” Jim was silent as they continued their stroll.

“Jim, I know this is all new and strange to you, but trust me. I’m here to help.” They walked for hours with long periods of silence woven into the stroll. Many questions were asked. Emily answered as best she could, but her knowledge was limited. Jim learned a very large organization was behind him now. Emily had access to a slush fund and politely forget to disclose the amount.

“How far is this girlfriend thing gonna go?”

“I was chosen for a reason. Your physiological profile suggests we are very compatible. If you can grow to like my outer beauty, I’m sure you will be even more impressed with my inner beauty.” Emily giggled and gave a shy, little girl look.

“My IQ will rival yours.”

“Just how long have you people been watching me.”

“Long enough for me to fall in love with you. Let’s get something to eat. I haven’t had lunch, yet.”