Screaming Like a Little Girl

The monster's hot, steamy breath smelled like decayed skunk. My stomach churned, and I almost lost my breakfast, but that would be disastrous, so I covered my mouth and forced it down. My chameleon suit can keep me from being seen, but it can't hide puke.

The giant tiger-like creature sharpened its claws on the other side of the massive tree I had chosen to hide behind. Even as a kid, I was never any good at finding hiding places, and I was usually the first one found. Actually, I'm not good at doing anything on this alien planet. I should have ordered Alora to find water for our hydrogen generator. But, no, I'm Captain Williams. I must lead by example. My promotion is going to get me killed.

The monstrous beast grew bored of sharpening its claws and meandered far enough from my tree that I dared to take another peek. I gasped on the inside, though not on the outside. I've made that mistake once before, and I have no plans on repeating it. The size of the monster made me internally gasp. It would have made an ancient Spartan pee his tunic. Almost as big as an elephant, but unlike an elephant, his short hair alternated between brown and orange stripes, like a bangle tiger. He also sported a black mane and a tail that ended in a ball of spikes, which was both intimidating and reluctantly cool. I'm sure it would be great for killing marooned galactic surveyors, like myself.

As I sized up the monster, he paused and sniffed the air. I felt a breeze come from behind. He must have caught my scent. I ducked behind my tree.

His heavy paws cracked limbs and dried leaves. In moments, he closed in on my tree with his putrid breath. I almost did what an ancient Spartan might have done, but then I remembered that animals are really good at smelling pee, which is also another thing my chameleon suit can't do anything about.

The monster sniffed loudly as it partially rounded the trunk. If I don't do something, I'm going to be eaten, and wouldn't that be ironic, to survive a crash landing just to be eaten by Tigerzilla? I looked around and spied a rock, and threw it as far as I could without moving too much. The monster bolted towards the rock.

Panicking is in my nature, and so is running for my life. Bolting in the opposite direction of the monster, I immediately heard the beast run after me. My suit makes me invisible, but the beast could easily smell my fear, and by the sound of it, Tigerzilla was gaining on me. I began to scream, for a lack of anything constructive to do.

I spotted a hole in the side of a giant tree just large enough for me, but too small for the monster. If it were deep enough to be out of claw range, I could wait the beast out. Unfortunately, there's no way to know until I get inside, but I had no other option. I certainly wasn't going to outrun him.

I dove into the hole, scrambling to get as far back as I could. The monster's arm soon followed, pawing the ground and sides of the tree. It reached farther. I pressed myself against the tree trunk. The arm came short. I sighed and relaxed a bit. Now all I had to do was wait.

After evaluating my situation, the waiting game turned out to be more like a game of chicken with only one ship able to move. I couldn't go anywhere. The monster gave up pawing and seemed content to lie outside for me.

Anger welled up inside, and shouts burst forth, "Go away! You brute! Leave! Shoo! Move it!"

Nothing. The monster didn't even raise its head.

Next came desperation. Shouts of help poured out until my voice went hoarse. Collapsing in utter hopelessness, I balled up in the fetal position, resigned to die of dehydration or starvation or some other kind of death that ends with "-ation."

But then a familiar voice rang out—Alora's voice. I tried to shout. To warn her of the monster, but the beast got up and ran towards her. Forcing my legs to run, I chased after the beast, but to my shock, I found Alora petting the wretched thing.

"What is going on?" I said.

Alora commanded the beast to sit, and like an obedient dog, it did. She turned to me, "I heard a little girl screaming for help."

"A little girl?" I didn't hear a girl.

"Yes, but unless a little girl is hiding in the same hole you came from, it must have been you."

My defenses went up. "I'll have you know, in most circles, my scream is considered manly."

She raised an eyebrow. "Were you screaming about this guy?"

"Why, yes! Monsters who are about to eat me tend to make me scream."

"He won't eat you, or anybody. Haven't you seen creatures like him? I've seen dozens since we crash landed yesterday."

"Are you telling me there's more of them? What kind of planet is this?"

"He's friendly. He was playing with you."

"Yeah, sure he was."

"We need to hurry. We don't want the hydrogen generator to run out of water. The last thing we need is for the chameleon shield to power down." Alora dismissed the creature, and he ran out of sight to who knows where.

I've never known an android with such confidence. It makes being the leader very difficult.

"Most androids are barely competent and rarely able to make decisions on their own. You're unique. I must admit I've grossly underestimated you."

"It's because you're used to working with androids built on Earth."

"Weren't you built on Earth?"

"No."

I waited for her to elaborate. We walked in silence for several minutes until I couldn't take it any longer.

"So where are you from?"

"Outside the Union."

And that's all she said. I couldn't get any more information. She's not an ordinary android, and considering our predicament, that's probably a good thing, even if it means humble pie for me.

We were getting close to our star cruiser, but I couldn't remember exactly where it crashed.

"Where did we park?"

"Park?" Alora shook her head. "You are a strange man." She pointed to a spot in the middle of a grain field, "Over there."

"Cool. That's where I thought it was."

"You're unbelievable."

And that's how we ended our adventure for the day. With the hydrogen generator loaded with plenty of water, we can safely head out to hunt for dylanium. But that's tomorrow. Tonight we rest, and if I'm lucky, I can annoy Alora a bit.