Ava knelt on her knees in the dirt and watched a giant swallowtail butterfly float past, bobbing on the breeze with each flutter of its black and blue wings. It gracefully drifted down to Quinn’s polka dot gloves and landed on his middle finger. She glanced up to his face, sure he couldn’t feel the touch of the butterfly, and discovered he had indeed noticed the visitor. He sat perfectly still, with a soft smile on his face.
The butterfly took flight again in search of colors more tasty than the gloves, but Ava kept her eyes focused on Quinn. His long, dark lashes flitted up and down as his cornflower blue eyes followed the undulating path of the butterfly. When it disappeared into the rows of bucketed roses, his gaze dropped to a half-transplanted bush, lashes skimming high cheekbones. His resemblance to the delicate creature wasn’t lost on Ava.
She had so many questions about the butterfly. Like, where did it go at night? Did it have friends or a family? And how did it manage to look so beautiful in a field of roses?
Ava’s secret perusal went unnoticed, as always, which was quite convenient due to the frequency of her studies. Quinn either made it his job to ignore her curious eyes or he was too wrapped up in his own world, and Ava realized with dismay that she would probably never know the answer. After a whole month of working silently on projects side by side at the garden center, she didn’t even know his age or whether his polka dot gloves meant he wouldn’t be interested in her or any other girl.
She knew very little when it came to boys and interacting with them. Her high school days had been rather gray and hectic, like a never ending storm; with her dad sick with cancer, she had spent all of her free time helping out around the house and entertaining her three younger siblings while her parents went to chemo treatments. On sunny days, she took the kids out in the garden and showed them how to care for the plants- separating bulbs, pruning, deadheading, and watering the right amount, but mainly just to breathe in the fresh air. Watching the earth renew itself got her through the toughest days after his death.
Ava pushed the rich potting soil into place around the roots of a coral drift rose, making sure to fill all the air pockets with her sturdy fingers. Even this small bush gleamed despite its pre-bloom state, with silky, round leaves glistening in the sun. She knew why the butterflies didn’t stop to look at her- there was nothing flashy about her. She was muted like the earth. Even her leather work gloves lacked bright colors. She had never really cared until now, but it suddenly felt unfair.
She pulled off the gloves and spread her fingers for inspection. Hmm. Short and knuckle-y with black dirt in the creases. Why couldn’t she have been born with slender fingers with oval nails and soft, creamy skin that begged to be touched?
“What’s wrong?”
Ava glanced up in surprise. The blue eyes watched her curiously. That was a first. She shook her head and squinched her eyes shut as embarrassment clouded her brain and blocked all word flow.
“You never stop,” he said softly.
Nothing came to mind except her last, ridiculous thought, shallow as it was. “I don’t like my hands.”
Quinn glanced at her hands, and Ava shoved them back into her gloves, ready to die of shame.
“You have magic fingers.”
His words surprised her again, and she slowly looked up at him. Had he been reading Harry Potter or something? She was as muggle as they came…
Quinn nodded to the rose. “You know how to make them flourish. You’re the reason the butterflies come here.”
“Me?” She frowned and studied the rose in front of her. She loved helping them grow. Maybe that was a beautiful thing. When she finally looked at Quinn, she found he had returned to the tunnel vision that made him unreachable. Ava grinned sheepishly as she finished filling the plastic pot with dirt and moved on to the next plant.
A few minutes later, a buzzing noise made them both pause again. Ava watched as Quinn slid his hands out of the gloves and held a phone to his ear with the tips of his fingers.
“Hello? How’s he doing? Awesome, I’ll be there to pick him up at 5:30. Ciao.”
Ava had never heard so many words from him in one day… He had an accent, and does he have a kid?! Be reasonable, Ava, maybe it’s a dog.
He looked at her with questions in his eyes. Was he just mirroring her? Ava was sure there was nothing about her to inspire curiosity.
“We get off in ten minutes. Do you want to come with me to pick up Mateo?” he asked.
Ava tilted her head, nervous to commit to anything with someone so secretive. “Who’s Mateo?”
His eyes twinkled. “You’ll see.”
Ava scrubbed her hands with soap and warm water in the bathroom, then used her wet fingers to tuck the flyaway hairs behind her ears. She shrugged at herself in the mirror and bit her lip to contain a smile. He might be a beautiful ax murderer for all she knew, but she had always been that kid chasing butterflies…
Quinn’s CR-V was clean and tidy, and it smelled like lemons. He moved a bag of books off the front seat to make room for Ava, and she peered into the back. No baby car seat. They drove in companionable silence for a few minutes across town, a feeling they were already familiar with. She snuck furtive glances at him whenever he turned or looked in the side mirror. He finally caught her, and his lips curved as he pulled up in front of a veterinarian clinic.
Ava breathed a sigh of relief. “So Mateo is a dog. I’m glad my first guess wasn’t right.”
He pulled the keys and flashed an impish grin. “Want to come in?”
“Yeah, definitely,” she said, more curious than ever. He bounded across the sidewalk and pulled the door open for her. She could feel the excitement radiating off him as she passed inches away.
The smell of pet odors and flea repellant greeted them as they entered the building and walked up to the counter. A young woman glanced up and smiled brightly when she saw Quinn.
“Mr. Perez!” she chirped as she pulled a paper out of a folder. “Mateo did great, only a little nervous at the beginning, and then he chattered the rest of the time.”
“He always talks enough for the both of us.”
Ava watched their exchange with open curiosity. Was Mateo a parrot? And the lady was totally into Quinn. She leaned forward eagerly on her folded arms as she spoke to him.
“The doc thinks maybe a little less fruit in his diet will help with the stomach issues. Other than that, he looks great! I’ll bring him right out.” She breezed across the room and returned thirty seconds later carrying a crate.
Small, hairy fingers gripped the bars of the door and a childlike face peeked timidly at Ava.
“A monkey?!”
Quinn nodded. “Meet Mateo. He’s a capuchin monkey, native to Venezuela. Like me.”
“Wow.” She bent down to get a better view and spoke softly. “Hi, little guy.”
Mateo squeaked in response and inspected Ava from head to toe with keen black eyes.
“See? Friends already.”
Quinn handed her a bag of treats and turned to the counter to pay. Mateo reached an arm out through the door and held his hand open. Ava carefully stroked his soft, little palm with her finger, then placed a treat in it. He pulled his arm back and popped it in his mouth, then reached out for another.
Ava giggled. “You’re a greedy little fella, aren’t you? I like treats, too. Maybe one more before we go.”
Outside, Quinn buckled the carrier into the backseat, then hopped behind the wheel again.
Ava shook her head in disbelief as countless thoughts and questions flooded her brain. “I can’t tell you how surprised I am! Mateo is adorable. Wait, do you also work at the zoo or is he your pet? Is it legal to have a pet monkey? When did you move here from Venezuela? That’s a long way to migrate! Did you bring Mateo with you?”
Quinn leaned quickly across the center console and covered her lips with his own to stop the flow of words. It worked- Ava froze in shock. His dark lashes fluttered shut, so she closed her eyes and let him lead. His soft lips caressed hers, pressing and releasing in waves of warmth. She stopped thinking and melted against him as their kiss took on a life of its own and gained momentum. He tasted sweet and exotic, and Ava’s heart pounded as passion flowed through her.
Mateo squeaked in the backseat, and Quinn’s smile spread against her mouth. “He’s jealous I’m kissing a pretty girl.”
“Has he seen this before?” Ava asked with closed eyes as his lips moved over her jaw and into the soft spot of her neck. She panted and gripped the armrest in pleasant distress.
“Too many questions,” he whispered, moving back to her lips, salty now from her skin.
If no answers meant kisses like this, she was happy to close her eyes to the mounting questions about his mysterious life. After another minute, Ava felt like her heart might fly right out of her chest and leave her body behind. She pulled away and leaned back against the door to recover, looking at him through hazy eyes. The color was high in his cheeks, and his chest rose and fell rapidly like hers. He averted his gaze, shy once again, and cleared his throat.
“You taste like sunshine,” he said as he turned the car on. “I need to get Mateo home. I can show you where he lives.”
“Okay.” She was strapped in and committed to this roller coaster ride. Since Quinn already knew she had a strange streak of vanity in her, Ava pulled down the console mirror to see if she looked disheveled. She tucked the hair behind her ears again and noticed her glassy eyes. Whew. That was an intense first kiss. She popped the mirror back into place.
Quinn slowed down for a stop sign. He reached over and ruffled her hair, completely messing it up again.
“Quinn!” She smacked his arm as her eyes widened. This was totally new territory. She had no idea how to act right now.
“Let it look like you just came out of a storm.”
She laughed and shook it all free. “I did, thanks to you.”
He smiled and turned into a neighborhood. Expansive lots covered in old oak trees with large houses dominated both sides of the road as they wound their way deeper in. He pulled into the driveway of a sprawling ranch and parked by the garage. A handicap ramp extended from the side of the house.
Ava watched Quinn nervously as he pulled Mateo’s carrier out of the car. He nodded toward the side door with his head, so she followed him up the ramp. He unlocked the door, and they stepped into a very modern kitchen, but it wasn’t white and black like the mainstream remodels Ava had seen, all on the Joanna Gaines bandwagon. This one was decked out in sleek grays and burnt orange, with pale wood accents. It was like a work of art.
“Camila!” Quinn called, with no response. “She’s usually in the back.”
Ava trailed behind him and marveled at how the color scheme flowed into the living room, the colors softening to a more muted, but similar palette. The place somehow managed to look professionally decorated as well as homey and inviting.
The sound of beeping drew her attention away from the décor. Quinn pressed the final number into a key pad, and a giant glass door slid open for them. Ava’s mouth fell open as she walked into the next room.
The door closed quietly behind them. Ava spun a slow circle in a lush jungle enclosed in glass. “Is this where Mateo lives?” she asked in awe.
“Mm-hmm.”
The glass room ran the entire length of the house, with tropical trees, vines, and flowers growing everywhere. A mosaic tile path wide enough for a wheelchair wound through the garden. A butterfly floated past her face. Tiny blue, green, and yellow birds chirped and flitted among the branches of the trees. A fountain gurgled nearby.
Ava giggled. “Is this place real? I feel like I’m in a dream.”
Quinn opened the carrier, and Mateo zipped out. He climbed to the top of the nearest tree where he could watch Ava from a safe distance.
The door whooshed open behind them, and a beautiful young woman rolled through in a wheelchair. Ava guessed immediately from her high cheekbones, dark hair, and bright blue eyes that she was Quinn’s sister.
“What took you so long?” Quinn asked.
“You have no patience for the girl in a wheelchair. It’s always ‘go here,’ ‘do that,’ ‘faster Camila!’”
He picked up her hand and kissed it. “Only because I know how capable you are.”
She smiled with pleasure, then focused her sharp gaze on Ava. Her blue eyes brightened. “Is this the rose?”
Ava looked back and forth between them, searching for sarcasm or mockery in their faces. Quinn only blushed and nodded, but Camila beamed and rolled forward in her wheelchair with an outstretched hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ava.”
She knew her name, while Ava felt like she knew less about them by the second. She shook her hand. “You too. I’ve never met anyone who had a pet monkey.”
“Did he tell you my husband is a zoologist?”
“No, he’s told me nothing!”
“Quinn, you promised you would talk to her!” Camila scolded, then turned on Ava. “How did he get you to come here with no information? What if he was an ax murderer, hm?”
Ava laughed. “The thought crossed my mind, but I guess I wanted to uncover his secrets.”
“What did the vet say about Mateo?”
“To give him less fruit. Monkeys are expensive pets. Do you want to see the vet bill?” Quinn pulled the paper out of his pocket.
“No, thank you. Just stick it in the filing cabinet. We have too much money, anyway. I think we should get another.”
Quinn turned to Ava to explain. “Camila would like a whole troop of monkeys, but I think Mateo is enough mischief for now.”
“But you love Mateo, I can tell! You couldn’t wait to pick him up,” Ava said.
Camila laughed. “She can read you already, Quinn.”
“That’s because she watches me all the time.”
Ava pursed her lips together, guilty, but they ignored her embarrassment.
“Did you tell the vet about him eating one of the parakeets the other day?”
Quinn shook his head. “Nope! Just a normal part of a capuchin’s diet.”
“Ava, would you like to eat dinner with us tonight?” Camila asked. Four matching blue eyes looked at her, right as a parakeet landed on her shoulder.
Ava breathed slowly through her lips and tried not to laugh. “Thank you, but not tonight. My mom is rounding up my siblings from soccer practice, and then she’s going to pick me up here.”
The bird chirped loudly in her ear and she leaned her head away laughing. It swooped down to the “forest floor” to peck at seeds.
“Let’s go into the kitchen, and we’ll get you something to drink while you wait.”
Ava watched as Camila skillfully maneuvered her wheelchair through the house. She looked very heathy despite her disability, but Ava didn’t want to ask about it. “Quinn said you’re from Venezuela. When did you move here?”
“Ten years ago.”
Ava sat down at the kitchen table and accepted a bottle of water from Quinn. “Do your parents live here, too?”
“Nope.”
“Did they leave you a large inheritance or something?”
“She asks a lot of questions.” Camila winked at Quinn.
“People only say that when they’re trying to hide something.”
She shrugged. “Usually it’s easier to not go into it…”
Ava rested her chin on her fists, elbows on the table, waiting.
Camila laughed at her rapt attention. “Basically, it’s a long, messy story spanning several generations and continents. Do you plan on coming back?”
Ava nodded enthusiastically.
“Quinn, don’t you dare scare her off! Say all the sweet things you’re thinking,” she commanded, then looked back at Ava with a regal tilt of her chin. “We’ll save it for next time to keep you interested.”
Ava stood and looked at Quinn. “My mom is almost here.” She spun a circle with a frown. “Where did Camila go?”
“I tease her about being slow, but she’s as stealthy as a panther.”
Ava looked down at her worn work boots, suddenly self-conscious again. “Thank you for the adventure today.” Her phone vibrated. “She’s here.”
Ava turned to the side door, but he grabbed her hand and pulled her into his arms. She looked up into his beautiful face with uncertainty, unsure of everything except the way her heart pounded when he touched her.
Then he kissed her softly, like a butterfly landing on a rose.
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27 comments
Holly, you have a charming and smooth writing style (at least, in this story--which, by the way--and as you no doubt know--has no ending, and perhaps you should have noted it as only the first part of a story/book, because I was expecting one, and everyone else will be also). I liked the phrase, "pleasant distress" and others. Your grammar is generally great and I like your variation in phrasing, etc. You haven't left me much to criticize here, with a few exceptions, which I'll mention briefly. Two hyphenations are not necessary: knuckle-y ...
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Thanks for all your feedback, Roger! I didn’t write this with plans to continue it. I left it hanging because the secrets of the butterfly kept expanding, and Ava, like the readers, left with more questions than answers. She did learn, though, that she had beauty to offer the world, especially through her gardening, and their interactions during that day gave that to her. I probably should have expressed that at the end to tie it all up, but I ran out of words, and I actually hadn’t learned how to end stories at that point! Still working on...
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It is quite all right to make mistakes, Holly; that's how we learn, and even "old dogs" do it. Actually, I did catch that ending and it was sweet, so I guess it could be considered the end of a story (which I thought after hitting the "reply" button. I think that you could make a very good or great writer with enough time. No one can say but you. \ However, if your art does not seem to click for you, I suggest you are laboring under a misapprehension and other people's ideas. It happens that I was first an artist, from a young age (my mothe...
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Unfortunately, I had a lot of things hindering my satisfaction in my art (during the process and when looking at the final product), such as mainly painting what others wanted for commissions instead of what brought me joy, criticizing my work and trying to create what would sell, and starting over my little business every time we moved with the military. I got so burned out for those reasons that I stopped after my kids were born, and I haven’t painted in five years. But lately, I’ve felt the itch to play with the paint and the colors just ...
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I hear you Holly. Art for others is a pain sometimes. I got into commercial painting before and after being a teacher, house painting, but what I really took pleasure in was decorative painting (faux wood, stone, etc. and effects). As to my writing: I had a lot when I was young and in one of those artistic madness things through it all away. Even a story my writing teacher thought was good. I never seemed to find the time after that. Military, then school, and etc. The last few years of school I decided that I would have to schedule or it...
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I hear you Holly. Art for others is a pain sometimes. I got into commercial painting before and after being a teacher, house painting, but what I really took pleasure in was decorative painting (faux wood, stone, etc. and effects). As to my writing: I had a lot when I was young and in one of those artistic madness things through it all away. Even a story my writing teacher thought was good. I never seemed to find the time after that. Military, then school, and etc. The last few years of school I decided that I would have to schedule or it...
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It is quite all right to make mistakes, Holly; that's how we learn, and even "old dogs" do it. Actually, I did catch that ending and it was sweet, so I guess it could be considered the end of a story (which I thought after hitting the "reply" button. I think that you could make a very good or great writer with enough time. No one can say but you. \ However, if your art does not seem to click for you, I suggest you are laboring under a misapprehension and other people's ideas. It happens that I was first an artist, from a young age (my mothe...
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hey, i really liked your story! i think you're a very talented writer :) i just had something i wanted to point out- "A handicap ramp extended from the side of the house." this was what i first noticed, and once i'd seen that it was easy to see the other parts you wrote--it's fine if you disagree, but i feel like you negatively/inaccurately portrayed disability. for instance, "handicap" isn't really an appropriate word to use anymore, and many disabled people prefer terms like "accessible," so for a specific example, i'd get rid of the word ...
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Thank you for bringing that to my attention! I have to admit, I didn’t know those words were offensive. I don’t personally know anyone who uses a wheelchair, so I’ve never seen it from their perspective. I can’t edit this version, but I’ll edit it in my saved version on my computer. Take out the word handicap, and anything else? I want to make sure it’s not offensive. Part of it is seeing through Ava’s eyes too, though, so I’m assuming she was as ignorant of it as I am!
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I guess what I thought I was doing was being descriptive about the person who lived there by mentioning the ramp and the width of the garden path to set up the character who was coming next. Are my adjectives offensive or mentioning it in general? I don’t ask out of defensiveness, just embarrassingly clueless here. I’m assuming that disabled people would rather be represented in fiction than completely left out, but perhaps I represented them incorrectly? I’m so sorry to offend!
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you're fine, no worries :) i don't have a physical disability myself, i just know a bit about the community and try to be an ally haha- - so, in general the word handicap/handicapped is a nono, because it carries negative connotations and is just an outdated word to use in general- most disabled people prefer "accessible" - "“You have no patience for the girl in a wheelchair. It’s always ‘go here,’ ‘do that,’ ‘faster Camila!’” He picked up her hand and kissed it. “Only because I know how capable you are.” i might leave out this part, since...
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Ah, you’re right, so much redundancy and I didn’t even realize I was doing it!! I have to admit, what I like about her referring to herself as the girl in the wheelchair is her humor and confidence and the close relationship she has with her brother which allows for them to make light of it. I wanted her to be a strong character, the Queen of the house. Seriously, thank you for bringing all of this to my attention. I will make changes and strive to be more sensitive in the future! 💕
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of course— thanks for being so receptive and polite :)
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I have to respond to this one comment, Holly (about "handicapped"). Your characters will be as knowledgeable or ignorant as you make them. The author should not be seen or heard, that's true, but unless there is a reason for a character to miss this point (as in, insensitive), you should not either. Your job is to shape your theme to the readers. I did not point it out because I didn't think of it, only the literary/grammar/story-writing elements, but Inkstained--was right about that. This is where research and much thought comes into writin...
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Yes, you’re totally right. I have to plead ignorance on this one. I would have researched it and approached it differently if I had realized there were words I shouldn’t say, like handicapped, but it’s one I see around town and on signs and in books, so I had never been made aware that it could be offensive or hurtful. I am glad I know now, though, and I have shared what I’ve learned with my family and friends.
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It is simply the world we live in, Holly. Especially at this time. In fact, that word did just fine with no bias at one time. When a chess player, for instance, takes off a piece for a junior player, that's a "handicap," and it is done in sports as well. We all should know that there does not need to be any implied meaning in the word, but now it's a reminder that someone may be sub-par, or not like everyone else. Impossible to always avoid things like this--ergo, the need for reviews by more than one person before publishing professionally ...
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This was brilliant! I loved the secretive Quinn and the overly curious Ava. They really complimented each other. The type of pet was definitely unexpected and I liked your choice. I really liked it, well done!!
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Thanks Sam! It was fun to write, didn’t really have a plan for it, but the mystery just seemed to flow and I kept adding more secrets!
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What a lovely story! It is very engaging and well written. Everything flowed smoothly; I appreciated the ending imagery circling back to the beginning.
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Thanks Taylor! Your “Poodle” story circled back nicely as well!
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Very nice story... drew me right in! I'll have to check the rest of your submissions
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Thanks for reading Chris!
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I enjoyed your story. It is very well written. There are a few places you should make it easier to understand who is speaking, Such as when she is asked to stay for dinner. I wasn't sure who asked.
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Thanks Pam! I have to admit I don’t even know who asked it, just someone with blue eyes haha! But if that’s weird for readers then I will definitely clarify. I’ll go through and look at my dialog tags. Thanks for the feedback!!
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Wow! That really draws you in and keeps you on the edge of your seat!! Incredibly written story and very descriptive; I loved it and can’t wait for part 2! Great job!!!!
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Thank you so much Thomas! I’m glad you enjoyed it.
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