Rosa Mori

Submitted into Contest #96 in response to: Start your story in an empty guest room.... view prompt

627 comments

Fiction

Author's Note: I don't really like this story but it's my first step to get back into writing again... so constructive criticism is always appreciated!!! Rosa Mori is Latin for 'dying rose' which you would later make sense of towards the end :) Thank you to Ruth for helping me fix my grammatical errors!



We were moving again. My dad had left us to confinement within the empty barriers of that cold, unforgiving room. That room bound me through its dead walls, walls that lay a pale grey as those suitcases were ready to be piled again.


The tuft of unruly mundane brown hair found itself tucked behind my reddened ears, careless and lazy, like my brandished soul. Fumbling through my winter coat, I grasped upon my splinted car keys, a metallic red keychain symbolized as a dying heart that lay helplessly, dangling by the rusted copper keys.


Locking the door behind as mom cleared away the rest of the empty storage boxes, I slipped into my car, my jolting head ducking its dented red frames, sided with smoky grey. Dirt cracked nails drumming against the tarnished wheel of my beat Honda. The radio recently instilled rambled away as I looked into the rearview mirror, examining any smudged mascara that had gone wrong this morning.


Thudding the break with a reflexed foot, I switched at the keyhole that lay filth driven through the splintering decay of the key. I tucked the plastic folder full of overflooding math worksheets under my heavy-hearted arms. I slipped into the brightly lit room; my eyes scanned for a vacant spot within a bustling crowd. They went about their business; without consideration of my existence. It made me wonder how everyone's life could attain such normality: the same schedule, the same routine while mine had to change constantly, trying to fit into the fantasies of mom-- although it was hard to.


I plopped down into the far corner of the cafe's tables, pulled over the bright floral printed mask over my chilled face, honeysuckle eyes prying at the entrance, waiting for Darby to promenade in with Mrs Wright striding behind her only daughter. And she did, through the streaking sunlight, the two came inside, abandoning the scrawly streets.


"Debbie! I thought this was class cancelled--cause you're moving!", the 10-year-old looked in amusement, a splatter of ebony freckles clouding over the bridge of her nose as she smiled, her crumpled chipped tooth outshining the rest gleefully. I smiled, outpouring warmth elongated from within as I pinched her nose in an attempt to feel like the best tutor in the world. Mrs Wright kept her smile stern, shoving a 50 onto the glossed oak table.


"This lesson and the other two lessons are covered. Since you'd be moving soon, Deborah, I decided to add a ten", she muttered before she strode out to her expensive car that waited patiently.


A content sigh escaped from my lips, wispy with sharp intakes of unnecessary breaths. I slipped the 50 into my purse before turning back to the grinning girl in front.


"Okay, do you want to start with Math or English first?" I pulled out my pencil case and clicked at the pen lamely.


"Math, the worst should be the first." she goes on, her eyes drawn to her worksheets with scrawly handwriting that had been gone over with rushed cursive scribbles in inky red.


"Wait, I'll get something for you to drink," I called, dusting off at any non-existent crumbs at my overly loose denim jeans that screamed with the worst fashion sense, paired up with a baggy green turtleneck and thick-framed glasses.


My hands swiped over to the counter, hands gently going over to the blunt silver to eject a sharp mimicking screech that fell to deaf ears of the young girl at the counter whose hair swept into a neat silky black bun with strands that fell against her powdered cheeks.


She looked up, bright-eyed, face full of recognition as I was a usual customer. Every Monday evening, Wednesday afternoon, and Saturday morning, I came in to tutor Darby. As expected, I had become acquaintances with most of the staff.


"Oh, uh... Chloe! Pumpkin Spice Latte as usual for me and--for Darby, of course, orange juice would do." I grinned, slipping 5 dollars over the counter.


"Sure! Uh, we've lowered the price down, so it'll be $3.45",


"Oh! Okay. Just keep the change then", I smiled before returning to the distinctively disorganized table.


"Messy aesthetics?" I raised a brow before I slipped into my seat. I went on to mark the sheet put forth by Darby; her forehead scrunched into concentration. Perseverance was the girl's middle name she said after learning the meaning of her new spelling word.


"You wanna move onto English now, Darbs? Since you've finished your math?" I said. I handed back her marked sheets, gone over in splotches of red cursives and illusionary numbers.


"Hmm? Sure! I don't think I have any questions!" she beamed, shoving the rest of her slovenly math into the pits of her overflowing bag that lay imprinted with ebony zebra markings against the hot pink background, patched with remnants of debris. Inside, crumpled sheets sank to the bottom in a fury of impatient hands who didn't seem to care where her hard work had flooded to its ends.


I handed out to her a new list of spelling words as the steamy drink arrived, the drink cooling beneath the milky white cream and bubbling foam that lay decorated with a sift of crushed cinnamon. It was nothing special, but my favourite out of the menu.


Darby took her interest in the brimming glass of orange juice before taking a benevolent sip, too large for her mouth to withstand the trickles of salivated orange juice that ran down her chin. The ignorant girl took no notice of this.


"Okay... let's try this word out!" I smiled, clicking a mechanical pencil for Darby to use as she stared at her snapped one.


"Uh... I-R-E-G-A-R-D-L-E-S", she uttered, her pale eyes squeezed into fistfuls of tightly wrapped skin.


"Oh! Nice try but, it's wrong. Ir-re-gard-less. Try again!",


"I-R-E-G-A-R-D-L-E-S-S! Did I do it?" her eyes glinted upon me.


"That was better, but it is, I-R-R-E-G-A-R-D-L-E-S-S! You forgot the double 'R', that's all!" I patted her shoulder before taking a milky sip out of the cup that sat, filled to the very top.


My eyes skimmed over to the ticking clock that sounded quietly. Everyone sat unaware of the time. Wednesday afternoons always had the least amount of time, probably because Darby would have another class after this. I assumed it was piano lessons.


"C'mon, your mom will be here soon, and I have to get home to help finish packing! Wait here and tidy your spot. Finish your juice!" I told her while I took my latte to the counter.


"Hey, Nina! Would you mind putting my drink in a paper cup?" I have to get going!" I looked over, neck-craning, to see the girl bringing over a paper cup projecting a green aura of painted leaves, pouring the rest of it skillfully with ease.


"Here you go, girl! Have a great time in-- what's that place called again?" she chuckled. Nina was a pit full of laughter and smiles, flaunting with positive vibes.


"Pennsylvania, Thanks!" I smiled, grabbing the cup and returning to my table to put away my folders.


A burly man with an exotic fiery red moustache and deep green eyes who deemed to look like I had seen him my whole childhood had left a receipt before me it was scooped into my adorned hands, spiking with dirt. 'Barny Beans" was labelled carefully at the top in carefully typed fonts in cursive.


"Um, thank you, sir!" I called out, shoving the receipt into my coat's pocket, grabbing my tote, and placing out a pleased pile of notes at the tip.


"Do you want to wait outside?" I looked at Darby. She pulled a chunky beanie over her head, grimacing at the fact that she needed to wear it.


The wind hit against my pale winter struck face, numbing me of most of my embellishing senses. Stuffing my hands into my pocket, I felt my hand go against something crisp, something new, like paper, not thin like the receipt. Pulling it out, I realised it was an envelope that had trailed into my pocket while I stashed away the tinted bills.


I flipped it onto its conjoining side, to see neat cursives, labelled to the irony of my name, "Debbie, my darling" although I had no lover and within was a rose, my favourite deep red rose... but it was dying... gently succumbing...

June 01, 2021 03:57

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627 comments

I don't REALLY like this story but it's a step to rid my frustrations over writer's block :) I hate when it happens but sometimes, you have to step up against it! The title's Latin and it means 'dying rose', in case the Author's Note was not read! I attempted to be creative...

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Wowza~ This was an amazing story and you should love it too!!! The descriptions were SO GOOD> OMG I LOVE MESELF A GOOD DESCRIPTION dfjhdshfiwjkvkla *chefs kiss*

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Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's kinda good... Surprise surprise, it was the fasted story I've written for Reedsy in 1 hr which is not that fast! LOL! Hehe... Thank you so much! What can I call you on Reedsy?

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uhhhhh... Rachel? lol what else. unless you think of a good nickname ;)

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hmmmmm. IDK!!!! Can u think of a nickname for me lol

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Kk! Wait a sec.... Rae? I don't want to put in Ray cause... you know and I'm sure you know so Rae? Ask about Ray on Skype... K?

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Aw, I read your bio and I hope you feel better soon <33 life is kinda a pain in the butt sometimes, but it’s that kind of annoying person where you’ve just gotta smile until they go away. Love a mirror today and have a great day kween πŸ₯Ί

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Hello Aerin, sorry for the late reply... yea, it's not exactly a person but a bad, really sad situation in my life... Thanks, Aerin, I'm really lucky and grateful that there's such a sweet community looking out for me :)

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Aw, no worries….ah, yea, I kinda just meant life is like that one annoying person :) Ah, I’m sorry, if you ever want to talk about it, or if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know…of course <3

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:) Oh, sorry... yeah it is... Oh no, it's just that my uncle died and yeah... it's ok, you don't have to worry about it :)

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Cherry, what's up? You seem so sad. I'm sorry I haven't been around for a few days a lot has been going on lately. I really hope your okay, at least for now. I miss you and I hope you feel better soon. Cherry, I really hope you're okay. You don't seem so. Please don't ghost me. Even though I don't know you irl I care about you. Whatever's happening I know you'll get through. You're a strong girl. Please don't give up Your tremendously concerned Reedsy friend, Ruthy_May

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Hey Ruth! I'm glad to hear from you again! Yesterday my uncle died from covid and my family is a little... well... down so I'm just feeling emotional since he's my favourite uncle... Thanks, Ruth... I'm ok... it's my mum is the one who's not... I feel horrible...

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It seems as if there's been so much loss lately Cherry. I know how it feels to lose someone you've loved so much. I know how your mother must feel to lose a brother. I want you to know that it's okay to cry and to be sad. It's natural for you guys to feel down. I'm here for you whenever you need me. I really wish I could be w/ you to comfort you but I know Z will be able to do that. Like, I said you're a strong girl. You've gone through so much loss lately. I know your family will be able to get through this road of sadness. Please don't g...

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yeah... thanks, Ruth... I'm glad you will be... I told her last night and she replied this morning... she was comforting and so are you :) Yeah... of course, you can! Thank you so much, Ruth! I'm really grateful to you!

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Aforementioned before, I care about you:) It's no biggie. Thank you, I will right before I go to bed. Also, would it be beneficial for you if I gave you some space? I'll be here whenever you want to reach out. p.s I found that doc you sent. I put an upside-down emoji.

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Thanks Ruth! That's really sweet of you! I find it comforting to talk to you so it isn't necessary :) I saw! :)

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Cherry, this was gorgeous. Amazing job. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story. Amazing comeback! You were very consistent in your imagery and descriptions. I simply adore Rosa Mori. Excellent job! Sincerely, Ruthy_May

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OmG RUTH!!!!!!! YOU PUT SO MUCH TIME INTO THIS!!!!!!! I AM SO GRATEFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!!! I'll see if I can!

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Your welcome my friend. Anytime. I honestly enjoyed editing:) Sincerely, Ruthy_May

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YAY!!!!!!! I did it! Thank you again, Ruth!!!!!!!!!!!! DO you want to continue our convo here? You could ask those questions :)

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Sure! 1. 3 things you love about yourself (different from what you said before) 2. Something that makes you unique 3.Define what confidence means to you and how you would like to improve That's all for today!! Remember to answer honestly and to not be redundant! No 'I think' or 'I guess'. You have to be confident in your answers. I expect you to answer clearly, to think, and to elaborate. I want you to mean what you say and to apply it to your life. Be sincere!!! Bonus: Find a nearby mirror and look at your reflection. Say "I love you bec...

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... Kk... 1. I can't think of anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Positive mindset, Chatterbox, Supremely Weird. 2. Cares Way too much about people or creatures which can get unhealthy but that's just me :) 3. When you believe or have faith in yourself... ALthough I talk too much, put my hand up 24/7, I wanna do something BIG!!!!!!

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22:30 Oct 05, 2021

Hi! I found u after so long. You probably don't remember me but some of my past users were Sarah. H, Dizzier Lemon and Eleny Mal. Tbh I don't even remember myself This was written really like flowy; is that even a word? Actually, I think it is but basically it flows really nicely almost like a poem without being a poem I don't really remember too much of reedsy last year bc I basically forgot everything :( -Eleny

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Hiiiii! Long time no see! Definitely remember you! Haha, it's good to see you back on Reedsy again! Yep, that's a word! That's so nice of you to say, I went back over it 7 times, adding extra stuff to fill in uneven gaps and I think I did well :) Thank you for your kind words! Hmm yea... was it because of school? Is that why you took a break? It's alright :)

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22:27 Oct 11, 2021

Sorry lol I was meant to reply but I accidentally deleted my message from before

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04:43 Oct 12, 2021

How are you? Like are you happy? Has life been treating you well? (you can tell I'm bored)

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Tetricus Cobra
21:03 Sep 27, 2021

A few things: "Debbie! I thought this was class cancelled--cause you're moving!", - unnecessary comma. "This lesson and the other two lessons are covered. Since you'd be moving soon, Deborah, I decided to add a ten", - comma inside the quotation marks. I know you can't fix it, but just for future reference. Besides these, the story was very well written and had some great description. Well done.

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Thank you so much for the feedback, I'll definitely keep it in mind! Cheers!

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Tetricus Cobra
00:00 Oct 04, 2021

:)

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18:18 Aug 20, 2021

Happy birthday!

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18:18 Aug 22, 2021

How have you been?

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18:32 Aug 23, 2021

Good! I've got an audition for Annie in 2 days.

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Happy...maybe? Birthday! If not, then Happy early b-day SS! Wishing you all the best <3333

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Palak Shah
15:09 Aug 08, 2021

This is an amazing story and I love it and I adore Rosa Mori Well done :))) Could you please read my latest story if possible? :))

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Palak Shah
16:59 Aug 11, 2021

thanks :))

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YOUR BIO IS SO POETIC SIS OMG on another note, I’m bored, HALP

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Gaahhh! Thanks! Sammmmeeee! K, if you could be any animal what would it be? Sorry, I'm so weird!

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Np! Ooooh nice! Probably a unicorn. I can fly. Have magic. Be rainbow. Dope. Wbu hehe? (Also new story posted if you feel like checking it out~ Thank you! :3)

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:) I KNEW YOU WOULD SAY THAT! Hehe! I would be......... a duck? idk why... Are you a cat person or a dog person or... a person who likes both so much that they can't choose! I was just browsing thru Pinterest and I found this: https://luxurtraveller.co.uk/products/stop-canned-lion-hunting-t-shirt?_pos=3&_sid=c3f79255f&_ss=r&pp=0&epik=dj0yJnU9bHhGclFjejd2T20wMHBUcXlaYlp4NkktTHBubFdWWmwmcD0xJm49QWF1anR2bDNHTXkzQVctZDA2MGlxdyZ0PUFBQUFBR0QzV3Fv I feel disgusted, tbh... Oh sure! I read a preview of it like the first few lines and I'm alread...

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YUSSSS lol bootiful- I’m such a dog person omg ahhhhh that’s awfulβ€” Eek thank you!!!

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Haha! My mum had two dogs, unfortunately, my dad just cant bear pets so... I'm depressed... do you have a dog? Yeah... Welcome!

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𝔻okenai *
10:09 Jul 19, 2021

Im sorry for the late reply but... These ✨B E A U T I F U L✨ descriptions. I LOVE THEM!! This is a wonderful story, and it's great to see you breaking ur writer's block. Also, I love the title and the meaning behind it ❀️ Also, ik i don't rlly know u that well in school, I would love to talk sometime! Like, anytime when u feel like u just wanna rant about life being a bully to a random someone, I'm here! πŸ•ŠDoki

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Ah, it's fine! Aww! Thank you! I'm glad they aren't monotone and boring! I thought no one would notice the title lol! Haha, I attempted! Yeah sure! I'm awkward and I'm not the best with talking to people but ofc, I'd love to talk! ~SS

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𝔻okenai *
03:25 Jul 20, 2021

OFC they aren't boring! I think it just makes the story even better. Lol, I'm also a bit awkward at times. I guess everybody is, in a way. Plus, this is the first time i've ever actually commented on a type of social platform. I guess it feels more comfortable than youtube and stuff because of the supportive community❀️ πŸ•ŠDoki

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Haha! Have you ever felt like you used toooooo much description that the story kinda lags? I felt that lol. And I did it way toooo much. I deleted like five stories lol. Same here, LIKE RLLY AWKWARD!!!!! Yeah... possibly... I'd say I'm 70% extroverted and 30% introverted and over the last two years, I've grown to be more... introverted cause I rlly enjoy my company these days, just as much as I love being around peeps! I'm just awkward around people I just met or still getting to know. I don't rlly declare someone my friend if I've only bee...

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Bridget Summers
05:11 Jul 05, 2021

HELLOOOOOOO!?!?!??!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!?!?

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Bridget Summers
02:59 Jul 05, 2021

HI! WHATSUP!? I was just reading your comments (sorry im a stalker but im sure everyone does it but doesn't want to admit it ahahahah) SO U GO TO THE LIBRARY TO!?!?!? I do to! well in MY local library. Tell me more about it! what time do you mostly go there? is it fun? with anyone? whats your favourite place to sit in your library ??

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Hi! Nothing much, just soooo bored! My term breaks are so ugh. Haha! I do that sometimes ;) Ya! It's better than studying my head off at home lol!!! Yea, I'm going to the state library tmrw but for now, the local one is! I usually go there after lunch, from 1 or two pm until 6 sometimes? Yeah, it is! I like being by myself, chucking my crusty headphones on and taking a load of math notes ;) I usually get dropped off by my mum, it's like a 5 minute drive. Sometimes my mum comes too and she's usually doing her work stuff. My fave spot is ne...

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Bridget Summers
09:19 Jul 05, 2021

That sounds sooo fun omg. Your so lucky you have holidays! me on the other hand... working my butt off. I like sitting in the corner on this small square table. The sunlight comes in on my face and it's kinda hidden in rows of bookshelves. I prefer being away. Once I was forced to sit in the middle somewhere (there were no seats left) and I felt so insecure about the person behind staring at my laptop screen!!

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Hehe! In a way lucky, my sister's so damn annoying... are you in high school? SO RELATABLE!!!!! The middle space is THE WORST. Lol! Sometimes it legit feels like people are looking at my screen while they walk past! Same here!

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Bridget Summers
10:24 Jul 05, 2021

YAS FINALLY SOMEONE WHO RELATESSS. Yea im in high school. its TORTURE!!!! I love maths tho lmao.

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Haha, yea! Do you have siblings? EXACTLY! I'm legit suffering! Math isn't my fave but I do like it, just not as much as science and history

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Bridget Summers
09:21 Jul 05, 2021

What topic of maths do you take notes on??

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Rn, I'm doing a lot of revision notes, stuff on algebra, trigonometry and stuff. You?

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Bridget Summers
10:24 Jul 05, 2021

I LOVEEEEE ALGEBRAAAA

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Heyyy SS! I’m bored (and half asleep) so hiyiyiyiyiiiii (also new story hehe)

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Hiiii! Same here! I'm getting braces on Wednesday, and I'm freakin out! I'll check it first thing in the morning when I wake up :)

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Jay Luuu
09:33 Jun 16, 2021

Hey, SS!! I noticed that you've been inactive lately. I'm so sorry about the loss of your uncle. My dad's mom also passed away from covid last year. It really does hurt to see your parents cry, especially since you can't really do anything about it. The hard truth is that grief is the price to pay for loving someone. But it's always worth it in the end. I hope your family stays strong and safe especially! Continue to be strong! β€”From your fellow Reedsy author, JLU. :)

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Hey Jay, sorry for the late reply.... uh yeah... but no need to be sorry :) I hope her soul rests in peace and all is well in your family... Yeah... it does, I can't bear my mum crying... it feels so unnatural and it's hard to believe my uncle isn't here anymore... Yea you are right, the truth is always just hard to accept... Thanks, Jay, I really appreciate you and I'm really grateful to have people like you around to support me with kind words :) Thank you...

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22:34 Jun 07, 2021

Hope you feel better! Love your stories!

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I liked this story and you should too! :( :) The vocab was lovely as well :)

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Awww!!!!!!! That's so sweet of you to say! Thank you!!!!!

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Confidence 101: What activities make you feel good about yourself? Y-know the rules...

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Hmmmmmm...... Painting, Dancing, Debating, Public Speaking, Playing Chess if I am in a good mood, Reading, Writing :)

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Good job! Proud of you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope my attempt at helping your confidence works IRL. It's worth the try anyways! Different question tmrow.

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