While Writing

While Writing

   Sitting alone in my office, I began my latest short story when this happened. 

   “Hi dad!” said my daughter Tyler, age 9. 

   “Hi babe,” I said. Not looking up from my computer. 

   “Whatcha doin?” she asked.

   “Working on a story.” I said.

   “You sure have a lot of hobbies,”

   “I don’t think so. I really don’t have many.”

   “Look at all these different books. You should know how to do everything,” she said.

   “Hardly, I like to read but I can’t do everything.”

   “Looking at the shelf you have enough books to speak Arabic. Can you speak Arabic?” She asked. 

   “I know some, but not all of it. I’ve tried to learn it but when will I get to use it?” 

   “Oh,” 

My wife enters the room. 

   “Sam is outside complaining about the trash blown around by the wind last night,” she said.

   “Great, Sam, the angriest hippie I’ve ever met.” I looked at her and back at the computer mocking Sam’s attitude about life. “I am Sam, I have a problem for every solution. Where there is happiness I will water it down with disappointment. Where there is hope I will show you failure. Where there is right I will show you wrong. I am Sam the greatest agitator known to man!” 

   “Well, you need to clean up the trash cans,” she said. 

   Tyler giggles then starts asking about my books again. 

   “So, you have a book on how to play guitar. Do you know how to play the guitar?” she asks.

   “No, not yet. Someday maybe. It’s one thing I’d like to learn.”

   “What about the books on woodworking, do you know how to do that?” she asked.

   “I know a lot about it but there’s always something else to do. Besides, it’s expensive.”

   “How expensive?”

   “They say the best way to become a millionaire by woodworking is to start out as a billionaire.” I replied.

   “What does that mean?”

   “It means you will spend a lot of money to make very little.” 

   “Oh,” Undeterred she kept asking questions. “What is American Sign Language?” 

   “It’s the way people who can’t hear or speak talk with their hands.”

   “Your hearing is bad. You have hearing aids. Can you speak sign language?” she asked. 

“I’m learning it slowly. I can still hear but it’s getting harder. Maybe someday I will need to learn it just to talk to you.”

My wife reenters the room. 

“I just got off the phone with Aunt Lucy. It looks like her kidneys are failing. She may need a new one.” 

“Well mine are already spoken for and I’m planning on selling one to pay for Tylers’ braces.”

“Not the point, you need to call her and talk to her.”

“OK.”

“Dad, what are kidneys?” Tyler asked.

“They are like water filters for your body. Everything you drink goes through the kidneys before you pee.”

“Oh,” But her questions kept coming. “What is natural healing?”

“It’s a book I found on how to cure sicknesses without going to the doctor.”

“Do you know how to cure sicknesses without doctors?” she asked.

“No, it’s on my list to learn.”

“What does “survival hacks” mean?”

“Well, if you were to go hiking and you get lost in the forest you can use these ideas on how to survive.”

“Have you ever been lost in the forest?”

“No, not yet.”

“Well, you have enough books on it.”

“Yeah, well someday I’ll have to try some of those things out.”

“By getting lost?”

“No, I mean, trying them out to see if the ideas actually work.”

“Have you ever tried any of them?”

“I’ve tried a few things. But I’ve never really had a need for them yet.”

“Oh,”

My wife steps back into the room. 

“I’m getting hungry for dinner. What about you?” she asked.

“Yeah, I could eat.” 

“What are you thinking about having?” she asked.

“I’ll have one of our premade meals in the fridge.” 

“Are you sure that’s what you want?” she asked.

“Yeah, that’s why we made them.”

“I was thinking about steakhouse for dinner.”

“Well, why didn’t you start with that? Of course I’ll eat a steak.” 

“I knew you would.” she said.

“Why do women do that? Men are simple, feed them steak. Make them happy. Tell them they are going to get lucky that night and he’ll do whatever you want.” 

“Men are animals.”

“And?”

“You should be ashamed.”

“I’m not.” I said. Then she left the room

Tyler continued talking to me about my books. 

“So are you ever going to do these things?” she asked, pointing at the books. 

“Well, someday I’d like to do all these things. I just never have the time or the money.” 

“So their hobbies that you don’t get to do. Right?”

“Well, some I’ve done. Some I’ve started and not finished. Some I’ll get to when I get a chance.”

“I don’t know if I want hobbies. Why not just watch TV?”

“There is more to life than watching TV. Some people make a living from their hobbies.”

“Like how?”

“You listen to music don’t you?” 

“Yeah,”

“Many of those singers and songwriters started as a hobby. Now they do it all the time and make money.”

“Do you think you can make money off of your hobbies?”

“I have many dreams for my hobbies. I’d like to enjoy what I do but if I could make money I wouldn’t turn it down.”

   “I’m going to find a hobby.” she said.

   “Like what?”

   “I don’t know…”

“Hobbies are great distractions from the worries and troubles that plague daily living.”

                  Bill Malone.