Atam Corqain is the seventeenth "God of Mursi"

Submitted into Contest #74 in response to: Write a story that takes place across ten days.... view prompt


Science Fiction Teens & Young Adult Adventure


>Aquila Constellation

>Star: (Altair) # RA 19h 50m 47s | Dec +8° 52’

>Third sphere: “Proxima”

Progenies of Mursi/Proxima New World Settlers

Dept. of Relevant Accord  



Gen. Atam Corqain faces ascension trials to become the seventeenth member of the Mursian elite defenders:

The Gods of Mursi

This is an official recorded observation of Atam Corqain’s performance in module #2 of the ascension trials:

Twelve undertakings in ten cycles  

As observed by:

Lt. Marclyn Cooco, 5th Legion #45271-455

By way of the above seal of “The Department of Relevant Accord”, the following observations are hereby verified as authentic conclusions made by Lt. M. Cooco, on the above date, in relation to Gen. Corqain’s completed ascension trial scores.

As one of “The Seven who Judge”, Lt. Cooco’s direct observance of these trials are declared unbiased and reliable, thus his reflections will be entered in to Gen. Corqain’s military record in service to Mursian society.

             These scores and opinions are for official use only 

> 76-19- 19, 023

General Corqain,

Effective immediately, you are hereby requested to complete 12 tasks within the next ten cycles.

There is no specific order in which the tasks must be completed.

From the time of this letters mailing, three recording Nano drones have tracked it, those Nano drones are now tracking you and will record your every moment until the completion of these trials.

You must not interfere with nor make requests of the drones, or your trial grades will be affected severely.  

During these trials you are to eat no more than three meals in total with nothing in between and must maintain a generals regimen throughout.

No spirits or tonics are allowed during trials.

You will be provided with a shoulder sack, in which you can carry three items only. Choose wisely.

An attendant general has been assigned to you:

>Gen. Gober Tano

The general will only become available to you upon completion of two of the twelve tasks

Gen. Tano will not respond to inquiry, though will carry out your every order without question.

You may seek no further aid.

Your trial started when this message was opened.

Twelve trials:

Locate and retrieve unknown fruit 

Verdict: Pass


Intimidate fire

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: A true God of Mursi must possess the willingness to act as well as the strength to maintain their resolve. The ever-raging fires of the Acommic forest are never as docile as when Tam the extinguisher is near. We watched as the potential god twirled his staff until it spun in mid-air on its own, he continued to build up speed until the wind created by the spinning staff began to overwhelm nearby flames. After a short time a small circumference of  fire-free land could be seen through the occasional window of smoke.

The General has done it again. Seventeen Gods of Mursi is starting to seem inevitable.

Change the weather

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: None

Ask for help

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: None

Create a lasting monument

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: The elegance and impact of the general in battle are well known, but watching him create a work of art, then turning that work in to a floating glacier was quite astounding.

Tam used his “Ollari Element”, waving and twirling his staff, sending 2-ton crystal poles like flying sculptor shards to whittle away at an enormous block of ice on the eastern pole. When he was done, a gigantic frozen carving of the three patriarchs stood like a small mountain right at the tip of an isthmus. Once the carving was done he stood between it and the mainland and struck his staff in to the ice, opening a cloud in the sky that rained those heavy Ollari poles right along the frozen strip, breaking it off from the mainland and setting it adrift in to the icy seas. As a final touch he had his Fairy companion use its acid to bore holes in to each of the patriarchs eyes which allowed light to pass through, creating the image of ice giants with twinkling eyes.

An amazing creation, and again two tasks completed in one.


Visit 2 moons

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: A cleaver thing not before thought of by any general previously. Most initiates thus far have taken on the physical challenge of travel themselves, this general sees another way. While his attendant: Gen. Tano could not respond to any questions, when Tam ordered Tano to secure a way to visit two moons within an hour, Tano could only laugh; so simple a solution. While Tam himself was barred from seeking aid from another general, there was nothing that kept Tano from doing so. There was no ship available that could make such a trip in such a tight time frame, though there were a few adepts with teleporting capabilities, and both of the generals knew that getting service out of one of those teleporters was an easy yes.

The sage known as Nanook was not a general but his ranking as an anomalous adept were known by all. Not only could he create up to two doppelgangers of himself, not only could he warp matter around his body allowing him to pass through anything or anything to pass through him, but he could also form a bubble around his body that allows him to teleport vast distances in relatively short periods of time, and with another being; unlike some teleporters. 

The attendant made the request and the two generals with one elder adept sipped tea on an ocean of liquid silver on the Oncarian moon. Wonderful!

Sit motionless for one hundred hours consecutively.

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: Clearly, Gen. Corqain reflects the wisdom of the great teacher. He began his trials as every “God of Mursi” before him has; sitting like a mountain.  His choice of location was also an ultimately wise if not curious one, opting to use his entanglement with gravity to sit him self on a high ledge, inaccessible to most human things. His apparent knowledge of the “Screaming Tyrants” docile and playful temperament as hatchlings informing him that if he could withstand the giant birds initial aggressions, their tendencies towards play and curiosity always got the better of the young, high-peak dwellers.

We watched as three then four cycles passed without the general so much as blinking, when three young tyrants found him sitting. The boldest hatchling; unwilling to allow equanimity without challenge, approached him slowly like a feline predator sniffing, and judging. When it screeched in his face I thought for sure that the general would react, he didn’t. Even when the large bird charged at him, threatening to knock him off of the ledge, the general sat motionless; stoic in the face of the rambunctious cocks feigned jabs.

In a short time the two other cocks grew tired of the show and went on climbing, but the aggressive one had a new interest, siting down alongside the general and mimicking the resolve of a would-be master.

The two stared motionless until Tam’s hundred hours was up. He rose slowly and walked over to his new student, offering a pat of approval as the large, young bird ruffled its feathers. The two bumped heads and the screaming tyrant watched briefly as the general leapt from the plateau and descended slowly, on odd wings that the bird had never seen before, then headed upward to rejoin its brethren.

An impressive yet anticipated display, completing two challenging tasks in one is but the beginning, though Gen. Corqain on this occasion has acceded my expectations of him.  

Sip tea in the middle of the ocean

Vardict: Pass

Commentary: None

Become befriended by a wild animal

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: None

Reveal an illusion

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: Gen. Chree, Tam’s older cousin and the person he was with when the two became enveloped in the Olarri element, is one of the most well-known and respected generals we have. During the battle on Solsta 3 she tore through an entire regimen of Circons after they killed her lover Mannex. To hear that her younger cousin had been sleeping with her mate had to be difficult, but watching the sobbing general reveal this deep, dark secrete was hard to watch. If not for the mature manner in which General Chree responded I think our initiate would be hard pressed to continue these trials.

She did not scold him, nor say anything about her hurt; she simply told him that it was a long time ago, he was young and stupid and that he should not over-think it.

“I loved him, he loved many, but I never knew he liked men”

were her last words before using her own Ollari element to create a one-person platform that swiftly elevated her in to the sky where she leapt off and formed s violet Ollari wing set and glided off to wherever to deal with her delusions.

Our general fell to his knees, heart-broken that he had broken his cousins heart.

It takes courage to admit such wrong doing to someone so close. I applaud the general’s resolve.

Perform a feat that can not be duplicated

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: A simple task for any would-be God of Mursi. General Corqains entanglement with gravity, as well as levitation gives him amazing hyper-adherence to objects with enough mass. Many adepts, rather under the “Eminence”, “Entanglement”, “Anomalous” or “Dominion” banner can fly, watching Gen. Corqain walk directly up a wall is a site that many can not quite fathom and none yet can duplicate.     

Defeat yourself

Verdict: Pass

Commentary: A clear understanding of the root of all suffering should be displayed in any potential Gods response to this task. Where a general to seek out an outward conflict then that general would fail.

General Corqain displayed a true and deep understanding by simply playing in the field with children and animals. Revealing the illusory self as nothing at all to be defeated.


January 02, 2021 04:55

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Gary Belton
12:00 Jan 20, 2021

Not sure how it happened, but I somehow have two accounts now. If there is any interest, I have elaborated on this epic with a story titled: “Welcome to the system of Altair”


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Andrew Krey
20:09 Jan 07, 2021

Hi Gary, I've read your story as part of the critique circle, and really liked the concept. I've played with the idea of including 'reports' in my own stories, but not a whole story as a report. I think you pulled it off well, although I'm not sure if this fits the prompt. Is this story part of a wider world you have built? the story does raise lots of questions, but I feel this exactly suits what a report would include - if you added a lot of explanation about the wider world it would not fit the format you've set your story in. It does ma...


Gary Belton
05:31 Jan 09, 2021

Yes, it is part of a broader story. I would have liked to have gone further but it thus far is still a challenge for me to complete a story within 7-days, let alone edit thoroughly. I hope to improve in both of those aspects and do appreciate you reading and commenting.


Andrew Krey
06:00 Jan 09, 2021

You're welcome, good luck for the next one! :)


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