43 comments

Mystery

3 years ago

“Hey, it’s Mother’s Day,” my brother said, facing me.

“Okay…? So…?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me to her house.” He smashed his fingers together pleadingly, looking at my eyes. “Please, I’ll owe you. I know I just got a car but-”

I sighed. “Save it, Carlos. You can go yourself. I’m kind of busy.”

“Promise me you’ll FaceTime her tonight?”

“I promise, lil bro. Now go ahead. Tell her Happy Mother’s Day for me, alright?”

“Sure.” He nodded at me, tilting his navy blue cap. He grabbed his hoodie from a hook next to the front door and waved. The sun peeked when he opened the door.

“Bye, bro.”

“Cya, Kaylie.”

I really wanted to go with him, but that day was his birthday. I was knitting a gift for him. But what happened that day?

Exactly June 25th, at 10:29 PM…

He was gone.

I love staring at the same picture every day, the perfect picture of us three; Mom, Carlos, and me. Not Dad, though. He was the reason my mother was heartbroken and pale for months. He was the broken glass in the frame.

Sometimes I wish that when I touch his face in the picture, he would come alive. Then for the rest of the day, I wait for a knock on the door, not from the pizza delivery man, but from him. I want him to holler as loud as he can, saying, “I’m home!” I miss it. And on top of that, he died on his birthday. That just made it worse. I wanted to see the smile on his face when I knitted his hoodie and his scarf.

Then there was the news. Many say it was an accident, but some whisper it was a drunk driver. I believe it was an accident. The drunk driver was never shown in the pictures, so I don’t think he existed.

One day, I feel like I’ll lose everyone. My dad was crossed off the list several years ago, my brother long gone for three years. I’m afraid my mother would be next. Or maybe even me.

Either way, we were both still alive. I want to stay like that forever.

“Carlos,” I whimper out loud. “I…I-I still have the hoodie I was supposed to give you years ago for your birthday. I’d never forgotten it. I wish I can hand it to you now…”

I want to whisper “I love you,” but I don’t have the energy to. I don’t want to feel like crying.

Next Day

I mope around my bed with my legs crossing. I was going to watch a movie but was hung back by a call.

“Hello?” I say. On the other end, there was a cough.

“Uh, who’s this?” I ask. It sounds like someone was choking. I raise my eyebrow. “If this is a prank call, I will call the police.”

“H-hon (cough), this is your mom (cough cough). Can you buy some cough drops or lozenges in the market today and drop them off at my place? I (cough), I’m having a sore throat.” Her voice was ragged and dry.

My heart practically flips. “Yeah, I will…” I say anxiously. “Mom, will you be okay?”

“What? Of course (cough)! Just a little cough, nothing to worry. You can bring the medicine anytime today.”

“I-I...Okay, Mom. Stay safe.”

“You too, Kaylie!” She hangs up.

I think about staying here for another ten minutes to watch a little bit of my favorite show. But I think of Dad. Then Carlos. I decide I don’t want to risk anything. So I grab my keys, and run out of the door, not bothering to take my coat. It usually takes two minutes to lock my door because I still have trouble.

Once I got it all ready, I open the car, slam the door, and start to drive to the store.

Twenty minutes later

I open the door, making sure my wallet was secured in my bag. That’s when I saw a glimpse of a familiar face fifty feet away from me.

I think I almost passed out.

Same eyes, same hair color… My eyes were going wild. No! He died years ago! You just miss him. My eyes are playing around again.

I head to the store. My eyes kept looking back at that man. He was coming this way. I stop staring in alarm and focus them in front of me.

“K-Kaylie…? You haven’t moved..?”

I jump, frightened by the familiar noise that crept in me. Gosh, that was so familiar.

“Kaylie, hello? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I slowly turn around one hundred eighty degrees. There he was. The same face, the same green eyes, the same brown hair (or chocolate peanut butter as he used to call it). But I don’t believe it was him. He died years ago! People don’t come back to life like that. Impossible.

“Who are you?” I croak.

He raises an eyebrow. “It’s been three years, sis.”

Sis?

“Hold up,” I stop him suddenly. “I’m not your sister. My brother died years ago. In a car accident. You’re mistaking me for someone else.”

“So that’s what they told you,” he mutters. Then he says, “Oh yeah? You want me to prove I’m your brother?”

“Go ahead.”

“Alright. We literally look the same. And remember I was in a car crash three years ago? I was about to visit Mom on Mother’s Day, and I didn’t know how to drive well so I crashed. You didn’t come with me, because you said ‘I’m busy.’ It was also my birthday.”

My eyes widen. “Impossible,” I mumble. “But they told me you died! It was on the news!”

“No, I never died. The doctors thought I did because my heart almost stopped. But miraculously, I survived. Barely any chance. But I survived.

“And when they recovered from the astonishing news I was alive, they left the room. When they came back, they informed me you guys moved with Grandma, so I lived alone. And I still do.”

“We came back…”

“Yeah. I could see that.”

“Why did you never call me?” I cry, “Did you know that Mom is sick? She sent me here to get some medicine. And what about you? You’re just here, probably running errands for your girlfriends. What about me? Family first, you know? You never contacted me, and I bet you never tried to!” I bit my lips so hard; they turned white as my burning knuckles.

“Hold up there, Kaylie. I got a new phone after the crash. It broke badly. I also hit my head so hard, I got a little amnesia. Can you understand? But I will admit this is my fault too. I honestly wanted to spend some time alone. I’m sick that I still live with Mom, even though I’m old enough to live alone. Even you have your own apartment.”

“That’s because your lazy ass won’t get up to find a job!”

“Can we please stop arguing? This is the middle of a street, and didn’t you say Mom was sick?”

Oh no. I had to run.

“And,” he continues. He makes a familiar gesture, pounding his hands together. “Can I come with you?”

I look at him in his sparkly eyes. He looks apologetic, miserable, and regretful. I’m still angry at him that he didn’t come to us. I was mistaken all along! To think he was dead. But he was family, and I never let down family.

“Fine. I’ll give you another chance.”

“Thanks, sis! But anyway, what were you going to give me for my birthday? If-if you remembered…”

“Bro, I don’t forget birthdays. I’ll show you when we’re home. Now let’s help Mom.” I guess he was surprised I still have his present to give him three years ago, but the look on my face must have told him we need to hurry. I didn’t want to lose Mom too.

Not after what I’ve gone through. I can't lose her too.

July 25, 2020 16:28

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43 comments

-Claps- No, the ending isn't terrible. Kinda sad how you ended with the mother being sick, but at least that Carlos guy didn't die :'(

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Rosa Rainbowz
16:51 Jul 25, 2020

Thanks c:

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Akshat .
15:24 Jul 30, 2020

Nice story Rosa!

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Rosa Rainbowz
15:26 Jul 30, 2020

Aw, thank you! :)

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Amany Sayed
16:54 Aug 04, 2020

Oh, wow, this was a beautiful story, Rosa! I'm so glad you decided to join the Reedsy community!! This was a wonderful take on the prompt and I enjoyed it. Great job. If you ever have spare time, I would be grateful if you could check out and leave feedback on one of my more recent stories. Thank you and keep writing! 😾🍪 ᗩмaŇⓎ ♣☢

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Elliot Thomas
14:15 Jul 30, 2020

The ending isn't horrible. I wish we could know what happened to the mom, but other than that, I loved it. Keep writing.

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Rosa Rainbowz
15:19 Jul 30, 2020

Yeah, I was thinking the same thing too. 😓 But I'm glad you loved it!

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Elliot Thomas
16:10 Jul 30, 2020

Don't worry, you can always write a part two if you want.

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Geneva Savage
16:28 Jul 28, 2020

I loved your story Phobia that you put on your friend's page!!! You're a great writer :) Can't wait to see what you come up with next

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Rosa Rainbowz
01:54 Jul 29, 2020

Thank you!

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Sia S
04:37 Sep 12, 2020

I have a new story out. After writer's block. Would you mind checking it out ?

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Sia S
06:55 Aug 23, 2020

I loved Phobia! And this one is also super good! Part 2 ? Keep writing !!!

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Rosa Rainbowz
18:39 Aug 23, 2020

Thank you!!!!! maybe im not sure yet!

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Sia S
04:34 Aug 24, 2020

:)

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Megan Sutherland
00:32 Aug 23, 2020

Rosa, Thank you so much for all of the likes on my stories! That means so much to me, and I was so surprised when I went to check my notifications and it was full of likes on all of my stories. Thank you so much, it means a lot!

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Rosa Rainbowz
18:38 Aug 23, 2020

You are so welcome :)

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Zion Hintay
07:18 Aug 16, 2020

I love this more positive entry to the prompt. Sorry for the late comment. Really enjoyed reading this and how the guilt was eating her up. Liked you're portrayal of her shock when she realizes he's been alive and the explanation was well put together. Really enjoyed reading this. Keep up the writing :)

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Rosa Rainbowz
20:33 Aug 22, 2020

Thanks, Zion! Sorry for the late reply.

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That was really good! :)

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Rosa Rainbowz
05:56 Aug 13, 2020

Thanks!

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Megan Sutherland
01:07 Aug 09, 2020

👍

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Nobody Really
11:01 Aug 06, 2020

Woah. I want more!!!

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Rosa Rainbowz
22:30 Aug 08, 2020

Maybe when I have time, I hope! 😅

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Nobody Really
14:24 Aug 09, 2020

It's sad how life is so busy, that we don't have time to do things we like :(

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Rosa Rainbowz
02:47 Aug 10, 2020

I definitely agree. :(

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James Offenha
21:57 Aug 05, 2020

Great story!! It kept my interest. I liked how we got to be inside her head. Also, I like how she doubts and fights with her brother. Would love to read more of this story. Please let me know what you think of my story!!! Thanks

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Rosa Rainbowz
22:29 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you very much! I'll be there ASAP.

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11:18 Aug 04, 2020

This story was awesome, Rosa! I really liked the storyline in general, and the characters were very realistic. The fact that we didn't get to know what happened to their mom at the end was actually a good thing for me. It kept me guessing. Keep writing and stay healthy! -Brooke

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Rosa Rainbowz
22:29 Aug 08, 2020

Thank you! You too!

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17:10 Aug 09, 2020

You're welcome!

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. .
09:39 Aug 31, 2020

Beautifully written

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Kristin Neubauer
20:41 Aug 22, 2020

That's a cool story! I love that her brother was actually alive that entire time. How crazy would that be. Great characters, great plot, great writing. Post some more!

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Rosa Rainbowz
20:49 Aug 22, 2020

thank you.! I might be able to post a few more, but I'm just really busy with things. I'm helping Kendra write her next story though, I hope you read that one! :)

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Kristin Neubauer
21:58 Aug 22, 2020

I sure did - I thought it was great! I know how things can get busy. But whenever you post something again, I will def read, like and comment!

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Rosa Rainbowz
22:48 Aug 22, 2020

Thankyou!

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Deborah Angevin
14:25 Jul 31, 2020

First submission on your own account, yay! I agree with the other comments; the ending isn't bad. Also, would you mind checking my recent story, "A Very, Very Dark Green"? Thank you :)

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Rosa Rainbowz
14:48 Jul 31, 2020

Thanks! Of course!

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Cypress Grey
17:32 Jul 26, 2020

Cute story! Despite what you said, I don't think the ending was terrible. However, we could do with some closure on how the mom was rather than leaving it on that note since it appeared to be an important plot point. You normally don't want to leave plot points unresolved. As well, the transitions were a bit out of place and jarring. You can either try blending them in with the sentences (instead of writing NEXT DAY then the sentence, try writing "The next day, she...") or creating and obvious time shift, such as adding ... between paragraph...

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Rosa Rainbowz
18:39 Jul 26, 2020

Thank you so much for the feedback!! I greatly appreciate it! I'll be sure to read your stories soon!

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Cypress Grey
20:16 Jul 26, 2020

I'm glad it could help ^^

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Rosa Rainbowz
16:28 Jul 25, 2020

Horrible ending, but please give feedback :c

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00:47 Aug 01, 2020

Amazing job, Rosa! 🤩

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Rosa Rainbowz
15:05 Aug 02, 2020

Aw, thank you!

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