By the time I stepped outside, the leaves
were seemed to be on fire that day…my first day of high school.
“Cathy Jane??” said Ms. Vero that early cold morning. The first day of Fall had begun.
“You can call me C.J.” I replied abruptly like I always do when someone calls me by my full name.
“Okay, C.J.” Ms. Vero said then moving on to the next person on the list.
Class seemed to go by in a flash, that day. The hallways filled with kids with sweatshirts and huge sweaters. Fall has begun. Students have already found their group of friends, many extroverts all around. But I? No. I was an introvert who enjoyed my time reading books.
Second block is almost here, my mind raced as my feet picked up. I found the class, safely. As I walked in, I noticed students were talking but one caught my attention. He was tall, had long brown hair, with blue eyes behind his glasses. My heart stopped for a second. Only a second.
I sat down in my seat… oh gosh. Went my heart.
Days had passed and I needed an opening, some way to talk to him but he was always surrounded by his friends. And I was too shy to go talk to him. Oh what do I do? I groaned.
One day, he needed help and he asked me…it was a good thing I actually knew the work. That would have been embarrassing. I was nervous the whole time but I did it! And I guess I became the pretty girl who helped him with his homework. I mean, it was a pretty low status but at least I could be with him.
After that, we hung out and became good friends, it was really cool. But my feelings? What do I do with those?
“C.J wanna get on the game later??” he asked me that day, a very cold day. I smiled back at his smile, his nose slightly red from the cold air
“Why? I’m just gonna drag you again.” I replied.
“In your dreams” he said touching my head.
“Yeah yeah…then I guess all those times where you screamed about losing were just a dream too huh?” I said.
“Yup” he replied. I laughed, and muttered an ‘okay’. He walked with me for a couple more steps then his friends called him over… I noticed a girl with them this time.
“Yeah, coming!” he yelled back. He then turned around and started walking backwards facing me as we walked.
“Don’t forget, kay?” he said.
“I won’t.” I said rolling my eyes. He then hugged me…and I couldn’t feel the cold at all. He felt like a blanket protecting me from the cold. Me being a smaller framed person, I felt like a kid in his arms. My head barely touched his chin…I felt really happy in that moment. It felt like forever till he let go.
“See ya” he said waving, he ran over to his friends, his brown hair that was below his shoulders bouncing slightly.
I stood there feeling all sorts of things, all sorts of feelings. I felt too happy, for a hug? Yup. The week after I was still so happy. And the week after, I hate to admit it but I was waiting for another one. August passed, and September came. And that’s when I found out you were dating her.
I felt my heart shatter just a little… but what could I do. I was the girl who helped with your homework…the hug meant nothing to you. It was simply gratitude, but I felt over the moon.
I still remember the day you told me you were dating her…and I felt really sick. But I said “Congratulations”
“I just came to tell you that, and I probably won’t hang out as much either cause you know–” he said.
I interrupted him I didn’t want him to say it again. “Yes yes I know I get it.” I said heartbroken but trying to act happy for you. The last thing I wanted was to get between them so I kept my distance. I can’t deny it, but it was also for me too.
“Game later?” you asked me everyday, I guess it was your way of keeping in contact with me.
“Sure” I replied, some days I said no. For my own sake.
I hate to say it but seeing you with her became natural at some point… And I had started dating other people, but of course they didn’t exactly last long. They were cool and everything but I wasn’t exactly happy with them…and they both ended.
One day you asked to hang out and I said yes. I missed hanging out you. I missed you in general.
“It feels like its been awhile huh?” you asked me on another cold day.
“It has been awhile.” I said back stuffing my hands in my pockets.
“Woah you sound mad? Miss me?” he asked me.
“No not really” I replied in a lie.
“Oh wooow” he replied in surprise.
“I’m joking.” I said with a smile. “I missed you.”
“Same” he said back with that smile. I was silent…my mind trying to process the information.
“So? What’s up?” I asked him.
“Well…” he says with a shrug. “We broke up.”
“Oh.” I say looking up at the sky, trying to stop the stupid smile from forming on my lips. “Are you okay?” I asked.
“Yeah I’m good. I guess… I just wasn’t happy, ya know?” he said…
“Yeah I get that” I responded looking up at the blue sky, there are no clouds. So pretty. Even though I like him…All I wish for him is happiness.
“You’ll find someone better.” I said patting his shoulder.
“Oh yeah?” he says with a light smile.
“Yup!” I said returning his smile. “You’ll find someone who gives you happiness just wait! They could even be right in front of you.”
“You might be right about that…” he said his cheeks slightly pink. The cold?
“That’s the spirit” I say with a smile. That cold day we went to many stores…played games, and did many new things.
The sky was now dark blue…tainting with stars. Christmas is near.
“Same with you, C.J.” he said that day as the sky.
“Hm?” I asked in question.
“You’ll find someone who gives you happiness too, one day” he says.
“Oh!” I said in surprise. “But I am already happy…just being here…with you…”
On that cold night…I hoped my feelings reached you.
Few more weeks passed and Christmas was even more closer. The skies were filled with jolly music. The houses decorated with accessories. And shops singing “Jingle all the way.”
I swung on the swings…breathing out as my breath entered the air. I needed to be away from the house for awhile.
“Hey” a deep voice said. I recognized it. I looked up..to find you staring down at me.
“Hey, yourself” I responded back.
“I- I have something to say.” is what you started with.
In your arms is how the day ended.
On the 13th of December your feelings reached me.
Our love began.
~ To C.J Dunstall and Her Boyfriend. Happy 10 Months!!💖