“I remember now. I forgot to-”
You forgot to close the door, and a burning chicken ran into the house, and set your couch on fire. The flames spread, and soon your entire house was burning to the ground.
“What kind of story is that?”
Duh. It’s yours, silly.
“No, it’s not.”
Of course it is. You said, “I forgot to-” and you were going to say, “I forgot to close the door, and a burning chicken ran int-"
“No, I was NOT going to say that. I was going to say, “I forgot to close the-”
The oven door, and you also forgot to turn off the oven, and a chicken got into your house, flew into the oven, and accidentally closed the oven door on itself. It caught on fire, and while it was flapping around in the oven, trying to get out, it knocked into the door and it opened, and so the burning chicken escaped and ran around your house, catching everything on fire.
“NO. That is not what happened. Now let me finish saying what I was going to say.”
Fine, fine. Go on then.
"I was saying, before you so kindly interrupted me, I forgot to close the front door. I turned around to go and close it, and my dog got out. She ran up to me and knocked the pudding a la flambé that I was taking over to the neighbor’s birthday party and-”
And when you dropped it, a chicken was running past you, and it fell on the chicken and the chicken caught on fire, and that’s when it ran into your house and caught everything on fire.
“It wasn't even a la flambé yet! Now shut up and let me tell you what happened. I dropped the pudding, which was not a la flambé yet, and I ran to catch my dog. I managed to get my dog back inside. When I brought her back in, I caught a whiff of smoke, and so I followed the smell. When I got to the kitchen doorway, I found that I was blocked by a wall of flames. I got my dog and ran outside, calling the fire department on the way.”
I knew it was the burning chicken.
“No. What is it with you and burning chickens?”
They’re the number one reason why houses burn down.
“Since when?”
Uhhh…. I can’t say.
“Mhmm, okay. Whatever. But it turns out that I had left my stove on, and somehow a notebook fell on the stove.”
Because the chicken knocked it onto the stove. And then the chicken caught on fire.
“No, no, NO. Now listen to the rest of my story. So the notebook caught on fire, and the flames spread. They spread quickly, too, so before I knew it, my house was in flames. And there you have it. That’s how my house burned down.”
What about the burning chi-
"THERE WERE NO BURNING CHICKENS! If you’re going to narrate my story, then you need to get it into your brain that no burning chickens were involved. Or else I’m finding a new narrator."
Okay, okay. Touché.
"I just wanted you to know that there were no burning chickens. Wait, hold on a minute. I'm getting a call."
Who is it?
"It's a neighbor from down the street. She's saying... oh."
What? What is she saying? Go on, tell me.
"Well... she's, uh, saying... um, she's telling me that there's, uh, a burning chicken setting her couch on fire....."
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163 comments
I'm available if you are :)
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oki, i'm busy rn with school, but i'll be on in a couple classes
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sure, whenever works best for you :)
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okay :) <3
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<3
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I'll try to be on later, sorry that it couldn't happen this morning. things are getting chaotic, but God's got it. cya <3
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Okay, that's fine. <33333
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This was super fun to read! Your title and opening got me interested right away, and then the absurdity of the narration kept me reading. I was almost always wondering: what's going on?? What am I reading?! But you know what, the reason I think this is a good read is because it doesn't make sense, and it doesn't have to. Nice work!
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Thank you so much! I tried to come up with a title that was as absurd as the story itself, and I'm glad others think so too! And I'm so glad that the nonsensical-ness (that is absolutely not a word haha) was entertaining! My thought process while writing this entire thing was "What am I doing?? where is this going??", so I'm happy you had a similar thought process while reading it :)
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Nonsensical-ness is enough of a word if I still know what you mean! The wonders of English...
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Yes, the wonders of English! You should look up the Cambridge University word study!
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Heyo! No new stories? 0.0 Also, how are you?
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Hii!! Nope, no new stories, I'm trying though I'm doing pretty okay, what about you?
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Trying counts as much so, nice! :)) That's nice, I suppose. I mean okay is better than worse than okay but it's still not as good as awesome so I do hope you feel awesome soon. XD I'm fine!
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:)) xD life isn't always awesome, unfortunately 😂😂 that's good that you're doing fine! Glad to hear it!😊😊
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true true lol. :) how's writing?
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lolll :))) eh, been so busy i can barely write, writing for school assignments is so harddd thoughhhh
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Hey Missa! Just wanted to say, WELCOME BACK!!!!!!! Also, get this - I got three new stories for ya! AND I am super stoked for your latest story, whenever it will come out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wait- you WORK AT SONIC?! What is Sonic? (Indian FOMO)
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Hey, DJ! THANK YOU!!! Ooh, can't wait to read them! Ahhhh, I'm trying, I'm trying, i'll try to finish it ASAP! YES!!! It's a fast food restaurant with ice cream and burgers and corn dogs and churrosssssssss and churro shakessssss!! https://www.thedailymeal.com/eat/9-things-you-didn-t-know-about-sonic-drive
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Nice nice😊😊😊😊
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😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊
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#icantspell
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*person
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you is a great persosn
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spammmy spammy spam
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henlo
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<3
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you said we should spam so i am
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I love chickens. This story is fire lol
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same. especially when they're burning /j hehe, tyty i just realized.... it's "fire" *facepalm*
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BAHAHAHA omgggggggg im so funny lmaooo
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Haha super entertaining, fantastic job!!
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:) thank you so much!
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You're welcome :D
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I'm sorry but I may or may not have found your blog through comment stalking. *Whoops* AND I FOUND OUT YOUR FAVE BOOK IS PILGRIM'S PROGRESS AND THAS CRAZY CAUSE IM CURRENTLY READING THAT BOOK-LIKE ITS LITERALLY ON MY LAP RN- And I intend to read Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners by the same author soon, lol. How are you?
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Hehe, I'm famous YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS WHOOOOOOOOOOO IT'S SUCH AN AMAZING BOOOOOOOKKKKKKKKKKKKKK ooh, never heard of that one before imma have to check it out I'm simply amazing, what about you?
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heyo lol long time no talk :) how are you? how's writing?
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Yess I knowwww I'm doing good! Haven't written much lately. Wbu?
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nice! belated happy new year btw :) have a lovely year! neither have i, tbh XD tho i plan to, this week.
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You too :) xD I actually wrote half a Valentine's day song, though
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How are you doing?
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I'm doing amazing, how are you doing?
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Me too!! I started an internship with IMUN!!! Do you wanna participate?
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That's good to hear! Ooh, what's that? And how would I do that?
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Check my bio...It's an international comp where people kind of imitate the actual UN, have you heard of MUns (model United Nations?)
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Ooh, that sounds awesome! And no, I haven't until now!
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It's been so long (definitely more than a week) and I am still the sutor of the week.....XD
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Yes, it hath been too long! What's a sutor of the week?
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Author of the week...in your bio! (and thank you for liking my post on Instagram!)
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Ohhhhh ok, yeah, i think you kind of deserve to be author of the week every week! (you're welcome! also you looked so pretty in your outfit!)
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Thank you so much! Ahh, thank you, I was like "Hmmm.... what to name the story?"
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hehe, thank you
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Glad to have you back, Missa <3 Hope to see more of you soon :)
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<3333
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