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Adventure Fiction Thriller

I slowly unzipped the tent window to peer outside. It was too dark to see anything.

“Annie?”

“You heard it, too?” she whispered. 

My friend Annie and I went camping for the weekend, a summer ritual that we’ve done for several years. After the sudden death of Annie’s father, she refused to talk to anyone but me. After being diagnosed with depression, she adopted a service dog named Charlie, a now eight-year-old Belgian Malinois.

“Was it Charlie?” I breathed.

 “No, she’s right here, but I think she heard it too.”

 We both sat still. The animal stood in front of the tent, sniffing at the entrance. Charlie let out a low, threatening growl, and it slipped away.

 “Nichole, I think we should go.”

 “What if it comes back? The car’s miles away.”

“If we stay awake, we can pack up and leave in the morning.”

Charlie settled down, staying alert. Annie and I stayed up, fearing the worst whenever we heard even the faintest sound.

As the night drifted by, our eyes became heavy. We slowly slipped into sleep. 

Morning sunlight shone through the fabric of the tent into my tired eyes. I sat up and looked at Annie.

“You fell asleep too?” I assumed.

“I figured I could trust Charlie.”

I looked at the lump of ginger fluff curled up peacefully on the ground.

“Guess not! Good morning, girl!”

 Annie and I sat in the tent while Charlie walked around outside, stretching her legs.

After packing the rest of our gear, we secured her leash and started down the narrow dirt path. The soft green of the aspen trees seemed to draw us in as we traveled silently. There were several campsites along the way. Annie and I always chose the one at the end of the trail, surrounded by aspen trees. We’ve had no problems with people or animals; minus the occasional crow or two.

Annie tapped on my shoulder. “Hey Nichole, I know we are only a mile in, but I have to pee. Could you hold Charlie?”

“Yeah, sure.” I don't mind holding Charlie. I get to pet her soft, ginger fur while she gives me grateful kisses. This time was different. Charlie looked concerned and started pulling me to Annie.

“What's the matter, girl?”

But then I heard it and let go of her leash. It sounded like a girl’s scream — a mountain lion.

“Annie! Where are you?”

I peered over the bushes where Charlie stood protectively in front of Annie. She was barking at the lion, trying to scare it off. I heard a terrifying shriek and saw a tan blur go past me. 

“Annie!”

She slowly walked over to me, looking around. We both sat down for a moment and scanned the area, making sure the mountain lion left.

“Annie, are you okay?”

“Yeah, before it could get me, Charlie scared it off.”

“Is she okay?”

Charlie let out a little bark to say yes.

“Nichole, do you remember what the park ranger said if we see a mountain lion?”

“Yeah, he said that we would be lucky, and it was not for a good reason. It might be stalking us or have a disease.”

“He also said to call him if we saw one,” Annie added.

“Well, if it weren't for Charlie, I would have been cat food. Do you think it’s stalking us?”

Annie and I looked at each other. We both laughed uneasily.

“Annie, I'm going to go with no more breaks, and let’s hurry it up. That means you too, Charlie.” She let out a ‘woof!’ “Do you have cell service?” I asked.

“No, do you?” Annie asked.

“I have one bar. I’ll try calling the station.”

Dialing the phone, we heard the lion again. The ranger picked up, and Annie started yelling at me.

“Th-the lion!”

I slowly turned around and saw the mountain lion only a few yards away. The cat had its ears pinned to the side of its head, hissing at the sight of Charlie, who was barking at the end of her leash. With each step it took, Charlie would reposition herself to keep it back. She lunged, teeth bared, as the cat stepped closer. She latched onto the back of the cat's neck. Blood trickled out of Charlie's mouth. The cat was clearly in pain. It stood there for a moment before leaping into a tree.

“Good girl, Charlie!” Annie said in a shaky voice. “Nichole, let's go.”

“Um… hi, we just had a mountain lion almost attack us.” There was a pause, as if waiting for the other person to reply. “Our dog bit it, and it ran off.”

The person at the other end of the line said they would take their team out to handle it. They also said if we see it again to not run, but to back away slowly.

Charlie led the way for another mile, leaving us with a half-mile to go. There was another scream.

“Really?” Annie sighed.

“Let's hope Charlie can scare it again.”

Charlie let out a low, threatening growl and started barking. The cat backed off but had its eyes locked on us. Its tail twitched, and it still has blood on its neck from the previous attack. Charlie lunged and latched onto the cat’s neck for the second time. The cat’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Nichole run!”

I started running, daring to look back. When I did, Charlie ran to me. Annie was slowly walking backward. I grabbed the leash, trailing behind Charlie, and ran back towards Annie. At the sight of Charlie running, the lion took off. Annie and I started running too, and didn’t look back.

 All the beautiful green trees seemed to turn into giant green walls. The narrow dirt trail seemed to get smaller. The beautiful sounds of the forest seemed to turn off. 

When I saw the car, I looked back. Annie was nowhere to be seen, yet I continued to the car, picked up Charlie and placed her in the passenger seat. I jumped in and drove to the start of the trail, but the car wouldn’t fit. I took Charlie out again and started running back down the trail with her.

“Annie!”

June 19, 2021 21:15

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11 comments

J B
05:39 Jul 01, 2021

Hi Kaya! You write well. I've a question. In the ending, why did Nichole go without Annie and return for her only after the car failed to get out of the trail?

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Kaya Atkins
18:36 Jul 01, 2021

So, when I originally wrote this, it was for the prompt 'End with a character waiting for their friend.' I didn't get to finish this in time, so I ended it after the prompt deadline. When this prompt came along, I decided to change the ending, but didn't want to do this too drastically. I was also thinking because they are on an adrenaline rush, they aren't thinking clearly so make it an unknown ending and something that when you look back at it does not make sense why you did that. I have my friends edit and I write, they helped me with th...

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J B
13:24 Jul 02, 2021

I just thought that since they're close, kind of like sisters, Nichole wouldn't leave without Annie, especially considering the fact that Annie suffered from depression and talked only to her. I'd love to know have another ending. Oh, you wrote a book:)

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Kaya Atkins
23:07 Jul 02, 2021

Maybe I could use that as an ending. I'm excited about my next idea for this weeks prompt. I would love your feedback on that one. If you want I can let you know when I publish that one? Again I need feedback like this! Thank you!

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J B
07:04 Jul 03, 2021

I'd love to read your story for this week. Sure, pls let me know.

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Kaya Atkins
18:33 Jul 03, 2021

Will do! My friend and I are going over it one more time but will let you know when I get he email saying it's visible.

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Jerry Nourrie
06:32 Jun 30, 2021

The ending to this was great. Thanks for sharing!

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Kaya Atkins
18:28 Jul 01, 2021

Thanks

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NK Hatendi
02:12 Jun 29, 2021

I liked the dramatic ending!

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Kaya Atkins
18:24 Jul 01, 2021

Thanks

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