Stupid Reflection

My reflection stares back at me, judgment sparkling in its eyes.

You are nothing.

It spats the words in my face. I puff my chest out, trying not to let its words get the best of me even though my heart is starting to crack inside.

You are an unimportant ghost.

A twisted smile creeps onto my reflection's face. It clearly enjoys taunting me, it clearly doesn't mind robbing me of my confidence, leaving me alone and helpless.

You are nothing but flaws. Only flaws.

Its words are sharp knives stabbing me over and over and over again. Tears begin to sting my eyes and my heart cracks a little more.

"Please stop. Just...just please go away." I beg it to end its torture-hasn't it had enough fun for today?

It smirks, obviously pleased with the fact that I can't take its hurtful words much longer, that I've become too weak to withstand it any longer.

Weakling. A baby could punch you and you would probably begin to wail.

It taunts me, putting clear images in my mind of me and my flaws. My stupid flaws. Tears unwillingly roll down my cheeks and my heart only cracks more.

You imperfect little human. Why can't you just look like the models on TV?

My body trembles and my head falls downward, unable to look at my stupid reflection. I'm so weak. I'm so ugly. I'm so stupid.

I'm not enough.

I'm not smart. I'm not strong. I'm not beautiful.

I lift my head the slightest, meeting eyes with my reflection. Stupid reflection. A snarl positions itself on its face, my reflection's eyes glow hauntingly. It's growls seven words. Only seven words.

You're not enough. You'll never be enough.

I sink to the ground, my knees hitting the floor with a thud. Tears slice down my red cheeks and my whole body trembles like an earthquake is taking place inside me. I squeeze my eyes shut and disappear into an eerie blackness. There is nothing here. I'm drifting in space, no air to breathe, no water nor food.

Alone.

I'm not enough. I'm not enough. I'm not enough.

I'm chanting the phrase over and over again, as if my life depends on it. Maybe if the reflection sees what has become of me, it'll take mercy on me. When it realizes how broken I've become it'll surely take pity on me.

Surely.

Not enough. Imperfect little human being. Flaws, only flaws. Weakling. Nothing.

I can hear my reflection singing a horrible song in my ear, whispering it over and over until it's stuck in my brain.

Nothing. Flaws. Models on TV...

"Stop. Please stop." My words are barely heard over the brutal song. No one can hear my cries for help.

Never enough. Weak. Imperfect...

"Just leave me alone! Please! Please..."

Stupid. Ugly. Ugly...

"Please...please...please..."

Flaws. Nothing. Not eno-

Crash!

My fist slams into the mirror. Glass shards twinkle in the light as they fall to the ground. I feel dark blood begin to run down my fist. I lift my head, wanting to see the damage I've done.

It's gone. My terrorizing reflection is gone.

Millions of glass shards lay on the floor around me, some even have cracks around their sharp edges.

I begin to cry. Loud, croaky sobs are strangled out of me as I rock back and forth, my body curled in a ball. Half of me is glad that it's all over, that the days of being bullied and tormented by my stupid reflection are over. But the other half of me sobs for another reason. How could I have fallen for it all? How could I have let my stupid reflection get the best of me? How could I have put up with all the hatred, all the mean comments?

I cry until a splitting ache in my head begins to slither in, I cry until I am too weak to stand, to even move.

Blackness tints the sky outside my window. Tiny little glowing lights sprinkle the darkness, like how basil is sprinkled over spaghetti as a garnish. And in that very moment, the strangest thought finds its way to my mind.

Aren't flaws like the stars in the sky? Maybe we just start out like the dark, black sky.

Maybe we start out as boring.

The thought rambles inside my head, growing and stretching until every thought leads to another, which leads to another.

Our flaws are the radiant stars in the night sky. They sparkle, they shine bright, making each of us unique and beautiful.

We are all beautiful, aren't we?

So if we were all perfect, if each one of us was the same as the next, if each one of us was only a black sky...

We would be boring, wouldn't we?

I smile at the weird, perhaps even quirky, thought. Flaws are etched inside of me. Hundreds of flaws.

I am not perfect.

A glowing hope warms my heart, like a flamed candle could warm a finger. It courses through my veins, igniting me with a bright hope.

I remember my reflection. My stupid reflection. All the days of crying. All the days of feeling like I was never enough.

I was always enough. I will always be enough.

My confidence is built up, brick by brick. I feel like I'm flying. I drift lightly in the air, like a balloon filled with helium.

I smile and push myself to my feet. My legs feel stronger, something I haven't felt in a long time.

It feels amazing.

I spot a larger shard of the mirror laying on the floor. It just lays there, glinting in the moonlight. It looks so helpless, so lost, so alone. Taking a deep breath, I approach the glass. I can see my reflection. It has a twisted grin on its face, though it's eyes are filled with fear.

Like the fear I used to feel.

You're not enough, you imperfect litt-

My foot smashes its face before it can finish its sentence. I grin, pleased with myself.

I know very well that I'm not anything near perfect.

I kick the cracked shard to the side.

And I'm glad I'm not.

Author's note

I want to dedicate this story to anyone who feels like they are not enough. I hope you know after reading this, that your flaws make you who you are. I want to tell you that you are enough, and hold your head up high in honor of your imperfections. They make you who you are.

-LilyRama