Promentalshitbackwashpsychosis

This is from a novel I've been working on called Bleed. I realize this part doesn't exactly fit in with the showtime theme but, when you think about it, high school debates are a show in and of itself.

Man, time flew by real swift. You think you have all the time in the world to work on something that is the most important thing in your life at the moment.

There are days where I am super focused and nothing shakes me. And then are other days…

“Dad, why are talking about Notre Dame AGAIN?! This is a dead horse. I am not going, Duke isn’t going either. Accept it and move on!

“Why do you two always defy me? This is for your own good!”

“No, it’s for yours! You don’t give a shit about what we want! And why this obsession? Why? Do you owe a favor to someone on the board? Like a political figure?”

“My business is none of yours. This isn’t up for discussion. I already have you starting there next fall.”

“Well, good luck making me go. I turn 18 next month, you can force me to do shit, because I am going to Eastern Illinois and THAT’S not up for discussion.”

“You do this, and I am going to cut you off. Permanently.”

“You’re kidding, right? Because you don’t get your way, you’re going to cut me off?! You can try but I know shit you’ve done and said to me, Duke, all of us! It doesn’t matter where you send me, I can guarantee you, I’ll make your life harder than you’re making mine right now.”

The thing about Montague Laurier is…he thinks he’s invincible, above reproach. He and my mother Marjory think that bad behavior never catches up to them, thumbing their noses at the universe and karma.

The Lauriers and Abernathys have these tastes that would have child protective services on them in a heartbeat and I'm convinced they’ve paid them off too.

I remember the nights they would have these “private parties” for some of Chicago’s trendsetters and influencers (is that even a word? ). They had their own version of party games. Some would involve the four of us, and it never ended well for any of us….

I don’t have time to go down Nightmare on Elm Street…can’t wait to see that movie…

I need to rehearse my points for our mock debates. Iggy and Ellis, my other teammate, came over today so that we could revise a few points. We have a bit of a system when we are in a debate: I will be the persuasive one, Iggy is the blunt one, and Ellis is the eloquent one.

Ellis Thompson is the grandson of Representative Arthur Patterson, and it shows from the way he makes his points when debating. He wants to one day go to the House of Representatives as a Democrat, which will go over with his Republican loyalist family. He has Golden Age of Hollywood looks and he does attract some really good looking girls, which makes me and Iggy laugh because we’re with some pretty loyal girls. Ellis enjoys the attention but he re-focuses his energy on the matter at hand every time. He wants this victory as much we both do and our team-up has gotten us the last two wins against some formidable schools.

“So we are all in agreement that I should start off with greenhouse gases and its effects on various ecosystems?” I asked, shuffling and organizing my index cards with bullet points highlighting places such as the Amazonian rainforest, the Outback of Australia and even our own Starved Rock.

“I think you might be able to pull the audience in,” Ellis said, “I’ve been reading that greenhouse gases are starting to eat away at the atmosphere.”

“So, Ellis,” Iggy interjected, “How are you going to tie in your point to DJ’s?”

“It’s easy to tie in how carbon emissions leads to the global temperature rising. Did you all notice how unbelievably hot it got this summer?” Ellis made himself the unofficial researcher of our team, which is a good thing but he was masking something from us.

“What’s going with you?” I asked Ellis, noticing he wasn’t as enthused about that fact or even being here with us. His mind was somewhere else.

“Nothing, really, just trying to deal with my father’s nonsense again.” Ellis was reading my mind, because that sounds like my plotline in my life.

“You sound like me, ” I said, “my father is giving me shit too.”

“Is he also putting you in the middle of a toxic situation with your parents divorcing? Mine is. My mother found out about his “secret admirer” and she threatened to take everything from him. He just looked at her and said “you can do what you want, you’ll never get a dime” and that she needed him more than he needed her. Now he’s making me and my sisters choose sides. I don’t want to, they’re both acting like kids. All I want is for him to get his shit together. He doesn’t even care. I just want to get as far away from this bullshit and next fall can’t come soon enough.”

Talking about our dads seemed so inappropriate, with Iggy still watching his father recover from aggressive chemo from his latest battle with throat cancer. Talking about healthy fathers who are very unhealthy to a person who almost lost his dad was a bit insensitive on my part.

All of us needed healing.

“Hey, Iggy,” I said, being very contrite, “sorry for bringing this up. This is tough for you, I imagine.”

“DJ,” Iggy said, “You and Ellis have had problems with your dads in the short time I’ve known you both. I’m not worried about you all talking about yours in front of me. I’m worried about THE TWO OF YOU, especially you, DJ.”

Iggy really could read people, which is why we always worked well on these debates. Chalk it up to the Scorpio in him.( Yeah, I believe in astrology. I just don’t tell people.) This, however, hit me in my gut, because I knew what he was going to say next. Chalk that up to the Scorpio in ME.

“You don’t need to worry, Iggy,” I assured, even though he knew I was lying anyway.

“Yeah," Iggy responded, "I do. This is affecting your presentation, and our time on this is going by quickly. This is affecting your life too. Ellis, he can patch up his relationship with his dad. That love-hate relationship between them will be tight as always. Don’t get me wrong, my dad and I get into arguments, and his sickness made him more bull-headed and stubborn. He wants to beat cancer, not the other way around. I love my dad, despite our occasional disagreements. But, you and your dad…there’s a wound, a deep festering one, put there by your father and mother, I gather, and that’s eating away at every part of you. That’s gonna affect how you perform next week. If you don’t heal that, it’s going to turn you into an infected, toxic person. Don’t turn into Montague Laurier. That will be your downfall.”

Iggy nailed it.

I feel very exhausted, and distrusting around people because of Montague, Marjory. I’m surprised he hasn’t patented his toxicity for mass consumption.

“I am trying, Iggy, but he makes it hard to heal. I don’t even want him to come to this debate because he just wants to embarrass me. He knows I have a great future ahead while he’s wasted his being a high society jackass. I want to change the world, he wants to fuck it up.”

“Try harder, DJ! If this man wants to be a thorn in your side, it’s because you want him there. Remove the thorn because this energy is draining you. One of the reasons we win these debates is because you’re so focused on the opponent, watching how they operate and when you pinpoint that person’s weakness, you strike. Do that with him. You know his weakness. Use that to strike at him. Disinvite him. I guarantee you he won’t take that well.”

“You don’t know my dad, Iggy, the man has a way making himself welcome where he’s not wanted. He doesn’t know the meaning of “no” and I am tired of fighting with him.”

“He’ll learn today,” Iggy said, saying that with all the authority that he’s known for on the debate stage, “You know he won’t like it but he’ll learn not everyone will bow before him. The Bible says to honor thy mother and father, it never said anything about kissing their asses to love you. Sounds like that’s what they want you and Duke to do. You know what to do. Just sayin’.”

Iggy could be a motivational speaker, very no-nonsense and sparing no one’s feelings. As much as I was fighting against what he was saying, because I already knew what was going to happen, he was right.

Right after Ellis and Iggy went home, I told my father he wasn’t coming to my debate. I didn’t want him or mom there. Montague went silent, and I think this was the first time he actually heard the word no uttered by someone. The only reaction I got from Montague was this:

“We’ll see.”

He doesn't like being left out. His ego won't allow it. Not my problem. I have a debate to prepare for.